"Mirror, Mirror on the wall . . . where did he go, and why doesn't he call?"

Experiences With An Aries Male

I'm a female Taurus and I'll be honest, every new friend, male or female, I seem to make over the years is . . . you guessed it, an Aries.

It's a funny thing and many say that Aries, in particular, seem to be inexplicably drawn to Taurus folks. Anyone who is versed in mythology knows that Ares (Aries), the God of War, and the Goddess Aphrodite, a.k.a the Goddess Venus (planetary ruler of Taurus), bore a child together - Cupid. Being familiar with the Aries personality, many times I can't help but think it's because they underestimate the Taurus personality and tend to think Taurus is someone who will put up with them - and their giant egos, both male and female.

Anyone who truly knows the Aries personality realizes that I didn't just insult them there. Many an Aries will readily admit that it's all about them and this is especially true for the Aries male.

A previous post about experiences with a Taurus male has generated so much interest and discussion that I thought it'd be fun to explore the world of the Aries. But first, I'd like to note that I'm going to tread into some murky waters here and before all you Aries that are in denial begin to bash me for it, let me just say that I know plenty of wonderful Aries, men and women both. So as you continue to read this, please keep that in mind.

The Aries Male

The Aries male is a "mans man" for sure. A macho type that perceives himself as a knight in shining armor. If you ever hear a damsel in distress wailing for assistance, you can be sure that the men charging towards her are going to mainly consist of the Aries breed. And why is this you ask? My opinion is that it's because of their inflated sense of self. In their mind, if they rescue that damsel, she'll be so thankful for him having done so, she'll place him on that pedestal that he feels he so deserves.

You see, Aries men love nothing more than to be the center of someone's universe. Err, let me correct that. The Aries man loves nothing more than to be the center of - the entire universe. And for those of you close to an Aries male, I'm sure you can agree with that statement and your Aries man, most likely, will too. Aries men carry quite the sense of entitlement and many will readily admit to "deserving" things. Especially anything that they feel they've worked hard for. And work hard they do. The Aries male is no slouch. They like to enjoy the finer things in life and they aren't afraid to work for them. As a result of this tenacity and determination, the Aries man is generally a successful man - and they aren't shy about that. They love to hear themselves talk - about themselves and their successes.

You know the old Charlie Brown cartoons? Remember how it would sound when the teacher would speak? "Wah, wah, wah." That's what the Aries male generally hears when others are speaking - nothing but background noise. But when it comes his turn to steal the floor, and steal the floor they will, the spotlight comes on.

If dating an Aries man, on his good days, you'll encounter quite the gentlemen. He prides himself on this but watch out ladies! Aries men are quite the charmers. He'll be happy to have you by his side, he may lather you up with plenty of wonderful compliments and he'll always pick up the tab. After all, he's "the man." The Aries male will watch out for you, he'll defend your honor, and he'll open doors for you. But there's a price to pay for all of this - and that is that you will be his and only his.

Aries men can go so far with this entitlement behavior that you may find yourself unable to have a friendly conversation with any other male on the planet - ever. Psychopathic behavior and furious rage may ensue and when it does, don't make the mistake of confusing this with jealousy. It's about the competition and beating rivals, it has nothing to do with you. And beware, many an Aries man loves to compete with his best bud for a gal, especially if his best bud really likes her. When this happens, once again, it's not about the gal, it's about the competition. It's simply to prove who the better man is and many Aries men can be downright man-whores.

And ladies, when the Aries male rings your phone, you'd better answer and you'd better make yourself available to him. You could be meeting with the Pope and it wouldn't matter - your Aries man had better come first. These guys need lots of attention, from you and from the rest of the world. You see, he's the superstar in his universe and you'd better be his biggest fan at all times, or someone else will move into your worshipping position and right quick.

And my last point leads me into those murky waters I referenced earlier. What's worse than an Aries not receiving the attention that they feel so deserving of? Absolutely nothing!

Being the first sign of the zodiac, you can liken the Aries personality to the babies of the zodiac. Watching an irritated Aries man act out is like watching a two year old throw a temper tantrum. It's like that old saying, "The bigger the man, the harder the fall." This is particularly true for the Aries male.

Aries Male Game Playing and Story Telling

Which leads me to my next point concerning the Aries personality in general, male and female alike - game playing. Just as children love to play games, so does the Aries persona.

 As a matter of fact, it's admittedly one of their favorite ways to pass the time. It's almost as if the world exists simply for their entertainment and everyone in it is a character that can be easily manipulated by them for their own enjoyment.

Many times, without giving any thought to the fact that these people they're toying with are human beings, with real feelings. They don't mean to be mean, it's just that they're so caught up in their own world all the time, they don't ever seem to take much time to consider others.

All the Aries head games we're about to delve into won't come as a shock if you understand astrology. You see, their body rulership is that of the head. Eyes, ears, mouth, brain. So it comes as no real shock that head games are so intriquing to them. And one interesting observation is that many an Aries male keeps his hairdo top o' the list. Many sport the "jar head" look - a crew cut or very finely tuned crisp cut, a military look of sorts. I'd venture to guess that Aries men visit the barber twice as often as the average man.

I have a great example of their zany game playing that's just for kicks. I met this one particular Aries male about 5 years ago during a business encounter. He was from the neighborhood so I was somewhat already aware of his background. I already knew what he did for a living and, as is typical of Aries men, he had a great job and a successful career. You'd think that'd be enough to tout about, right? Wrong. This chap happens by my house one day and we get to talking on the front porch.

Nothing heavy, just friendly small talk. And out of nowhere, he says to me, "I used to be a DEA agent down in Chile." (Really? That's funny because I already know that you were a trouble shooter for a big company nearby.) Before I can get one word out, he's elaborating on this fib and watching my reaction closely. Me, being a Taurus, I chose not to call him on his ridiculousness that particular day. I just let him dig himself deeper as this story of his became more elaborate and dramatized by the minute.

But before I go on, let me back up here a minute. I actually hired this fella to do some work on my home. (Hmm, an undercover DEA agent that moonlights as a contractor - interesting, LOL.) Anywho, the day he showed up to do the job, it was about 58 or 59 degrees out, a breezy Spring day. I saw him go up on the roof, fully clothed, and about an hour later, he was knocking at my door, clipboard and invoice in hand - shirtless.

Yes folks, shirtless and half naked on a 58 degree day - in the clients living room. He's standing there with a big grin on his face and when he sees me approaching, he lets himself in, in typical Aries fashion, before I even make it to the door. And I swear, when he stepped inside the house it was like the Flight of the Valkyries was blaring in his head. "Da, da, da, da, DAH - da, da, da, da, DAH." It was like he saw himself as the lead character in his own movie about to perform his Oscar winning performance.

Needless to say, we were never involved other than business and my friends and I now affectionately refer to him as "the naked contractor." Ok, now back to the DEA story. At a later date, he ended up boppin on by again - another infamous Aries male trait - coming over when they're not invited or expected (to spy on you). Only this time, I decided to confront him in typical Taurus fashion about the DEA bit. I said, "Tell me again what you do for a living?" (Aries translation: Talk about yourself more.) His response? A big smirk began to display across his face, he looked down at the ground like a little boy kicking stones (awe shucks), and said, "I was a trouble shooter." And he just about cracked himself up over the whole thing.

You see, it was all for kicks, a game, and he was gunning for a big reaction to stroke that giant ego of his. "Oh wow! Really?! You were a big, bad DEA agent in another country (which doesn't even make sense in and of itself) - oh boy!! You must be the worlds most interesting man alive!" That's what he was shooting for anyway. That isn't the reaction he got from a Taurus, however. We rarely ever play our cards on the first few rounds.

The Aries Male Dark Side

That particular story is one that relates to playful Aries games. However, they do have a darker side, as do we all, and believe you me, they love nothing more than a good skirmish with someone. A girlfriend of mine that was involved with an Aries for more than 40 years claims that a heated debate can be much like foreplay to them. Like one of those scenes in the old fashioned black and white movies where the woman's telling this guy what she really thinks of him, she's really letting him have it - and then he suddenly and unexpectedly grabs her and lays a long, passionate kiss on her.

That's the stuff of Aries mens dreams. If you want to see an Aries man come alive, start a heated debate. But a hurt Aries male and the games that will ensue afterwards are something of an entirely different nature indeed. Ladies, beware. These guys can be downright cruel, especially during a breakup.

The Aries male motto concerning love and relationships just has to be, "All is fair in love and war." And to the Aries male, love IS war. I've seen many an Aries man, within days of a breakup, strut another woman in the previous womans face - and with great delight, like they just won the World Cup. I've seen them come up with ways to make the previous woman jealous that you wouldn't believe, gunning for that big reaction. You know, the kind where the woman just looses her mind and goes all crazy ape on the guy.

An Aries man won't be put off by that behavior, he'll be thoroughy entertained by it and he'll be sharing that story with his buds. "You shoulda seen her, she went nuts. It was great! I wish you could've seen it!" Yes ladies, these guys will "stoop." They'll play dirty and throw all the rules of etiquette right out the window - and into your face. Speaking of games, other favorite dating past times of the Aries male include doing silly things like sending a slew of texts and then - poof, disappearing for hours once they get you to respond.

 They also get a big kick out of making plans and then cancelling at the last minute. Much of this is to test your emotional strength. Will you go ballistic? If you do, they got your number - let the games begin! If you don't, you're a challenge. Again, let the games begin!

Maybe some of the above has happened to you and, dare I say, you seek revenge on an Aries. If so, play it careful, ladies. Once you engage these fellas, it's on.

Aries Male In A Nutshell

Are you getting what I'm throwing down yet? See the theme developing here? Games, challenges, conquering and warrior like behavior tinged with worship. It's even better when it all ends with a "rescue" of sorts.

The Aries male is a true gladiator and when you think things may be going badly, chances are - he's having the time of his life. This one loves a good bit of drama. Which I believe is the reason you see so many Aries/Gemini pairings. We all know the Gemini personality tends to be a split personality of sorts. The continued drama, worry, nervousness and indecisiveness of the Gemini persona seems to keep the Aries interested and continually challenged over the long haul. Drama, drama, drama and a pure love of the thrill of the chase. So much so, that once they catch you - all too often, they then quickly disappear.

Why behave like this, you ask? It's about the challenge. If that disappears and they've figured you out, as much as I hate to say it, you become boring to them. If you're gunning for an Aries male, my advice to you if you'd like to snag him would be to run in the other direction. Just run, run and then keep running from him. He'll chase you like there's no tomorrow and he'll love every minute of it.

What woman is the woman that usually captures the Aries man's heart? This is funny, but most times, a woman that's been with an Aries man for a while will tell you, "When I first met him, I didn't like him." And he knew it - and that's when the chase began, he stumbled - and then fell in love. These chaps are funny, the more you dislike them, the more they like you and the harder they set out to change your mind.

And don't let the macho masculinity of this sign throw you - they love a woman that speaks her mind and isn't afraid to put them in their place every once in a while. You may think you're going to upset them by speaking frankly, but the fact is, they'll be thoroughly entertained by your tenacity and find you even more intriquing.

 All that being said, generally, you can always count on the Aries male, regardless of your history together, friendship or otherwise. And once all the game playing and worshipping comes to an end, 90% of the time, you can look back on it together and have a laugh. When you've reached that point, feel free to poke fun at the Aries male for all his zany behavior and crazy story telling - I do it all the time with my Aries friends, male and female alike, and they can, indeed, laugh at themselves.

And then eventually will come the day they actually admit to "the game" - and they'll be quite sad it's all over.

"For Zeus wept when there were no worlds left to conquer."

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EJMalyn said...

You certainly did hit the nail on the head here, but me being the Taurus woman...I love the challenge...stand ground and they do surrender, it's the fight they love, but will never admit it.

Lorin G said...

fits me to a tee

Anonymous said...

Holy crap, this is scary accurate!

Anonymous said...

I love my aries man, ill let him chase me to the end of the world if thats what it takes to marry him..

Anonymous said...

I'm a Leo woman, and going through a divorce from an Aries male. He is a psychopath who is deeply self-absorbed. When he didn't get his way, he would go and tell my parents, my Doctor, and even my kids' Vice-Principal that I was bi-polar and needed immediate help, that I didn't take care of my kids, or the house. When things would go wrong, he wasn't around. He has NOT valued this marriage at all, but yet he still wants to cling onto me! This is the worst relationship I've ever been in, and I can't wait to be free!

Mirror of Aphrodite said...

@Leo Woman,
Ah, the Aries male, a self-absorbed psychopath lol. Actually, I can believe that. They are the babies of the zodiac and their personalities can be associated with that of a 7 year old.

He's clinging to you because he wants to maintain control. And the more you run, the more he's going to chase.

Don't look back, just keep running ;-)

Anonymous said...

oh dear and my current boyfriend is an Aries with a Taurus moon. He's moving and not moving all at the same time. :P

Anonymous said...

I fell for a Aries man, I am Libra. Just as mentioned above I wasnt really attracted to him at first, but he pursued me so aggressively, I became enthralled with him. We had the best sex ever, but after 3 months, he withdrew and it was over. I still find myself pining over him, I guess I should have kept the chase going. Even though he was hot tempered, he was a very exciting man.

The Mirror of Aphrodite said...

Keeping up with an Aries male is difficult. They like to play games and frankly, it can become extremely exhausting. Chances are, if he's gone, you're better off. But if you want to continue the chase, you could always consider subtly popping up on his radar again. Not via contact of any form, just somehow, make an appearace somewhere casually (i.e. online, at a group function, etc.)

And if you do this properly, without coming onto him, it'll get him thinking again - and wondering why you're over him ;-)

Hence, the chase begins . . .

But be careful with that. He may chase again and disappear on you again, too.

Anonymous said...

I think you were correct when you said I'm probably better without him, his loss.

norma said...

i am also a leo havng the hardest time with my aries husband who is the most self absorbed persn i have also met.he seems to think its ok for him to talk to me in a demeaning way but oh no...dont let me give him a piece of my mind because now i'm yelling and he's hurt..booohoo..i love him but his pride and ego have gotten in the way of our relationship..according to astroloogy we are supposed to be perfect..this is why i chose him to begin with because we were a match..buthe has been my biggest challenge in all relationships i have had..we love each other but his way of talking to me is taking this all to a new level of anger towards him..im trying to be strong but i deserve more than he provides...

norma said...

he is so childish and he is 45 years old..he likes to go back and forth like children when we argue...if i say something...he has to say something worse to hurt me and then i get mad and snap back..its never ending..and he never admits to starting any argument ..its alway my fault! ugggghhhh

Mirror of Aphrodite said...

I feel for you. Your story is a bit different because you're not dating him, you're married to him and I don't know if there are children or not.

But here's what I would probably do. These little wars he likes to start, I'd completely blow them off. I know that' incredibly difficult, but if you really want to throw an Aries for a loop, simply ignore them and remain calm and in control. It drives them mad. And soon, when they don't have anyone engaging them in battle, they tend to cease the behavior.

I have a friend who was in a 40 year, on and off, relationship with a man like this. For years, she engaged him in battle and it was completely draining. To the point that she no longer had feelings for him.

Eventually, she quit reacting to his battle cries. This drove him mad but it made him stop and think. Now, he no longer behaves in that manner and he's actually nice to her, although at times, it does resurface. However, in her situation, she's no longer with him so she really doesn't care and she just completely ignores him.

Engaging him in his battles is actually fulfilling his Aries "warrior" needs. It's like a drug. The more he gets fed, the more he'll want it. I'd cease reacting to anything he says at all and when he starts up, I'd say something like, "You know what? We've been here before and these problems aren't my own, they're yours. So whatever is bothering you, you're just going to have to deal with yourself. If you're unhappy, then you're going to have to decide what to do about it. Because as for me, I'm fine and I have no need to behave like this. So you go and work your own shit out."

And that's it. Don't engage him and don't give his arguments any weight. Make them his own problem and not yours. Just completely remove yourself from the argument. Smile, laugh, go to lunch with friends or family - leave him to his own here. This will make him think. He'll say things to himself like, "Why isn't she mad? Doesn't she care anymore?"

You want him to start to think about how he's behaving and the only way to do that is to make him accountable for his behavior be removing yourself from it and leaving it on his shoulders. You're fine, he's the one with problems.

If you engage an Aries with a strong "warrior" tendency in battle, it'll only perpetuate the situation because believe it or not, they love this stuff. They wouldn't admit it, but it makes them feel alive.

The friend of mine I was refrencing above? After everything cooled down with them, she asked him why he behaved like that and you know what he said? He said, "Because I like to poke at you and watch how you react." It's like entertainment to them.

Take the fun out of it for him. It will also take some of his power away from him in this situation as well.

Anonymous said...

I'm a leo female writing about an aries male and could really use some help here.

I met him 6 years ago on a dating website. We used to chat on msn and on the phone several times and then after a while we lost touch and got busy with our lives. Last year, he contacted me out of the blue. I was working overseas and had come back home to renew my work permit for my job overseas. This time we met in person and he was very interested in me. However, I was in a committed relationship with someone overseas (and didn’t tell him that) so carried on seeing him. He pursued me and I knew he really liked me. He even suggested that our families meet (he was actually interested in marriage). I would have said yes in a heartbeat because he ticks every box on my list but because I was already in a relationship and I knew that my work permit would come through anytime, I showed some hesitation and he continued to pursue me, even though I did mention to him several times that I will have to go back if my work permit does come through. He would get irritated and ask me questions like ‘is work more important?’, ‘why can’t you at least stay for the summer?’ Eventually, my work permit did come through so the last thing I did before leaving was to send him a text saying ‘it has been really nice knowing you, hopefully we’ll get to meet again someday’. I went back to my boyfriend overseas and we lost touch.
During the year I started having relationship problems with my bf, so one day I suddenly thought of this guy and sent him a text from overseas to say hi. He texted right back asking me if I was back in town and I replied saying no. He never texted me back after that. Shortly afterwards, I went through a very rough breakup and was sad and depressed for a very long time. Eventually after about a year of not dating anyone, I found a job back home and moved back.

About 1.5 months ago, I sent him a casual text asking him if he still remembered me and he texted right back (extremely enthusiastically) saying he did with loads of smiley faces (it was quite obvious he was very happy to hear from me). I texted back saying I was back in town. Didn’t hear from him for two days so sent him a text saying ‘you’ve disappeared again, that’s so you!!’. He texted back apologizing and saying he was at work ( he has a very demanding job and works ridiculous hours). The following day he called me, and we reconnected straight way. He then asked me I could meet him that evening and I had to decline (because I had other plans) but suggested the following day. But his work schedule is insane and our schedules didn’t meet so he said he will call me back later to re-schedule. Three weeks went by and nothing from him. Then a long weekend came by and I was tired of waiting so I sent him a text saying ‘I’m going to be free this weekend, so if you’re available give me a shout. Looking forward to seeing you again’. He texted right back saying ‘sorry in California with family, will be back in a week or so and will give you a ring then if that’s cool?’. So I replied casually saying that was cool. It’s been 3 weeks again and nothing from him!!
I don’t know what to do. I know when he’s working he gets so absorbed that he forgets the world around him. Should I wait another couple of weeks and contact him? I’ve never come across as desperate and needy in front of him before and in all honesty, I kinda rejected him in a way and disappeared on him for over a year. Maybe he’s purposely making me wait now because I made him wait? All I need is one date with him to invoke his interest again, and then I can go back to playing it cool (which I have no problem with being a leo and having a large ego). After all, so far he has responded to me and wanted to see me. So maybe if I sent him a reminder in a few weeks that shouldn’t be harmful right or would I just blow it? Please advise as I really don’t want to mess this up.

Mirror of Aphrodite said...

At this point, I think you've made your interest clear to him. I would not contact him again. I would gauge his interest in me by waiting for him to contact me.

Another contact is going to appear as pursuit to him and Aries absolutely hate to be pursued by women.

If a guy really likes you and is genuinely interested, he'll go for it, especially an Aries.

I'd hang back here and see if that happens because I'm getting the vibe he may be involved with someone already and just hasn't told you yet.

Silver said...

"I'm a leo female writing about an aries male and could really use some help here."

I'm an Aries male, have posted on this site before (years ago), and this is my suggestion.
Tell him the truth. Let him know that when you two first went out you had a relationship overseas and didn't want to tell him at the time. Tell him what you've posted here, that you've gone through a hard break up and moved back to your current location. He knows your interested in him and he certainly appreciates that he's hearing interest from you again. He may see this as a great opportunity to get serious with you. Telling him the truth will touch his heart strings, and speaking for myself as an Aries male, we respect honesty and candor very highly. He might be playing a game a tad bit by hesitating to follow through with making plans to meet as you suspect, but I believe he would be more reluctant to do so after being honest with him in such a way. Good luck, hope it works out for you.

Anonymous said...

Thank you Silver, for such good advice. I really appreciate it. So I sent him a really long and honest text message going kind of like this '.. Sorry if I'm bothering you at work and I wanted to say this in person that I hope you're not holding anything against me b/c i decided to go back overseas last year. I wanted to see you again but my circumstances were different at the time... and I didn't want to suggest keeping in touch because we were still early and I wasn't sure if you would have wanted to. So I'm going to quit sending texts now bc this is making me incredibily uncomfortable but i only contacted you again upon coming back to see if you are willing to give this another shot to meet up again to see where things go. However, if you don't want to or have something else going on then I completely understand.. '
I can tell him the truth if and when I see him but at least, i've come out openly and made it clear to him why I am serious this time and possibly piqued his curiosity about 'my circumstances at the time..', lest he's thinking that I'll see him again a few times and then disappear again.

If he's seeing somebody else and/or isn't interested then at least i'll have my answer if I don't hear back from him. But the fact that he's actually responded to my messages positively shows that there still may be a possibilty, so hey, I gave it another shot. If he calls me, then i'll know. If he doesn't, then I'll know as well. But I feel much better after sending this text.

Anonymous said...

So I’ve been seeing this Aries male for about 6 months now and he absolutely drives me insane. He is so difficult to read and yet sometimes not so difficult to read. He can be the sweetest person, yet such an a$$ at the same time. We practically see each other almost every day, but do give each other space as well. We do spend quality time together. He cooks for me (he and I are both foodies), makes me breakfast in bed, we go out, he’s met my friends, I’ve met his ect.

My problem is that I am so confused and don’t know if I have the energy to continue this because of the emotional aspect. I’m a Cancer with Aquarius rising. I have very STRONG Aquarius traits. He is successful, as am I, and I think he likes that. I also don’t focus my whole life and being around him. He doesn’t call me all day and I don’t call him. But sure enough, if we haven’t talked all day, I get a text from him at the end of the night with a simple “good night.” It’s as if he’s upset I haven’t contacted him. He makes these little comments in an attempt to get me jealous, which I don’t. However, he asks me a million questions about what I’ve done and where I’ve been. I have a lot of male friends and I KNOW he hates that. He doesn’t say anything in particular, but if I ever talk about a male friend his first comment is “did you fuck him?” And here’s another thing, I don’t want to sound too snooty, but I am attractive, successful and I feel as if that’s what he wants, but only because he wants some sort of “trophy wife.” Like… look at me! Look what I have. But behind closed doors, he likes that I’m very gender role traditional, warm and sweet. However, I don’t put up with his sh*t. Period. Now…I have a complete emotional barrier up as I’m sure he does too. Which is why I’m asking for advice. I don’t know if I need to let my guard down a little? I don’t know what to do? I don’t know if he really likes me? How can I tell? UGH! Damn you Aries men!!

