"Mirror, Mirror on the wall . . . where did he go, and why doesn't he call?"

Experiences With An Aries Male

I'm a female Taurus and I'll be honest, every new friend, male or female, I seem to make over the years is . . . you guessed it, an Aries.

It's a funny thing and many say that Aries, in particular, seem to be inexplicably drawn to Taurus folks. Anyone who is versed in mythology knows that Ares (Aries), the God of War, and the Goddess Aphrodite, a.k.a the Goddess Venus (planetary ruler of Taurus), bore a child together - Cupid. Being familiar with the Aries personality, many times I can't help but think it's because they underestimate the Taurus personality and tend to think Taurus is someone who will put up with them - and their giant egos, both male and female.

Anyone who truly knows the Aries personality realizes that I didn't just insult them there. Many an Aries will readily admit that it's all about them and this is especially true for the Aries male.

A previous post about experiences with a Taurus male has generated so much interest and discussion that I thought it'd be fun to explore the world of the Aries. But first, I'd like to note that I'm going to tread into some murky waters here and before all you Aries that are in denial begin to bash me for it, let me just say that I know plenty of wonderful Aries, men and women both. So as you continue to read this, please keep that in mind.

The Aries Male

The Aries male is a "mans man" for sure. A macho type that perceives himself as a knight in shining armor. If you ever hear a damsel in distress wailing for assistance, you can be sure that the men charging towards her are going to mainly consist of the Aries breed. And why is this you ask? My opinion is that it's because of their inflated sense of self. In their mind, if they rescue that damsel, she'll be so thankful for him having done so, she'll place him on that pedestal that he feels he so deserves.

You see, Aries men love nothing more than to be the center of someone's universe. Err, let me correct that. The Aries man loves nothing more than to be the center of - the entire universe. And for those of you close to an Aries male, I'm sure you can agree with that statement and your Aries man, most likely, will too. Aries men carry quite the sense of entitlement and many will readily admit to "deserving" things. Especially anything that they feel they've worked hard for. And work hard they do. The Aries male is no slouch. They like to enjoy the finer things in life and they aren't afraid to work for them. As a result of this tenacity and determination, the Aries man is generally a successful man - and they aren't shy about that. They love to hear themselves talk - about themselves and their successes.

You know the old Charlie Brown cartoons? Remember how it would sound when the teacher would speak? "Wah, wah, wah." That's what the Aries male generally hears when others are speaking - nothing but background noise. But when it comes his turn to steal the floor, and steal the floor they will, the spotlight comes on.

If dating an Aries man, on his good days, you'll encounter quite the gentlemen. He prides himself on this but watch out ladies! Aries men are quite the charmers. He'll be happy to have you by his side, he may lather you up with plenty of wonderful compliments and he'll always pick up the tab. After all, he's "the man." The Aries male will watch out for you, he'll defend your honor, and he'll open doors for you. But there's a price to pay for all of this - and that is that you will be his and only his.

Aries men can go so far with this entitlement behavior that you may find yourself unable to have a friendly conversation with any other male on the planet - ever. Psychopathic behavior and furious rage may ensue and when it does, don't make the mistake of confusing this with jealousy. It's about the competition and beating rivals, it has nothing to do with you. And beware, many an Aries man loves to compete with his best bud for a gal, especially if his best bud really likes her. When this happens, once again, it's not about the gal, it's about the competition. It's simply to prove who the better man is and many Aries men can be downright man-whores.

And ladies, when the Aries male rings your phone, you'd better answer and you'd better make yourself available to him. You could be meeting with the Pope and it wouldn't matter - your Aries man had better come first. These guys need lots of attention, from you and from the rest of the world. You see, he's the superstar in his universe and you'd better be his biggest fan at all times, or someone else will move into your worshipping position and right quick.

And my last point leads me into those murky waters I referenced earlier. What's worse than an Aries not receiving the attention that they feel so deserving of? Absolutely nothing!

Being the first sign of the zodiac, you can liken the Aries personality to the babies of the zodiac. Watching an irritated Aries man act out is like watching a two year old throw a temper tantrum. It's like that old saying, "The bigger the man, the harder the fall." This is particularly true for the Aries male.

Aries Male Game Playing and Story Telling

Which leads me to my next point concerning the Aries personality in general, male and female alike - game playing. Just as children love to play games, so does the Aries persona.

 As a matter of fact, it's admittedly one of their favorite ways to pass the time. It's almost as if the world exists simply for their entertainment and everyone in it is a character that can be easily manipulated by them for their own enjoyment.

Many times, without giving any thought to the fact that these people they're toying with are human beings, with real feelings. They don't mean to be mean, it's just that they're so caught up in their own world all the time, they don't ever seem to take much time to consider others.

