"Mirror, Mirror on the wall . . . where did he go, and why doesn't he call?"

Experiences With Sagittarius Male

Sagittarius, the sign of the adventurer. What’s around the next corner no one knows, but Sagittarius is sure to be the first one to go have a look see. These guys can be lots of fun and spending time with one, most likely, you’ll be exposed to new things and generally, you’ll have a great time. However, it’s been my observation that Sagittarius men can fit into two completely different opposite ends of the spectrum. The sign of Scorpio has been known to have three specific phases to its growth and to be honest, I feel much the same about the sign of Sagittarius.

But in reality, it probably breaks down more like this: you have your “progressed” Sagittarius male and then you have your “unprogressed” Sagittarius male. Translation: Some Sagittarius men are enlightened, displaying their best qualities, while others are at the complete opposite end of the spectrum and have their feet stuck in the primordial soup, so-to-speak. One is of the mind, while the other is generally about the experience.

And depending on which one of these guys you’ve encountered, you may find your enjoyment of your time spent with a Sagittarius male to be of two opposite ends of the spectrum as well.

The Sagittarius Male

Here’s a quick example to bring the point home. Here are two Sagittarius men at complete opposite ends of the spectrum – one of the enlightened mind, one of the primordial experience: Nostradamus, the great seer - and Nikki Sixx, the rocker of Motley Crue.

Both are Sagittarius males and each couldn’t be more different that the other. One is displaying the signs higher mind tendencies while the other is displaying the signs love of adventure and unadulterated experience. No real surprise as Sagittarius is one of the “mutable” (i.e. changeable) signs of the Zodiac. They are also ruled by the planet Jupiter, the planet of expansion, they have a love of the color purple, and they are associated with the 9th House, that of the “higher mind.”

Regardless of their status in life, this is an extremely intelligent group and you will find that some Sagittarius men put their intelligence to good use while others tend to use it for nefarious purposes.

An example of a cunning Sagittarius man putting his intelligence to use in nefarious ways would be Ted Bundy, the serial killer. He used his intelligence and charm to disarm women and ultimately turn them into unsuspecting victims that experienced horrific acts of violence and sadism at his hands.

Other Sagittarius men tend to use their intelligence in varied, much more positive ways and you will find that many a Sagittarius man tends to be a jack of all trades, master of none. Sagittarius men in general tend to know a little about everything. Many can repair a vehicle without ever being a mechanic, solve a computer problem without ever studying technology, or remodel a bathroom without ever being a contractor. While others spend, or dare I say waste, their intelligence on experience instead by taking adventurous trips of the mind so-to-speak.

The Sagittarius Darkside

To explain that a bit further, simply take a look at some of those that fall under this sign: Jimi Hendrix, Greg Allman, Keith Richards, Nikki Sixx, Billy Idol, Richard Pryor, Ozzy Osbourne and Jim Morrison. What’s the common thread that’s starting to come to mind as you read through these names? You got it: heavy drug use. Do they enjoy using drugs? Surprisingly, no. But they do enjoy what the drugs have to offer, which is a wild experience. This group o’ fellas likes to jump down the rabbit hole to see what they can see.

And let me tell you, when you've encountered an unprogressed Sagittarius man, you’re in for a real ride so hang on tight – or better yet, jump ship. The depths that these types of Sagittarius males will sink into is generally beyond our realms. They’ll dip into territories that honestly, you don’t want to be in. Don’t believe me? Read Nikki Sixx’s book, “The Heroin Diaries” and then come back and tell me what you think about his adventures. Chances are, these aren't the types of experiences that you bargain for when dating, unless you’re an absolute fool.

Pair up with a Sagittarius man like this and you’ll be like Dorothy from The Wizard of Oz – trying to follow the yellow brick road home. All the while, he’ll be trying to pull you down into those depths with him. This type of Sagittarius man loves nothing more than to corrupt. But you see, he does not view exposing you to these experiences as corruption. Rather, he views himself as an honorable tour guide on a wild ride and he’s looking for a partner, a gal pal, to jump on board so he can show you things you've never seen before. You see, Jupiter, his planetary ruler, the planet of expansion, is skewing his view. He thinks he’s expanding your world in a positive manner by introducing you to experiences other guys wouldn't dare and in his mind, this makes him a special kinda guy.