Mirror of Aphrodite said...

Aries can be infuriating to deal with and honestly, they need one of two things in a partner:

1.) Someone whose strong enough emotionally to not become drained with their constant intensity, mental manipulation and need for control.

2.) OR, someone who really doesn't give a crap about them at all LOL. Then they do what they want, the other does what they want, the other lets the Aries antics slide (because they don't care) - and somehow, they meet in the middle somewhere.

Aries can be draining, that's for sure. I've found I can be great friends with them, but when dating them, I get over it real fast. All the ego stroking and constant attention they need - I can't take it. In addition, sometimes many of them just take, and don't give back at all. They can come across as feeling very "entitled" to things in life without reciprocating an ounce of it back. Basically, they can be like emotional vampires, sucking the life out of you LOL.

Anywho, here's what I would do. You already have a history and a repor here with him, and a certain amount of trust it seems. In that case, I think it's okay to take a chance. And do so in "baby steps."

Let your guard down a little, just a little one time - and see if you get a positive response and see if he reciprocates. If not, don't do it again. If he does, take another baby step at a later time afterwards and make another move. If he reciprocates, proceed in that manner. If he balks or if you notice him distancing himself or downright disappearing. Cease all of that at once and disappear on him as well. Because let's face it, it's a real possiblity here. Anytime a woman attempts to amp up the relationship or move it forwards, men tend to flake out and go missing in action (MIA).

That's where the baby step approach comes in. That way, you don't put your head on the guillotine. If you sense hesitation from him, you simply stop with that approach is all.

And realize this, this isn't meant to make you sad, it's just something I've learned about the Aries personality over time . . just because an Aries man gets jealous and possessive regarding you doesn't mean he's in love necessarily. With them, it's a power/ego thing. I've seen lots of them control others, while behind the scenes, their out gallavanting around doing nefarious things. They're motto is, "Do as I say, not as I do" sometimes. So just be mindful of that is all. I'm quite sure he likes you because an Aries will bolt faster than lightening from a situation or person they're not into. So if he's spending time and making time for you, that's always a positive sign.

Baby steps.

Anonymous said...

@mirror of aphrodite Thanks! You’re exactly right about the “entitlement” and “power/ego” thing. It does annoy me and drive me crazy, but I usually never let him see that side of me. I’m always pretty calm and collected which I know drives him nuts. I kind of do it on purpose. It’s the weirdest thing. I’m not a “playing games” type of person what so ever, but with him, I find myself doing things purposely to annoy him. Well, not so much annoy him, but in a hidden way show him his antics don’t faze me. I don’t think it’s healthy, but whatever. He always tells me I have walls up. I’m getting to the point where it’s just becoming boring and I really don’t care. Plus, I’ve kept my options open.

We’ll see how this flows out. He’s a freaking weirdo. He told me yesterday that we haven’t been communicating well these last couple of days and wants us to communicate better. WTF?!? Umm.. earth to Mr. Aries… we’ve never communicated period. How do you communicate with an Aries!? Haha Seriously, they all need therapy!

Anonymous said...

I am just meeting an Aires man. I normally don't follow signs, but there is some truth to your feedback. :) Today is the first day I have not heard from him....after church yesterday I sent him a note just appreciating his existence in my life. Do you think I heard from him...UM NO. I didn't follow up or call. This is the same guy who stated the night before that "he was free to connect with me anytime." So I've decided two can play that game boo boo. He gets no response from me today. I like to call that PUTTING THEM ON ICE! Your thoughts?

Mirror of Aphrodite said...

My thoughts? PERFECT. That's exactly what you do, you mirror their behavior. How they treat you, that's how you treat them. If he takes 3 days to respond, then so do you.

Anonymous said...

You really should put a post up about aries females, lol. He he (btw I recently posted on your other page about the aries female enemy i have.) Update: she purposely excluded inviting me to her kids birthday....but made sure to invite my boyfriend, friends, etc. Guess what I'm gonna do? Show up with a nice present, eat her food and booze socialize like nothings wrong and be on my merry way with a cheer. LOL!!!

Anonymous said...

Wow! This is correct and so scary! He is an Aries divorced man I am divorced too. We are both 38 years old. The problem is that we cannot have a normal friendship. He acts normal and friendly with unattractive women. With me he is hot and cold with me. For the past 8 months I have not visited his office. He comes over to visit me not a lot, but its a lot of akward silences. I do talk about other men when he asks about my dating life. He always has to make some snippy comment. He has a girlfriend and he is unhappy because there relationship is drama free. I met her before and he texted me beasue she said I was hot!!.... weird of him right? So I don't text, e-mail, or visit him anymore. What did I do? Why does he get along with everyone? He goes to happy hour with all the people in my department. They all love him, but the girl in my dept hate me. It's horrible. I have know this guy for 3 years and its like I don't even knwo who he is anymore. Did he like me in the past or am I reading him wrong?

Mirror of Aphrodite said...

You know, Aries are an infuriating breed I find. I'm a Taurus female and for some unknown reason, they're drawn to me like flies on crap, I can't shake em. I'm great friends with them, but as far as relationships go, I bore easily with their ego and head games. They're incredibly predictable to me.

I'm no expert here, but based on my own experiences, I find ego to be their number one problem. Especially when it comes to beautiful women. These guys will pursue a woman of average looks, no problem. Thing is, when they land the average girl, they split just as fast as they showed up.

When it comes to an above average girl, they start with the games immediately. And I think it's due to ego and a secret lack of self esteem. Believe it or not, I recently had an Aries male, a self proclaimed player no less, tell me he had low self esteem. He was nice to two weeks, then he turned into an idiot and disappeared. Two months later, about two weeks ago, he showed up like nothing happened. I waited several days to respond to him and he was so upset, he could barely text two word responses. I just laughed and laughed.

So here's what I think it is. When they meet the above average girl, their insecurities suddenly surface. Not knowing how to deal with that, they resort to game playing and attempting to hold the upper hand. I confroned the one I was dealing with and he said, "I don't want someone to come and snatch you away." Huh? You play games because you don't want someone to snatch me away? Is that suppossed to pique my interest? You being mysterious and playing games?

See, that works on girls who lack self esteem themselves. Because then, they try harder to win him over. A good looking girl doesn't have to do that for a man's attention. So I believe Aries like to make good looking women feel like "less." So that their insecurities don't take a front seat. Rather, the girls insecurities do.

It's a convoluted thing and it's only my theory. But I think Aries men secretly become insecure around good looking women. They put on a good show, but that's all it is, a show, a front. And when they begin to feel insecure, they want to reverse that by making the good looking girl feel MORE insecure than he does.

Everything about Aries is getting the upper hand via game playing. But their game playing reveals insecurities from time to time. And they treat average looking women nicely in front of a good looking women - to make the good looking woman question herself - to make her feel like something is wrong with her. I think Aries men fear that if the good looking girls knows she's good looking, she'll pass him over.

It's whacked, I know. But it's almost like they don't want a good looking woman to actually think she's good looking. They want her to feel like less, so they increase their chances.

But see, like with me . . when a guy acts like that, he does indeed loose me. And I must admit, when the one I was dealing with circled around again, I think he was expecting me to be right there, jumping at the chance. I think he thought his disappearing act would make me feel like less. And when it didn't, when I took my good ole' time getting back to him, he was enraged - and I must admit, that gave me great pleasure - to turn the Aries on his head.

He hasn't resurfaced again yet, but he will. His ego will demand that he get my attention again. And I'm prepared for his return (cue the sinister laugh ;-)

Two can always play the Aries game - and get absolutely nowhere with it LOL. Eventually, they learn. Or they walk away defeated.

Anonymous said...

dear God help me! I've been with my Aries boyfriend, and father of my son for almost 3 years. we met at work and was friends for months before we started talking/dating. I knew his past and he knew I was a hard ass. I'm an attractive independent woman and a lot of guys tried to pursue me at work but I never failed to reject everyone in my nature. he's a nice guy and I've seen this.. I'm a cancer and I know I'm moody but holy crap he is a roller coaster from hell. he's so sensitive its worse than any woman I've ever seen yet he has the ego of the devil himself. he constantly is making promises he cannot keep, making plans and canceling, going out gets wasted only to treat me like shit when he gets home(use to he always was nice drunk), runs over my emotions and feelings, and has suddenly become somewhat physical when arguing. He lashes out saying horrible horrible things to me anytime I confront him that he's already hurt me, only to my expense, getting more hurt by his reactions and constant defense of himself. I'm at my end. I've started noticing my ignoring him drives him nuts. I know he loves a chase and challenge and he is obviously, despite his random selfish actions, in absolute love with me. its so exhausting and its doing nothing but putting my walls up. wtf am I suppose to do surrender and suffer by accepting him or run like I want to? maybe I'm not giving enough info because this is such a huge ongoing set of situations I didnt even know where to start...help! I'm sick of being humiliated emotionally and to others by his selfish egotacks!

Mirror of Aphrodite said...

The best advice or insight I can give you would be found here:


As one recent reader commented on the article:

"Your tactics have somewhat of a 'kill em with kindness' effect to it. Not to say you kiss your enemies ass, but pleasantry and kindness with an arian enemy..... when they expect and WANT retaliation and war..... makes them feel guilty, question themselves and embarrasses them."

Don't engage him in battle. Rather, be amused by his outlandish antics and become somewhat unmoved by them. His head will be spinning and he'll be questioning himself in no time at all.

He needs humbled. And the only way to accomplish that is by becoming aloof towards him and his behavior. It is only then that he will take the time to think about what he's doing.

Next time he starts, remain calm and composed. Crack a slight smile, turn to him and nicely say (while laughing), "Do you think this is normal behavior? Is this how you intend to handle everything life throws at you all the time? Good grief." And then chuckle lightly as you walk AWAY from him.

Begin to handle his confrontations and behavior in that manner. Once he realizes he can no longer push your buttons or get you to engage in warfare with him - he'll stop.

Flutter said...

Info: am 19 yrs old and a true gemini..my boyf is 24 and an aries...we v been dating for 6months now...he reads my mind accurately...i do the same too but his is unequaled...we do this even while we are apart,so freaky some times....dere is no issue abt luv cz we v gt dt in excess...what he loves most about me is when i act like a child(sing cartoon songs)..so dis is not about being bored...every1 says i must not lose him coz we r perfect.
More: You are so accurate...infact u nailed my boyf correctly right from how i dd nt notice him..how he chased me e.t.c(every sentence,every damn word u sed)...the only difference is aldou egoistic,mine ll never stop doing gentleman stuff even when we brk up.His motto is "i cant stop caring for you",i wish it was "i ll never play head games with you"...He treats me like a wife,expcts me to entertain his family when they come around..Do u know wat pisses me of d most..Even if we were in d midst of quarrel,he xpcts me 2 act normal when a guest/friend comes in. Its annoying having to grinn bear when all dat is in your mind is"Get the hell out,dont u v sum oda place 2 go"
Present issue: We v been having some issues and @ a point i got tired and decided to break up.Did not use up 2 2wks b4 i rlsd dat it was impossible...now i told him i was wrong blah blah n sorry 4 everything and that i want him back...Do you know what he does now?...he torments me...plays our songs knowing that it touches me..tells me not to leave the room or stop the song...he then tells me to come nearer,tells me 2 lie next to him,lays my head on his chest...it gets me all d more crazy..my body almost convulses as i choke in his nearness..he knows dis..he lays his lips nxt 2 myn n wont kiss me even though i try to draw his head nearer..he then...caresses my arm...y.dy i cud not bear it anymore,i burst into tears and asked him what else he wanted from me..asked him why he was tormenting me..He sed he wasnt..i cried..i could not hold it anymore,he jes cleaned my tears n calmed me down..@ a point,i had to leave his side..coz i cud nt bear being so close yet apart...
Plus: leaving him is out of it..m agud flirt,if i could i would bt my heart has totally been taken.....i feel he is acting this way coz v hurt him before..n even though he was the one who hurt me this tym..he is doubly hurt coz i hurt him back by leaving him...pls jes help me out,i dont know what to say again

Mirror of Aphrodite said...

You're not going to like hearing this, but you need to walk away here. If you stay, he'll give you more pain because you're permitting him to do so.

Think about it this way . . what's more important? Him or you? The answer to that should be YOU. Choose YOU.

He can only hurt you as much as you permit him too. He can only toy with you as much as you permit him to. If he can't decide to be with you, then he needs to leave you so that you can go find happiness. And if he truly cared about you, that's exactly what he'd do.

I think maybe you two need to take a break from one another because what you both are involving yourselves in right now isn't making either of you happy it seems. As a matter of fact, it sounds downright "toxic" in nature.

Do what's best for yourself.

Anonymous said...

You know what? Maybe you should all just stop dating Aries. Especially you, Cancers. Go find yourselves a nice Pisces or something and be happy. Why trying to fight the windmills? Same to you, Taurus people. Why on Earth would you like an Aries boyfriend? From what you're saying, they're all psychopaths and nobody should be with them. So, why bother? All you do is bitch online instead of finding someone who suits you better. Let those Aries freaks rot and go on with your lives.

Mirror of Aphrodite said...

Ok, apparently we've really touched a nerve here. I saw your comment on the Sag post as well.

Look, Aries is a Fire sign. Fire = Intense. So naturally, yes, Aries are an intense sign. They're not a sign that all people know how to deal with or care to deal with. Drama, lots of drama.

But that doesn't mean that there aren't other signs out there with those similar qualties and traits. Signs that can appreciate that about the Aries - such as Leo and Sag.

There's someone out there for everyone and everyone has a dark side - all signs included. Hell, I'm a Taurus and I'm fully aware that Taurus can be stubborn, bullish and resistant to change at times. It is what it is. And not all other signs out there will appreciate those qualities about Taurus.

We're all only human - and we all carry the dark and the light.

Anonymous said...

Im a Aries male - i gotta say, the info sbout 85-90% accurate - All of us have some differences, many real bad nd few good. As for me, the "acting like babies" is kinda true, but i came to realize a while ago that we treat our love ones a certain way nd expect gratitude or the same exact treatment or effort, but its simply not that easy. Everyone is different and or are not aware of the effort put in place for the gesture. Like was said we are proud bad asses lol soooo when we bend over nd try to woo u lovely ladies, yea most if not all of us are feelin stupid, however if u r worth it, we will do all sorts of stupid things for love lol yea we have egos but hey do u want a loser lol lastly yess we r jealous, u would b 2 if u saw me conversating with an average woman, worse a hot 1 and at work, where that talk will happen often..... All comes down to how u can prove eachothers trust - thanks.... Nd yes im currently in love with a LEO female

Anonymous said...

I beleive us aries also assume either to much or too little -all in all we aint so bad -just carefull wit those Aries that r full of it lol Those r the ones that make me look bad - r there by any chance 2 types of aries male- the one that likes the color blue or blue green instead of the one the likes color red? we r all MEAT eaters tho lol

Mirror of Aphrodite said...

Thanks for coming here and sharing your thoughts and thanks for being real and agreeing with some of the hard truths about your sign.

Aries is a "he-man" type of guy, at least generally, that's how they see themselves, thus, this comes out in their behavior. Nothing wrong with a he-man, lots of women are drawn to them for that very reason - raw, primal, animal energy oozing from every pore. Problem is, sometimes that can go to their head and they can become rather insensitive towards others and lack patience.

And to answer your question, can there be two types of Aries, one that likes blue/green and one that likes red? The answer is YES. That's entirely possible.

Let me explain. You see, on either side of the sign of Aries you have Pisces and Taurus. Pisces preceeds the sign and Taurus follows it. With regards to the blue/green mention, I'd place that individual near the cusp of Taurus if I had to guess. Blue/green is the color of Taurus (Earth) so any Aries born near the end of the sign, say the third week of April, may have Taurus placements elsewhere in their chart. Taurus, being an earth sign, can ground and stabilize a fired up Aries. An Aries with Taurus placements can be a bit more emotionally stable and relaxed in nature than one born say the first week of April (those are the most "fired" up Aries of all.) First week of April Aries can be a real hoot LOL.

Lots of times, first week of April Aries dating style can be akin to caveman dating styles - i.e. they'll bonk you over the head and drag you by your hair into their lair LOL. They're not the smoothest of Aries but hey, if you're into all that primal, raw animal energy - first week of April Aries are for you.

On the same token, an Aries born near the cusp of Pisces, say near the end of March, can have Pisces placements elsewhere in their chart. Pisces is a water sign (emotion) and those Aries can be a bit more romantic at heart and they strive to be true gentlemen at their core. They'll still have Aries fire and a he-man quality to them, but they'll also admit they shed a tear from time to time as well.

And yes, being the overall he-man caveman of the Zodiac, most all Aries are meat eaters LOL.

I'm a Taurus female, born on the Cusp of Aries. I have a Taurus sun, but I have a heavy Aries placement in my chart. I have 4 other planets in the sign of Aries. So with me, the Taurus sun keeps me laid back and relaxed and grounded in nature, however, my other 4 Aries placements are in planets concerning communication, love and money. So when it comes to those matters, I tend to behave like an Aries with regards to them. Which is why I believe I get along so well with Aries. I don't find them, they find me, and I've found that we make better friends than lovers. My Taurus sun bores of the drama quickly LOL.

Thanks for sharing Aries friend and thanks for having a sense of humor about it all.

Anonymous said...

Nice -the zodiac has good planets in me, a proud badass needs planets after all lol especially ones that prefer blue blue-green ....thankx

Anonymous said...

Reading this is so funny to me! Do these traits apply to Aries females as well? I'm an Aries female and although I am a "take charge" kind of person, I am also very compromising. I detest game playing and prefer honesty and being straightforward. I'm dealing with a Taurus male right now and if you compare the comments about the Aries male with the Taurus male on this site, they're virtually the same! Maybe it's just males in general!? *grin*

Mirror of Aphrodite said...

Yes, there is a string of similarity regarding male behavior - regardless of the zodiac sign LOL.

As to whether or not this description applies to Aries females - well, yes and no. Meaning, Aries females will have a strength about them (Fire = intense) and they will also have a masculine polarity (dominance) because the sign is of male polarity. However, females will exhibit these traits differently than men do.

It's something like this:

Aries females will exhibit their male polarity (dominance) by maintaining a sort of mind set such as, "Anything a man can do, I can do too - or even better." Translation, Aries female can handle herself. Hell, she can handle many things that the typical girlie girl won't.

Aries females will display their intensity in an "inward" manner versus the Aries male, who displays his in an "outward" manner. Translation: Aries female is more concerned with self-preservation (survival) as oppossed to her male counterpart whose generally concerned with . . err, himself (success). And she will guard herself, her goals, her ambitions and her inner desires with great heated intensity.

Regarding the game playing tendencies, with Aries male it's flat out apparent they're attempting to take control. With Aries female, being focused inward rather than outward, she'll be more apt to get her way via what some might consider manipulation of sorts but in actuality is more akin to "massaging people into agreeing with her and/or doing her bidding." In otherwords, she's dumb like a fox.

So blatent games to you would be somewhat repeling due to the fact that Aries female is smarter than that and more apt to attain her goals in life via the path of least resistance while still controlling the reigns (inward expression) - as oppossed to her Aries male counterpart and his tendency to plow his way through life like a runaway train (outward expression).

Anonymous said...

MofA, you described me perfectly above ! Thanks for the clarification. I must admit, I do know how to charm the snowshoes off an Eskimo in a snowstorm, but that's about the extent of my "manipulative ways"! Maybe I need to forget the Incredibly frustrating Taurus male and date a female Aries! *just kidding*. Give me a nice Sag male. Thanks for you insight. Love this website!

Anonymous said...

Anon...I'm a Capricorn lady in a long term almost four year relationship/friendship with an Aries male, he's exciting, very humourus, tactile, warm, sexy, hard working, intelligent, very family orientated, honest, communicative....the list of plus factors are endless, he's non committal & very self centred, I just happen to love him & it being all about him so it works well but one has to genuinely feel that, good luck folks x

Anonymous said...

I'm a Pisces woman who met an Aries man over a year ago and I can confirm their love of self. On a whim I started looking up his sign because he was born on April 1st lol... And it was so funny to read how dead on the descriptions were! He actually told me that he thinks he was a warrior in a past life, and one time when I was teasing him he started to use his head to push me around... like a fricking ram... I thought that was hilarious.

His ego is a force to be reckoned with though. I've pointed this out and he has no problem agreeing with me. I work with him occasionally and I'm friends with a lot of coworkers who cannot stand him. They think he's arrogant and mean-spirited because of his game playing, which are all because he gets bored. I think the reason we kind of clicked was because I had just gotten out of a relationship with an Aquarius who sucked out all my energy with his insecurities and jealous nature. So his immense self-confidence was definitely attractive to me, and I really don't mind feeding into it at times. I have a lot of fun with him and so far, we totally respect each other's space and privacy.

I think being a challenge and finding the balance between standing your ground and stroking their ego is are good ways to deal with these men. He knows very well that I'm a busy person who isn't going to drop everything just to see him... which he actually told me I should do one time. Oh those egocentric Aries lol...

While they can be immensely frustrating, I think they can definitely be worth it. I'm going away for grad school next year though, so I don't know if I'm going to keep in touch with him. I'd like to but we'll see what happens.

Unknown said...

hahah im al too familiar I am gemini and we have been through OF COURSE WITH MY INTELLIGENCE I CATCH HIM IN ALL KINDS OF SHIT. BUT I LVE HIM I CAN HANDEl him . hes a big ass baby 39 years old. game player well iv decided to put my foot down have not called him in seven days , going on second week as of 09/17/2012. i will keep you updateed . i will not be a foot stoll , my sexxis amazing i cook i work i sing ima makeup artist ima queen . WALK RESPECT WALK RESPECT !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! I DO LUV HMK BUT NOW ITS TOUGH LUV LATER !!!~

Mirror of Aphrodite said...

@Kenya Ritenburg,
Walk, Respect . . nice! (Pantera video "Walk" - http://youtu.be/AkFqg5wAuFk).

OMG, this is great:

"he started to use his head to push me around... like a fricking ram"

And this:

"he's arrogant and mean-spirited because of his game playing, which are all because he gets bored."

And he's an April 1st Aries? Lordy . . those first week of April Aries are a real handful, LOL!!

Anonymous said...

Im an aquarius female who use to date an aries man. He is 6 years older than I am. We were friends for about a year before we got together We broke up in May of this year, but NOTHING changed. We still saw eachother everyday, we still carried on as if we were together. For the majority of our situation he said he wasnt happy because I had a bad attitude and that I really dont understand the magnitude of my attitude. Just about 3 weeks ago he sends me a text saying that he is going to let me work on myself without him being in the situation at all. Then he told me we are just friends, but wont talk to me at all. Then a couple days ago he tells me that he is talking to somebody else. He says that he now feels stress free and he dont have nobody to answer to or argue with. Not too mention he never said he loved me, because he said if we break up he would be confused about his feelings. My feelings are so hurt because I loved this man so much. And its like he never cared about me. He wont answer his phone or respond to my texts. He said that he wants me to move on with my life. I wanna be with him soooooo bad. What do I do? Will me and him be back together?

