"Mirror, Mirror on the wall . . . where did he go, and why doesn't he call?"

Why You Should Never Text Nude Images

I know that many folks think very little of providing the milk for free while the cow remains up for sale these days.

But let's face it, when you don't respect yourself and you're out there giving yourself away for free, how then can you expect others to respect you, and commit to you in spite of that disrespect you treat yourself with?

People want what they can't have folks. You know that new tech gadget that's released during the holidays, but only a limited quantity is available - and everyone just HAS to have it, searches high and low for it, gets on waiting lists to possibly receive one...and then spends months after the holidays seeking one out? Do you know why that is, why people do that?

Because it's in our psyche to want what we can't have. It's psychological human behavior to highly value things we have to work hard for. When people are standing on the street corner, giving away thousands of the same item for free in droves and the surrounding streets are littered with them, do you value that item? Or do you turn around and immediately throw it in the trash, drop it on the ground or give it away to someone else?

The same psychological principle applies to your body folks. When you give it away for free, you immediately decrease it's value to others. When something is readily available in large quantities, it's not highly valued. It's no prize to receive. Instead, it's taken for granted and quickly disposed of.

In economics, such as that "latest, greatest tech gadget," it's called the Law of Scarcity.

Manufacturers are using this tactic on you everyday, without you even knowing it. They know that this law is a fundamental law of human existence - and it works. They know that the more people desire something, the harder it is to acquire...the greater the lengths people will go to, to actually acquire it. And not only that, they also know that it's a fact that once this very rare, elusive, highly valued item is finally acquired, it will be cherished by the owner because of the lengths they had to go to, to actually receive it.

And if knowing all of that about human behavior and psychology doesn't convince you not to give yourself away for free - then maybe this will.

An Eye-Opening Study

A study conducted by Avast, a security software tech company, uncovered the real truth about what's on your phones - even after you wipe them. And the findings were more eye-opening than any of the embarrassing images they found.

Avast purchased 20 used Android phones from eBay that were reset and wiped by previous owners. After running readily available recovery software that just about anybody has access to, the following was recovered:
  • 750+ images of nude women.
  • 250+ images of nude men and male "manhood." (Notice women are sending 3x the amount of nude images versus men.)
  • 1,500 images of children.
  • 750 emails and texts.
  • 40,000 photos.
  • The complete identities of up to 4 previous owners of the devices.
  • 1,000 google searches.
  • A complete loan application.

Need I say more?

The ramifications of this could quite possibly be endless. A potential employer searching the Net for you could find these images (remember, your name could be recovered as well), they could make their way to Facebook and social media, they could make their way to free porn sites, family and friends may find them online, they could end up published in a print publication, some random dude online could see them, like what he sees, get your name and stalk you down - hell, you could even be blackmailed when you find yourself running for Congress one day.

And if you just cannot help yourself, for whatever reason, and you insist on exhibiting self-destructive behavior, at the very least - at the very least - don't include your face in these images folks. And cover up those identifiable birth marks while you're at it. . .

This girl, unfortunately, did NOT do that - and she accidentally sent it to dear old dad - (Instagram video clip) oops:

Her dad is right - it's called Twitter - not Titter, folks.

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MondayGirl said...

Honestly, I totally see your point; however, with that special someone it's really good foreplay

The Mirror of Aphrodite said...

@Anonymous May 22, 2:20PM,
"it's really good foreplay"

You know what else is really good foreplay?

Touching each other -- in the real world.

Foreplay leads to a physical sexual encounter. It's the lead in that comes before the physical encounter, hence the use of "fore."

When you're in the virtual world, there IS NO PHYSICAL ENCOUNTER. It leads to nothing.

Generally speaking, the ones that really benefit from this in terms of physical pleasure are men. Which is why they're generally the one's that are asking for nude images from just about every woman they meet nowadays. Like as if they're entitled to see a woman nude before they even bother to ask what her last name is.

For woman, participation in this can lead to embarrassment, shame, social media publication, publication on amateur porn sites geared towards revenge, mass mailing to friends and family. . .because your special someone can turn into a betrayer overnight.

Breakups happen all the time. Lovers turn sour all the time.

If you weigh the risk versus reward. . .I don't see much reward in this for women -- but I do see a whole lot of risk for them.

Huge Fan said...

A guy I just started chatting to, texted me a picture of his hard on in his boxers, as a joke. I responded that 'I think he's got the wrong impression of me' he said it was a joke. How should i proceed? from HUGE FAN

The Mirror of Aphrodite said...

"A guy I just started chatting to, texted me a picture of his hard in his boxers. . .How should i proceed?"

You shouldn't proceed - at all. (Unless you're simply looking for some fun and not a real relationship.)

That's a big red flag warning. His actions are telling you that this is not a man seeking a real relationship with a woman. He's seeking sex and nothing more.

A man seeking a real relationship with a woman would NEVER disrespect her in this manner by assuming that she's "easy" and nothing more than a sexual object meant solely for his entertainment and enjoyment.