All the Aries head games we're about to delve into won't come as a shock if you understand astrology. You see, their body rulership is that of the head. Eyes, ears, mouth, brain. So it comes as no real shock that head games are so intriquing to them. And one interesting observation is that many an Aries male keeps his hairdo top o' the list. Many sport the "jar head" look - a crew cut or very finely tuned crisp cut, a military look of sorts. I'd venture to guess that Aries men visit the barber twice as often as the average man.

I have a great example of their zany game playing that's just for kicks. I met this one particular Aries male about 5 years ago during a business encounter. He was from the neighborhood so I was somewhat already aware of his background. I already knew what he did for a living and, as is typical of Aries men, he had a great job and a successful career. You'd think that'd be enough to tout about, right? Wrong. This chap happens by my house one day and we get to talking on the front porch.

Nothing heavy, just friendly small talk. And out of nowhere, he says to me, "I used to be a DEA agent down in Chile." (Really? That's funny because I already know that you were a trouble shooter for a big company nearby.) Before I can get one word out, he's elaborating on this fib and watching my reaction closely. Me, being a Taurus, I chose not to call him on his ridiculousness that particular day. I just let him dig himself deeper as this story of his became more elaborate and dramatized by the minute.

But before I go on, let me back up here a minute. I actually hired this fella to do some work on my home. (Hmm, an undercover DEA agent that moonlights as a contractor - interesting, LOL.) Anywho, the day he showed up to do the job, it was about 58 or 59 degrees out, a breezy Spring day. I saw him go up on the roof, fully clothed, and about an hour later, he was knocking at my door, clipboard and invoice in hand - shirtless.

Yes folks, shirtless and half naked on a 58 degree day - in the clients living room. He's standing there with a big grin on his face and when he sees me approaching, he lets himself in, in typical Aries fashion, before I even make it to the door. And I swear, when he stepped inside the house it was like the Flight of the Valkyries was blaring in his head. "Da, da, da, da, DAH - da, da, da, da, DAH." It was like he saw himself as the lead character in his own movie about to perform his Oscar winning performance.

Needless to say, we were never involved other than business and my friends and I now affectionately refer to him as "the naked contractor." Ok, now back to the DEA story. At a later date, he ended up boppin on by again - another infamous Aries male trait - coming over when they're not invited or expected (to spy on you). Only this time, I decided to confront him in typical Taurus fashion about the DEA bit. I said, "Tell me again what you do for a living?" (Aries translation: Talk about yourself more.) His response? A big smirk began to display across his face, he looked down at the ground like a little boy kicking stones (awe shucks), and said, "I was a trouble shooter." And he just about cracked himself up over the whole thing.

You see, it was all for kicks, a game, and he was gunning for a big reaction to stroke that giant ego of his. "Oh wow! Really?! You were a big, bad DEA agent in another country (which doesn't even make sense in and of itself) - oh boy!! You must be the worlds most interesting man alive!" That's what he was shooting for anyway. That isn't the reaction he got from a Taurus, however. We rarely ever play our cards on the first few rounds.

The Aries Male Dark Side

That particular story is one that relates to playful Aries games. However, they do have a darker side, as do we all, and believe you me, they love nothing more than a good skirmish with someone. A girlfriend of mine that was involved with an Aries for more than 40 years claims that a heated debate can be much like foreplay to them. Like one of those scenes in the old fashioned black and white movies where the woman's telling this guy what she really thinks of him, she's really letting him have it - and then he suddenly and unexpectedly grabs her and lays a long, passionate kiss on her.

That's the stuff of Aries mens dreams. If you want to see an Aries man come alive, start a heated debate. But a hurt Aries male and the games that will ensue afterwards are something of an entirely different nature indeed. Ladies, beware. These guys can be downright cruel, especially during a breakup.

The Aries male motto concerning love and relationships just has to be, "All is fair in love and war." And to the Aries male, love IS war. I've seen many an Aries man, within days of a breakup, strut another woman in the previous womans face - and with great delight, like they just won the World Cup. I've seen them come up with ways to make the previous woman jealous that you wouldn't believe, gunning for that big reaction. You know, the kind where the woman just looses her mind and goes all crazy ape on the guy.

An Aries man won't be put off by that behavior, he'll be thoroughy entertained by it and he'll be sharing that story with his buds. "You shoulda seen her, she went nuts. It was great! I wish you could've seen it!" Yes ladies, these guys will "stoop." They'll play dirty and throw all the rules of etiquette right out the window - and into your face. Speaking of games, other favorite dating past times of the Aries male include doing silly things like sending a slew of texts and then - poof, disappearing for hours once they get you to respond.