Lovin my Aries Man said...

So true, I can see my Aries man and all his friends sitting around clowing about some drama one of them started. Me on the other hand I try to avoid being the topic of conversation. With a few exceptions of I just smh, we been together so long I just wonder do they ever get tired and grow up.?

Mirror of Aphrodite said...

Will you get back together? Not if you pursue him. Aries hate to be pursued, they view it as emotional weakness. They ARE the pursuers. They thrive on "conquering" things, people, careers, etc. They don't like to be chased, they like to chase. If you continue to pursue him, he will only move further away from you.

Mirror of Aphrodite said...

@Lovin My Aries Man,
Do they ever grow up? LOL . . not really. They're the first sign in the Zodiac, the "baby's" of the Zodiac, if you will. So they tend to handle things in a bit of a childish manner, with dramatic flair, hehe.

Anonymous said...

So basically I should just not text or call him and wait and see what happens with the new chick he is talking to? How will I know if he really doesnt wanna be with me? How do I know if he really doesnt love me?

Anonymous said...

Aquarius continued... When he began talking about my attitude he would say things like I rolled my eyes, smacked my lips or frowned my face and he doesnt like that. And so I was working hard not to do any of those things but he is very snappy with a smart mouth, which causes me to get an attitude. He then began saying that he is "responding" to my attitude and that when my attitude is fixed, things would go back to normal by default. Not to mention I gained weight and he told me that physical attraction is very important and that if I lost weight he might be a little more lenient towards me, but then dumped me. I asked him does he feel like he pulled his weight in our relationship 100% and he said yes. He said that I am the reason that we are broken up, I ran out of time to get myself together. Now he's with this new chick. Also, we are both christians and attend the same church. We have never had sex, he has never had sex and doesnt believe in sex before marriage. Now as christian and his girlfriend I respected that and I stayed loyal to him, which I know that in the past women had not been loyal to him because they couldnt handle the not having sex. Now he pulls this stunt which has me reanalyzing everything including his feelings for me.

Mirror of Aphrodite said...

How will you know if he really doesn't want to be with you? He won't call you or contact you.

How will you know if he really doesn't love you? He won't call you or contact you.

By not contacting him - you're going to get your answer one way or another.

If you chase him, you're going to be giving in to your insecurities and he will pick up on that and be turned off. Let him come to you. If he doesn't, there's your answer.

Mirror of Aphrodite said...

@Anonymous Aquarius,
He sounds cruel. He also sounds arrogant and shallow. If he truly cared for you, looks would matter little. He's shallow and superficial. And he's upset with your attitude? Ha. What about his?

I'd definitely rethink this. He doesn't sound like he's got much to offer via his personality and character. He sounds mean, cruel, superficial, shallow, ignorant and arrogant. And he's telling YOU to work on yourself? He needs to take a look in the mirror and you need to move along and find something better for yourself. Someone who will love you for who you are, and not ask you to change for them.

Alex said...

I dated an Aries man for 4 years. It was the best and worst 4 years of my life! He was PASSIONATE, loyal, loving, treated me like a queen, would go to the edge of the earth and back, but also hot-tempered (would go from 0-500 in a split second and back to zero in another minute), lovedddddddddd to argue his point, was ALWAYS right and wouldn't stop until you admitted you were wrong (even if you weren't!), LOVES MIND GAMES like nobody I've ever met before- and the article is right ladies, he plays them just for fun, and is all around irritating as hell. Now that we're not together we're extremely close friends but I still get mad because he lays the games on THICK, telling me "nobody really knows me", "what is love? I love all my friends;)", and then trying to give me RELATIONSHIP ADVICE with my new partner! Since I do indeed know him, I know it comes from a place of sulking and hurt, even though after our breakup he acted as though he was having the time of his life while I suffered. In the end, I came out on top but I really wish he had, too, because now he is struggling and he calls me everyday... and I don't share his feelings anymore. Pitfall of the sign, I suppose. Excessive pride! Unless you can handle mental exhaustion, BEWARE :)

Anonymous said...

Bias B-1-T-©_H!

Mirror of Aphrodite said...

Umm . . feel better now after your little Aries tantrum?

Thanks for sharing your thoughts.

Anonymous said...

I am a Sag woman, and I love everything about my aries man, even his dark traits! Oddly that turns me on. We've been together for 8 yrs now, without him life would be sooo Boring. I love playing his littles games and poking fun, but there is always an unspoken respect we have for eachother no matter what. I look forward to what he's going to do next. I have never met anyone so passionate and strong willed like him. Sag and Aries fights are horrible cause we both have tempers, but making up is sooo worth it. He my #1!

Anonymous said...

Im a Scorpio woman and Ive been with my Aries man for almost 5 years now. When I met him I was with someone else and like an Aries he chased me and won me over. When him and I locked eyes it was like we had known eachother all our lives. He is so loyal to me and wont look at another girl and expects the same from me which I give him.
Heres the problem, Ive seen the side of him were he acts out like a child throwing a fit and when I treat him like a child he will calm down like one too. But why does he have to say things that he knows I will take to heart? When we make up he will be like you shouldnt have took it to heart.. well why did you say it? Like when I asked him if he really wanted to break up and he just flat out said yeah but I knew he didnt mean it. WHY DID HE SAY IT THEN? And when were argueing I have to repeat things over and over to him because I feel like he doesnt understand but he gets mad at me for repeating things he says "I herd you the first time" well why doesnt he listen to me and just do what Im telling him insted of doing nothing and letting me think he doesnt understand. If he did something to upset me all I really want is for him to take charge and do something thoughtful from his heart to show me hes really sorry. He will say sorry but not really show it. I want him to do something to sweep me off my feet. I will eventually have to tell him what I want from him to make this better when argueing insted of him figureing it out on his own and I hate that. Also,I am emotional and I will cry when upset... well he will huff and puff because Im crying but he will do nothing about it until the end when we are about to be so fed up. I feel like I cant cry to him and I feel like sometimes he over looks it like oh she always cries. No Im crying for a reason and I cant control it. He will say "I mean what do you expect me to do, do you think I want to hear you cry" Please tell me this.. why does he say that but when Im sitting there breaking down in front of him he will sit there and hold his head and say Oh My Gosh to himself like irritated sounding. I dont get it bc f he was crying I would hold him as soon as he started and thats what I want from him.
Ive tried to control my emotions but they will build up until I explode with anger at the last straw at him. I have no problem making him the center of my like and loving him so deep beyond imagionation but these things hurt my heart but he hates when I bring stuff up because he thinks its an arguement but its not I just want him to listen and hear me and say how he feels but It never goes that way.

Mirror of Aphrodite said...

@Anonymous Scorpio,
Regretfully, he's an Aries. They're a macho man type, a he-man type, a man's man. And the downside to that personality type is that they can be selfish, callous and cold. And being ruled by Mars, The God of War, they enjoy a good skirmish and they don't take the whole experience as seriously as others may. To them, it's more like entertainment.

He's minimizing your feelings and frankly, he doesn't know how to deal with your emotions. Being the "caveman" type, this isn't really where their expertise lies. And the more you want it, the more an angry Aries will withhold it, out of spite. And this is the reason why I say in this piece that this sign isn't for everyone. Takes a certain person to be able to go the distance with an Aries male. And you, being a Scorpio, you're a water sign. Water equals emotion. He's a Fire sign. Fire equals force. And in astrology, water can snuff out fire. Meaning your emotions can put a damper on his force.

Some Aries can be very understanding, others remain true to the he-man status. He may be the type that jus cannot bring himself to see something from anothers point of view. Because remember, it is all about them hehe. So this is difficult for them.

Try this. Instead of stating what you need and trying to tell him what to do and being emotional while doing so. Why not catch him off guard one day. Why not hug him and while doing so, say something like, "I need this from you every once in a while, it feels so nice." And crack open a conversation right there. Follow it up with, "I wish you'd do this when we fight and I get upset. All I really want you to do is hold me." And then stop right there. Say no more, shed no tears. Pull back, look him in the eye, smile big and give him a kiss, and walk away. Say nothing more and let it sink in.

Delivering the message in that manner may bring about a bit of a transformation on his part and next time, he may just surprise you - by giving you what you need.

CookieMonsta said...

OMG! This is so true.. I never really followed astrology but man, the Aries profile fits 'my guy' to a tee! He plays MAD games! He won't text/call for days, dsappears then re-surfaces. Talks like he wants to get together (he always initiates contact), ACTS like he really wants to see me, and then never comes through. He'll text me the next day like nothing ever happened. I've known him 3 months and have only had one date with him.

He's tall, dark, and handsome. I mean, VERY handsome. He has a bachelors degree & a really prestigious job. He's a very visual person...always asking for pictures of me, yet he won't send me one single picture of him. He says he's a 'G' and it's stupid for him to send pics. He obviously likes me on some level, because he never leaves me alone for too long, but he NEVER lets me know that he likes me. It's frustrating..

He's very sarcastic, egotistical, and thinks he's God's gift. As a matter of fact, one of the first things he ever said to me the very first (and only) date we had was, "You haven't figured out who I am yet?". Well I must admit that this got me curious, so I googled him left and right and found absolutely NOTHING....except that his father is a well-known OB/GYN in our area. Does he think he is someone because his father is?

I've been trying hard to figure this guy out, and I simply CAN'T! It's driving me MAD because I can usually figure someone out pretty quickly. I don't give into his ways though, because I know that's what he wants. If he leaves me hanging, I leave him hanging the next time he tries to reach out to me. He absolutely hates that and will text me with just question marks as if to say what happened with me ("????"). When I finally respond (when I feel like it), he tells me I forget about him or says "Oh, now you remember me", like a little kid that's pouting, yet he can drop me like nothing. I don't contact him first, EVER. He always contacts me first. I'm very independent, confident, and not starving for any man's attention, but he's got me hook, line, and sinker! He's mysterious and intriguing. I love it and hate it all at the same time! Haa! I'm a Leo BTW..HELP!!!!! :)

Anonymous said...

I'm a Virgo,9/17. He's an Aries,3/22. He's had my interest since I first laid eyes on him. We're co-workers, but work indirectly with each other. When we first met, our conversation was interrupted. We didn't talk after that, other than small talk.

Here it is a year later. He knows my boyfriend and I broke up, he made his move. He said he's been observing me this entire time. I was absolutely surprised. I never caught him looking at me. Wow! I thought he didn't think of me at all.

He's gorgeous and sexy. He pays me all of these compliments and says he wants to be with me. I'm everything he wants. He's putting on a full display. We haven't had an opportunity to hang out for me to test him on the things that he says. We talk on the phone for hours at a time. He always calls me.

He's always respectful towards me.He doesn't get out of line (I kind of wish he would :-) ) He says he wants to help me out with whatever I need. He says he will always be honest with me, there's no need for him to lie to me.

I'm already infatuated. I don't want him to get bored/lose interest, so I allow him to chase.

I enjoy the mental banter. I don't have to dumb myself down to make him feel manly. That's so refreshing. I'm gonna make him work.

He's forty-seven, I'm thirty-eight, so we're not kids. The downside is that we have exes that we still reside with. I'm helping my ex get on his feet. He's disentangling himself from his household. I just keep hearing, in my head, how you get them is how you lose them.
I guess I just want to know how do you see this as a long-term match? Are there things that I should look for as he's on the Aries/Pisces cusp, I believe. I'm a Virgo, but I have Libra traits. I can be picky, but I compromise, easily. I'm very laid back, nurturing, very much an earth mother.


Mirror of Aphrodite said...

Yep, he's an Aries LOL. Careful thinking he's "your guy" though. I doubt he's viewing himself in any sort of committment here.

And no, he doesn't think he's someone because his dad is accomplished - he thinks he's someone because he's an Aries male. And I don't say that in a bad way, it's just really who they are. They are VERY focused on SELF.

Just keep doing what you're doing. If he's genuinely interested, eventually, he'll get it together and seek you out. I'm not sure I'd partake in his games though, or fulfill his requests for photos and whatnot. Makes me think he's showing them to friends and just using them to gloat and boast about to people. Like, "Hey, look at this chic. She really wants me." That kinda thing. And DO NOT send this one any provocative or nude photos. I'm getting a weird vibe about his photo requests and lord only knows what he's doing with them.

He's playing games for sure. And sometimes, these Aries do this to get a girl to chase them, only to swat them away. It's strange, but it fulfills an egotistical need. So careful playing along with it all.

He's definitely interested on some level, but his lack of action is concerning so careful how much you give him is all. Don't give in and chase him, do what you're doing and wait for him to really step it up. If he doesn't, he's just a player looking for some female attention to brag about with his buddies. I'd start talking to him like a friend and tell him about dates you've been on with other men. Ask for his opinion on something about a guy hehe. See what his reaction is to that. It may force him into action, it may piss him off, but either way, it'll get his attention.

Keep this one on his toes ;-)

Mirror of Aphrodite said...

Well, being on the Pisces/Aries cusp, chances are he's a bit romantic at heart and slightly more emotional that a hardcore Aries (like the first week of April ones that are a real hoot LOL).

However, a little bit of a Pisces influence may bring some deception into the mix. Not a lot but possibly some white lie kind of stuff. I've found, personally, that the Fire sign Earth sign pairing can drain the Earth sign. And that would be you here. Fire signs are impulsive, they act first, think later. Earth signs are a bit more practical about things.

But then again, there's always the chance that where one has weaknesses, the other can help them there. So he can help you be a bit more impulsive or spontaneous about things and you can help him think first, act later. If it can mesh like that, it can work.

But be aware that Fire (him) can scorch Earth (you) ;-)

But being that he's so very close to the sign of Pisces, I imagine he's a lot more subdued of an Aries that the hardcore ones. I know a lot of softer Aries men that hail from the month of March. And if that's the case, it can be a very good match actually.

CookieMonsta said...

Rest assured he is not getting all of the attention he SO craves, nor is he getting anything but the occasional cute picture of me, WHEN I feel like engaging him....and it's usually hours after he requests one. (NO NAKED PICS! LOL)

I'm in my 30's so I've been around the block enough to know not to let one man hold all of my cards. No expectations, no disappointment.. right? Right. I like him, but I won't let any man run me. I don't care how devastatingly handsome and charming this one is. :)

I'll do my best to keep him on his toes and see where it goes after he's done playing his little games & gets no play from me. LOL! Thanks a bunch! Xo

Anonymous said...

Hay! I am Taurian and Arias man had a crush on me. We were on a party and he was very attentive and made clear notes that he liked me. After party he hasn't messaged or communicated with him so after 2-3 weeks i took the step. He was really mean to me and we had a fight. After that he didn't show up and 2 month later I congratulated with Bday and he behaved like as***e. So i decided not to ever contact him. I did well. It lasted 6 months with 0 contact. His office is near mine and and we never meat during this 6 month period. two weeks ago I crossed over him in cinema. He was with his friend there. When he saw me he was happy but got really confused, nervous and then fell on the stairs :D. We had a general shor conversation and tah ws all. From his behavior i decided that he was still into me so i messaged him after 2 days and he kept the conversation for 3-4 hours. But the conversation was too general and nothing about us :(. Since that day he keeps coming online exactly when I messaged and stays onlain for an hour. Its already 2 weeks since our conversation but it seems that he will never write to me. P.S he is Arias but he is shy too. So any tips how to behave? Should I message him again or wait???

Mirror of Aphrodite said...

No,no, no . . never chase a man, never be the pursuer. Men should be chasing YOU. Women should never chase men, especially an Aries man. They love a challenge, they're ruled by Mars, the God of War. If an Aries man wants you, believe me, he will definitely come seek you out. If he doesn't, then regretfully, he's not into you.

When women throw themselves at men who are only half interested in them, the men sleep with them and then disappear. Because they weren't that interested to begin with. Yet another reason it's not good to pursue a man. If YOU chase HIM, how will you ever know if he likes you or not? If you chase men and act as the aggressor, you're putting yourself out there to be used, then dumped. Don't do that. Let him come to you. Aries men always go after what they truly want. If he doesn't, just accept that it wasn't meant to be and move on. If he is genuinely intereted in you, he'll come find YOU.

Anonymous said...

I need some quick advice ..
I've been dealing with my aries guy on and off since high school. He was 18 & i was 17, now he's 22 ( April 5th) & Im 21 (August 27th) Im a virgo of course :) we are VERY attracted to each other, he loves my big eyes and i love his body. Sometimes we just stare at each other and smile or we will hug for a long time. We barley argue, but i do get rude when he makes me, he does the same. He says he loves me but he shows me way more. Im not really emotional so he's never seen or heard me cry but he never makes me that mad. He call me every day or text me. He likes feeding me too lol ( i love my food ) but in May we got into an argument and we haven't talk since. I reached out to him in June through my best friend Facebook and he replied saying he wasn't going to call me i was like ok fine! I left him alone and months went by and i started missing him alot so i wrote him on Facebook again saying i wanted to talk to him and i also asked how he was doing and if he wants me to leave him alone tell me and i will go away. He replied saying we can talk and he asked for my number and i gave it too him. But its been 6 days and he hasn't called? Im a little worried, Omg started to think he won't call me so we can really talk :( ??? Any advice? I don't have his number because i got my new phone around May. This has never happen to me. There was 1 time when i stopped talkin to him for 10 months and he came back and we acted like nothing ever happened, when He seen me after all that time he ran to me and we hugged and talked in the middle of the parking lot for 30 mins. Real tight :) but now Im scared, what if were really over and i LOVE him. I want us to work, its like that little disagreement back in May hurt us. He was upset with his mom and school and he's real close to her but he was giving me attitude when i was tryin to talk to him so me being a virgo i got mad and i hung up! That was it! I just wish he would call or text me :( i don't want to stalk him because i never had too but its like dang ugh ... What do you guys think? Im just scared ...

Anonymous said...

Love Aries guys

Mirror of Aphrodite said...

Six days is nothing in a man's world. Women insist on everything in an immediate state. Men are not like this. Their sense of time is very different from a woman's and they take much longer to process things.

He may not decide to have this talk for a month or so. He may not want to have a "talk" at all. He may prefer to act as if nothing happened. When a woman tells a man that she'd like to "talk" - men back away from that. Talking means sharing and listening to emotions and men do not like the world of emotions in general. It makes them very uncomfortable, it's no fun and it feels like work. So they simply avoid it at all costs.

Sit tight. When he's ready, he'll come around.

Anonymous said...

Let me start off by saying everything you said about aries is true. I have been with my aries bf for 2 1/2 years (april 9) I really dont understand him noithing I do is ever good enough for him he wants more and more and if things dont go his way the im just this ungreatful person who he does so much for and gets nothing back in return. For the second time this year he has broken up with me because "i dont make him happy and i argue with him to much" when i dont understand how that can be when i have done everthing in my power to make him happy and to show him i got his back so now for the last 3 weeks he has been ignoring me the only time he will call is to see how our daughter is doing if i call him he ignores me if i txt him he wont respond and this weekend when i went to drop all his stuff off at his house because we are no longer together he opened the door took his bag from me and said nothing to me last weekend i went on vacation and he called me at 9pm asking to speak to our daughter when he knew she was sleep it seems the more i beg him to work it out he pushes me away and when i act like i dont care he chases me but as soon as i mention us he backs off im confused i need advice

Mirror of Aphrodite said...

Well . . yep, he's an Aries - alpha male. And sometimes, the only thing they understand is - a dose of their own medicine. If you chase an Aries, they view it as weakness and will retailiate with cruelty. If you run, they pursue because they feel the need to "win" at all costs (success).

So here's what you do with this one. He needs to notice you, he needs to think about you and he needs to receive the same treatment he gives you. You DO NOT contact this one. If you do, it's only about your daughter. Period. If he attempts to open up conversation or fight with you when you do - you hang up on him. Cut him off immediately and without his say-so in the matter.

You DO NOT text him, unless it's about your daughter. And if he attempts an argument (ruled by Mars, The God of War) again - click. All he hears is silence. This will signal a VERY strong message to him:

1.) He is NOT in control here
2.) He no longer has ANY control over YOU
3.) He is no longer the center of YOUR world
4.) He has been pushed to the back burner and is no longer a priority to you
5.) You are your own woman now that he's let you go
6.) He can no longer dictate to you how you should behave towards him
7.) He'll wonder if another man is on the scene

When he attempts to engage you in battle, you hang up on him and disappear. When he rings you, you don't answer, you call back hours later. When he texts you, you don't respond for hours or days. He no longer gets your full attention, unless it concerns your daughter. When you see him, you don't look him in the eye, you look down or away from him, don't speak directly to him, don't answer his questions. You simply do what needs to be done and move along - quickly. That 9pm call, you don't answer them (because you're too busy, off living your own life now, happily, without him.) When you answer his calls like that, you are actually reassuring him that he's still important to you, that no other man is on the scene and that you're sitting around, with nothing to do. That's a big no no. Because when he gets that reassurance, he doesn't have to try. He doesn't have to work anything out, he doesn't have to lift a finger - because you're right there. It tells him there's nothing to worry about and no need to do anything. A big no no. He was testing you there. Testing to see if you were out having fun. And by you answering, you signaled to him that "no" you weren't. I'm quite sure he was very happy about that so you don't give him anything like that to go on. You signal to this one that you're done, you're moving on, he has no control and this is over. (Even if it isn't, you DO NOT let HIM know that because that gives HIM POWER.)

And dear God, do not beg an Aries. Never ever. They will look down on you as pathetic. And what you need here is for him to admire you, you're strength and your ability to let go and move on. Begging and pleading and crying with an Aries male will only make them treat you cruel and mean (because they know they have the upper hand and they have a tendency to drive the knife even further when they have that advantage.)

Cont . . .

Mirror of Aphrodite said...

You need to take away any and all advantages he has with you. You need to take control, stand your ground and remind him - you no longer have to ANSWER TO HIM. He's no longer a priority and you two are no longer together, so he has ZERO control over you. Period.

Do ALL of this and begin IMMEDIATELY. Do not buckle, because he'll be watching for that to call your bluff. He made the choice to not be with you - AND YOUR JOB NOW IS TO REMIND HIM OF THAT. And not through words, but through ACTIONS. That's what men understand. They don't hear all that talk that women do. They only hear ACTION.

So by you blowing him off, leaving him in the dust, not treating him like a priority and showing him that you're completely fine without him and that you're now moving on and leaving him in the past - this will remind him that this was HIS choice and that he now has lost ALL control over you and your decisions.

And you don't buckle on this. Not for one moment. Even when he comes after you (because he definitely will after all this and with a vengence) you stand strong, you remind him that this was his decision and that you no longer have to answer to him because of it. You continue to ignore his calls, texts, demands, even if he begins chasing you. You run, run, run. You run and the only time you stop, is when he circles back around to you and BEGS YOU to reconsider HIS TERRIBLE MISTAKE. And you run until he reaches that point. One phone call or two weeks of chasing DOES NOT get him back in the door. That's too easy. He needs to pursue you for a solid month or two and really miss you and really reconsider his actions before you even ever look him in the eye. And the only way he'll ever begin to think like that or go through those thoughts or emotions is if you FORCE him too by being unavailable to him, moving on, ignoring him, ignoring his calls, not speaking to him on the phone at all, etc. Because if he gets you on the line or gets your attention, he gets the reassurance he'll be seeking and he won't move through any of those thoughts or emotions.