"Stick with me babe and I’ll show you things you've never seen before.”

Run Toto, run.

The drama, the surprises, the sheer shock and pain that this type of Sagittarius male can, and will, bring into your life could honestly change it forever. Much like Alice who, during her trip down the rabbit hole in Wonderland – found that she came back to real life afterwards forever altered.

The unprogressed Sagittarius male motto has to be, “I’ll try anything – TWICE.”

This Sagittarius man isn't necessarily the type to learn from his mistakes as they find the experience in and of itself quite gratifying. It doesn't seem to matter if it all ended up a complete and total disaster as the outcome isn't what was important – the overall experience is what it was all about. This Sagittarius man tends to enjoy having been to places where others fear to tread.

Sagittarius Enlightenment

This brings me to the other end of the spectrum, to the enlightened or progressed Sagittarius male. And ladies, this type of Sagittarius man can be a real catch as he seems to highly value the experience of achievement. There’s nothing this man won’t conquer and win and spending time with this type of Sagittarius male can expose you to some of the most wonderful, enlightening moments of your life.

My father is this type of Sagittarius man. There’s nothing he won’t tackle and beat down into submission. A leaky faucet, a squeaky wheel, a computer problem, a broken electronic – you name it. It doesn’t matter if he’s ever encountered it before. He will research and educate himself, another nod to that higher mind, to no end to achieve success and successful he will be. This type of Sagittarius man is a good provider and a loyal spouse and places value on success.

Here are a few examples of the enlightened Sagittarius male: C.S. Lewis, Winston Churchill, Mark Twain, Walt Disney, Harry Chapin and Stephen Spielberg. As you can see, this is a group of great minds – visionaries and writers.

Dating this type of Sagittarius male can be a real joy. They are true gentlemen, they’ll always pick up the tab and they’ll be proud that you’re accompanying them. They open doors, literally and metaphorically, and will lift you up in life. This type of Sagittarius man cares. He cares what you think and he cares about whether or not you’re having a good time. You’ll hear this Sagittarius man asking, “Are you having fun” quite often and checking in with you periodically throughout the date to make sure that you continue to have a good time.

And if you’re not, he’ll quickly change it up (a nod to his mutable, changeable quality) to steer it in a positive direction again.

Sagittarius Male in a Nutshell

You see, when it comes to the Sagittarius male, a lot of it has to do with experiences, good or bad. This sign has a love of adventure and many enjoy a good degree of risk taking. Those nut jobs that you see base jumping off bridges or into deep canyons, many of those men are in the ranks of the Sagittarius.

These are mavericks that can appear reckless at times. A Sagittarius man’s displays of affection are over the top in love and relationships and they will always be the man in the room unafraid to approach the beautiful woman that the other men are intimidated by. Most times, you’ll find this happy go lucky chap leading with humor to win the ladies over and limitations do not exist in the Sagittarius man’s world.

Whether you’ve encountered the unprogressed or the more progressed Sagittarius male, both wish to turn his mate into an equal of himself - it’s a gal pal that this breed seeks. And if a Sagittarius male should happen to encounter a failure, he will harness the energy of the experience and channel it into his driving force. Inflicting an emotional wound on the archer will only cause him to think, “I’ll just have to do it better next time.”

But ladies, be prepared for some antics, especially when dealing with the darker of the two. Disappearing acts and bold faced lies, this one doesn’t like to answer to people. He’s on his own trip here and if you can’t take the heat, get outta the kitchen. And if you’re in the kitchen and the heat is getting to you, don’t bother complaining as it will have no bearing whatsoever on his experience or the path he’s currently on. “What do you mean? You’re not having fun?” They’re horrible liars but they do it anyway because confrontation sends them reeling as does a stagnant situation. And when it comes to dealing with reality – what the hell is that? This one’s always living in his own little utopia and it won't matter if you view it as his own private hell.

And when it comes to dating, if you’re the type of woman that likes doing her own thing, that’ll do just fine as many Sagittarius men need their space to drift off into from time to time. “You do your thing, I’ll do mine and we’ll meet at nine.”

Just make sure that you’re the one they’re circling back to. The unprogressed Sagittarius male can be especially sketchy, so be forewarned, secrets will abound and there won’t be just a few. You’ll find that many of them are quite shocking to be honest.