A man seeking a real relationship would spend his time getting to know the woman. He wouldn't waste his time insulting her only to potentially scare her away.

This was no joke either. It was a TEST. A test to see if you're a loose, "easy" girl, because it's obvious that's what he's seeking. He only said it was a joke because you called him on his bad, disrespectful behavior.

Men like this will hurt you. They will PRETEND they want a relationship with you, only to use that to lure you into bed with them.

Then once they've done so, they'll take the first silly opportunity that comes along (i.e. a minor argument) to "break up" with you (even though they never considered themselves in a relationship with you in the first place).

Then they'll move onto their next conquest, potentially leaving you heartbroken and feeling terrible about yourself (for falling for their crap).

I just saw a FANTASTIC video rant on Facebook today about this topic, delivered by none other than a man himself. Check it out and have a laugh LOL:


Because the next step for this man you're dealing with is to actually send you one of these ;-)

HUGE FAN said...

Thankyou for sharing the Dic pic video, it's brilliant!! I sent it to him. Let's hope he learns something. Haha!!
Thankyou for your wisdom Mirror of Aphrodite, your absolutely right as always, once he realized i wasn't that kind of girl, he's gone very quiet and disappeared.

Anonymous said...

Hi Mirror,

I recently started texting a guy off of the internet and as we progressed and had a few days he started asking for photos. I sent him some (unfortunately) and now he asks on a regular basis.

Since then I’ve pulled back and haven’t given him any photos and told him I wasn’t going to send him anymore because I knew what guys could and probably would do with them.

He tried to reassure me he was “selfish” and didn’t want to share any of my phots because he “earned them”. What does that mean?

Before our video call ended I ended up telling him, so he’d get off my back about it, to send me some of his photos if he wanted to exchange pictures that badly. He did and I just said something along the lines of he was a good looking guy and for him to have a good night.

I really needed to sleep that night and so wanted to get off the line as quickly as possible. He ended up texting me but I haven’t opened it because I was kinda upset with myself and with him. I also knew it got under his skin when I ignore him to an extent.

Anyway, haven’t heard from him and he decided to stay in his small town instead of meeting up with me from our tentative plans.

Do I open his message and respond? He probably knows I’m yanking his chains on purpose.

The Mirror of Aphrodite said...

@Anonymous Mar 11, 11:26 PM
"I sent him some (unfortunately) and now he asks on a regular basis."

Before I say this, I just want to make it very clear that I'm not trying to make you feel bad about yourself -- I'm saying this to HELP you understand why it actually HARMS a woman's ability to enter into a real relationship with the man.

So understand that what I'm about to say is to HELP, not hurt :-)

First, it's important to understand that a lot of these men asking for pictures are simply seeking free porn. They're not seeking relationships. Men seeking relationships don't ask women to devalue themselves like this. They would not risk offending the woman.

So there's that. Men asking for nude images = men seeking sex (not relationships).

Which means if you want a relationship, you don't waste time on the men seeking sex and objectifying you by asking for nude images.

Second, don't devalue yourself. Seeing you nude and having access to your body is something SPECIAL. And it should only be reserved for men that have proved themselves worthy, and have real emotional feelings for you. YOU ARE SPECIAL. As such, you do NOT need to show your nude body to receive a man's attention. Your mind and your personality and your confidence are JUST AS ATTRACTIVE to REAL GENTLEMEN. So there's no need to do that in order to get male attention.

If you want a real relationship, you need to follow the path that leads to one. If you want a friends w/benefits situation that leads to sex, then you follow the path that leads you there. But they are two entirely DIFFERENT paths. I often liken it to boarding an airplane.

So think of it like this. . .

(Cont below)

The Mirror of Aphrodite said...

Let's say you want to go to Arizona. In order to reach that destination, you need to be on the proper flight - one that is heading there. You can't board a flight to Ireland and expect to land in Arizona.

Having said that, if you want a real committed relationship - you have to follow the path that leads there. You can't take the path that leads to a friends w/benefits situation and expect to land in a committed relationship.

And the paths are different. . .

Friends w/benefits (FWB) path = Starts out quick and fast and is loaded with sexual energy. The getting to know you stage is skipped over entirely and the two head straight for the sexual stage. They don't know each other well and don't care to. They're simply seeking to fulfill sexual needs - not emotional ones.

Committed relationship path = Starts out slow and rather mundane. The two spend a fair amount of time getting to know one another by asking questions, spending time together and treating one another respectfully, with each on their best behavior trying to impress the other so that they can be taken seriously as a potential mate. They care about one another and they are seeking to fulfill one another's emotional needs. At a later stage, they will express their emotions for one another physically (via sex).

One path is sex without emotion (FWB). The other is expression of emotion via sex (relationship).

So depending on where you want to land - either in a FWB situation or a relationship - you MUST take the PROPER path that will lead to the destination you want to reach from DAY ONE. If you do not, and you devalue yourself in the man's eyes and signal to him that you're only in it for sex. . .then that's exactly how he'll treat you from that day forward. It will be very difficult to get him to take you seriously as a potential mate once you've crossed that line.