So now, you're job is to do ALL of this to make HIM think - and think HARD and LONG on it. Until he reaches the point of no return, can no longer stand it, and BEGS YOU to take HIM back.

Mirror of Aphrodite said...

Oh and also . . you never talk about "us" or even get involved in those conversations from this point forward - even if he says he's ready to talk. You are now NOT ready to talk, so he doesn't get the chance to manipulate you and easily win you back.

If he starts that under the guise of calling about your daughter - click.

Anonymous said...

Thanks for ur advice Omg I know this is gonna be hard but I can do it my only concern is that he will move on because he thinks I have moved onThis man is very evil im scared of the outcome

MMB said...

@Anonymous - actually it will NOT be hard. TRUST ME! In fact Mirror is SO right. Once you have that control, it’s empowering! And you will know exactly when you’ve gained that control. But you have to do exactly as Mirror says.

@ Mirror – I wrote to you back on August 7th (I was anonymous) about the guy I’d been seeing for about 6 months. Well, here I am now. About a month ago, I’d had enough of this whole relationship or whatever it was we had going on. Because aries take take take and never give. This whole “relationship” had never been defined. I didn’t know what was going on between us and I was really just ready to move on. From one day to the next, I was done. I decided to break up with him, through TEXT! That’s right. Not even willing to see him to do it in person. You know why? Because I didn’t want to give him that control. I figured we’d both be completely fine with it. Why be in something for 7 months and have NO idea what the hell you are in? Thought I’d make it easier for the both us of us.

Well, Mr. Aries wasn’t having none of that. He texted me back sweet talking. Saying STUPID things like “what? We can’t cuddle anymore?” really!? How childish is that sh*t? They’ll do that! To which from me got NO response. This is how they will act. So you STAY strong and DO NOT respond. He texted me for 2 days after. To which I didn’t respond. Finally 5 days later after multiple texts of him telling me he wanted to talk, I responded to his text and said “there is absolutely nothing to talk about.” That was it. No other response. You MUST be very cut and dry. Do you understand?? I’m dead serious. And like I said.. it will get better as you start to gain more control.

Finally I answered his text about wanting to talk. I said “FINE.” Just like that. He asked immediately if he could come over to talk that day. I said no. I told him I was willing to talk to him but not today. I told him I was available on Thursday (which was 4 days later! HA!). So, come Thursday I met him at his place because I had keys and what not to return to him. When I get there he starts asking me questions as to why I just broke off with him from one day to another. I responded in a very cold and calm tone “no no, I’ve said everything I need to say. YOU wanted to talk, so talk, and I can be on my way please.”

MMB said...


Where I got the strength to be so cold, I have NO idea? I wouldn’t even look him in the eyes. Well.. that’s when it all went down. This man starts CRYING!! Tears… from his eyes! You don’t understand. This is the MOST hard a$$ and emotionless man I know. Someone who hasn’t talked about his feelings in 7 months (nor did I ever talk about my feelings, but still). Telling me how much he wants to be with me, how he was so stupid to take advantage of the situation because I never asked anything of him. How I’m the most amazing person, blah blah blah. Basically, everything that should have been said the last 7 months, he said. Even when he was pouring his feelings out to me I would not look at him. He once tried to put his hand on my knee and I moved away. I did not say ONE word as he’s pouring out his feelings. Well.. after about an hour of that he BEGGED that we please start from where we left off. To which I responded no because “I” did not know what “I” wanted. Just because they beg you to come back, and TRUST ME, they will BEG, you MUST act like you don’t care. Even if you do. Because I did! But you CAN NOT let them know that.

I told him all I could offer him was to start over again. And no more of this non emotional, not talking about us bullsh*t. And we could see what happens. But a commitment I WAS NOT giving him. Take it or leave it. He took it. At that time I got up to leave. He looked at me like I was crazy, because of course they want to get you in bed. DO NOT DO IT! Walk away. I did.

Well, let me tell you. It’s a month later. And Mr. Aries man… I don’t even KNOW who this person is. He is the most attentive, sweet person ever. Don’t get me wrong, he’s still his little macho “I’m the man” person, but wow what a difference! And me, I’m still in control and I DON’T put up with his crap. This whole fiasco has changed my character towards him. I can’t explain it? It’s not emotionally draining anymore. It’s not confusing. I know where I stand. And where I stand is, if he pulls this bullsh*t with me ever again, I will leave him SO fast just like I did last time. And he KNOWS that. But if you’re going to act this way, you better be prepared to WALK AWAY!

So Mirror – EVERYTHING you said is SO true! I was laughing so hard when reading what you wrote today, because 99.9% of what you said to do I did (before reading it too)… and it worked!

But let me tell you, it takes a VERY strong women (person) to do this. No matter WHAT sign a man is. But Aries men are “extra” special. And if you go into it thinking “this is going to be so hard” you aren’t going to do it! Sorry to tell you! You have to go into this thinking “F*CK HIM!” Thinking about YOU. Do exactly what he does. ME ME ME. That’s what I did. Give them a taste of their own medicine. Totally cliché… but you don’t know what you got till it’s gone…

The Mirror of Aphrodite said...

And there it is, hehe ;-)

Yes, this works. And yes, you MUST be strong, never waver or they'll smell your hesitation and take control and advantage again.

And the entire point of walking away and standing strong is 1.) you're now looking out for yourself and 2.) FORCING them to think about what they've done and how they've acted. And men. . .I have no clue why. . .many times, they must be forced to do this. If they get their way all the time, they never think, they just don't.

So good for you and thanks for returning here to let the other ladies know that this does, indeed, work.

Here's the one single thing that women tend to let take control (rather than themselves taking control) - FEAR.

Fear that he won't come back, fear that he won't love you, and the biggest of all - fear of being alone. As a woman, you need to drop the fear, don't let it steer the wheel or it'll drive you and the relationship into a ditch. Remove the fear and the power comes into play.

Don't ever fear being alone. I have a friend whose grandmother always said, "Everytime a man walk out the door, there's another one shoving his way into it."

Very true, ladies. You'll never have to worry about being alone, you're women. You have the power, you have the va-gi-gi girls hehe. There's always going to be a man who wants to be near you, so drop the fear and start sorting through those men, picking one for yourself, rather than letting them pick you.

Even if it takes weeks or months . . they all come back.

Anonymous said...

@MMB thanks for that advice. Im going to forsure try this because I cant take no more of this man he know that right now he is in control and he tells me everyday that he knows for a fact that im not going any where so im determined to show him different So far I have not contacted him for 2 day which is really good for me because I always say im not going to contact him but my emotions get the best of me and sure enough by the end of the day i end up calling him. hopefully this works and he learns his lession and hopefully when he finally does learn his lession I still want to be with him because the way im feeling right now idk. the way he is acting makes me feel that he has very little respect for me and the way he talks is so arrogent and disrespectful. However I will keep u updated on the outcome.

SuperCoolNinja said...

I'm a cancer and you were pretty spot on. All of the aries I've known were that way! I'm Born in the week of the unconventional so I find odd things a little more attractive but Aries are definitely not my type, I don't want a constant battle or challenge, my friendship with Arians never lasts for more than a couple of days.

mmb said...

I'm a cancer as well. But i have very strong Aquarius traits in my chart (aqua moon & ascendant, mars in Gemini, venus in leo)Sags are my thing, both friendship and love. I don't know why, but i cling to them like moths to a flame. LOVE THEM! I have some aries friends, but never love interests. I get very easily bored, and can easily fall into the friendship role. Which sometimes comes across as me being emotionally detached. Which ding ding ding…works with Aries. They take it as if I’m playing hard to get. I’m not. I’ve just got my own life! Aries don’t know that’s it’s NOT about them. Because they think EVERYTHING revolves around them. So I think if you naturally have this type of character, it might work.

Aries are something else let me tell you. I have a very good girlfriend who is an Aries. She has a VERY strong personality. Head strong. That's something that both Aries men and women carry. But you know what the best thing about them is? They can move on from something without looking back. You get mad, say I’m sorry, move on. I LOVE this trait! They don’t let it fester. I can see why women might not like this, because women SAY they’ve moved on from an issue, and that’s usually NOT the case. They let in simmer and will bring it up again. Trust me! I know! Most of my friends are male and I have only 3 really good girlfriends for this same reason. So I can see why some women might not work out well with Aries men. They just don’t have a lot of emotion to give when it comes to reasoning a problem.

@supercoolninja – I get what you mean about the constant battle of challenge. I agree, if this is something you’re not used to, it’s not worth it. I don’t like it either. However, I think I might be biting my words, because clearly this has kept me interested, which is rare. Again, I don’t know how to explain it.

Anonymous said...

Hiya everyone, I'm a Leo lady who's got what i can only call a 'thing' going on with a first week of April Aries. 'yes he wickedly hot' To be honest I never know whether I'm coming or going, i flit back and fore between wanting to kiss him and wanting to punch him in the face. As a leo myself I know all about dealing with an ego but this Aries, i think he loves himself more than i love my mirror. So we play the ignoring game quite alot and we play fight and wind each other up when we're together its great cause i don't take no shit off him and he loves it, but over text and facebook he comes off a bit of a knob lol he'll do this whole ignoring me thing, then he'll text me and i'll ignore him, he'll always text after an hour or 2 of my ignoring him 'works every time' We haven't slept together yet, i've been giving him the run around for 2 months and let me tell you it's been hard, this guy is smoking hot sadly he also knows this. So yeah i'm looking for tips on how to keep him on his toes and also anyone out there had or having a leo/aries thing going on and can offer up some advice..lol. Thanx in advance. Brilliant thread x

Anonymous said...

This is really an eye-opener. I'm March 4th and he's March 26th. One thing I'm certain abt is the fact that I'm hopelessly in love with him and he really loves me too (aldoe I try to conceal mine as much as I can). Our first meeting was a chase, he won't take no for an answer. We got together and he was very caring, attentive, visited often, went on dates etc! Our first fight came 3 weeks after we met, he cancelled a date without my prior knowledge and I switched off. Didn't pick his calls and all...he got worried and when I eventually called after 4 days; he gave me the attitude but sent a text to say he rili missed me and called later at night to apologize and we spoke for long. All was well, till he disappeared. Tried to call him couple of times and he wasn't so responsive. So I stopped (aldoe I thought abt him every single day). After a while, he started calling but I didn't call or meet with him for abt 3 weeks. I eventually decided to meet. We met and decided to give it a try again. Plssss what should I and shouldn't do? I really love to keep him....he is my 10.

Thank you
Hopeless romantic

The Mirror of Aphrodite said...

Keep doing what you've been doing. Don't always give in to him simply because he demands you too and keep a healthy distance of sorts, until he proves to you that he can and will stick around and stop playing power games.

The Mirror of Aphrodite said...

@Anonymous Leo Lady,
I think you're already doing a fine job of keeping him on his toes. Aries/Leo is a combo that can work. Bottom line with an Aries - keep running, and they'll keep chasing. It's really that simple.

Tessa said...

I know an aries guy from work at the moment and his extroverted personality is so...I dunno, but I'm a sagittarius female and I guess I kinda fancy him because I'm looking your page and its scarily true. The bad thing is I don't get exactly get strong feelings he likes me back. I'm also extremely introverted so upon reading this and other definitions of an aries, I am terrified of attempting to even think of us being together (I don't think I will be able to challenge him in any way). I'd like to also say that I didn't like him at first either when I started work and he has even had a few impulsive (but mean) jibes at me that has had me seething at him - I completely ignored him or made it apparent I was angry at him - and in return, I noticed he had tried to been nice to me. There was one time he even followed me around just to talk to me. I honestly don't know what this guy wants from me. I read that if an aries man likes you, he will be honest/blunt/direct about it. I've got nothing so far, but if you have any advice, I'm all ears.

Anonymous said...

Aries are so exhausting, they are so exhausting that I can barely write this post without feeling exhausted at the thought of writing it. The answer to putting up with an Aries I think is just getting on with your life, and letting fate run its course. I am single and looking for Mr. Right. I have had an Aries dude on my tail for the past 7 months. Well, I've given him my requirements - "I want a monogamous relationship, that leads to marriage and not interested in a casual fling." A year ago, I broke up with my boyfriend (a Pisces) who loves me, but doesn't really want to get married (back and forth, back and forth, until I got fed up). So, I am looking for someone who genuinely does. But this Aries guy doesn't seem to GET that at the very least, I want something that has the beginnings of a serious relationship. I get the impression that it's taking him a long time to process. He disappears and comes back after analysing and analysing, but he still reaches his conclusion - A desire to sleep with me. So infuriating. I am almost in awe at how simple-minded he is. We had our second date in 7 months (after I ignored his texts - yes girls, he tried to make me his text buddy) and I still stubbornly gave him my requirements. He's gone again. It's been a week. Next time he returns, I will use MMB's trick.

I am a Libra btw.

On a different note, my male Aries best friend who has stuck with me through thick and thin and helped me through my breakup and as well as settle into a new country has gone completely AWOL. If you see him, tell him I said HI.

The Mirror of Aphrodite said...

OMG, that was a great post, I laughed out loud reading that - it echos my sentiments about many of the Aries men I know . . to a T.

I gotta' hand it to the women who have the gumption to put up with these cavemen. And what's even worse is, the more you ignore them, the more you run from them, the worse you treat them - the stronger they come at you. It's like they just don't get it. "What?! You don't see that I'm wonderful???"

However, I have many (approximately 5 at this point in time) that I am great friends with. But even still, we have spats all the time and I tell them their a pain in the butt because they're constantly trying to prove me wrong about something stupid and I just blow them off and it irritates them to no end. So we go round and round and round.

I pissed one of them off so bad, he hasn't come around in months. He saw me in traffic one day and almost fell out of the car window waving at me (half his body was literally out the window like "Look at me, it's me! Me, me, me!") - and I looked right at him and kept on going, LOL.

So exhausting.

This one will show up at your door one day, bonk you on the head with a stick, and drag you off to his den by your hair ;-) LOL!

Anonymous said...

Can someone help me in regards to understanding an Aries man? My ex-boyfriend and I met back in 2009 and at the time I was not really interested in him. He pursued me for a year and a half until we finally became romantically involved. Once we did, i had moved away for a job and after a few months I had returned. I returned because I had lost my job and of course during that time I couldn’t handle things and I broke up with him. We ended on really good terms and after a month we hung out together. A month after that we saw each other by chance in a different state and ended up spending the evening together. From there we ended up getting back together and were dating. After about 3 months he became extremely ill and ended up having surgery. It was a long recovery and I was not able to see him. Once he started to feel somewhat normal something happened and we/he saw me as a friend and no longer as a girlfriend. I told him I couldn’t continue to see him as I had wanted more and for me to move on I needed to break all ties with him. He contacted me 7 weeks later and we hungout again. He kept saying it was so great to spend time with me and mentioned it 5 times the first time we saw eachother. we hungout 1 more time after that and it was then that I followed up with an email saying I really couldn’t hangout with him anymore. Ok, so 5 weeks later he invites me out and says whenever he has tickets to concerts he always thinks of me first. He invited me to go to an event he was hosting and during that time, while we were only friends, he would look across the crowd and lock-in and smile at me as well as held my hand as we went to an event right after his party. At the event, I asked him if the girl who was buy herself was his girlfriend and while he tried to deny it, I called him out on it and said I saw you kiss her. As it turns out, his best-friend pulls me aside and says “Here is what happened. He didn’t find out that she was coming until the last minute and didn’t know what to do. He said he didn’t want to hurt me and his friend said why…Do you love her?” His answer was “no.” Why did the Aries man do this to me and why does he keep calling me back into his life?? I never deserved to be hurt the way he hurt me?

MMB said...

@Anonymous: I laughed at your post too. Typical Aries man. And you said it so well, the best thing to do with an Aries is get on with your life. I cannot stress this enough, you MUST have your own life and do your own thing. In order for them to want you, they need to see that you don’t NEED them. I know many women see this as playing games, but it’s not. Come on girls! This should be of the norm. With ANY man. We SHOULD have our own lives. Aries are just especially prone to gravitate to this behavior more so than others. And well, they’re weirdos!

When did you give him your “requirements.” I only ask (and please don’t take this the wrong way), because women go into what they want out of a relationship as soon as they meet someone. I mean, can you imagine first meeting someone and telling them you want a committed relationship that leads to marriage?? They get freaked the CLUCK out. I would! I know you’re not saying that you want that with “THEM” but that’s what they hear. Men aren’t very smart. Now, 7 months, 2 dates, disappears/reappears. When he reappears you give him your “requirements” again. To him what you’re doing is restricting him, telling him what to do. That’s what he’s feeling so he runs. My advice to you, STOP! Stop talking to him about your feelings and what you want. When you stop doing this, he’ll be wondering WHY you’re not talking about what you want anymore. He knows what you want, you’ve told him. So stop telling him. And go out and meet other people.

I’m going into 8 months of being with this Aries, and we are just now starting to do the whole “lovey dovey feelings thing.” So if you don’t have the patience and want to know where you stand right away or where you could possibly stand, this is prob not the person for you. Aries well, how can I say this, run on slow motion when it comes to commitment. Seriously! Yes at first they jump straight in, but they get bored from one day to the next. If you are capable of getting past that and keeping their interest, then both of you are meant for each other and it will be good. BUT you have to get past that first round. They will test you!

I have a very good Aries male friend and I just absolutely ADORE him! We get along so well. Sometimes I can talk to him 10 times a day, sometimes I won’t hear from him for a month or 2. As soon as he texts/calls me, it’s like nothing ever changed. I love that. And he loves that he has a great girlfriend who isn’t needy and asking him questions. Aries don’t do well with needy!

Every person needs something from a relationship. However crazy you might think Aries are, one thing you can be sure about is, it’s very cut and dry for them. If he hasn’t called you in a month, I’m sorry, it’s time you to move on. There’s a difference between not calling for a day and not calling for weeks. If he likes you, he’ll call. If he only calls you for sex, well, he only wants sex. Yes, he may be all sweet in bed, however, remember what he called you for in the first place, sex. Don’t take this as “emotion.” He was just horny. If he gets mad because you’re not putting out, well, he only wants you for sex. If you’ve had a 2nd date in 7 months, well, it’s a casual fling. I really really REALLY don’t mean to sound harsh, because it’s not. It’s just very cut and dry. It is what it is. There’s no reading into it required. This is an Aries man for you. (or most men at that)

MMB said...

@anonymous (2) – Ok so, I’ll give my disclaimer first, please don’t take anything I say the wrong way, because it’s going to be blunt. With regard to your ex, please know that you are now in the friendship zone. You haven’t moved on, but he has. I’m sure he still loves and cares for you, but not romantically. You have to understand this. Him being sweet to you, holding your hand, inviting you to a party, is just him being a friend. I do this with my male friends all the time. He didn’t tell you about the other girl because 1) he doesn’t want to hurt your feelings and 2) it might damper his chances of getting some nookie. Now, I’m not saying you did, but if you were intimate with him at any point in time when all this is happening, please don’t take that as him wanting to be with you. Aries men are very sexual. And they just want sex. I know for women it’s difficult for us to understand this because sex to us comes with emotion. Not to men and ESPECIALLY not Aries men. Now, you told him you couldn’t see him anymore, but when he called, you saw him. This happened more than once. He knows whenever he wants, you’re available.

“Why did the Aries man do this to me and why does he keep calling me back into his life?? I never deserved to be hurt the way he hurt me?” – what did he do to hurt you? Break up with you? Tell you that he only saw you as a friend? People break up all the time. He didn’t do anything (well at least from what you’ve written). Aries men are NOTORIOUS for being or wanting to be friends with their exes. They’re not BAD people. They do care you know? So yes, he keeps calling you back into his life (as a friend), but YOU keep answering. Don’t look into it more than what it really is. If you can’t handle the emotional aspect of being friends, YOU are the one that has to stop answering. Because he’s going to keep calling. You told him you wanted more, and he doesn’t. You told him you couldn’t hang out with him anymore, but you don’t keep your word. You DON’T deserve to be hurt this way. You’re right! However, you need to realize that you’re the one putting yourself in the position to be hurt. Not him. Be strong! And move on. Hope this helps =)

Anonymous said...

Hello MMB,

Thank you for the input. Yes, it was what I needed to hear and I gues I just didn't understand the guy and his gestures. While we have not been intimate since we officially dated, I don't think he was calling me just for sex and I do think he was trying to hide the fact that he was dating her (present tense) since he referred to her as past and his BFF said no, they are dating now. You are correct, it is my fault and please tell me if I am over dramatic, but I did block him on my cell phone and email so that he cannot contact me. He can only call me on my home phone which I know he won't do. I guess this is the closure I needed. I just can't believe how he once saw us married, picked out our children's names and said he wanted to take me back to where he went to undergrad/law school to watch a football game this year. His is toying with my feelings. Any last words of advice?

Anonymous said...

Oh, and in regards to my requirements, I told him this after a year of dating and I was there for his major surgery and after he said he saw us married and picked out our children's names. He pursued me for a year and a half until I said I would go out with him.

Anonymous said...

Weird ive been with my aries for about a year... hes very calm cool collective.. humble... does not like to argue ..although sometimes he can be ino himself..but nothing like ive read here

Anonymous said...

I agree with some of the issues discussed here, but like with all qualities in astrology looking at only negative issues without a context can draw a wrong kind of picture. I'm a libra woman in love with aries man. We have been together over a year now and its been the best time of my life! We were instantly attracted to each other and without knowing how to act with Aries man, I was playing hard to get as he had to give me his contact details and wait for me to contact etc. We love each other very much and show it every day. He surprizes me all the time and is sexually very direct and daring (love it...). I am very independent person and I think my aries loves that side of me as he is also doing a lot of his own things. It has helped me to understand him to know that Aries men really need to be alone sometimes and to do their own things, where as libras tend to like to do things together all the time... so he has thought me to be more "selfish" and to look at life a bit more relaxed way. It is true that Aries men are the ultimate males of the universe :) BUT they have a fantastic romantic side in them if you have the patience to get there. They will show it, if they are in love... They are direct and exciting bunch of people.

annonymous said...

I met an Aries man 5 days ago. He contacted and met with me the first two days. The third day he invited me to join him and his friends and I was unable. He said that was Ok, and looked forward to seeing me in the next few days. I said that would be wonderful. I haven't heard a word from him in 2 days. I thought about sending him a short sassy/flirty text ..but after reading all of this, I'm wondering if I should. I read if an Aries man likes you, you won't be able to shake him...
So how do I handle this...stay cool and wait ..or send a text?

The Mirror of Aphrodite said...

Yes, wait him out. Two days is nothing in a man's world. Women want daily communication, men don't. They like to miss a woman, to long for her. Men equate longing with love. And Aries men despise being pursued. They are the pursuer. If they want you, they'll come find you.

Besides, it's NEVER a good idea for a woman to initiate contact with a man, or chase him, or be the pursuer or the one proposing dates, etc. It looks desperate to them, it overwhelms them, it turns them off. Might want to give this piece a read:


Hang in there, he'll be in touch in a week or two. Let him come to you. Don't throw yourself at him or he'll use you and then disappear on you.

annonymous said...