 They also get a big kick out of making plans and then cancelling at the last minute. Much of this is to test your emotional strength. Will you go ballistic? If you do, they got your number - let the games begin! If you don't, you're a challenge. Again, let the games begin!

Maybe some of the above has happened to you and, dare I say, you seek revenge on an Aries. If so, play it careful, ladies. Once you engage these fellas, it's on.

Aries Male In A Nutshell

Are you getting what I'm throwing down yet? See the theme developing here? Games, challenges, conquering and warrior like behavior tinged with worship. It's even better when it all ends with a "rescue" of sorts.

The Aries male is a true gladiator and when you think things may be going badly, chances are - he's having the time of his life. This one loves a good bit of drama. Which I believe is the reason you see so many Aries/Gemini pairings. We all know the Gemini personality tends to be a split personality of sorts. The continued drama, worry, nervousness and indecisiveness of the Gemini persona seems to keep the Aries interested and continually challenged over the long haul. Drama, drama, drama and a pure love of the thrill of the chase. So much so, that once they catch you - all too often, they then quickly disappear.

Why behave like this, you ask? It's about the challenge. If that disappears and they've figured you out, as much as I hate to say it, you become boring to them. If you're gunning for an Aries male, my advice to you if you'd like to snag him would be to run in the other direction. Just run, run and then keep running from him. He'll chase you like there's no tomorrow and he'll love every minute of it.

What woman is the woman that usually captures the Aries man's heart? This is funny, but most times, a woman that's been with an Aries man for a while will tell you, "When I first met him, I didn't like him." And he knew it - and that's when the chase began, he stumbled - and then fell in love. These chaps are funny, the more you dislike them, the more they like you and the harder they set out to change your mind.

And don't let the macho masculinity of this sign throw you - they love a woman that speaks her mind and isn't afraid to put them in their place every once in a while. You may think you're going to upset them by speaking frankly, but the fact is, they'll be thoroughly entertained by your tenacity and find you even more intriquing.

 All that being said, generally, you can always count on the Aries male, regardless of your history together, friendship or otherwise. And once all the game playing and worshipping comes to an end, 90% of the time, you can look back on it together and have a laugh. When you've reached that point, feel free to poke fun at the Aries male for all his zany behavior and crazy story telling - I do it all the time with my Aries friends, male and female alike, and they can, indeed, laugh at themselves.

And then eventually will come the day they actually admit to "the game" - and they'll be quite sad it's all over.

"For Zeus wept when there were no worlds left to conquer."

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Anonymous said...

So very true Mirror!
Men are insecure ! But women are insecure as well !
And the majority of us women's got "too much " to offer in a very short time .
No one remembers these days what real courtship means!

Anonymous said...

@Mirror, Fire and Water, Anonymous
Thank you for your support, it really does me good:-). Yes, this man is insecure, immature and s-l-e-a-z-y. I love the word, it describes this type of man perfectly. What you say makes much sense - very many men nowadays (women too) live cowardly existences although they don´t have to. Afer reading Mirror´s blog and absorbing the information I am sadly realizing that although I am not naive about men anymore (at least not to the extent I used to be) it doesn´t help that much because with this knowledge I have to exclude virtually everybodyLoL.

To be honest, I am not so hopeful anymore. I sometimes wonder if perhaps this relationship thing isn´t something outside my reach, like for example some people want to be millionairies but despite efforts never become them. On the other hand, I am still learning which I believe is a hopeful sign because it gives it all certain meaning.

Thank you again. Enjoy the rest of the weekend and take care:-)

Lottie said...

@Hopeful, Yes the mind games and they are so good at playing them, they have it tuned to a fine art. As you say, it feels like it means excluding everyone. I understand.

I'm well thanks Hopeful, I had a nice day today, which involved a day with some new friends I made over the last 18 months.

I was a bit glum yesterday after some interactions with a couple of guys. This was after a long stint of any form of "proactive" dating and so I felt a little let down.

On a deeper level, I do not believe that anything is outside our reach. Even though, like yourself I too feel somethings are impossible. I have to remind myself to remember this.

But I believe that is the ego talking, our higher self knows better and we must trust it. We have been given gifts here to share on this planet and I believe we are here to shine as brightly as we can. We are supported by forces which are bigger than we can ever imagine.

As F&W says - stay happy & hopeful.

Keep well.
Lottie x

Anonymous said...