Imagine the sign of Sagittarius like a tree, with beautiful green lush life thriving above the ground, and a dark, tangled, dank web of roots underneath - the dark and the light. I’ve had some of the most absolutely miserable dating experiences of my life with Sagittarius men who drove me nuts – and I’ve had some of the most wonderful experiences, too.

My advice to you: when faced with a Sagittarius male, do your homework. Don’t dive in head first. Size this one up and figure out which one you’re dealing with first - the dark or the light. Trust me here, ladies. Take your time, ask lots of questions and listen closely to the answers or you could be one of those women on an episode of “Who the Bleep Did I Marry.” You saw the light and you thought you won yourself an awesome catch. Everyone in your family said, “What a great guy!” Then one day, the earth cracked and you found yourself in a quagmire of lies, deceit and shocking secrets. That’s when those around you will be whispering, “But I thought he was such a nice guy!”

You see, the Sagittarius male is dying to experience life to its fullest in every aspect of the word. With these chaps, anything goes and most times - Sagittarius male goes right along with it.

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Unknown said...

Hi Mirror! I am currently dating a Sag man. I am a 44 y/o cancer woman. I have known him since the 4th grade. We had no contact with each other over the years.Then one day out of the blue 2009 he called me said he got my number from a mutual friend. He told me he thought about me all those years. I was in a noncommittal relationship at the time so I agreed to go out with him.I must say it was very hot and steamy. We did not have sex but almost and we were outside at a waterfall.Anyway everyday after he would text me every morning "Good morning Sunshine" I was very smitten by him. Until one day a friend of mine realized that the amazing guy I was raving about was the same guy that was texting her "good morning sunshine". Literally all the sweet things he was saying to me he was saying to her. Since we were not in a relationship me and my friend laughed it off and decided to play with him. We started to deliberately say the exact same thing whenever the other talked to him.This lasted until I got bored and decided to tell him the Jig was up. Also I found out that he had a live in girlfriend. He was astounded when he found out what we were up to even took us both out for drinks and we all laughed about it, but after that because I am a cancer I decided never to talk to him again because I thought he was sweet and sincere and that was a lie. I got married in 2010 and once a month for 4 years he would inbox me on Facebook and check up on me.In 2014 I got divorced and I told him, he told me that he felt sorry how our last encounter ended and wanted a chance to make it up. I was in Nursing School and didn't have time nor did I believe him,but he was very consistent. In 2016 I finally decided to take him up on his offer and went out on a date with him and from that day on he has been very consistent. He shows and tells me he loves me and that I am his future.He just had a birthday and I didn't have money, but I did a lot to make his body special and he teared up at the effort I gave. He doesn't really have a lot of time I complain a little. Sometimes he breaks dates, but he always calls and gives me a good enough explanation. He texts me every morning for the past 9 months. He checks on me throughout the day and always let's me know he makes it to work. If I need anything he gets it for me and he doesn't make a lot of money. I'm a cancer so I need time and affection. But I think because of maturity and experience I know you can't get what you want always. Sometimes he can be a little distant... Just a little. He told me that if he is ever doing any thing that bothers me to talk to him about it and not just go silent because he might not know and so I do always very calm. We talk things out. I really never call him only because I want to know that his pursuit and feelings are real and he never fails to call sometimes its 3 or 4 times a day and sometimes just once on the days its just once I always feel neglected but I never tell him that.Because of our finances we don't get to spend a lot of time together, but I definitely feel the love. Only thing is reading these comments I'm scared he's going to get bored and drop me like a bad habit.lately I've been feeling the need to step back a little. Need a little advice...Thanks in advance

Anonymous said...

I'm the same sign as you, and he was the sag. Note I said WAS everything was good for a while then all of a sudden no more texts, are calls from him. I have the same qualities as you.
What happen ?

Caramel said...

Omg! This is so true and it's exactly what happened to me. Despite all the promises this sadge guy made to me; no matter how hard it was for him to leave me after his wife died from cancer, he still left. Made a million excuses not to be with me. He said he has to raise his daughter "alone". Made me feel like a piece of shit. I cried for years! & sometimes I still cry. This man made a point to ruin me and leave me. Divide and conquer, that was the goal. I wish I read this post before I started f***ing with this nut job!