Ok..read the link. It confirmed my thoughts.
Thank You !!

@b0li...!! said...

I am an aries girl fallen for this aries guy. We are in same class since 2 years. He flirted with me
when i did not give him enough attention. He used to tease me deliberately to which i always responded as he was someone who is hard to ignore.But then things changed, he began ignoring me, this made me restless and I told him that I like him and he responded "not now". After 3 months while my friend was teasing me about him, he said "didn't you remember I rejected her on the phone?". I was hurt so i tried to start an arguement via texting but he didn't reply. The Mirror Aphrodite, how can i make him to realise that he likes me. My friends say that he becomes hell jealous when i talk to his best friend!

The Mirror of Aphrodite said...

It's not that easy. You can't make someone like you. And even if they do like you, you can't make them ready for a relationship and you can't make them want one with you.

You have no choice here. You have to wait and see.

@b0li...!! said...

You know what i think that i should move on i don't
think this aries guy wants me anymore. He niether calls or reply my texts....he is self centered and very egoistic... i don't think something is ever going to happen between us.....i'll miss him.

Anonymous said...

Aquarius Female .. Aries Male and I have been FWB/dating basically for 2 yrs. He acts like he cares at times then backs off.. Hot cold back and forth. He even had a few GFs when we just met but he would still want to see me. He could never go more than a week without seeing me. I also noticed he gets upset when I do not respond right away or ignore him. Well He deployed for a yr. we talked every day and he said I could move in to his house while he was gone since I needed a place to stay. I said I was not so sure. Told him I could not just be friends anymore. Told him tired of the hot cold and that I had more feelings so if he did not want anything more then i would move on and would have no more contact with him. He was going back and forth so I stopped talking. He then played it like he wanted a relationship. Said he realized he would not like me to be out of his life. Said that he would tell his family about us etc.. So I move in. he comes back month later met him with his family. He is distant after 3rd day. 1 week later he only wants to be friends.. he says not even sex so i will not get hurt. Got in fight about it and he asked me to move out. I called him an @$$ and told him how disappointed i was in him we did not talk for a few weeks while he was out of town seeing kids. He changes his mind 2 weeks later when he gets back and says well you dont have to leave..We can be just friends and I want to be friend you deserve im sorry it did not work and how i treated you. Of course we still have sex. That has always been amazing with us. We still do things like a couple but he wants to see other people. I know he would probably flip if i dated even if he would not directly admit it. So now its been about 1 1/2 months since hes been home. He says he is going to spend weekend with girl he had briefly went out with a few times before when we were fwb. He had told me so many times he did not like her and felt nothing .. now he says maybe he does. I love him he knows it but dont know what to do or if this can work as a relationship. We got in huge fight about him leaving I called him names and told him how disrespectful he is but he ended up being all passionate and we had sex night before he left. I am thinking of leaving moving out and no contact and see if he realizes that he does care.. I really do love him any advice?

The Mirror of Aphrodite said...

@Aquarius Female,
Well, here's the thing. And I'm not being rude or mean here, I'm just going to call this like I see it - and many of us women have been there, so this is nothing to be embarrassed about or feel bad about - it's a learning experience is all.

But the deal is, when a woman has sex with a man and settles for a FWB situation from him - he's not required to lift a finger for her. He gets what he wants and he gives very little in return. And when he gets what he wants - what reason does that give him to DO more? This type of situation causes a man to think like this, "Why enter into a relationship when I'm getting what I want right now? What would I get from a relationship that I'm not already getting? Nothing. There's no need."

Ever hear that old saying, "Why buy the cow when you're getting the milk for free?" There's no need to buy the cow - you're already getting what you want - for free. And when you flip flop and don't hold firm with him and then reward his bad behavior and poor treatment of you with sex, he REALLY has no reason to enter into a relationship. He's getting EVERYTHING he wants NO MATTER how ignorant he is. He isn't suffering any consequences and he has no reason to treat you better or commit to you because - he GETS what HE wants even if he's ignorant and treats you poorly and takes you for granted.

By giving away the milk for free, demanding nothing for yourself in return and not holding him accountable for treating you poorly - he doesn't have any reason to change things. Because no matter what, he gets rewarded with sex anyway. It creates a spoiled brat of a man.

If a child or a dog misbehaves - you don't reward them with a treat. Same with men. If they misbehave and treat you badly - you don't reward them with sex, attention and affection. You never reward negative behavior - you dish out consequences for it. If you don't, you will be used and taken for granted. Those actions from a woman basically signal this to a man, "It's okay, treat me bad, treat me poorly. Be ignorant and rude to me, be mean and hurtful. Because no matter what you do, I will always reward you for it."

A woman would never say that to a man, yet lots of women's actions say this to men everyday. And then the woman wonders why she's not being treated right. Well . . it's because you're not demanding to be treated better. You're settling for less, so less is what you get. See what I mean?

Cont . . .

The Mirror of Aphrodite said...

And when I say demand better for yourself, I don't mean with words. I mean with ACTION. If he's an ass, you walk. You don't accept his calls for at least a month. You disappear off his radar and see if he misses you. When he rings you, you don't jump and answer the phone. You really drive this message home and you give him a good old taste of what his life would be like without you. It's one of the only ways to make a man think and stop taking a woman for granted and realize he cares for her.

Trouble is, when women do this and the man calls - and BAM, they jump. They make it really easy for the guy to get back in the door. The man gets laid again right away and a week later, it's back to the old ways again. Which is why it's incredibly necessary to be really firm and stick to your guns about this with men. If you don't love yourself, respect yourself and demand proper treatment for yourself - who's going to do that for you? No one. No one but you.

He's getting all the benefits of a relationship here without having to give a thing in return for it. He doesn't have to earn anything here, yet he's rewarded with sex regularly, even when he doesn't deserve it. He doesn't have to earn anything here, it's being given for free. Naturally, he's happy and he sees no reason for anything to change.

He's getting the milk for free so he sees no need to buy the cow.

You need to walk. And you need to stay away for at least a month, even two. Let him go see these other women, let him miss you. If he calls during that month or two, you don't answer, you don't return those calls. You don't text, you don't communicate at all. You stay gone and you return those calls and/or texts one to two months later - after he's had lots of time to think about his behavior and after he's had lots of time to miss you. It's the only way to attempt to salvage this and make him respect you and treat you as you deserve to be treated. And you do that with him from this day forward. Even if after two months he comes back with his head screwed on straight - if he acts up again, you rinse and repeat. You disappear all over again. And you make dishing out consequences for bad behavior a regular part of the routine. Then what happens is, after he realizes, "Hey, everytime I'm mean to her, she leaves. I don't want her to leave, therefore, I can't treat her this way."

Then your problem is solved. But you MUST stick to your guns with this process and you have to get comfortable walking away and dishing out consequences when needed. And don't fear walking away, they'll come back. They all come back.

annonymous said...

Met an Aries man, waited awhile before accepting a date. When we went on our first date, it was just coffee for about half an hour. Later that week he wanted to go to dinner...we did. The Aries charm was in full swing. We hit it off fantastically. When he brought me home neither of us wanted to say goodnight, so he bought a bottle of wine and up to my apartment we went. We kissed alot and it was going further than I cared for it to go. I told him to stop, and he did so politely. But, instead of staying and continuing our wonderful evening (it was early yet) ... he got up and left. My initial impression was one that I really want to know this guy, he's wonderful. But after reading the above posts ... will he ever call me again after not getting sex. Believe me, I know my worth, it's not a matter of being needy for a jerk...I just wonder if an Aries is so crushed by rejection that he won't bother to try again. He was not arrogant or pushy, and was very kind when he left...but he left so abruptly.

The Mirror of Aphrodite said...

Ever hear the old saying, "The bigger they are, the harder they fall."

Aries have big egos. And when their ego is bruised, yea, it's a long way down. However, they have an asset - they get over things quick. Additionally, they're incredibly determined to go after that which they desire.

So yea, they hit the ground hard. Then they get up and go right on carrying on. If his ego was bruised, too bad. Time to put his big boy pants on. What are you going to do . . sleep with a man because you're more worried about his ego and whether or not he'll like you if you don't? No way. You don't sell your soul that cheap.

We all have to deal with rejection. Even the most beautiful women in the world are on the receiving end of it at some time or another. No one escapes being human. And part of being human is suffering humiliation and rejection. It's life.

Hey may have been a wolf in sheep's clothing. He came in dressed as a wonderful man - but underneath, was an egotistical, arrogant creep seeking sex - and a child who stormed out like a 7 year old when he didn't get what he wanted.

Oh well, too bad. That's on him, not you. Don't waste your time spending your thoughts and energy worrying about a creep. If he was genuinely interested, he'll be back. If he's gone for good, thank your lucky stars cause he would've slept with you that night and then disappeared the next day.

annonymous said...

Thank You !! It was your earlier posts that brought that to my attention (disappearing the next day) and kept me strong to my own beliefs ...cause damn I gotta tell ya, it was tough..ahahha (notice I didn't say "hard"). I'm feeling good right now. So tell me, if he does call again, do I act normal, and not bring it UP (ahahaha there I go again)...or should I make a statement before accepting another date.

Anonymous said...

Hello Mirror of Aphrodite, this anonymous from 10/30 on 7:58 and I wanted to say I absolutely love your words of advice/wisdom. You are direct and empowering. Do you have any advice for me or should I just take your last message to heart as well?

Anonymous said...

What a great thread! I have recently met an Aries man through work, find him fascinating and decided to do a bit of research as I didn't know much about Aries subjects. I'm so pleased I found this page and thought I would share my experiences from the start. I'm a 43 year old Aquarian and have been taking a break from men and their associated problems for about 3 years. I'm not looking for romance - but saw him about a month ago and thought wow! I would guess he is around my age maybe a bit younger. He is divorced, but I have no idea if he is seeing anyone but he made it plain from day 1 that he likes me. Men often find me intimidating as I am a big personality but this "quiet" Ram has no such qualms. He has made it very clear he is attracted to me and flirts outrageously - which I love - and give as good as I get - which drives him on to ever more! I have never met anyone so blatant - he tells me what fantasies he has about me when he is in bed alone - and I just tell him I hope he gave me a good time! I was a little confused that he had not attempted to make a date - but having read all your comments I now understand! He has been very sweet as I have been suffering with flu and runs around after me. The jealous nature has surfaced if I say anything nice about any other man - but having read your thread I now know what I'm dealing with! He tells me EVERYONE is attracted to me and I agree with him (They're not but it can't hurt!)but tell him he is my second favourite! I'm keen to hear any advice anyone has for me - as I like him a lot - most men bore me and I need a challenge - but I want this Ram to fall for me and stay fallen xxx

The Mirror of Aphrodite said...

The best thing you can do with an Aries male is - RUN. LOL, I know, you're probably like, "What?" When I say that though, I don't mean run and never look back, I mean . . they love a challenge and they love to pursue.

It's really that simple. Keep them on their toes and they'll find you fascinating.

Anonymous said...

Thank you MOA - I will make that ram chase me til his hooves fall off!Before I read your wise words I was going to play it differently! I will keep you updated xxxxx

The Mirror of Aphrodite said...

@Anonymous Nov. 9 8:39PM,
Nope, men like cool chics. Those are the ones they gravitate towards, the ones that are fun to be around, carefree - one's that respect themselves and prove to be a challenge. (Men secretly love that, they just don't want women to know that because then, they give away their power as well as decrease their odds of getting laid, LOL.)

So you be the cool chic. You don't sweat the "small" stuff, LOL. You've got more important things to worry about in life. You don't have the time to sit around and converse about someone's "short comings" or their petty little pity parties about not getting laid.

The less you say about this - the more of an ass he's going to feel about it. Even if he never admits that to you, the more you ignore it, the more he's going to think about it, LOL.

Saying less is always saying more.

Anonymous said...

Love ya, MOA...you are truly the best! From anonymous on 10/30

The Mirror of Aphrodite said...

@Anonymous Nov. 10 12:31AM,
Well, here's the deal with him. He's uncertain and he's dating around. He's able to do so because he has made no commitments to anyone here, so that's perfectly acceptable to do (and you should be doing the same thing, too).

I know this has hurt you, but you cannot blame that on him as I don't think it was his intention to hurt you and he's permitted to casually date others, as are you. Additionally, he was honest with you prior to that and said he only wanted to be friends. So he's really done nothing wrong here. I think what happened is that maybe you set yourself up for a fall. Meaning, you assumed that because he came around again, he changed his mind and was romantically interested in you. Women tend to read into things an do that, so don't beat yourself up about it, we've all done it. But unless someone has committed to you, they're free to do as they please. And just because he came around again doesn't automatically mean he's romantically interested - it may mean he just wants to be friends and is attempting to keep you in his life as one is all.

So when you see him, you remind yourself that you're friends. You don't fool around with him, you don't sleep with him. You treat him as a friend only and you have no romantic expectations from him or the situation. That way, you don't get hurt when what you thought was going to happen doesn't happen.

And you start casually (no sex) dating as well. Accept invitations from men, go to dinner, have fun. This will help you detach from him and make you feel better and help you to move on.

You can't make someone want to be with you and you can't expect someone that says they want to be friends to be a boyfriend.

This one will be back. And when he comes back, you treat him as a friend until he comes to YOU and says HE wants more and commits to you.

Anonymous said...

Virgogirl27 UPDATE!

Well like you said he called :D he acted like nothing happened. He also though i know who he was right off the bat when i answered my phone lol. But the 1 thing he kept asking me was " who are you having sex with?" Im like wow really? Than when i said thats none of your business even tho i haven't been having sex period lol. He than says "well i have!" with a chuckle and i said well thats good for you :) enjoy yourself. Im no where near a jealous girl and he always try but it never works. I think its funny. So everything was good, were joking around playing as always, he was textin me good morning and i was textin him saying i miss you ect .. but we haven't been talking so i called but no answer i was a little upset because since we were teens he always answered or text back so i left him alone. Than 2 weeks rolled past and nothing which was okay because i was working alot but i text him and i asked him "are you mad at me?" because when he's mad he stay mad awhile and he gets distance from me. He text back saying he's been busy. He's out of state for college so i backed away but i was wondering should i call/text again? Its been a week since i sent that text message to him and i really want to talk to him but face to face he doesn't get serious over the phone easy but in person he will talk serious to me. I wanted to tell him how i feel, Im more blunt than he is. I don't know if i make him nervous or what? Ugh i love and miss him lol. But i wanted to just let you know that you were RIGHT :) -hugs-

Anonymous said...

I forgot to mention that were not a couple!! I want us to be but if it doesn't work out than thats life i guess :) thats what I wanted to talk to him about in person. Me and him!

The Mirror of Aphrodite said...

Excellent! They ALL come back, LOL.

No, don't text him, it's never good for a woman to pursue a man, it drives them away and makes the woman look desperate to them.

Besides, it's not natural for a woman to be "the man" in the relationship. You don't see doe chasing bucks around the forest and you don't see the lioness running down the lion king out on the safari. It goes against what Mother Nature intended.

You do that and you'll never know if a guy is really interested or not and you set yourself up to be used.

Check out this piece, you'll see what I mean:


The Mirror of Aphrodite said...

NO! You don't talk to him about you guys being a couple. You wait for a man to WANT to be a couple, you don't pressure a guy, you don't pursue a guy. You'll drive him away.

You let HIM pursue YOU, you let HIM ask YOU for a relationship, you let HIM contact YOU, you let HIM be the MAN - NEVER chase a guy, ever.

Anonymous said...

Yea your right but 1 thing about this Aries man/guy never really come out to me. Like when we 1 st started talking and getting to know another i knew he liked me but he would never come out and tell me. His best friend told me so i was like do i say something or what? Than the 1st time we said we loved eachother i said it first and he said it right back real fast! So what Im saying is he don't tell me nothing, he don't come out and say how he feels to me 1st, so i don't want to wait forever because i do love him. its confusing tho

The Mirror of Aphrodite said...

Don' fall for that routine. Men always go after what they want, especially Aries men, and they despise being pursued, they like a challenge.

If he's playing coy, that means he's not ready to say those things or tell you things. But when you do it first, he feels obligated to respond, so that's what he does. But you don't know if he's just saying that to be nice - or if he really means it.

He's already disappeared once, then said he'd call and didn't for a while - you have to understand what that behavior from a man means - it means he's not ready. And that he feels a bit pressured to move too fast with this. So he tells you what you want to hear, but then turns around and does his own thing. Why? Because he's not ready. That's why it's on again, off again, on again, off again.

You really need to pull back and let him come to you and say these things to you when he's ready. Or he's going to disappear again.

Anonymous said...

Thank you for your advice, your really good :)
But when i was talking about me saying i love him that was back in high school when we were 18/19 now at 21/22 he has said it on his own since than :) But i disappeared on him twice. 1 time it was for 10 months, i deleted his number, pics ect. I told him to never call me again. He was friends with my best friend 1st in high school so they were friends on fb so he was messaging her about me, than he asked for her number and he was than talking about me over the phone with her. So i called him and he came running over my house saying he misses me & blah lol. Than another time i disappeared on him was when he was having a bad day & he got rude with me so i had to get rude right back, & a month rolls by he comes over my house unannounced hugging me all darn day long. So me backing away from him is not that hard. But me not knowing is, Im more blunt than he is. So i feel like if he don't want to be with me he should say so & i will never talk to him again. He's away at school right now, he comes back this month or on xmas with my gift :) So he telling his best friend he likes me so thats why Im like ok? Say something !? But when more guys are trying to date me, he gets mad & acts like a big baby. Ill admit sometimes i don't be ready to be with him & i don't know why? Maybe Im scared? I won't put pressure on him but maybe were not meant to be. It sucks :( i will cry for awhile ( behind closed doors, i don't let people see me cry lol) Maybe in the near future he will speak up but by than it may be too late?! I don't know. We never had a talk, we just let the things that made us upset go. But the only time we really stop talking is when we get mad. And he's stubborn and i have pride so yup... But i hope Im not annoying you lol. Thank you for helping me understand :-D

The Mirror of Aphrodite said...

LOL, no of course you're not annoying me. I'm just very black and white, so my apologies if I come across a bit strong.

You just need to let him take baby steps is all, and it appears that maybe you need the same as well. You both could be very unsure at this moment. So relax, sit back - and just let things happen naturally - and slowly is all.

That's when it will stick.

MMB said...


I think you should enjoy your time with him while he’s here. If he’s away at school, he’s probably busy focusing on other things and not ready to make a commitment just yet. It’s just not the right time. So what do you do? Have fun! See other people. And when he comes home for xmas, enjoy your time with him. Don’t nag him with questions about you and him. If you do this, you’ll make him wonder why you’re not asking. If you go out and see other people, this will help occupy your time and not only focus on him. Aries men really need their space! They need someone who has a life of their own. This is something very attractive to them. Because they want to chase YOU. Not the other way around. So when he comes home for xmas, don’t ALWAYS be available. The first time he asks you out, say yes. The next time say you already have plans. Throw him for a loop. You’ll be surprised. And whatever you do, DO NOT TEXT/CALL HIM. Let him text/call you. HE WILL! But he will only contact you if you don’t contact him AND if he wants to contact you. And don’t get all freaked out if it’s been 2 days without contact. 2 days is nothing. However, if he doesn’t contact you, well, you have your answer.

And whatever you do… DO NOT talk to him about being a couple. DO NOT text him with “I miss you’s.” HE needs to do all that. And let me tell you, if he texts you with “I miss you” first, you text him back something along the lines of “awe, that’s sweet!” NEVER with an “I miss you” back. At least not right now at this stage of the relationship. Yes he told his friend he likes you, which is probably true. But just because he likes you doesn’t mean he’s ready to make a commitment. You continue to act like you guys are just friends. Because ultimately, that’s what you are. HAVE FUN! Enjoy the time he’s here without talking about you and him. You’ll make him see how much fun you are and how much he enjoys spending time with you.

Anonymous said...

Hello MOA and to whoever has followed me on the string. I am anonymous from 10/30 at 7:58, let's just call me JT. Yes, the aries man contact me 5 1/2 weeks later after doing the no contact rule of maintaining "military" silence. He wrote me a long letter saying he sorry he was and that over the summer he did realize then that he loved me however now, we push each other's buttons so that is why we don't work out in a relationship. He went on and on about how wonderful I was, etc. He knows I love college football so offered up 4 tickets to an ND game however I am completely ignoring him and after creating a new email addresss, because I blocked all his others, he created a new email address and not only sent me the 3 page email but hand delivered it to my doorman himself. I am not looking for a friendship from him and I know he knows that but can anyone tell me what is going on in his head? Any opinions?

The Mirror of Aphrodite said...

What's going on with him? The no contact has made him see the light (no contacts does this, which is why I'm always suggesting it to women, it works).

He's had plenty of time and space to think and in doing so, realizes that he was a jerk. So now he's swinging around to make things right.

Anonymous said...

I'm a Scorpio female and hooked up with an Aries guy this past summer. I didn't sleep with him right away but things started to change after I became pregnant. I told him thru text because I was out of town but he seemed kinda intriguee by the idea..he was all like oh my gosh I'm gonna be a daddy!? well now I am 5 months along in this pregnancy and all I get are occasional texts and calls..I tryan stay patient but some days I could really use a lil suport..at first I even bounced around the idea of adoption, abortion because he's so hard to read..he says he'd be tgere for doctors appointments bit showed up late...like it was already over when he rolled up! and he says that he'll come visir more so that we can be more comfortable with eachother bbut doesnt do it...I can go weeks without hearing from him. I yelled at him(over text) a couple weeks ago about how I hated one night stands (although i wasnt sure sure if it. was a one nighter or not because we were sorta building up some chemistry there and it felt real..things just sorta happened naturally that night) id been bottling things up was really needing to express myself that day..hormonal from the pregnancy or not, it needed to be said. I basically told him that if he isn't around much now that I didn't know if id be wanting it then...I mean yea I love it when he's around but I was feeling hurt and wanted to see if he'd actually try and change. didn't hear from him for a week and niw he's back around again via text..he says that he's sorry that I hate him but that I've been on his mibd & he wants to see how Im doing/feeling and how my baby bumps coming along. I apologize for snapping and say that I was just feeling moody that day BUTthat I still meamt what I said...and that he should stop assuming that I hate him & actually hear me out for once...and that I'm trying to make this not complicated but the lack of communication is creating a barrier...its been 2 days since I sent that message and no response. ugh! I feel so dangled by a thread...I've decided to ignore him like he has been me but I just don't understand why he can't just talk!

Anonymous said...