"He tried to reassure me he was “selfish” and didn’t want to share any of my phots because he “earned them”. What does that mean?"

It's a line of crap. It's pure BS. He hasn't earned anything at all. He hasn't lifted a finger for you. He never even bothered to meet you in person. I wouldn't believe a single word of it. Not one.

"Do I open his message and respond?"

That depends on what you want from him.

Do you want a FWB situation? If so - proceed.

Do you want a committed relationship? IF so - don't bother wasting another moment of time on him. (Because he's only in it for free porn on demand and sexual gratification.)

(Cont below)

The Mirror of Aphrodite said...

Lastly, I'll say this. Maybe it will help you decide. If you're dating or speaking to a man and he makes you feel bad about yourself instead of lifting you up and making you feel great about yourself. . .move on and away from him.

Because that's the entire point, right?

We all want to align ourselves with people that lift us up and create positive feelings and emotions about ourselves. No one wants to spend any significant amount of time with someone that makes them feel bad about themselves, or causes negative feelings.

Do his requests make you feel good about yourself? Or do they make you feel bad about yourself and cause negative emotions (i.e. guilt, shame, low confidence, etc.)

If your answer is "yes" then proceed. If your answer is "no" then move on and away from him.

This is probably worth mentioning, too.

Make sure your ACTIONS align with your WORDS. In other words, if you want a relationship, then make sure your actions portray that. If you want a FWB situation, then make sure your actions align with that.

Don't send mixed messages to men.

For example, don't tell them you want a relationship and then participate in exchanging nude images. Because those actions actually signal the exact opposite of a relationship and they won't take you seriously. If you want a relationship, stick to your guns and refuse to participate. And don't be afraid if the man disappears after you do that.

It's one of the best ways a woman can determine if the man is even relationship material that's worthy of dating in the first place. Because the men that don't want that -- will make it easy and do you the favor of disappearing without you having to tell them to buzz off LOL ;-)

Anonymous said...

Hi Mirror,

Thanks for responding, I really appreciate it because I feel sort of scattered at the moment.

Yes, you're right about the entire point which is having the type of person who helps evoke positive emotions and feelings. I truly do want someone to help lift me up and make me feel great about myself and when he does admire me in any way I do feel special. However, when it comes to photos, while I do feel those positive feelings which are also combined with feelings of guilt. This might be why I sent him photos in the past because I liked the way he saw me and complimented me.

In hindsight and with your help, I realize I did send mixed messages and I guess I got what I deserved because he started sending mixed messages as well. I know you said if I devalued myself in the beginning stages then that is how he will see me from that day forward. While difficult, is there any way to turn over a new leaf and demand some respect and change my image in someone's eyes by doing a 360 and boarding the plane to Arizona with him?

The Mirror of Aphrodite said...

@Anonymous Mar 12, 2:46 PM,
"While difficult, is there any way to turn over a new leaf and demand some respect and change my image in someone's eyes by doing a 360 and boarding the plane to Arizona with him?"

Difficult. But not impossible.

But here's what you need to think of first. Is this man even worth it? Is he worth that level of investment into something this difficult?

Here's what I mean by that.

Is this man fulfilling your emotional needs? Because while attention is nice and does make us feel good about ourselves, what's next? Anything? Or is that as far as a man like this will take it? Is he even a man that WANTS something MORE?

Because if you want to turn this around, it may or may not work, and it may or may not be worth it. But it WILL require patience, endurance, and a lot of you sticking to your guns.

And I'll tell you this. When men seeking sexual gratification from a woman, even if visually, are suddenly cut off from getting THEIR NEEDS fulfilled. . .they usually disappear.

They're in it for the free thrills. They don't want anything more. And when the free thrills run out, they move onto the next that will fulfill them. But it rarely goes any further than that. For them, it's about e-maintaining lots of women that are vying for their attention and sending them visual images that provide sexual gratification on a regular basis.

That's all they want. They're not in it for the long haul. They don't want a relationship. If they did, they'd be working towards one.

And I'm not convinced this man is seeking one either :-(

So is he even worth it? How do you know he even wants the same thing? Problem is, you don't know and based on his behavior, it's not looking like that's what he's seeking at this stage in his life.

Anonymous said...

Hi Mirror,

Thank you for helping me clarify which hard questions I need to ask myself should I decide to put forth more effort in investing in him and a potential relationship. So for now, my game plan is to just pull back and see and I will remember what you said about men who seek sexual gratification and keep my expectations low.

You're right, I don't really know if he wants one or not and in the past he did say he had trouble with long term relationships which always seems to haunt me whenever I think of him and the idea of commitment. I might have had my answer all along. Either way, I don't really want to cut ties but I also will start looking out for myself and I appreciate your help in having me see things more clearly. :)

Thank you Mirror!

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