Unknown said...

i literally feel like I just read an exact description of the guy ive lately been texting with, but have not met yet. he is most definitely of the DARK SIDE and I now am affirmed that I should run toto RUN!!

Heer said...

Hi Aphrodite..what u are doing is wonderful.. It has been a mans works for a long time and now it is changing to woman's world..so men MUST learn to learn to worship women as that is how cycles of the wheel have turned and for long men have been worshipped..and now women have gained power and are powerful enough to make a man her equal or even her subordinate because that's called turn of the cycle and it always happens.. Of course we mite see another turn of cycle in next 50990 years where men again gain power so it's all in d cycles of universe u see..so men should now look at women thru different eyes not like the pre 19 the century era..and this blog is not abt man vs women it's an eye opener for the real strong woman to not fall prey to overly dominating men and avoid power struggles thereby making decent choices and having peaceful relations because that is my personal experience after reading this blog

Anonymous said...

I've dated three Aries men and am sorry to say that, based on my personal experience, they are among the most shallow boring men I've been involved with. I just could not feel that lasting chemistry with any of them. On the other hand, I've been always impressed by the exciting layers and meaningful depth sag men brought into the relation....have also been with three archers. I'm a Pisces sun Gemini ascending btw.

Unknown said...

Omg I totally relate to your story! I met a sagittarian man, 4 months ago, he is 52 and I am 30... I get the "good morning beautiful" texts and somehow I feel like he could be saying the same to other girls... I am a cancer also and I do feel the need of affection. I really like him but scares me that he may not be serious and I'm wasting my time and feelings on him (?) I hope it goes well for you. My very best wishes. XO

Unknown said...

As a enlightened sagattarius male you hit it right on the head you couldn't be any truer about your words.

Notnicee said...

Hi Mirror Taurus Sister here.

Your page is priceless,your article,the comments...well done!

I hope some more Sag guys will open up here and give some advice for us torro torro chicks.

Mirror,what are your thoughts about a Taurus Sun female with lots and lots of fire in her chart. My dominant signs are 1.Aries 2.Leo 3. Sag plus a Gemini Mars. Uffff
I am dating a Sun Sagi with Scorpio Mars and Venus in Capricorn,sadly he doesn't know his birth time but we both have Neptune and Uranus in Sag as well.

By the way I low key envy you for having all that fire in your family ;)
I have to deal with Virgo/Cap/and way too many Scorpios:)

I have a mad thing for Scorpios but like to act more airy and try the Sag thing,it's going well with us but I think if a Scorpio would come around I would go and hunt him down :p

All the Love to you

The Mirror of Aphrodite said...

@Moon & Moon,
"Mirror, what are your thoughts about a Taurus Sun female with lots and lots of fire in her chart."

Well, I'm one of them LOL. Taurus female, 4 planets in Aries ;-)

And I've found that even being a "boring" Earth sign, I get along pretty well with other fire signs. But when I say "well," I won't lie - that includes me telling it like it is with them.

BUT -- I've found they rather enjoy that "bantering" type of relationship LOL.

Careful with them Scorps, they're rather INTENSE ;-)

Anonymous said...

My experience with a married SAG was a nightmare. I started a new job and he instantly wanted to be my "friend", came over a lot, started making me feel really special by waiting at the door in the morning, bringing chocolates, flowers. I fell for him hard and found it hard to disengage.

He did not mention he was married for the longest time. After someone at work asked "did you know he was married", I then asked and he was honest about it, saying he was unhappy with the wife but had made such an emotional investment and has kids, that he won't leave.

So we got texting outside the office. No meetups and he never came on to me sexually (I am thinking because it was a work situation and he was being cautious). It was just a bunch of "boring" texting but I think he thrived on the attention he was getting. After 6 months of this (yea way too long!) I felt really cheated that he was expecting me to be there at his beck and call for texting but never made any real investment of his time, like taking me to lunch or having a simple coffee.

I tried to break away from him many times but he kept sweet talking me and I had developed a bond with him over that 6 month period. Recently, I just got fed up and told myself I deserve to be thought of as more than a "backbench" woman. I told my manager at work about the whole situation as I was being disciplined for performance issues. Mostly this was because I was obsessed with him all the time, couldn't sleep and started making errors. He was supportive and actually went to his manager to ask that he not come into our department unless it is for a business reason. Even then after that he "pinged" me by text. I did not respond.