Thank you for encouragement. The idea that our higher self knows best what is good for us is very soothing. You put it very nicely and for me just at the right time. After all of my trials and errors concerning dating but also other areas of life, I have reached the point when I feel I can´t do anything but to trust my higher self without reservations. Because honestly, I can´t figure out what else to do: I don´t have much strength to continue dating and at the same time I don´t want to give up. I have been single almost all my life so I believe my desire to meet somebody doesn´t stem from neediness, but rather from longing to experience something which I haven´t so far. That´s why I wouldn´t like to give up. On the other hand, I am tired of all failed attempts. The chess player has triggered so many emotions in me I didn´t even know I could feel anymore (without ever being with me outside the group!). In the meetings I sometimes laugh out loud in his presence and then at home I feel so lonely, even desperate and deeply painful emotions that I haven´t felt for years. I try to look at this experience as positive and learn from it. I understood it that I was emotionally stuck (without even consciously realizing it, I though I was "OK") and now it seems as if I was starting to feel my emotions fully again, like I did when I was very young.

On a different note, as for the chess player himself, I have managed to release my negative feelings towards him. I noticed that he is really very childish in some respects and childlike (in a positive way) in general. My intuition tells me that he must either be married to a motherly type of woman who treats him like a son or not married at all. Maybe the kindergarten child is not his, anything is possible. Because despite his behaviour I don´t think he is malicious (like the cyclist who deliberately hurt me). Or another option is that he is not completely mentally in order. A very confusing type indeed.

I wish you a nice day. Take care,

Lottie said...

You sound tired from dating, but I can understand not wanting to give up. "wanting to experience something I haven't so far" sounds the most natural thing in the world.

I have thought about this. I gave up dating online at the end of summer last year, I think I may have been at the end of all of it too. I just didn't know what else I should do either.

So I did nothing. I did not think about men/dating, I immersed myself in my pursuits and friends and family and just generally lived my life being myself as much as I could. I have been very happy.

Although I do not "actively" pursue dating, it doesn't feel like I have given up on dating or that my desire to move onto the next stage of my life has diminished. As bizarre as it may sound, it feels the "right" course of action for me. Obviously the proof is in the pudding and I have no big declaration to make about having suddenly met my Prince Charming. In fact I can't see anyone on the horizon. But I think I'll walk this route for a little while longer.

I completely empathise with "wanting to experience something I haven't so far". I really do understand. I too have been single for most of my life and if I was to look objectively, there was no "real" reason for that to be the case.

But here is the slightly deeper thing, I too felt "stuck" and you mention something similar.

"The chess player has triggered so many emotions in me I didn´t even know I could feel anymore (without ever being with me outside the group!). In the meetings I sometimes laugh out loud in his presence and then at home I feel so lonely, even desperate and deeply painful emotions that I haven´t felt for years. I try to look at this experience as positive and learn from it. I understood it that I was emotionally stuck (without even consciously realizing it, I though I was "OK") and now it seems as if I was starting to feel my emotions fully again, like I did when I was very young. "

Hopeful, it sounds like the Chess Player triggered something very deep in you. To feel emotions fully again like you did when you were young. His force must have rated very high on the richter scale indeed to unearth long term dormant feelings.

It reminds me of my story a little too. I think I came to Ms Mirror's site in 2014, when a man had shaken up my internal world, on many levels. When I chose to look at his role in my life, ms Mirror had told me some people come into our lives as "teachers". Still today I look at his role in my life as a blessing. I chose to take it as a lesson. I looked within and with some professional help found a "blockage". I hadn't realised this. I had stopped feeling from a young age too, which was significantly due to my upbringing. So I did all the internal work to heal from this.

Today, I do not have that blockage. In fact I feel, as the toaist say "my Qi is flowing smoothly"
I also feel and experience a whole spectrum of emotions that I didn't know existed.

I know my external world has changed due to a change in my internal world. These changes have been as much of a part of my journey as my dating experiences have been. In fact I think it may all probably be interlinked.

Take care Hopeful.
Enjoy the journey we are all here to support you and each other.
Thanks Ms Mirror. I sometimes feel more connected here than I do other places in my life.

Take care
Lottie x

The Mirror of Aphrodite said...

"Thanks Ms Mirror. I sometimes feel more connected here than I do other places in my life."

That makes me very happy, and I feel like you're actually experiencing a tremendous amount of personal growth right now.

Sometimes we need to let go and experience solitude so that we better know ourselves and can more clearly define our needs versus our wants - which helps to align our happiness accordingly, thus creating a feeling of peace and contentment ;-)

Anonymous said...