Hello MOA, this is JT. Thank you, I have been following the NC-rule for 6 weeks now and while it was tough in the beginning, not so much anymore. Anyway, what the rest of the letter said that he emailed me (at 1:30 in the am) and also hand delivered to my condo was his account of what happened that night at the game. I know his friend is trying to cover his ass as he told me not to say anything however my ex, P, is now trying to say I have the whole story wrong in regards to the conversation with his friend even though P never heard the conversation and trying to turn the energy over on me and saying that I over-reacted. P is a bit of a control freak, that is what you get with litigators, and offered up game tickets for this past weekend however "I" had to respond to his email with a yes or no. I didn't respond at all as I see he just has to have the last word and I was not about to give his the satisfaction that I even read his letter. Of course he ends it with how great a person I am....blah...blah...blah however we are not a good couple. We never really fought?! If we did, it wasn't because of things we disagreed on that couldn't be fixed. He did admit that he finally realized he loved me over the summer, while he knew I was still in love with him, but never told me. Do you still think there is hope I am not responding to him because his letter does not require one. He said when I responded it would take him some time to read and that he would not read it right away, he just couldn't. Then he ends it "With much love and respect"

MOA, please let me know your thoughts, JT

Very much appreciated.

The Mirror of Aphrodite said...

Well, after reading that he assumed you'd respond and then follows that up by saying he'd take his good old time getting back to you due to some emotional excuse - frankly, he sounds like a wishy washy player to me.

I mean, who the hell takes the time to send a letter like that, after being a jerk, then hand delivering it, then stating he wouldn't be able to make time to respond to it - so you just sit tight and wait for him to get around to it or work up the emotional strength to do so?

That's absolutely ridiculous.

And he needs to take responsibility for his unstable emotions. You make him do that by not responding to this letter at all.

He starts off nicely and then insults you at the end by putting you on the back burner again? Absurd.

Ignore it. Make him really prove himself here and man up - or walk. If he chooses to walk, so be it, he'd have just driven you mad with all this emotional unstability and odd behavior he's exhibiting anyway.

Anonymous said...

Hello MOA, it is JT again and that is what I am doing, not responding. His letter did nothing but make me laugh and piss me off however I am not responding because, what hurts more, an angry reply or being ignored? Being ignored as I have said in the past and that is by my own personal experience. I'm giving him 2.5 weeks to respond and then after that, I am blocking his new email address. I know he is pissed that I haven't responded because like you said, he is expecting me to respond because I have ALWAYS done so in the past. Well, it is now time to break the vicious cycle.

I can't even begin to tell you how good I feel right now because like I stated, he is a control freak and he has had issues with it in the past and lead to his divorce over 12 years ago and I know he had to work with a therapist in regards to that and some other problems. And now that he wrote that letter expecting me to respond he just relinquished all his control to me. LOVE IT! No, I am not playing a game, I am just basking in the position he has put me in for the moment. And yes, I am not responding at all until he proves himself to me and it will have to be more than an email and should I decide to block his new email address, his only hopes of getting in touch with me is snail mail, showing up at my doorstep or calling my landline. Yep, he is blocked on my cellphone as well and does not have my work number. I wouldn't get back together with him unless he tells me the truth that he lied or came crying to me! He is a JERK! It is no-wonder why he is mid 40s and STILL single!

:) Happy girl, JT

annonymous said...

I wrote before about the wounded pride of the Aries man who didn't get sex on our first date and left abruptly. He's since gotten over it and has been calling every 3 days or so and we've met a few times since (no sex). However, when he wants to see me, it's always a last minute plan. I've had a crazy schedule and was out of town when he messaged me "I need a full body massage". I replied "The doctor is out of town until tomorrow evening(Tuesday) and will be taking appointments for Wednesday evening". I have not heard a reply and now it's wednesday...HELP, I expect him to message last minute with "what time shall I arrive"? How should I respond ?? I need an answer quick!!

annonymous said...

P.S. Forgot to mention ... I only have tonight (Wednesday) to see him. I will be gone again until the 30th of Nov. I want to see him, but I don't know if he thinks we've made a date for tonight or not?

Anonymous said...

Hello MOA, it is JT....again! So, yes P has called me now, can you believe? I have him blocked on my cell phone, including his office phone number and he still got through to me. I am not able to block him on my home phone (though I did change my voicemail to a computerized message, so he can't get a fix off me) and he left me a message there say we needed to clear up a few matters. I have a feeling that he tried my cell phone because there was a missed private call, and I think it was him. It was around the same time. I can't block unknown numbers because I use my cell phone for work. What do I do now? Honestly, I would like to get back together with him however I don't know if he is mentally there yet. Help please?


The Mirror of Aphrodite said...

@Anonymous Nov. 21 7:55AM,
Well. .a woman should NEVER accept last minute dates. That's one of the ole "original rules" of dating. If you accept last minute dates from a man and remain "on standby" for him, he will always do that and never plan normal dates. Because when you show a guy that you'll do that, that you'll accept that treatment, it signals to him that there's no other men in your life, he has no competition, you're on standby so you'll be there regardless, and you don't have an independent lifestyle.

The result? He sees no reason to be respectful of your time.

When you make yourself too available to a man, it invites disrespectful treatment from him. He begins to take you for granted.

The "original rule" states: Do not accept an invitation for a date from a man less than 3 days in advance. If it's Thursday and he wants to see you on Saturday - can't happen. You have a life and he's got to respect that . . and your time. In otherwords - he has to make time to see you. .he has to respect you.

Accepting last minute invitations like that will not bring a good outcome here. He'll take you for granted and then he'll disappear again. You need to show him that you're not sitting around waiting for him. If he thinks that of you, he'll "back burner" you - because he knows you'll be right there whenever he returns. So he's got nothing to worry about.

You're heading down a road to disaster . . put it in reverse. Or you're going to end up the woman he calls at the last minute - because the woman he intended to go out with - bailed on him.

Don't get comfortable making yourself available to him like that or you're going to create a monster here :-(

The Mirror of Aphrodite said...

You "back burner" this one for a while. You don't jump on him contacting you. You remain calm, cool, collected - and too busy for him right now. YOU make HIM wait on YOU. And you take control here now.

You sit tight. He's gonna' come round again and the longer you stay away - the harder he's going to try here. So you stay away a little while. Hold off here another week - two would be better.

Listen, sit back and enjoy this honey. Don't ruin it by running to him and giving in too easy. The longer you stay away, the more he's going to THINK - about what a jerk he's been. So let that happen, let him get there and let him go through that process of self growth. Do it for you, do it for him and do it for the chance of a relationship here.

He NEEDS to think - so let him.

You sit tight and you respond to him in about two weeks. And let this work.

Anonymous said...

MOA, you are awesome! JT

annonymous said...

I agree ...no last minute dates. Well, he did call Wednesday afternoon, and he Did assume my reply message while I was gone meant we would see eachother when I returned. He lives an hour and a half away, and wanted to let me know he'd bring the dinner and wine.
After dinner, I mentioned the fact that I like to travel alot (for pleasure, not business) and if he has to see me or wants a date (because he too attends alot of functions) he'd have to let me know at least 3-4 days ahead. It was all good. BTW..I'm dealing with an "Italian Aries Man" ..mamma mia!!!
Thanks for keeping me on my toes :D

The Mirror of Aphrodite said...

@Anonymous Nov. 22, 3:41AM,
Oh gesus, an Italian Aries . . good luck with that one, LOL. They're raised to be "entitled." Especially if he's the only son or the first born. Trust me, I know . . I come from an Italian family LOL.

And because of that, I'm just going to give you a little word of warning here. He agreed to be respectful of you and your time that night, which is great. However, rather than request that with words, it's better to not say it, and just show it - with your actions. (By not being available to him the next time he pulls that, telling him you've already made plans, even if you haven't.)

The reason I'm telling you this is because . . he may have agreed that night, to comply, however, I have a feeling he'll pull this again. So just be prepared for that is all. Don't be disappointed - expect it. Men are very predictable LOL.

So prepare yourself and the next time he pulls that, say NOTHING about your request of him to give you advance notice. Don't say a word. SHOW him you mean business by not being available. And don't be mean about it, if it happens you simply say, "Oh that would've been great, however, I've already made plans. But we'll get together soon. Have a great day!"

And that's it. That ACTION says LOADS to a man. So be prepared for more of his shenanigans (because he feels entitled) and be prepared to say "No."

When you do this, you're going to feel very in control here and very good about yourself. So watch for it to happen again - and just take control is all :-)

annonymous said...

Ahahaha... I LOVE IT..I CAN DO THAT!!
I'm already feeling the effects of some control. He's not the first born but he is from a wealthy family and one of two children, both sons. I'm leaving (again) on Sunday for Sicily for a week...that oughta throw him :D

annonymous said...

...in the real world (without Aries Men)..usually a man wants to make us happy, feel like our hero, and know that he's a great man. All we have to do is set boundries and tell them what we want and like (which we should always do no matter who the man is).
But ...does an Aries Man even care if they make us happy?? I know they're all about being King and only consider their own happiness, but when we set those boundries, do they even care about trying??

The Mirror of Aphrodite said...

That depends I think, on how much they care about the other individual, and how much they respect them.

Here's what I've noticed about Aries males - if you don't stoke that ego and blow smoke up their butt all the time, they start to behave very wounded and pout. And if they take that as a blow to their ego, they'll disappear and seek out a woman who will bend to their will and let them take total control. I honestly feel that many Aries males need weak minded women. And I say that with no disrespect, it's just that they really do seem to need a woman who needs them. When they encounter a strong woman, they're not sure what to do or how to handle that.

If they really are interested, they chase a strong woman and try to win her over. They enjoy a challenge. But at some point, they want that woman to turn weak so THEY can take total control. And if she fights for independence, if they really like her, they'll chase, chase, chase. But if they don't and a strong woman has bruised their ego, they may shrink away and go pout and throw a pity party for themselves.

Sometimes, I honestly think it's more about winning and controlling than anything else with them. Which is why, personally, I can't date one. I'm great friends with many of them, but can't date any of them. They start that crap with me and I can't take it. I don't feel I was put on this earth solely to stroke some mans ego 24/7. It's exhausting and honestly, they're really very needy with that type of thing.

If they're genuinely invested, I think they'll try to make a woman happy. But if they're not and it's all about them, they'll just go on doing what they do is all. Which amounts to tons of drama and games in my opinion.

However, an Aries male in love - he's quite dedicated. But you have to put up with tons of crap to get there with one.

Anonymous said...

Hi Mirror. I know this is mainly a thread about other signs but I wanted to know what you could tell me about dating Capricorn and Gemini guys. How are they during dating? What do they typically like and dislike in women?

The Mirror of Aphrodite said...

Without going into great detail here, Capricorns are Earth signs. So they tend to be a bit more grounded than others and lead a rather secure, stable lifestyle. However, being associated with an age range of "retirement" they can tend to feel a bit entitled. Picture a man who has retired. He's comfy, has a stable lifestyle, money in the bank - and he feels entitled to certain things because of that - like young women, maybe. Or complete control. There's an air of "entitlement" that can accompany their personalities. But on the whole, they like stable women, earthy grounded types.

Gemini's are an air sign. They tend to vacillate between feelings and emotions. They can be moody and they can change their mind at the drop of a hat. On the same token, they can be very flexible in relationships and willing to try new things and adventures. They can be very understanding as well. Gemini men play around a lot in their youth, but they long for a "white picket fence" existence with a woman. But not just any woman. They'll spend a lifetime seeking out the right one. So they can have a playboy nature about them, but they're really just on a search for their ideal partner is all. And when they find her, they settle down into that white picket fence existence finally. Gemini men like women who are "hometown girls" in a sense. They tend to partner up with women they've previously known or been friends with for extended period of time. Possibly even the "girl next door" as she would represent a home town girl to them.

Anonymous said...

If his name is Lamarr Robinson run like hell cause you are definitely not the only one.

Anonymous said...

I'm a sagittarius his Aries.were both 50 yrs old. I'm married & his divorced for 5 yrs now. This guy is my hubby's best friend. My life is kind of boring. It used to be fun on my early age but the spark is gone. Now my work, marriage & household chores became repetition to me. I end up messing up with his Aries best friend. At first it was just for fun until it get deeper. Its been a year now. He wants me to leave my husband & stay with him. But I'm hesitant, confuse, I'm not very sure if I really love him or if I'm just looking for excitement in my life. as I'm dating this Aries guy, I noticed so many negative traits of him, his being self centered, love mind games, skirmish games & selfishness. I decided to end this foolish game called "friends with benefits". He agreed but somehow his still getting in touch with me, I'm trying my best till now to avoid him by reading MOA article about Aries men again & again ( until it sink in to my head ), I do meditation, I also write down all our pros & cons. (OMG ! cons is much longer than pros). I have all the reason to forget him, I decided
To keep my marriage life, my hubby may not be as handsome, adventurer & exciting as this Aries guy but he loves me with all his heart. I admit I fall in love with this Aries physical attraction & sweet talk, that's all it is. But, I can't forget him, I missed him &I hate myself
. Its such a self torture. according to my zodiac, sagi & Aries are made in heaven. I said we are made in Hell.
I'm Hoping one day he found the right girl for him & get my peace in heart again. I guess I'll rather be bore than miserable.


Anonymous said...

I'm a Scorpio (born at the tail end of the Libra cusp) and the Aries I was engaged to fits all of these traits to a tee. He recently called off our engagement out of the blue (a day after having me buy us very expensive tickets to see a film in 3D), citing that he just didn't think things would work. No warning signs--- nothing. Cold, heartless, yet constantly in my face lately, texting and calling so I won't forget he exists or something. As far as I knew, we were madly in love and life was good other than some family stuff he was dealing with personally. It's been two weeks and he has yet to go more than a day without contacting me. He spent all last week calling me, saying he loves me, calling me by what was to be my future-married name, and calling to say he misses me terribly, but refuses to get back together because he just doesn't have the "strength" (what a wuss!). He texted me the other day and said that he said all those things to ease his guilt (what?) so I decided then and there that as much as I love him, I'm over it. I tried really, really hard to repair things that first week to the point I embarrassed myself profusely (after all, this guy was supposed to be my husband), but finally got sick of the mind games, told him off (and explained that he shouldn't spend my lifetime trying to figure out his own), and completely cut off contact from him. He has been sending me ridiculous text messages ever since, and I keep sending him "error" messages in response so he thinks I have blocked him (he continues to talk to the error messages anyway, in vain hope). If he wants to assail his guilt, he can do it without me. And if this is just a game and he's coming back after a few romps in the hay, he'll have to actually work for it. More than likely he will give up and poach elsewhere. I'm normally not a mean-spirited person, but that Scorpio stinger comes in handy from time to time. Serves him right, really. I love him, but he shouldn't do these things to people and not suffer the consequences. I'm not sure if this is the best way to keep him far far away or bring him back-- whatever happens I'm fine with at this point. :)

The Mirror of Aphrodite said...

Good for you, you're exhibiting strength and dignity. And yes, you keep him away right now. You let him suffer the guilt, it's what he needs to grow as an individual and think twice before doing this again to you or someone else.

You cannot treat human beings as if they're disposable. Too many men nowadays are treating women as if they're trash that you simply throw away. Very wrong and there will be a karmic debt for him to pay for that one.

So you let him experience all these feelings of guilt and whatnot he has right now by staying unavailable to him. Don't do anything to ease that for him, he needs to go through it.

If I were you, I'd stay away for another month at the very minimum, two would be better. That's a fair amount of time for him to think, process these emotions, and come to terms with himself. And at that time, you don't jump right back in if that's what he wants.

You make this one start from square one, all over again, to prove himself.

And I think as a Scorpio, you should have absolutely no problem doing so ;-)

Stand strong sister.

Anonymous said...

Hello MOA, it is JT. Quick question for you. So P has called, dropped off a letter as well as emailed me in the middle of the night. In all his efforts to apologize is it because he truly feels bad or is he just doing it for his conscious because he doen't want to look bad in my eyes. Do the Aries male ever truly realize their mistakes? One thing he is very good at is flipping the energy and turning every problem into your problem and never taking ownership. Are they really that self-absorbed or is he too embarrassed to admit that he made a mistake. I am still hurt and confused and I still haven't replied to any of his nonsense. JT

Anonymous said...

I am Taurus Female and my Aries boyfriend of 4 years just dumped me. We had lived together for about 3 years and he started showing his true colors. COMPULSIVE LIAR, cheater, self centered, selfish, two-faced, attention whore, too impulsive, money issues, communication problems, etc...oh at first he was prince charming, made me feel like a queen, but when I had a lil down time feeling bad about losing my job he changed and no longer "had my back" like he claimed or would make me feel good yet he actually felt the opposite...he wanted to remain friends after dumping me and when I tried he still treated me like shit and doesn't care to see that he disrespectful so I've dropped him out of my life. He loves attention from women and living in a past dream of being a musician, so he has this fake online persona that he is a rock star. The man I fell in love with has been taken over by an egotistical jerk that only sees things his way or the highway. My ex is incapable of unconditional love. Such a shame because when he was a good guy, he was the sweetest person ever that my friends and family loved. But when his dark side came out and is still showing its sad to witness....

The Mirror of Aphrodite said...

Don't respond yet. He's going through "the process" here - of emotions. Those of which he SHOULD be feeling right now.

Stay strong and stay away for right now. Let this work.

In the meantime, read this and you'll see what I mean:


This process is good for him. Let it work and let him go the whole way through it. It's still too soon to respond. Let the lesson be learned if you want a real shot with him.

Anonymous said...

MOA!!! It is JT!!! ARGH!!! I panicked and sent an email. Fudge! I was just so fed-up and angry and tired of all the emails, phone message of him acting like it is ok. Here is what I wrote. Did I completely blow it???

I had no intention of replying however I know how it feels to be treated rudely by someone and was not going to do the same. To start off, here is the conversation that ACTUALLY took place between John and myself.

to be continued......(JT)

Anonymous said...

@MOA....JT continued

Friend: Jaime, I'm going to tell you something however you need to swear not to tell Pat or he will never open up to me again.
Jaimew: Ok
Friend: Paul found out at the last minute that she was coming to the event and didn't know what to do and so I asked him. Paul didn't want to hurt your feelings.
Friend speaking to Paul: Why?? What is the big deal, do you love her? (meaning Jaime - me)
Paul: No.
Friend: Now speaking to me "He doesn't love you, Jaime."
Jaime: How long have they been going out?
Friend: a month

I also recall a certain panicked phone call you gave me on Friday afternoon when I sent you the email that I was coming.

to be continued....


Anonymous said...


Paul, please understand that I am more hurt and angered by this entire email as from my discussion with your friend, none of the information matches up to what you have said and I was the one who had the conversation with your friend. You stated in the email that I had "drunk" a lot. Yes, please read below. I had 2 Coronas at the tailgate party and 1 at the field. If I seemed more happy than usual it was because I was truly having a great time and I had met some great people at the event. One person in particular that I had hit it off with was Ed's girlfriend. She has a strong desire to teach and I told her about my brother. Paul, I knew you were dating, you were on Match.com however I never thought you would disrespect me as much as you did and throw your new girlfriend in my face the way you did and then lie about it. And, at the end of the day, you take no responsibility for it and blame it on her that you told her not to come but let her come anyway because her feelings were hurt. At least now I know where I stand with you in regards to my feelings etc. I really have no desire to pick apart the rest of this email and why none of it makes sense or the fact that you let your pride/ego stand in the way of telling me that you did in fact realize that you loved me this summer when you knew all along how I felt about you. You do remember that I was celebrating the first week of my new job that weekend, correct?

more.....to come....JT

Anonymous said...


Please leave me alone. You have done enough especially with insulting me in the email below. You take all this time to write it out, insult me, compliment me and then tell me you will respond when you feel like it???? Seriously??? You had all the control that day in regards to the outcome of events however you chose not to tell me. For what it is worth, you never gave me any credit for anything. I could have even gotten over this had you had the courage to say "Jaime, I lied to you because I thought it would protect you from getting hurt." Instead, you made up more lies. For me, the saddest part is that I miss my friend that I had in you, however now that I have seen your true colors, I feel it is best that we don't speak again.

Please tell your friend I am sorry. I was not supposed to say anything to you about the conversation we had however I owe that guy a lot of credit. If anyone is a hero in all of this, because he saw everything between us for what it truly was and put an end to it and he gave me the closure I needed. I don't think I need to tell you what I think of you at this point, but less is more, meaning the less you say, the better off things will be. Should we be at the same event "New Year's party" please understand that it should come as know surprise that if I do see that I will treat you the same as any other stranger in the room. Do I fault you for everything, no. I am in no way perfect so I could never expect that from you. My only mistake is that I made myself vulnerable to you and you took advantage of it. Now that I have learned from that mistake, I will not let it happen again.

more still.....JT

Anonymous said...

the last.....JT

The was the last of my email.

I am tired of him thinking he can just get away with all this and that I am a fool enough to put up with all the lies. So what are your thoughts now? If he really did feel something, will he regret and truly apologize? I am just mad I did't read your article first!!


The Mirror of Aphrodite said...

Well, that was an aweful lot of emotion there. I'm not even sure he'd read through all of that. Men shut all that "talk" out. And I hate to say this, but if he's a real jag, he'll share that with his friends and get a laugh over it. I'm sad to say, I've seen that a hundred times or more. Which is why with men, the less you say, the better off you are.

You kinda gave away all your power here by admitting that he's gotten to you. So in essence, you've now reassured him that you care. Because a woman who doesn't care, doesn't take the time to do this.

As a result, he now knows he's got the upper hand here. He can push your buttons and enjoy all of this attention now.

I know it feels to you like you've told him off - but to a man, this translates to, "WOW, she REALLY likes me - A LOT."

Strange, but true.

Anonymous said...

There is more to story as we ended up till 7:30 AM.


Anonymous said...

Just wanted to share my story. Been friends with an Aries male for a couple years now. Didn't realize I had feelings for him until July of this year. Needless to say, as soon as things start up...they die just as quickly. Never had sex with him, never even went on a date with him...but we're always at mutual events because we share the same friends. We've kissed here and there...but it never goes further than that, mostly because I don't want it to. However, I'm afraid I've lost my friendship with him...and here is why:

I can be quite mean to him and have probably done some off the wall stuff to purposely push him away. I know his reputation as a man whore, and I feel his interest in me isn't very genuine...despite some things here and there that SOMETIMES say otherwise. I was feeling so guilty and bad for my treatment of him because I hate mistreating people, that I had to finally just let him know where I was coming from. The convo went something like this thru text...

Me: Sorry to do this to you, but I just have to get this off my chest. I've liked you for a while now, but I think I need to explain some things to you. Do you know how frustrating it is to like someone you can't have? I'm so mean to you and act crazy on you on purpose, and it's to push you away. I figure the more you hate me, the less I have to worry about falling for you. Why? Because I know of your reputation and that you've slept with many many women, including (named 4 girls). It kills me that I had so much fun with you at the football game, yet while you were kissing me and being all sweet....you were also texting one chick arguing with her and texting another telling her how you wanna see her. Who do you think you are that you can be so disrespectful? I don't need you or your friendship if your gonna pull that shit on me. What are you so scared of that you need the attention of many women and not just one? I'm more disappointed in myself for even liking you because I should know better. There...now you know everything. Hopefully whatever friendship we have left can be salvaged.

Him: Hahaha naw you can fuck off. You don't know anything that goes on between me and the people I talk to. And for your info I never slept with (one girl's name), yet you think you know everything. I'm glad you don't need my friendship because I don't need yours either. All I'm gonna say is have a nice life and don't ever talk to me again...and when I say ever I honestly mean ever.

I don't respond...

20 mins later he texts again:
Sound good...a simple ok so I know you got the message. In case you didn't, here (texted the same thing he wrote earlier but in my other language...I'm bilingual).