These guys are smooth operators and will make you feel you are beautiful with all sorts of compliments and texting attention. I have gone NC with him and he hasn't reached out either. The only way to get this jerk out of my life is to ignore him.

Mirror, we work in the same office (different departments) and I see him every day. He walks by with a big grin on his face trying to lure me back in. How can I detach from this? Should I simply get a new job? Help!


The Mirror of Aphrodite said...

"I just got fed up and told myself I deserve to be thought of as more than a "backbench" woman."

There's another term that's used in work situations, when there's a platonic relationship between the opposite sexes - a "work wife."

"How can I detach from this? Should I simply get a new job?"

The choice is yours. You are in control of your destiny.

Whatever you decide is best for yourself, remember this -- this man was never available to you from day one. And at the point you actually discovered he was married, that was made known to you. It was also made known to you at that time that this man was not being entirely honest with you.

Let's face it - a wife and kids is a pretty big thing to hide from someone.

That's no small oversight. It's actually called a "lie by omission." He did not tell an outright lie, but he omitted the truth which is just as bad.

He intended to deceive you. And in doing so, he was manipulating you emotionally. He did not think of you or how that might make you feel once you discovered his deceit. He only thought of himself and his own needs (for admiration and ego boost).

All of the above says a lot about this man's character dear, and none of it is good. He may seem nice enough, and I'm sure for the most part, he is nice.

But you CANNOT OVERLOOK his actions towards you - and towards others.

Do you think it would make his wife feel good to know what he's been up to? Do you think it would make his kids feel good? Or his extended family and in-laws? This man has behaved carelessly with regards to everyone close to him, and that tells you a lot about him.

Trust would be broken. Doubt would be cast. Disappointment would be felt. New questions would arise. And a slew of negativity would wash into all of their lives.

And this man could care less.

That should be a HUGE WARNING to you about this man. If you're finding trouble detaching, think about all of the negative things I just stated above. This man took part in deceiving you and all of those around him, comfortably, and without concern.

Is that REALLY the kind of man a woman longs for in a life partner? No, it's not.

And there are more ways to "cheat" on your partner that just sexually. There is such a thing as an "emotional affair." Either way, it's still a betrayal to a spouse and family. It's a betrayal of trust.

Cont. . .

The Mirror of Aphrodite said...

So when you find yourself longing for him, think about this instead. There's an old saying, "If he'll cheat WITH you, he'll cheat ON you." If this man emotionally betrayed his wife and children by conducting an emotional affair with another woman at work. . .he'd be completely okay with doing the same exact thing if he were with you.

Imagine how you'd feel if he were YOUR husband, you built a life and had children together, and you found out he's been secretly texting another woman at work for months without ever telling you about her. Whether sex was involved or not - wouldn't you feel deeply betrayed by this? Wouldn't you start to question everything he's ever told you? Wouldn't you start to doubt the strength of your marriage? Wouldn't you worry that he was going to leave you eventually? Wouldn't you worry that he was going to do the same exact thing with someone else again in the future?

Wouldn't you wonder just how many OTHER women he's conducting himself like this with, or how many other women he has already conducted himself like this with in the past?

The situation would create a landslide of negative consequences.

When you find yourself longing for him, think about those things instead of the few good experiences you had with him. Don't day dream about a future with a man like this. He's not exactly the type of man every woman wishes for in a spouse, and his loyalty is seriously questionable.

Stay firmly footed in the REALITY of what he's done to you and his own family, and let go of the ILLUSION he's sold you on. The reality is real. The illusion is just a bunch of fake nonsense and hollow words that evaporate once they're spoken.

Anonymous said...

This actually helped me so much i recentlty hanged out with a sag and he was very generous but he was also quiet and ignored me sometimes which remnined me of my little brother whos a sag and soes the same thing which i find to be incredibly annoying welll we climbed this tree together and hiked, thats all we discussed on doing but then he takes me to his house? i go with the flow so i went along and then he started being touchy which i was fine with but he keeps his thoughts to himself so much I didnt even realize he was attracted to me well we ended up making out but he was trying to take it up a notch and i had to reject him because it was our first time hanging out i was just so confused and then before he dropped me off he made plans to see me agian help my hand kissed me , he was so affectionate! next comes and hes vannished so idk what went wrong

Anonymous said...