You wrote it very empathically, thank you you for your gentle approach. I can´t express myself so well in English so it might sound like a cliché but it touched my heart. It´s true, this man has triggered a lot of emotions in me. Despite this fact deep down I am still stuck. I feel as if I was in a vacuum. I am happy for you that you are out of this phase because it´s really difficult. In any case, this man is an id--t.LOL The other day after the group meeting he did the same trick as once before - he delayed some women from the group outside the building and then when I was walking past he was looking at me intently with a facial expression I can´t describe (half-amused, half-lovingly). All of his behaviour reminds me of stalking - on the days of our group meetings he is like my shadow - I feel him everywhere and nowhere at the same time because he doesn´t allow me to approach him. E.g. during the break I was telling a woman from the group that I couldn´t get rid of pigeons on my balcony when I suddenly heard him laugh behind my back. But when I turned round he had disappeared to the other side of the room. When at the start of the first project I thought he could be interested and sent out some signals towards him he always retreated. Once I even noticed he grinned scornfully(?) and covered his face so that I didn´t see. This man has been playing with me all along and it makes me nervous because I never know what he will do next. Then at home I feel all kinds of mixed feelings I wrote about above. I have already managed to cope with the most negative ones but what I am still struggling with are those of being out of control, confusion and helplesness. I feel like a puppet. I can´t leave the office but at the same time I can´t approach him and tell him to leave me alone because he isn´t doing anything and we haven´t even interacted normally, right? This is the silliest experience I have ever had but perhaps it will teach me something. So Lottie, hopefully, "my qi will be moving more smoothly too after this experience":-)

Thank you again for support.
I wish you all a nice end of the week (another one, time flies so fast),

Anonymous said...

Mirror, I am a Taurus and I have known an Aries guy for 10 years in a platonic sense and he's always professed his emotions, yet he would always pop up in my life in 3 or 4 month intervals (not very consistent) usually to brag about where he is traveling to and/or from. After awhile it just seemed he was more interested in me to the extent I would be good for HIM, but him not really being good for me i.e.,spiritually, emotionally etc. which is why I never really gave him a chance. We have had off and on communication and suddenly out of the blue he professes this "love" for me again after him being fairly absent in my life. He was absent from my life for 3/4ths of 2015, but wanted to pop into my life in 2016 and be in instant relationship mode. I thought the love thing was a bit off mainly because this guy really doesn't "know" me. As a Taurus I questioned the timing of all of this, but I consented in trying to get to know him in a real and thorough way, but when I challenged the fact he wasn't going to be allowed instantly in my life that way... one who was texting me all day every day now turns into rushing me off the phone or him suddenly having to work all of a sudden on weekends when he texts me all day work, but can't do so on weekends. He texted me one morning to say good morning and so I called him immediately to say good morning but he was surprised because he didn't know something as basic that I was an early riser. I think they are attracted to Taurean qualities, but they are lack-luster in reciprocating them. Should I just cut my losses? Thank You.

The Mirror of Aphrodite said...

@Anonymous Apr 30, 2:54 PM,
"Should I just cut my losses?"

After 10 years - probably. It appears this man may just want what he wants, when he wants it - when it's convenient for him. Without giving much thought to what you want or need. Taurus needs strong footing on solid ground (security) before making any real moves, and Aries has a tendency to fly by the seat of their pants with their head in the clouds (reckless).

And it's not that one is right and the other is wrong. It's simply that they both proceed through life in a vastly different manner.

He probably cannot understand why you're not comfortable moving forward with him because he's probably looking at the situation through his own lens, without putting himself in your shoes. Aries selfishness is a fairly well-known trait LOL ;-)

Additionally, your need to take this slow was most likely received by him as a bit of a rejection. As in, "What do you mean you're not sure you want to be with me - I'm great! Who wouldn't want to be with me?!" It doesn't take much to bruise the lofty Aries ego.

But Taurus needs assurances and needs to know that things will be secure and grounded, so that it's safe to proceed. Rams risk life and limb zipping up and down rocky cliff faces, jumping from rock to rock, on a daily basis. You're never going to see a bull do that LOL. The bull likes their feet planted on solid, stable ground out in the pasture, where they're very sure of the world around them.

And that's the challenge that exists between Taurus and Aries if they're to couple up.

The ram has to be willing to slow down a bit to provide some security to the bull, and the bull needs to be spontaneous at times to feed the rams need for excitement and adventure that their strong determination leads them to.

And after 10 years, it just sounds like this man isn't willing to slow down a bit and take this at your pace for a while. He decides he wants this, then he zips into your life, you're moving slow, so he zips back out and he's onto his next adventure. If he doesn't slow down a bit, he's not going to be able to really capture your attention seriously. Because when Taurus sees behavior like that, they tend to view it as foolishness that's reckless and careless - and they will not take that seriously or follow foolishness where no security lies.

You may have read here that I, myself, am a Taurus female. And I'm literally surrounded by a plethora of Aries friends, male and female. But as far as dating them, that last about one hot minute with me LOL, because zipping through life is not how I proceed. I have too much to lose to be risking it all like that on a whim. My idea of spontaneity is researching the place I'm going to travel to for months before booking arrangements to go there LOL. Meanwhile, Aries booked a flight without even thinking about it, toured the area, and has returned home already. . .long before I've even decided I want to visit the place ;-)

That's the energy that exists between the two, and most times, it's at cross purposes.