I don't respond...


Anonymous said...

1 hr later he texts again:
You know next time you open your mouth and act as if you know everything you should ask so you don't look like an idiot because you know absolutely nothing. I would have been more than happy to explain things to you. I don't lie to my friends, I'm always honest no matter how much of a jerk it makes me look. Hope you find some happiness in life.

I've never responded back and that was the end of it. In between all his texts he deleted me off FB and blocked me. All this happened on Monday. I haven't heard from him since and I won't reach out simply because I don't have anything to say. I know I was wrong for the way I went about it...very accusatory, but what I said was honest and he is a man whore haha.

I'm sad I lost his friendship more than anything...but I also feel so much better for just letting it all out because it was just bottling up inside me. He's told me before he couldn't be friends with me because of something else I did to piss him off, but he never went as far to delete me off FB that time and still invited me places. However, this time he seems sooo mad. I refuse to reach out to him because he disrespected me and figure he won't learn to respect me even as a friend if I go to him. There's a BBQ in about a week that is a big deal and all our friends are going. He put it together and I'm contemplating not going because I just don't wanna see him...what do you think..should I still go? Also, do you think he'll get passed this so we can at least be friends again? ~~~Scorp

The Mirror of Aphrodite said...

LOL, typical Aries for ya' - they're always right and everyone else on the planet is always wrong.

Yea, he'll get over it. Aries get extremely fired up over things and then quickly let them go.

As far as the BBQ, I'd go - but only if you can handle it. You need to NOT speak of this or speak to him there about it. And if he approaches you there over it, trying to discuss it, you very calmly say, "I'm not going to discuss this here." That's it, nothing more. Chances are he'll throw a typical Aries fit, but let him. Let him make an ass out of himself in front of all your friends there is that's what he needs to do.

You walk away (laughing at him ;-) Be sure to get a chuckle out of any antics he pulls there. But YOU. YOU remain the calm, cool, collected on there. Under NO circumstances do you let him crawl under your skin there - at all.

It's good that you didn't respond to his lil temper tantrum response. Kudos to you for that. Remain calm and collected about it. Nothing pisses off an Aries more than being unable to incite a riot, LOL. So that got to him, which is why he kept it up that night.

So score one point for you there hehe. And score more like that at the BBQ if you can, too, by remaining calm, cool, collected - and snickering at him. Sounds mean, I know. But it sends a message. And that message is, "I'm stronger than you are."

That's the message you send this one.

And you don't respond or talk to him. He chose not to be understanding or discuss this like an adult. He chose to act childish, immature and he chose to get all "fired up" about it. So let him live with that one. He sounds like a player anyway, so you cares. You'll come out on top here, trust me. And if you can bring a date to that BBQ, that's exactly what you do. Even if it's a male friend.

In the meantime, read this article here about consequences. And you let him live with his, he needs to learn maturity and respect for women:


You stand strong with this one - it'll eat him up if you do ;-)

And you may even find he circles back around to you if you don't appear to be upset or moved by this. Because his ego will say to him, "What!? She doesn't like ME? She doesn't want ME? She's not upset over ME? What about ME!!!"

Hehe, Aries . . ugh.

Anonymous said...


Thanks so much for the advice! I also love the article about consequences...it's very true! I've decided I'll go to the BBQ at least to show face. I invited my brother who is a very handsome guy (Aries even admitted it) so he can steal all the girls' attention bahaha. I'm going to see if he will bring his roommate who is also very attractive ;)

I can't foresee the Aries approaching me during the BBQ to discuss it, as I don't feel this is his style. He's more the 'act like nothing happened' type. However, I do know he will be watching my responses and actions to him. I can totally see him avoiding me and making it known to me that he's avoiding me LOL.... or he'll avoid me acting like he doesn't care. Either way, whatever haha.

Although I admitted my feelings for him (which probably I shouldn't have done)...I feel the power is in my hands right now. Hence his deleting me off FB, texting me repeatedly...was his way of trying to regain control. Didn't work bahaha.

Again, thanks for the advice...and I will keep you updated as to what happens. LOL, I feel this is more of a game now than anything. I think us Scorpios are just as sick as Aries in that department LOL. ~~~Scorp

The Mirror of Aphrodite said...

"I feel the power is in my hands right now."

You're absolutely correct. And do you know why? Because YOU kept your cool during that episode and afterwards - while he completely LOST his.

Personally, when men act like that, I take it as a big compliment. When he deleted you off FB, he totally played his cards there - he was upset, very upset.

And you know what? When a guy is that upset, Aries or not - it's because they care. Hehe ;-)

Him texting you repeatedly afterwards, same thing. If he didn't care and was all blase' about the ordeal, he never would've attempted to keep communicating with you. He would've just left things be.

So yep, you got his number now ;-)

Don't be surprised if he acts up at this BBQ in some way. . .be prepared is all.

Anonymous said...

I've had a crush on an aries male for years. He moved to another town several years ago and since I have no way of bumping into him and seeing if he'd approach me, I emailed him asking if he was single. We emailed back and forth for a month and he refused to answer if he was single until I sent a photo of myself so he could remember me. So I finally sent one and he answers back that he is in a committed relationship. So my question is was this a blowoff or is he actually in a relationship?

The Mirror of Aphrodite said...

He's probably in a relationship, which is why he was shady and elusive about answering the question in the first place . .

Anonymous said...

After reading your site, I realize I made a mistake by emailing him. He said he could only communication as a friendship so I emailed back saying that no communication would be best under the circumstances and have not had communication since. I am not unattractive but was afraid it was a blowoff because I had just sent a photo. Thank you for your opinion!

Anonymous said...

Hello MOA, it is JT. I just wanted to thank-you for all your advice. For anyone who has not tried the no-contact rule, it is definitely an eye-opener. As it turns out he had been waiting outside my condo a couple of nights trying to catch me, tried calling, skype, texting, you name it. While we finally did talk, all he said was he only wanted to be with me the day of the football game however couldn't uninvite the girl due to some odd reason and kept saying SHE IS NOT YOU!!! I told him I am not friends with ex-boyfriends and I am moving on with my life. He is incredibly hurt that I won't hang-out with him but I told him there was no point. I can tell that he still loves me however says that we push each other's buttons. (What long-term relationship dosn't have that?) I also told him that he has commitment issues due to the fact he is unable to be vulnerable in a relationship and said that was something to think about. He said his heart literally hurts because I wasn't speaking to him however I will not put up being treated like a back-burner girl and will not give him the comfort that I am waiting for him and will be available for him should he decide to come back. He is extremely sad, hurt, etc. however I told him he was the cause of everything and he needs to own it. I know he is sad and really misses me but are aries men always like this? Does it take a while for them to realize that while they keep dating around and returning to the one person they always have a great time with will not always be there for them? Help please?


Anonymous said...

One last thing, this is JT. I did tell him not to contact me as I needed to move on and have met some guys that I wanted to pursue in a relationship and I could not do it with him hanging around and that it would not be respectful to the new person that I am pursuing.


The Mirror of Aphrodite said...

Well, you should feel very proud of yourself here. You took a stance for yourself, you got his attention, he's learning a valuable lesson - and so are you. All very good things. This will be a very beneficial growth lesson for you. And you should feel very proud of yourself and confident right now. And he should be doing lots and lots of thinking about all you've said.

And I bet for the first time, he really HEARD you. That's good, let that sink in a bit with him.

And you continue doing what it is that is making you happy right now. Yes, he's hurting - as he should be. So you don't waste your time feeling sorry for him right now. You continue to think about yourself here for now and continue on this path.

If it was meant to be with him, it will be. And if he genuinely cares for you, he'll still be there. You've made progress here with him and yourself. Don't destroy that by jumping right back into the saddle with him right away and picking up where you left off.

He has to prove himself to you now. And if it was meant to be with him, then that's exactly what he'll do.

Trust in that.

Anonymous said...

As always MOA, thank you!!! JT

Anonymous said...

Hello MOA
I am hoping for some advice. I am so crushed and confused over an Aries man! I can't sleep or eat or even think straight! I recently met him on a dating site. I'm a 40 year old Cap amd he's 42, anyway we talked and texted for about 3 weeks before our first date. Our first date was casual (a drink in the afternoon) I was immediately attracted and I could tell he was too. We had also been flirting a lot before we actually met face to face. He wanted to do something that night but I had already made plans for that night before I had ever met him. Anyway, he said if my plans fell through or if I wanted to meet up
later to call him. He even texted me while I was at the party asking if I was having fun.
The next day he called and we had plans to meet. He cancelled at the last minute and disappeared for 2 weeks.
I acted all "no big deal" when he said he had been really busy.
our next date was awesome and we had sex at my place. AFTER we had sex he said something along the lines of " you are so great, i feel so lucky, I WANT YOU TO BE MY GF. I know, sounds soooo high school but it was really romantic. Things were great for a while and I swear my feet never touched the ground.
Ome night he invites me tohis place and I swear OUT OF NOWHERE he got all cold and distant. We were watching a movie and it was so akward. I kept wondering if I should just get up and leave. Well, I didn't and we had sex again but I did leave around 3 am. I didn't hear from him and on day 5 I broke down and sent him this text "I don't know what i did to make you change your mind about me but I hope you are doing well and being happy" he texted right back " who said i changed my mind? I have no idea what you're talking about" i was like ok, nevermind. We laughed it off and made small talk . Texted him goodnight and that was 9 days ago....WTF! I gave him a way out. Why didn't he just take it and "let me go" I am sticking to the NO CONTACT if i had not caved with the "well and happy" text i would be that much stronger.
I cry all day. It hurts so bad!!!!! Please shed some light if you can.
I had never dated an Aries before so i had no idea they could be so cold.
i am pretty sure he will contact me at some point but i don't know if i can be that strong.
He also knew that i recently came out of a relationship with zero passion and romance so i think it really fed his ego that he could "please me" so well. Help. I want him so bad! What is wrong with me? I feel like I'm losing it.
I can get other dates, i am pretty, thin and have a great (usually) bubbly and fun personality but he's all i can think about :(((((
Thanks in advance

Anonymous said...

MOA, i also wanted to add ( im the above post that can't get it together) you can call me Lillly and we'll call him D)
I have never accepted last minute dates from him, i say i already have plans even if i don't, i'm totally independent and not at all clingy amd he has no idea ( i hope) how crazy i am about him. I have really tried to play it cool. He's the one that suggested " be my gf"
Thanks again.

The Mirror of Aphrodite said...

@40 Year Old Cap,
I hate to say this, honey, but you slept with him way too soon. You slept with him before he proved himself to you, proved that he was GENUINELY interested. And it appears, he was only "half interested." Had you waited, you'd have seen that he wasn't genuinely interested and you could've protected yourself here.

Yes, you gave him a way out. But you see, men don't WANT OUT. They WANT IN. You've already let him in, so now, I fear he's placed you on the "back burner" so-to-speak. Meaning, you're now in his "rotation of women." And when it's your turn again, you'll hear from him.

He wants to have sex with you. But he doesn't necessarily want a relationship with you. As a result, he's not going to take the "out" you gave him, because he'll want back IN at some point in the future.

Don't cry over a man like this. It's only a man, it's not the end of the world. And I think the reason women cry over men like this is - I don't think women cry over the man. I think they cry because they feel bad about themselves. For giving themselves away so quickly. Let's face it, when women do that - it NEVER feels good. It NEVER feels right. And I think that's what makes women cry over men.

You don't want him bad. You want someone to want you bad is all. He's an ignorant man. He used you and then he disappeared. He's not a nice guy. Why do you want a bastard so bad, LOL? I don't mean to laugh off your sadness, but I'm trying to make you smile here. He's really just a bastard, honey - please try to laugh it off and see him as such.

And he's all you can think about because you've slept with him. And by doing so, your brain is now releasing endorphines to the "happiness" zone of your brain. The same are that gets lit up when people do drugs. And what happens is once people feel that elation, they want MORE. They get tricked into thinking that this person provides them their happiness. So, much like a drug addict, you become addicted to this person. It's all a ruse, honey. It's your brain tricking you. And it's tricking you because you slept with him. Which is why women should NEVER do that before making a man prove himself to her, making him prove he's genuinely interested.

And that isn't done via words and talking. All that talk men spew nine times out of ten is manipulation and bullshit. Players tell women what they want to hear because they know it works. Talk is just a bunch of BS. Women need to learn to ignore that and sit back and wait for a man to prove himself via his actions.

True gentlemen and men that are genuinely interested will wait for sex. And they themselves will not want it to take place too soon - knowing that it can complicate things and blow the whole situation up.

I've had men say, "I don't want to do that too soon. I mean, I do - and I don't. Of course I want to have sex, but I don't want to ruin this by having sex too soon and complicating matters."

Men who are genuinely interested don't "fast track" women into the bedroom - players do.

The Mirror of Aphrodite said...

@40 Year Old Cap, Lilly,
As an aside, I just had a conversation with a close friend of mine that's a man yesterday. We grew up together and it's been a 35+ year platonic friendship. He's happily married and his wife is a wonderful woman and they have 3 young children.

But during this discussion, we were talking about men and women - particularly internet dating. And he was telling me how SHOCKED he is that so many women give themselves away to men on these dating sites immediately. He was utterly SHOCKED.

You see, two of his employees at the business he owns are internet dating. And they're constantly telling him, "Hey, whenever I get lonely and I want to get laid. I just go onto the site, chat a woman up, take her to a lousy dinner at Applebee's or the Olive Garden, spend $60 bucks on her - and within hours, I'm getting laid. It's really easy and I love this internet dating thing."

That's what the men on these dating sites are doing, honey. And that's what they think of women there - they're EASY. The internet has made this all so damn easy for them. And women are not requesting that these men prove themselves to them.

And to boot, these men show my friend picture after picture after picture of naked women photos. Images that these women are sending to these men.

The impression that internet dating is giving to men of women is not a good one. And women dating on the internet should not make this so easy for men.

So when dating on the internet, keep in mind how easy many of the men there have it. Don't be like all the thousands of other women there - be different, be unique, respect yourself and stand out to the man as a "different" kind of woman.

Because if you behave like the rest of them, that's exactly how these men are going to treat you - like you're just another one to them.

Anonymous said...

Hi Moa!
Thanks so much for your advice and so quickly!
This is Lilly 40 yr old Cap.
I am going to RUN RUN RUN and never look back!!!! I will not allow this snake to affect me anymore.
The ironic thing is that coming out of a relationship with zero romance and passion with my ex then meeting him..... I was lile WOW! He is so sexy and passionate. All the things I had been wanting for so long. And I actually thought....even if nothing comes of this i still want to "feel those exciting feelings" and i fully expected it to be just a fling because i know i deserve more.
It was HIM that got all "lovey dovey" and made me think. .... oh, maybe there is something there besides physical attraction. HAAAAA!
At this point I just want him to contact me just so i can reject him! That sounds stupid and immature but i can't help it. I want him to sde he didn't break me. Plus it will feel soooo good to be in control of my emotions again.
I will keep you posted and thanks again!!!!!

Anonymous said...

P.s. it's Lilly again. . .thanks for the eye opener on the dating site too.
I deleted my account ( not forever but just until I feel stronger )
And I also deleted his contact from my phone ( I couldn't text him even if I wanted to )
You know some moments i feel really strong because I KNOW he is not worthy of me and then some moments I want him like crazy. . And then back and forth. . Is this "normal"

The Mirror of Aphrodite said...

Yes it's normal to go through the range of emotions that a situation like this brings about. You're only human.

It's also the reason why women need to really look out for themselves these days. Feeling like that is not enjoyable and not worth the two minutes of enjoyment that comes outta' spending time with with men like that ;-)

And I understand you wanting him to contact you just so you can reject him, LOL. That's normal, too.

And there's a very high likelihood that he'll circle around and give you that opportunity - so sit tight, hehe.

And please don't do THIS to yourself in the meantime:


He's not worth it - and karma . . yea, she really is a bitch (babe in total control of herself ;-)

Anonymous said...

Scorp here....

Ok, so I went to the bbq and when I got there aries was already there. I avoided him best I could..didn't make eye contact, chatted it up with my friends there, circled around and gave everyone hugs. Eventually though he came up to me (in front of others) while I was sitting on the couch texting my friend and just stood there, dead in front of me, waiting. I ignored him as if I was texting...but still he stood there and I didn't want to look petty because people were around, so I stood up because he wanted a hug. He gave me a big hug (didn't hug him back, just stood there)...and get THIS, he says "I still love you, even though you're an idiot and an asshole." Wow...really? I didn't say anything and no one heard what he said...and he walked away with a chuckle.

I didn't react, just sat back down and went back to texting my friend. But inside I was sooooo irritated, like really bitch!? Quite the aries style to make it about him and act as if I was in the wrong. Forget that!

It's really hard for me to stay mad because that's just not my personality believe it or not...I get over things quite easily for being a Scorp. I'm over our whole argument we had, but I just don't think he should get off that easy, even though a part of me just wants to let it go because I don't care enough to keep on about it. However, I have it in my head and I'm honestly prepared to go the rest of my life without speaking or being friends with him again....despite us having the same friends.

He's such a nice and charming guy, that I can see why women probably don't stay mad at him, hence why he feels he can get away with shit. Uh...not gonna happen here. Anyway, we didn't speak the rest of the bbq and I left about 2 hours after I got there. I said bye to the people I knew and gave them all hugs....but I didn't say anything to him and left.

So there's the update. The nerve of that guy huh!? LOL...it's almost as if he's deluded...or he's tryna reverse the tables and MAKE me feel as if I'm in the wrong so that I'll go kissing his ass and try to be his friend again. Unfortunately, it's not working and I'm standing strong on this one.~~~Scorp

The Mirror of Aphrodite said...

LOL, I KNEW he'd try and pull a stunt there. And he did. He tried to make you come unraveled in front of friends. Typical. And had you done that, he'd have been very proud of himself and had quite a laugh over it, knowing you cared enough that he could still upset you.

You held strong which is exactly what you need to do here. Because even though he acted smug about it and laughed after he took a dig at you and walked away - inside, when he got home, I guarantee you he was like, "WTF? Why didn't she get upset? Does she still care?"

I guarantee you, you did NOT give him the reaction he was expecting from his little stunt. And men pull stunts like that to reassure themselves that a woman still cares - based on how upset they can make her. And when you didn't react or get upset - I'm telling you, this killed him inside.

He's an asshole, a total game player and an emotional manipulator. That's what he was attempting there. To manipulate your emotions and make you come unraveled in front of friends.

But - jokes on you, pal. Guess what? She DIDN'T care . . LOL ;-)

And he totally set you up for that, by standing there waiting like that. So now you know, next time he acts like that - don't fall for it. It's a game and he's setting you up for a stunt is all.

And next time, I think I'd hit him with a casual response like, "Don't you get tired of having to reassure yourself like this?" Or, "Don't you ever tire of being insecure?" And then I'd look him dead in the eyes, with a smirk on my face. And I'd say it loud enough for others to hear. And while making tracks to get the hell away from him, under my breath, but loud enough for others to hear, I'd say, "This is becoming real boring and predictable." And I'd turn around and wink at him.

I can be a real witch when dealing with a man like that, but I also like to prove to be a real opponent to those one's as well. To send a message that, you will not rattle me and I may even embarrass YOU. I've done that before and I'll tell you what - it stops them dead in their tracks. They find themselves at a lack for words and they don't pull that again in the future, for fear they may look stupid.

In either event, his charm is just a ruse I believe. Underneath that charm, is a cunning, strategic, plotting man. As many Aries men usually are.

Anonymous said...

Hi MOA! This blog has been such a revelation to me. I hope you have a moment to share some of your wisdom with me?

I met this handsome Aries man in October. I never became attracted to him UNTIL pursuing me as I'm very selective.

He started contacting me on FB. (Poking me no less.. ) I got a bit fed up after the poking thing and started a convo with him there. We went out a few weeks later. That week he was very much present. Texting non stop, very sweet, very attentive. And then the following he stop, cold turkey. Color me confused.

Well, I didn't reach out to him because I was a bit offended and as such was not going to text back/beg for his attention. I figure if he wanted me he knew where to find me.
The third week he saw me in the office and texted me later telling me how beautiful he thought I was. It carried on into the evening with him telling me he would like to date me but does not want to mix business with pleasure. He loves to compliment me, loves the fact that I don't date around, etc. but wouldn't you know it? He disappeared again! Big surprise!
He would ALWAYS initiate. Always. And the reason I would respond is out of politeness. The weekend before Thanksgiving he was going to take me out on Saturday night. He texted Saturday evening telling me he has to cancel because he has to leave early on Sunday to go see his family. I initially told him to have a safe trip because I didn't want to come off as to upset. He had so much time to tell me he made that decision but he WAITED until the last minute to tell me.
But the more I thought about it that night the angrier I became.
I sent him a text telling him that what he did was not acceptable and that if he truly did not want to go out he needed to be up front. Be honest, I told him, and in the future don't sugarcoat issues with people. Goodbye.
Well, well. He sent me text after text which I didn't answer. (Are you ok? That text was so unlike you. It wasn't my intention to upset you.") And when he saw I didn't answer. He called. I told him I was excited to see him and what he did left a bad taste in my mouth. He said he wanted to go out with me but he felt guilty all day and chickened out at the last minute.
Now, he seemed very contrite. Very sorry that he upset me. But (wait for it) he had JUST gotten out of a bad breakup 4 months ago and he's going through a rough time.

Why pursue a woman when you're trying to heal?! You need to figure out you first before you get involved with anyone else! I'm thinking perhaps he was trying to make himself feel good after the break-up.

I really like him but this hot and cold thing is turning me off. He pursued me NONSTOP, showed so much interest and then nada. I told him if he needs a friend, I'm there for him but he does NOT need a relationship right now. Unfortunately, I'm still attracted to him and I know that's my issue to deal with. I just wish I can turn it off. But it will take time to get over it. Unless he comes back. And I have a very strong feeling he will :)

I don't know if I should give him the benefit of the doubt BECAUSE he's dealing with this breakup. What I mean is, this situation is different from the others on here, in that he's trying to recover from a break-up. IS this wrong or right? He said had he not been going through this he’s would happily date me. Don’t sue, I’m just taking him at his word.
I'm leaving well enough alone, MOA.

I'm going to make him pay though. And by pay I'm going to take my sweet time getting back to any correspondence from him. He has SUCH great potential to be a leader, he has a heart of gold. I see that greatness in him and I know he can be a terrific lover. I suppose that’s why I’m here still hoping. A friend suggested he's doing this because he doesn't want me to be the rebound girl.

Do you think I’m doing the right thing? I don’t want to lose what could be a great friendship by being too stern. But he has to know where I stand.

Anonymous said...

I will def try those things you suggested and see how they work out. At this point I see him as a little insecure high school boy. That's what guys use to do in high school to get my attention. It's so childish! Gross. It's funny because I was talking to a guy friend of mine who also happens to be an Aries (has a committed gf and a child with her)...it's like night a day when I compare the two. One is a man, one is a boy. I want a man.