Met this SAG guy at work and he proceeded to chase me. After several months of texting, he finally asked me out in the evenings after work. I just assumed he was single due to his "bachelor like" courting.

We normally go for coffee and then either hang out at the beach, in the park or at a pub. He talked a lot about his childhood and friends/family and also asked me lots of questions. I thought - great - he wants to get to know me first. Later on first night he started hugging me and wanted to make out. I did up to a point but then put up some boundaries by saying "no" to going further. He was totally ok with this. I thought we were really connected intellectually and physically connected, lots in common, easy to be with. During the following weeks we went further with the making out but did not actually sleep together.

So this continued in the evenings for a month afterwards. I started to feel something weird in my gut one night when in the park he said he saw his brother's van drive by. He was concerned about being seen. ??? Red flag for me right away. He said oh, I don't want anyone I know to see me as my "wife" could find out. What? I was horrified. After all this time and getting attached to him, he suddenly drops this bomb!

He proceeded to tell me he hasn't been close to his wife for a long time and is looking for a warm connection with a woman. No mention of divorcing/separating either! I was pissed out to say the least. Told him we can't continue given the new information. He was distraught and said he had become super attached to me and asked me to still see him - even just as a friend.

I also think he makes up stories too. Said I thought it was odd his brother would be driving through the park that late at night, given that he lives about a 40 min drive away. The next day I asked him about it and he said his brother drives a very unique collector car so he knew it was him on the road. But the night before he said it was a van! Different story. All he said in answer to it was "my brother doesn't have a van", no other explanation.

Mirror does he sound like a sociopath? He is such a gentleman, soft spoken, helpful, generous. Is it all an act? How come it took this long for me to see a crack in his armour?

I feel humiliated.!

The Mirror of Aphrodite said...

@Anonymous May 1, 9:57 PM,
"He is such a gentleman, soft spoken, helpful, generous. Is it all an act?"

Obviously it is - he's married, and he withheld that from you. He betrayed your trust, and his intent was to deceive you.

Just because he's charming doesn't mean he's a great guy. Clearly he's not. (Ted Bundy was a charming man and he ended up being a serial killer that hated women and enjoyed thier prolonged suffering.) Yes, he's betrayed you and your trust. But you're strong and you'll move on from that with a lesson learned. However, his wife won't get off so easy. This man's behavior is going to bring her a world of pain someday and literally destroy her life as she knows it :-(

Once someone deceives you and betrays you, there's really no going back. You cannot trust them, not even as a friend, to handle your heart with care and have your best interests in mind.

When you're dealing with someone whose intention was to deceive you, you should expect to be deceived by them again. Their intention was to "use" you for some purpose (to fulfill some selfish need they had), all at the expense of you and your feelings. (People like this don't care about your feelings. All they care about is the selfish fulfillment of their own needs.)

If you decide to proceed with someone that's deceived you, in spite of what you already know to be true about them. . .then you'll have no one to blame but yourself when they do it to you again :-(

Don't let that be you.

This man is STILL LYING TO YOU. ". . .he said his brother drives a very unique collector car, so he knew it was him on the road. But the night before he said it was a van!"

You're not crazy. And he probably never even thought he saw his brother. That was likely a lie, which is why he can't keep his story straight. I imagine it was just a convenient little stunt to announce that he's married.

Cont. . .

The Mirror of Aphrodite said...

You're dealing with a deceitful person that's attempting to manipulate you. And now he's trying to "gas light" you in order to make you think you're crazy -- so that you'll give him the benefit of doubt. (Doubt that he's creating in an attempt to confuse and, thereby, weaken you). Gas lighting is to:

"manipulate (someone) by psychological means into questioning their own sanity."

As in, "Look! It's a van, it's a car - no wait, it's Superman!"

He ticks off the first two warning signs of gas lighting here immediately: https://www.psychologytoday.com/us/blog/here-there-and-everywhere/201701/11-warning-signs-gaslighting

1. They tell blatant lies. ("he said he saw his brother's van drive by")
2. They deny they ever said something, even though you have proof. ("my brother doesn't have a van")
3. They use what is near and dear to you as ammunition.
4. They wear you down over time.
5. Their actions do not match their words.
6. They throw in positive reinforcement to confuse you.
7. They know confusion weakens people.
8. They project. (They are a drug user or a cheater, yet they are constantly accusing you of that.)
9. They try to align people against you.
10. They tell you or others that you are crazy.