So, if after 10 years, you two have not been able to meet on common ground - I'm not sure that's ever going to happen dear. You shouldn't have to settle for less than you need, and if he's unwilling to temporarily pull back the reigns a bit and grant you some security, I don't see how this can actually work.

Unknown said...

Being the ex-friend of an Aries, his girlfriend had to die of cancer to get away from always having to make sure that he didn't loss all of his friends. Stay the hell away from them. They will make you sick.

Unknown said...

I've been dating a Aries man his birthday is the first week of April. He has went all of his way to do all of these Extravagant things for me. We've known each other for years and small talked on and off. I finally meet him after 4 years and when I tell you he has gone all out he has I don't want to say what all he had done but, he's really been good to me for only seeing each other less then a 2 months. I notice when we where out to he would pick fights and I'd get mad and he'd try to get me back right a way. He's very demanding and even gets jealous when I'm looking or texting on my phone. I tried to break it off with him but when I did he told me to be reasonable! And that he'll call me later and that was that! I'm going to see him soon again and he said he would like to do reenact the last time we were together. I thought we had an amazing time but I'm thinking he's talking about the sex. We don't have a label on out relationship. I told him I wanted a kid in the near future he told me that when I was ready he would be. I'm socked being that he's willing to have a kid but not believe in marriage. I guess I want to know if I'm wasting my time? Other thing we were out and somehow we ran into his ex that he said that he's been in love with and this is the only woman i ever hear him talking about he clams he didn't know she would be there but the odds of us meeting with her were very slim to none!!

Anonymous said...

Hehe, 2016 and your post in regards to the aries male still gets comments. Wow. This is my second comment on your blog. Every once in a while I re-read the no contact rule, or your post about the aries male.

Just met an aries male, he chased me for over 3 months. He has 2 small children. During the courting months I encountered lots of insecurity issues from him. He is quite jealous. I always brush his insensitive comments away. We recently made love and while I asked him to use protection, he did not. When I was insecure about me possibly being pregnant, i shared this with him...he told me to get a morning after pill and he felt like I had trapped him so I could milk him. I would never do such a thing. After reading his accusation something snapped inside of me. I blocked him immediately on whatsapp. I did not even bother to respond on such a foul accusation. I am not pregnant. I found a few meds last time I visited his bathroom cabinet. Diazepam and oxazepam, that co-explains his harshness. Your no contact rule works. When someone mistreats you, step away. In this case im staying away.

From One Sister To Another Sister said...

I was talking to an Aries male who I had a crush on but he had a girlfriend at the time so I moved on and started dating his brother. I had moved on, was not thinking about him, and I thought I was over him, but he started coming on to me and I fell right into his game. I'm 31,I have not lost my virginity yet, and he told me he wanted to be my first. So we start talking about having sex, but then all a sudden he tells me that the first time needs to be with someone I really want to be with, and we start talking about a relationship. I ask him if he has a girlfriend, and he insists that he's single. I decide that I want to wait a while before losing my virginity, and he says he's okay with that. So things seem to be going well, we're hanging out a lot, and then he becomes distant and when I ask him about it he says him and his girlfriend were on a break but they made up. To add insult to injury... he tells me that his brother who I had been seeing before had a girlfriend the whole time he was seeing me, and he now claims that all the mind games was because he was drunk.

Frank said...

I'm an Aries man. Thanks for tar and feathering us, lol. Really though. Just don't try to bulldoze an Aries. We don't like the actual bulldozing.. but we do like the straightening out the bulldozer part. You're right about much with one exception. While Aries like a challenge. If you play hard to get they'll put you on the pay no mind list and leave you there.

The Mirror of Aphrodite said...

@Aries Male,
"Thanks for tar and feathering us, lol."

Awe, c'mon - it wasn't that bad was it? All in good fun LOL ;-)

"While Aries like a challenge. If you play hard to get they'll put you on the pay no mind list and leave you there."

That's what Aries guys always SAY, but then what most DO is take on the challenge LOL.

Think about it. Do you get excited about the girl who throws herself at you without a fight? Or is the one who gives you a run for your money the one that gets your blood boiling?

I have seen that Aries men in particular, are the ones who seriously really cannot tolerate gitty "loose" women. Quite honestly, I've seen many an Aries man become totally ignorant towards them. The Aries God of War does not desire to wrapped in a wet blanket, no?

Don't get me wrong, I've seen Aries men take those women up on their offers from time to time. But then what I see next is a complete bap to the curb, done ignorantly if need be. Aries, to me, is one sign that simply cannot respect that, and will not sugar coat the issue when it arises.