Anyway, I still have aries boy's jacket from the football game. I've text him twice before our whole argument asking him to get it, but that was also a game within itself. Who doesn't respond to you when they're asking you if you want your stuff back?! I felt as if he was doing it on purpose. Anyway, I don't know what to do with it now. Should I just leave it at my house, or go by his job when he's not working and drop it off there? A part of me wants to wait till he asks for it since he didn't want to get it when I suggested, but another part of me wants to get it outta here.

I know this sounds crazy and stupid, but because I've figured out his whole game...I'm curious to see how far I can push him. I've said and done some pretty mean things to him...yet he still stays around LOL. So it makes me wanna push the boundaries even more, to see what I can get away with and how much he's willing to take. Shit...I now know how a guy feels when he's tests and pushes boundaries with women. Ok, perhaps I shouldn't go there because then that's just playing with fire.~~Scorp

Anonymous said...

Oh, and let me mention that I've never had sex with his man, bought him anything, or gone outta my way for him. Yet, he still engages in all this back and forth fighting with me and dealing with our drama...with nothing to gain! Bahaha ~~~Scorp

The Mirror of Aphrodite said...

@Anonymous Dec. 10, 11:53AM,
Yes, you're doing the right thing. You're setting boundaries with him. And if he's genuinely interested, he'll respect you for that and he'll be back. If not, he was a flaky liar.

And you don't need to get wrapped up in his drama here. His breakup or mental state isn't your concern at this point. What IS your concern is how he TREATS you. That is what you need to focus on in the early stages. Not all this BS talk and crap excuses men toss at women and that women emotionally buy into. Cause let me tell you, when a man is truly hurting over something - they don't share that. They tend to bottle it up and it shows in their actions, but very rarely do they open up about it.

So when men start this crap of "oh this . ." or "oh it's just that . ." - I hate to say this, but 97% of that is usually crap excuses. One example - I had a guy recently attempting to get me to believe his father passed away. Yes, can you believe it? "Feel sorry for me because my dad just died two weeks ago" "over look my bad behavior because my dad died two weeks ago." And months passed, and it was still "my dad died two weeks ago." Then he changed his phone number and got through to me (because I had been ignoring him.) Now, mind you, this chap is 11 years younger than me. I kept swatting him away, and he kept returning. So two months later, when he finally got through on the new number, guess what? NOT ONE SINGLE MENTION OF A FATHER, OR OF HIM PASSING AWAY.

To boot, the entire reason he came back was for revenge. I had told him he was a punk months earlier, LOL. He got me on the line that day from that new number and he was texting me. At one point, surprise, he brings up sex. I immediately said to him, "If you disrespect me and assume I'm a whore and send me a dic pic, I'm going to hunt you down and crack you one."

His response, "No, I would never assume you're a whore and send you a pic o' my dic." And guess what the next text was? A pic o' his dic. This man, who was so broken up about his dead father, all of a sudden had NO issues with a father at all and in fact, was being nasty.

Cont . . .

The Mirror of Aphrodite said...

So me being me, I told him I uploaded the dic pic to Twitter along with his phone number and a picture of his face. I then proceeded to tell him that I was on a date and that the man I was with enjoyed the pic - along with a bunch of other men in the bar.

I had mentioned to him before this when I warned him, that I had so many dic pics on my phone, I could make a calendar. (I don't want them, but these idiots send them.) So I told him he was now Mr. December - and that the men at the bar didn't think he made the calendar.

I told him that he made everyone's night at the bar, and that apparently, I made his. When he asked, "How did you make mine?" I replied, "The guys all said you looked pretty happy in that picture."

He freaked out. This little game he attempted to play - blew up in his face. All of a sudden, he thinks his dic pic is out there in cyberspace, and that he was the brunt of the joke with me, my date, and a bunch of men in a bar somewhere. He flipped out and suddenly found himself at a loss for words.

So what did he text me? He replied, "Ok, you win. I will stop texting you now." My response? I said, "I usually do - happy holidays!"

I sniffed him right out, I outsmarted him, I flipped the switch on him. And I can guarantee you, the next time he goes to play a game or disrespect a woman like that - he's gonna' think of me - and he's gonna' think twice before he hits the send button.

So you see, the point of my long winded story there is this - no matter how charming the man or how believable the story or situation - unfortunately, it's usually only a half truth, if even that.

Sniff him out, sweetie ;-) You don't know this man. You can't take his word for it yet. And there's probably more to this story.

The bottom line here is how he treats you. And frankly, him bailing on you at the last minute like that, simply because he chickened out - yea, I ain't buying that one. When men encounter a woman they're genuinely interested in, they go for it. They get balls of steel outta' nowhere and they go for it. They don't chicken out, like a girly man.

So this breakup stuff, etc. Don't take his word for it. And the simple fact of the matter is, he was ignorant to you, he basically stood you up, then threw a crap excuse at the wall for it.

Not the type of treatment you deserve, honey. Don't let him manipulate you emotionally by throwing all these "poor me" excuses at you.

Stay focused on the facts here - and his actions.

The Mirror of Aphrodite said...

I would never suggest playing a game with a man out of malice. HOWEVER, when they're doing it to you and they're testing you or attempting to manipulate you - I say "go for it." Give them what they're looking for and what they deserve. (Read my story in the comment above.)

However, I don't really mean to go out of your way and do that with malice. I mean - just don't let them get over on you is all.

So hang onto that jacket. Throw it in a closet somewhere (don't throw it away or he could give you trouble over that.) Just toss it aside. He'll eventually have to come to YOU for that, so let him.

When he does, if he's being respectful, you mirror his behavior and you do the same and keep it civil. However, if he uses this stupid jacket to attempt to play a a game with you or manipulate you - you do what you have to do to see to it that he doesn't win that game, or get over on you.

Keep calm and sit tight. He'll be back. So prepare yourself to handle it civilly. That's your intention here, to be civil towards him. However, if he comes looking to play a game or get one over on you and he's NOT treating YOU civilly or with respect - you see to it that that doesn't happen and you do what you have to do.

Anonymous said...

Hello all, it's Lilly Cap,
I guess i just need to vent a little ( or be verbally bitchslapped)
I can't believe I broke down and cried AGAIN!!!! It's been 11 days NC and I know I will NEVER contact him again or let him use me. Yes, I ALLOWED him to use me and that is MY fault. I just want him to contact me so bad just so I can ignore him. For some reason I feel like that would "snap me out of this living hell" why should it matter to me??????? I don't know but for some reason it does. I KNOW just going through it and time will heal my heart but i really want that power of rejecting him!!!!
This sucks!!!! I will shed no more tears for him!
Thanks for everyone's stories here. It REALLY helps me to read them

Anonymous said...

Thanks MOA! I'll just hang on to the jacket, and no I won't play games outta malice, even though I know it's the route he takes sometimes LOL.

I just have one question though. Like seriously, what is the point in him dealing with all this drama anyway!? I can read him in a majority of situations and haven't been fooled by his bs, hence why I haven't slept with him etc. But I still can't figure out why he's still around dealing with all our drama and putting up with my meanness/rudeness with absolutely nothing to gain! Had I slept with him, ok then I could understand, because he still wants the goodies LOL.

But forreal though, do Aries love drama that much to just deal?! This is one thing that just doesn't make sense to me....

Aries woman said...

I fell crazy ,in love with a aries man. We played all the games.The sex was like a movie scene everytime. We both loved each other but played to many games with each other.in the begining it was exciting because we are both aries.but it became a game of tiff for taff, my feelings got hurt and so did his. He went away and I moved away. We never even officially broke up.smh. After 5 years of a intense,passionate love affair nobody even said goodbye, we wore each other out, 6 years later and I still cant get over . Aries stop the game playing and share your feelings. Because the best love I ever experience became a curse.

The Mirror of Aphrodite said...

@40 Year Old Cap, Lilly,
Don't beat yourself up here. He's not worth it, trust me. And don't view this as something bad. It was a valuable learning experience.

Sit tight, there's a very high likelihood that you'll hear from him again and get that chance to reject him ;-)

The Mirror of Aphrodite said...

@Anonymous Dec. 11, 8:44PM,
Aries and drama? Yes. Which is why I've mentioned here several times, I can't date one. Their behavior is off the charts and I can't take all of the games, fighting, etc. that they insist on.

You see, in astrology, Aries is rule by Mars, the God of War. Aries love a good fight, love a good bit of drama. It excites them and makes them feel alive. I have a dear friend that spent some 40 years off and on with one. And the entire time, it was drama. If it wasn't there, he'd start it. And all that fighting and drama riled him up.

I'll give you an example. One day she was visiting him. He was very particular about running his home like a well oiled military machine. She took his trash out for him, she was cooking in the kitchen, and she placed it out in the driveway. Well, it wasn't where he normally placed it. So he came out like a drill instructor, telling her where to put the trash.

She turned around, looked at him, grabbed the bag, opened it up - and dumped it all over his driveway. He was furious and had to go out and pick all of it up because she refused to.

Later that evening, she was so upset with him, she told him she was sleeping in the spare room. She locked the door and he kept coming to it. At one point, he was in the living room and she came out into the kitchen. He got up, went over to her, picked her up over his shoulder and literally carried her to his room like a cave man, LOL.

The drama gets them all fired up. They live for it. And being ruled by Mars, the God of War, they pick little fights here and there and keep that drama going.

And many times, the woman they want - is the one that's slapping them away, LOL.

Anonymous said...

Scorp here!

Thanks MOA for the breakdown and I understand all that, but I get so confused with this man it's not even funny. That's why I chose to take everything he does with a grain of salt. He sends so many mixed signals (not the kind where I'm trying to delude myself into thinking he likes me), so I'm like wtf is going on?!

Here are a few things he does...

When I first met him (2009), he ignored me. Multiple times I would run into him with friends and he'd give them hugs but walk right past me despite being introduced to him a couple times already. He did this for months. I seriously thought he didn't like me or was just trying to get my attention. Either way, I didn't care and just kept to myself. Eventually, he started speaking to me like a normal person and we became friends.

This past July is when our feelings came to the forefront. He said he liked me but also takes his time with things like that. We made-out like once during this period. He started texting me things like "I miss you." and I'd say it back, but then he'd go "No you don't." I just left the texts alone or changed the subject because I felt 1. he's saying those things to get me to jock him and 2. it's also because he must be insecure about himself and/or how I feel for him. Despite saying those things to me, he'd only text me like once a week and never asked to hang out. So I figured he wasn't interested seriously and left it alone.

A month or so afterwards I was super drunk and without thinking I drunk texted him that I wanted to have sex (don't say it, I already know). But he said to me..."I don't sleep around like that." So I told him he must not like me (I know, I was super drunk)...and he said, "Huh? I just don't sleep around is all I was saying." This is so completely and utterly bullshit btw! He is the definition of a man whore. When I told my friend (who knows him intimately and has even slept with him herself) she laughed and was absolutely flabbergasted that he turned me down, her jaw dropped and everything. He's such a whore, that she went as far as to say it was "sweet of him" to turn me down like that. Seriously, sweet?! He didn't know I knew of his reputation either.


Anonymous said...

Still, he doesn't pursue me...but will casually flirt with me when he sees me. During times when he's drunk...he'll say things like, "Everyone can see something is there between us, I was really feeling us talking until you made things difficult." At this point, I had done a few mean things and acted crazy to push him away. But still he doesn't pursue or ask me to hang out. Yet I know he's hanging out with other chicks.

I've heard stories of him going outta his way to help girls out and doing things for them, but he's never done these things for me. So couple that with not texting me, not asking to kick it, not even wanting to sleep with me....and I'm thinking he absolutely doesn't like me.

So now the football game that was last month... He was there, being so sweet and nice to me...kissing me and paying me lots of attention. We're driving home, and I make a comment about how I can't wait to get into my bed, and he goes..."You want me in your bed?" and I say, "No. I want to be in my bed." The rest of the car ride he's holding my hand, kissing my hand. I drop him off at this bar and he gives me a kiss on the cheek, and for some reason gets all mad because I didn't want to give him a hug (wasn't aware that I didn't wanna give him one). He says something like, "You give everyone else hugs, but not me. You don't care about me." So I try to give him a hug but he storms out of my car, I'm like whatever and just drive off. I text him a few days later about his jacket and asking if something that was left was his, and he completely ignores me...all three times I sent a text about it...no response.

That's when I flipped and sent that long text message that I previously posted about. You know, the one where I kept ignoring him and didn't respond. And essentially, that's what now has brought me here.

I understand he's insecure, very insecure. But if you like me, why are you treating me as if you don't?...by not texting me, asking to hang out...yet you trip balls on me like you do like me. That's the shit I don't understand. What are his intentions? ...I don't get it. All this game playing makes me think he's not serious about me as a person...but he's more interested in GETTING me...if that makes sense.~~~Scorp

The Mirror of Aphrodite said...

"What are his intentions? ...I don't get it. All this game playing makes me think he's not serious about me as a person...but he's more interested in GETTING me...if that makes sense."

Of course it makes sense, honey . . he's an Aries warrior, LOL.

It's all about the conquest ;-)

Anonymous said...

I agree with everything you've said in the Nov 24, 9:52 comment! So many of my male Aries friends end up with women who will bend over backwards for them, and crawl on hands and kneees for them, which doesn't make sense to me because Aries are suppose to like a challenge. So wouldn't they want to be with a female who challenges them? It's quite a conundrum actually. I have one male friend who will date a subservient girl (unfaithfully) for about a year and a half, and then I think he gets bored and moves on to the next girl. His relationships don't seem to make it past that timeframe too often. He's April 17. Why do you think Aries fall for easy to kill women, but yet are suppose to like a challenge?

The Mirror of Aphrodite said...

Because I think they, like many other men truthfully, treat dating like a sport, like a game.

They enjoy the journey, not the end result. They enjoy ravaging and pillaging their way through women.

Once they do, they get bored and it's onto the next conquest or challenge, whatever or whoever that may be.

""For Zeus wept when there were no worlds left to conquer."

Anonymous said...

Hi all, 40 yr old Cap Lilly here,
I woke up this morning feeling great! I realized I could care less if he ever contacts me again. I don't even want the chance to reject him. This feels so awesome! I have a date lined up for this weekend with an even cuter guy .....when I asked him his sign I laughed out loud when he said " Aries!!!!!!"
I will keep you posted as I have a feeling I may be back here . Ha ha!
Best of luck everyone and HAPPY HOLIDAYS!

Anonymous said...

I am a virgo women who recently am dumbfounded by the reactions of my Aries man. We met about 3 months ago. Everything was GREAT! I traveled 150 miles weekly to see him. Was planning on moving in with him. Still things were GREAT! We enjoyed so much together. Never fought, never raised out voices to each other. Our children accepted our new relationships. Everything was really PERFECT! Then one night talking on the phone our conversation excalated a little and when I didn't want to talk about it anymore..well I hung up! He tried calling back and I decided I didn't want to say anything else until we both had calmed down. In the morning I txt'd him good morning. He immediately txt'd back "oh you wanna talk to me know"....then seconds later he txt'd "I think we are done i wish the best for you"...hmmm I went to his house and moved back my stuff that was there and decided I wasn't saying a word, just really numb to his reaction from me hanging up on him. Well last week I txt'd him "hey". He immeidately responded back "yes", then said haven't you heard I am a jerk bye". What the heck...his family still get in touch with me everyday telling me how much he loved me and to fight for it.....WHAT!!! This reaction to me hanging up is sorta drastic....Sooooo I ask you....contact him to talk about it or RUN! I am a virgo

The Mirror of Aphrodite said...

He's EXPECTING you to contact him, so he can punish you. And honestly, I think that's the mistake you made from the very beginning :-(

It's never a good thing to make yourself that available to a man and it's NEVER, ever a good idea to drive to him. A man is to come to YOU. Not the other way around. When you do that with a man, they tend to take you for granted. Being too available to a man tends to invite poor treatment from them.

A man should initiate contact. A man should make time for a woman. A man should travel to see her. When the roles are reversed and it's the other way around, as much as I hate to say this, those relationships are over anywhere from two weeks to two or three months into it.

Why? Because they lose respect for the woman who bends over backwards for them. They become bored with all of the routine that involves. And the woman never knows for sure if the man is genuinely interested, or only "half interested."

Men who are half interested and have a woman pursuing them, calling, initiating contact and going out of their way to see him - will see the woman and sleep with her. But bore of it just as quickly as it began. They don't value the woman as much as they would value her, had they had to prove themselves to her and work to win her over.

And being an Aries, he's quick to take flight and he's suffered a blow to that great big ego of his, so now, he's pouting, licking his wounds, and gunning for a fight.

Stay away. Begin "no contact" immediately and see if he comes back to you:


Aries men don't like to be chased - they like to chase and enjoy a good challenge from time to time.

Anonymous said...

First of all he has a spinal cord injury and it can sometimes be painful to sit in a vehichle for periods of time. I was in the area the first time we met. It was him that initiated all contact from the beginning to the end. He constantly txt'd and called throughout the day. He made the comment several times that he had never contacted anyone like that before and he didn't know why he did it. We were perfect for each other. We could talk about anything and always reached a compromise when we didn't see things the same way. I know for a fact that he respected me as much as I did him. 150% sure that neither of us ever had a relationship like this. He opened up his world to me and I opened up my world to him. There was nothing we couldn't talk about or do together. That's why this is so mind boggling that his reaction to me hanging the phone up caused this. ABSOLUTELY blown away. However we are both in our 50's and he had 3 marriages before me, my husband of 34 yrs passed away and it took me kissing alot of frogs to find this prince...just sorry it had to be an Aries that is so hard headed. I won't contact him and if he contacts me I am not so for sure I can respond because I won't know what to say.....love your advice!!

Lildarlink said...

He was a narcisisst

The Mirror of Aphrodite said...

Sometimes, us women see things completely different from the way things really are and we tend to make excuses for men because our emotions get in the way and blind us. Hence the ole' saying, "Love is blind."

I realize his injury may, at times, be painful. However, I imagine there are many times when he's more than able to drive for a period of time if that's what he really wants to do. And I'm quite sure if it was for something he wanted bad enough, he'd do it from time to time.

I know that you feel it appears that he respected you as much as you did him. However, I have to respectfully disagree with that. Someone who respects another does NOT treat them that way - as if they're disposable - simply because they hung up on them during an argument.

That very act, in and of itself, is quite disrespectful.

Stay focused on his actions - forget his words. Talk is cheap. Actions speak louder than words. And his actions right now are very disrespectful.

Also "He made the comment several times that he had never contacted anyone like that before and he didn't know why he did it."

Again, I hate to say it, but I have a hard time believing that a man in his 50's that's been married 3 times before . . .has never approached a woman in public? Has never contacted a woman he's introduced himself to before? Has never pursued a woman before or called her or made attempts to get to know her better?

That doesn't really add up to me and I'd have a very hard time believing that.

Ultimately the decision is yours but I'd keep my focus on his ACTIONS, not his WORDS. His actions are speaking volumes here.

Anonymous said...



This article is ABSOLUTELY spot on. I'm a Virgo with Scorpio rising and Capricorn moon. He is Aries, virgo rising and scorpio moon. I read it because the lady who wrote it said all her friends etc were Aries so I thought: aha, read on! And yes! My recent ex Aries was very much like the man you describe. I feel much better to know all the mind games are his trait. He was a true gentleman, pure in his heart with his heart on his sleeve that made my heart melt and grow closer to him. Funny, philosophical, deep, dreamy, stubborn, adventorous, balanced and easy going unless being stubborn.

I wasn't that interested in him initially the night we met but we got on and talked about love all night so was a perfect start. It was very much like a black and white romcom film. He pursued me. I never contacted him at all for about four weeks after meeting him. He loved that I expect as it made him feel like a man! It didn't take him long to win me over - two dates - and boy did he put the effort into those dates! Best dates of my life! The night we met, he walked over to me (Aries trait) as I stood opposite on the street, and took control. I was a challenge. He even admitted later it hooked him. But yeah I gave in pretty quickly and it was lovely for both of us, he was besotted with me, which in turn made me think about him all the time and fall in love with him too. He didn't bombard me with texts. Every one or two sentence text he sent would pack a heart felt powerful punch.

We both agreed it was the most romantic relationship of both our lives, but being an 'all or nothing Aries' - he spoke of marrying me, being in love with me, how I changed his world, what our future would be like 'that I take very seriously' - he'd tell me. He said all the right stuff at the right time, without me thinking this guy is lying and trying to bed me. He was very measured and it was a nice gentle start for the first two weeks gradually building up into POW! His ex gf he'd told he loved her but he never mentioned marriage to her.

He drained me a little with his mind games but I attempted to play a few back and his love was so powerful when we were together, and he was so exciting and fun, and deep, wow, I truly love him.

Anyway, one evening we are both stressed and two days later he dumps me for one hour. Then I end it and chase him back. Months later he ends it when we talk about our future again yet tells me he loves me but it's not the right kind of love. There had been a cooling off period in his energy towards me before that. It didn't seem as pure or as eager.

Then after finishing he still contacts me.....drives me crazy that I end up telling him what I think over several weeks back and forth long discussions on the phone and emails.


I no longer contact him, nor him me, as of two weeks ago.....as I said we didn't work in this way and we only work perfectly in one way (and that's as bf and gf) (although really it's only one way as bf and gf attempting to build something that will last forever - when we did that, it worked real well). We broke up four months ago but have met up three times since (no kissing, no holding hands, nothing) and exchanged quite a bit of telephone calls and texts, but as of two weeks ago, I've stopped/he's stopped.

I guess I ask as I wonder now I've stopped contacting him, if an Aries guy will miss their ex (he's not got a new gf yet...although perhaps he likes someone I don't know). So now the big test given if won't contact him again to see if this Aries will miss me, or do Aries men just always fully move on IF they are the ones to do the dumping?

Anonymous said...


I should add......about six weeks ago I did chase him with all my discussions on the phone and text, despite not wanting to and knowing Aries men don't like being chased by a potential wife, but I had to get all my feelings out...however, at no other point in the relationship did I chase him before.

Anonymous said...


to @mirrorofaphrodite "And many times, the woman they want - is the one that's slapping them away, LOL."

This is true because when I pushed him away he was all over me mid relationship. And also true because he took years getting over his ex gf who finished with him and broke his heart and he used to still pine over her.

That's why people need to play them at their own game, if they want the Aries man to fall in love with them more, forever and for keeps. Because it's probably worth it for both parties as it would be so wonderful.

Anonymous said...

Hello MOA, it is JT. It's been a few weeks since I have written to you. In regards to P, we haven't spoken since I told him to stop contacting me and he has been very good about it. I did reach out today and sent a picture from that awful game, it was just a picture of all of him and his buddies from 20 years ago and told him I didn't want to delete it without sending it. Oh, and I did wish him happy holidays. Was that bad? I know he is timid to contact me. What are your thoughts?


The Mirror of Aphrodite said...

@Anonymous Dec. 17, 9:47PM,
Well, I've seen Aries men never come back - after a serious blow to their ego. Meaning, the woman humiliated them in some way, or called them names (that had truth to them) or called him out in some manner that embarrassed him. Sometimes, in those situations, they'll stay gone because they're huge ego has suffered a serious blow.

But if it was relatively civil, yea, many of them will circle back around. However, it takes men MUCH longer to miss people, process feelings and realize they actually like someone.

So it may be several months, but chances are, you're paths will cross again in some manner.

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