You're at stage 2 with this man right now. If you proceed with him even just as a friend, you can expect him to take you for a ride through stages 3 to 10.

Run away from this man and don't look back. He's got nothing to offer you but trouble.

"How come it took this long for me to see a crack in his armor?"

We're not psychics and hindsight is 20/20. You live and you learn. It's very normal and the way it should be (so that the valuable lesson is imparted to you). None of us are immune to that. So don't beat yourself up over it, you're not alone there :-)

Looking back though, this man never really took you on a formal date. He never took you out for dinner and a night on the town. Instead, he'd participate in casual shorter visits with you. In other words, he wasn't "investing" in you.

When a man is serious about dating a woman and building a relationship with her, it's not just a monetary investment that he makes to prove himself genuine to her. It's also an investment of his time, an investment of his priority, an investment to impress you, an investment emotionally in you, an investment of his energy, etc.

This man didn't check all those boxes. He wasn't "fully invested." He invested only limited blips of his time. He invested very little of his money. He invested virtually nothing into any attempts to impress you. He invested nothing into making you a priority. He didn't invest lots of his energy. . . but he made a fairlysignificant investment into a sexual advance on the first date.

He was doing just enough to get by. He wasn't doing all the things that a man who's genuinely interested in a woman does, in his efforts to win her over and prove himself to her :-(

Fire & Water said...

Tangential comment: I believe the term 'gas lighting' originates from an old movie: Gaslight, with Ingrid Bergman, Charles Boyer and Joseph Cotton. The story defines the term perfectly. I recommend the movie if you like old, black & white flicks - it's excellent :)
Cheers & best wishes to all!
F & W

Anonymous said...

We may have dated the same Sag. It’s got to be Josh in Houston Tx. I swear it’s him. I hope it’s him cos the world will be in deep trouble if there were two of him walking this earth.

This guy is so obsessed with his looks (he looks like a girl but thinks he is hot), he actually has an eating disorder. Skips meals like a teenage girl seeking acceptance for a prom date. Uses laxatives and would go to the gym twice a day. Lol

Typical sag- romantic dinners the whole 9 at first.2 weeks in the douche in him was waiting to explode and explode did it. Literally Went NC on me and when I called Him on his bs, flipped and ‘gaslight’ me. As in people who go apeshiat crazy without provocation are like serial killers/sociopaths in my opinion. I think sags have sociopathy/psychopathy genes in them cos I dont know how one person can embody so much insanity and neither spoon or take ownership of their actions. It loooks like a form of illness to me. I am still worried about the unfortunate girl that will end up with this good for nothing self-absorbed, judgmental , insensitive,insecure and mannerless dipshiat who thinks he is a gift to the earth. At 33 can you believe this idiot stil doesn’t have a couch to himself? Always squatting at people’ places looking for a fraction of rent to pay. Refusing to be a grown responsible guy. But spends a ton gambling at casinos.Selfish for days too. Gosh this guy can’t hide his selfishness even to save his own soul. Who is this guy and where did he come from? Hahah. Always claiming that girls are crushing on him and want him but then he is low key enjoys the attention. Oh and the crap he talks about his friends behind their back? Hahahha. As In He calls his buddy an insecure snitch but the following weekend he is Vegas with same buddy getting wasted . Never trust a person who talks baldly to you About their friend who is not your friend cos they will talk badly to their friends who is not your friend about you.

Anonymous said...

Hi Mirror,
I had a nightmare experience trying to date an older Sag man. In the beginning he was very attentive & communicative. We went out often but they weren't real dates in my mind. Free things like walking in park, near lakes, coffee houses or window shopping. We were friends for the most part but then it got physical and passionate. Hes very shy about showing his "equipment" which is odd for a man his age.

He did a 180 and started disappearing,randomly replying to texts or not at all. I was in constant state of anxiety thinking he was seeing other women. He would all of a sudden brag in my face about how many texts he has to read or another time saying it was a friend, not elaborating further.

Fed up and exhausted, I dumped him without closure or explanation. It was a Dr Jekkyl & Hyde situation. Guy was wasting my time.