I'm not suggesting that women do this nefariously or with malice, but more so in a playful manner is all. Being the first on the zodiac wheel, the "babies" of the zodiac if you will. . .many an Aries enjoys a good game of wits, no?

C'mon fess up -- you know you're out there dancing around like a peacock in front of the woman that's a bit indifferent to you (after just shoving the one that was otherwise out the back door LOL ;-)

TinaTurnonyou said...

Girl yes!!! Leo's can't go for it! We don't even care who he's chasing next. We just want it to hurry the fuck up & end, so we can be free of him.

nayana said...

Darling I hope I am not dating the same guy... I am worried now.

Unknown said...

Here's MY story about an Aries man I met and fell HARD for in May 2012. I am an Aries woman.
I used to be an escort and the day we met, he had called me for an hour of my time but never ended up leaving for a WEEK (I shut my phone off). In the time we spent together we got to know one another. We learned that his b-day was the day before mine, we were 15 years apart. I was 30 when we met.
His daughter and mine were the same age, birthdays a week apart and their names are creepy similar, go to Timmies and he orders a med 4x4.... who else in their rt mind would drink a coffee with 4 cream and 4 sugar??? ME (at the time... we've both changed to triple triple.)
We both suffer from addiction issues. When we met he was just 9 months clean from Coke and I was still very much an active heroin addict. We dated on and off for the rest of 2012. My addiction scared the crap out of him which I can COMPLETELY UNDERSTAND. So we ended up parting ways until October of 2015 when he called me out of the blue to tell me that he was working in the city next to where I was living and wanted to know if I wanted to meet for coffee... The funny thing is I had literally just talked about him THAT DAY with a friend of mine who asked if I had been in touch with him and if I knew how he was doing. He had a tendency of doing that here and there since we parted ways but ALWAYS when I spoke his name he would make contact then usually go silent again.
In October 2015, he saved my life! He came back into my life at THE MOST CRUCIAL TIME.... I was in a SERIOUSLY DYSFUNCTIONAL relationship that I wanted out of but was having a hard time finding the right opportunity to get out. He presented the PERFECT opportunity for me to get out of the city/situation is was in, get clean and start over. I left for a month and the ONLY REASON I had to go back was to finish my rape trial I was in. Both men who raped me ended up getting acquitted. Which sent me spiralling harder into my addiction. 5 months passed before I "woke up". March of 2016 I had had enough. Walked out and left with nothing but the clothes on my back and left for Kincardine.(Today, I'm just over 8 months clean 11*9*16). Why Kincardine? Idk. It was just away from where I was. Not to mention had GREAT beaches. Lol. It was my "Rehab" I guess. It gets better tho. I was sitting there thinking one day about my Aries man and thought I'd call to tell him that I was FINALLY ABLE to escape and landed in Kincardine (where I know he's been for work before). He responded with "That's awesome because I'm in Kincardine too, for work!" SERIOUSLY!? WHAT ARE THE CHANCES!!?? I was there from March til June when his contract ended at the Bruce and he was going back to London. We began dating again in April. So when he had to go back home he offered his help in finding a place of my own to start over in London. I accepted. Getting to know him more since April has been emotionally exhausting to say the least. I have caught him in MANY LIES and have confronted quite a few. His lies ALL revolve around being a MAN WHORE!! Telling me that he's going to go visit his mom (something he knows I would NEVER object to him doing) and I show up at his door ready to surprise him when just before I knock, his phone rings and he answers it on speaker. It's the woman he SPENT THE DAY AT THE BEACH WITH when he told me he was at his mom's. FFS ARE YOU SERIOUS RIGHT NOW!!?? I walk away with my anxiety PEAKING. My heart rate was at 145 bpm. I come back later when he's called me to invite me over. As hard as I tried to hide my anxiety (even hours later) I couldn't and he asked what was wrong.... I CALLED HIM ON EVERYTHING! He didn't deny ANY OF IT!! UGH REALLY!?!
Due to the LACK OF TRUST on my part I hv come across the names and numbers of the TWO OTHER WOMEN he's been seeing while dating me. Should I do anything with this information??

Anonymous said...

I love all of your comments; so great to hear all of the tricks the aries man can pull, I'm Taurus with a leo rising, my aries man April 19, hasn't started with any games yet but we've only been on 2 dates and been talking about 2 weeks, I met him off a dating site, and I haven't slept with him yet...only red flag I see with him as I write this is he always talks about his ex gf who he says cheated on him and got pregnant, he can't have kids cause he had a vasectomy 8 years ago, so my question is if he keeps talking about this ex , does that mean hes not over her and I should save myself the trouble of getting involved? When I first met him I didn't really like him either, but he is a smooth talker, sometimes he gets fired up and me being taurus don't back down and this creates sexual tension that we both feel, like I said we haven't slept together yet but he has tried, aries men are so hot when they are mad omg, seriously ,so back to the question; how would I know if he's ready for a serious relationship and if he's even over his ex, he will say stuff like my gf of 4 years used to do this and that with me, or talk about how close they were , stuff like that

Sleepless in vancouver

The Mirror of Aphrodite said...