Have you heard of Sags being stalkers? Now I see him suddenly appearing across a street from me just staring. Another time he all of a sudden came into a convenience store with his bike. Next, it was him outside my condo building without being invited.

He hasn't even been in contact by text or phone. This is very weird behavior. Now I'm stressed out again just when I was getting over him.

Anonymous said...

I am a younger Scorpio female married to a Sagittarius male who is 10+ older than me. We started off as really good friends. He opened up to me unlike any other friend he has. He is a very charming and outgoing person, but noticed he can be flaky. Not very good at planning either. We were very good friends (I called him my BFF) for at least 3 years. I was always intrigued/attracted by him, not in a sexual way, but wanting to always spend time with him. Despite our age gap, we have many similarities. He was also my go-to when I had male issues. I've never considered anything romantic with him, since it was such a good friend (also due to age gap... my nickname for him was Papa). Anywho, fast forward 3-4 years later and a couple romantic relationships after, I would say he started to pursue me. However, he was also pursuing my friend! We then were involved in a relationship, but granted, we were both still partying and hanging out with other people, more for me to make him jealous since he seemed to be entertaining other females (in my perspective). Anywho, it was bringing me down a dark path and our romantic relationship became toxic to me, since I am the type of person to want commitment and no gray area in my relationships; boundaries need to be set when in a relationship. I told him that I can no longer be in a relationship with him since it is not suiting to what I want (clear black and white commitment)...

Anywho, I told him we need to cool off and not see each other for a little bit if we were to maintain our friendship. I am a Christian and really gave my heart to God at this time and prayed him out of my life, romantically, and for healing. I was living my single life, and a couple of weeks later, he messaged me again saying he wanted to talk. We talked and I guess we cemented a committed relationship? Anywho, he was more transparent with me, and I with him. We tried our best to remain committed and not play games with each other. We still hung out with friends of the opposite sex, but made sure we are both comfortable with it.

Fast forward, we have a six year old, and also been married for six years, 3 years friends first, 4 friends in a committed relationship, overall been together (mix of the above) for 13 years.

I have not seen any message boards with a positive outlook for a Scorpio female and Sagittarius male relationship. It is true that, like what many others have said, it has been exhausting, but seriously, what relationship is easy? A relationship involves two different people, and like a dance, have to learn to move with each other to keep the dance going. What has been working (so far) is for myself, praying and putting God first, when I feel like letting go of the relationship, I get on my knees and pray for His guidance on our marriage. And like all relationships, to go back to what brought us together in the first place. We do not hold anything in, and tell each other EVERYTHING. Also, we are okay that we are not together all the time. We still have our own lives, friends, and interests, outside of our relationship, and we are ok with that. I think if a lot of relationships prioritize their commitment first, put God in it, and the requirements to keep your self-image healthy, relationships will work, no matter what sign you are.

Anonymous said...

Nothing to do with peaches n cream description.... I read most of your post and I have to hold back and look at Aries because I thought I was the one tripping... it was all bad them you went and added a dark side section. I was laughing cause it was all dack sided. I was wondering why put a dark aside section in a post that was already all darks idea lol. You have to be able to a take constructive criticism. It's all love but it's obvious that you have biases towards certain Zodics

The Mirror of Aphrodite said...

@Anonymous Dec 30, 2021, 10:02 PM,

"I was wondering why put a dark aside section in a post that was already all dark"

I guess you missed the section titled Sagittarius Enlightenment.

"You have to be able to a take constructive criticism."

Agreed. But your criticism isn't constructive - because it's not factual.

"It's all love ..."

Wrong. It's not all love. I mentioned family and friends in this article as well.

"... it's obvious that you have biases towards certain Zodiacs."

I shared the dark side as well as the enlightened side in two separate sections. It's not my fault that you didn't read the entire article.

"I read most of your post"

Next time, read the entire article before wasting time commenting.

Anonymous said...

I had the worst experiences ever with Sag’s. They really need to leave the Earth signs alone. It won’t last long, that’s for sure! The first one chased me around even though I had a boyfriend but nope, not scared of that at all and even though he was the only one the Universe seemed to be warning me about, I went out with him after my boyfriend and I broke up. Pure Heaven and then 8 months later, the grass must be greener somewhere else. He just took off one day, never even said goodbye. I was in pure hell.

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