"Should I do anything with this information??"

Yes - use it to make an informed decision for yourself about this man, and then proceed accordingly.

You're in the process of healing right now. You're also rebuilding and attempting to maintain a new healthy lifestyle. Part of doing that means that you have to have self-love, and that includes protecting yourself physically, emotionally and mentally. Which means it's necessary to rid yourself of negative forces, so that they and the stress they can cause don't send you spiraling.

You know everything you need to know about this man. And chances are, he's not going to change any time soon. You, however, have changed and you're trying to maintain that. Do not let people that cause you stress, anxiety, worry and upset into your life. Surround yourself by those that support you strongly and instead, create positive experiences for you. That's self-love ;-)

Anonymous said...

Gemini woman

Is this page still active?

I'd just like to share what I've been through/ is still going through. I've met an Aries man. it was just a short while.. less than a few months... but i was way head over heels for him. With him i felt like the world is such a small place and i could be with him anytime i wanted.. yet, I never met him in personal. We ended up because i guess even if we were madly inlove, it doesn't change our reality- the fact that we were worlds apart, and he wasnt ready to commit with that. I, too, was afraid of how crazy i was of him already... i was afraid of how i felt, like i was giving all of myself to him, while my inner self reminded me that what we were having was just fantasy.... i was committed to him and i knew I'd overcome anything to be with him.. but i guess he wasn't. Maybe he was too afraid too? Thing though is, I'm afraid he'll think that I've let go too easily but hey, he can't blame me cause I can't even contain myself anymore. I had to protect whatever was left of me too... It has been a year now, and i still think of him. My plans are still set on visiting him one day.. is this a good thing? The thought of him still nags me at the back of my head. I just know i have to see him even just once in my life, or else I'll never wake from this dream in my head. If i go see him, what should i expect? I'm not expecting him to welcome me with open arms, and I wouldn't mind if he'd be wih someone when i see him- I've already accepted that and I don't mind. I'm afraid he'll despise me though.. how do aries man react to seeing someone they used to fall inlove but never had the chance to be together?

Anonymous said...

Gemini woman earlier :3

Or is it better that i forget everything already? I shouldn't go see him and that would all be for nothing if i do? I've been honestly trying to forget... it has been a year now! But why am i having such a hard time with this? Why does he still visit my thoughts? I want to forget him so bad it hurts.. please tell me what to do... should i go see him just so I'd stop dreaming and put all my thoughts to an end (not so that I'd be with him), or should i just forget and pray I'll never remember again? Help please :'(

TWJoseph said...

My recent experience with an Aries man has left me reeling. I'm a Gemini man and was pursued by this guy - we first saw each other at the beach but didn't meet until he contacted me through Facebook a couple weeks later (he found me through a picture that was posted by a mutual friend). During the course of our interaction, he was very effusive about his feelings and interest in me and I gave him the attention and priority he seemed to enjoy.

He's Brazilian and came to this country to marry a man he had met briefly who had offered him the opportunity to live in this country. He told me he realized soon after that he wasn't in love with this man but decided to stay in the marriage to obtain his green card.

After a couple of months, one fateful evening I let him know that I was beginning to want more even though I knew it wasn't possible at this time because of his marriage. That's when he began to pull away. It was a slow process - he no longer initiated texts but was still responsive to mine. One evening, he contacted me stating that he wants to see me and be with me but doesn't want to hurt me. I told him we would figure it out. He then asked when I was available. I told him Saturday.

On Saturday, I never heard from him. I called him at 1:00am to ask him what was happening. He told me the following: that when he is afraid of hurting someone, he runs away; that he had initially contacted me because he wanted to have fun but then realized I was different than other guys; that it's sometimes hard for him to be with his husband because he is happier with me. Although he assured me we would see each other before I left for the holiday, there were eventual excuses why we couldn't. He did open up about being unhappy with his life here in America due to extreme difficulty finding work, missing his friends and family, and the challenges of living with his husband. He said he didn't like himself when he was like this.

We texted over the holiday. He asked how I was and I told him that I missed him and wanted to spend time with him, reassuring that this was possible without hurting me, and then asked about his thoughts regarding this. I have not heard from him since.

He once said that if things are too easy, he doesn't want them; he doesn't want things that are too hard either. He also said that he often pursues those who aren't interested in him. He often told me to "behave myself" with others because he's very jealous and that I belonged to him. He also made references to himself being bigger and stronger and tougher than I was. Does that sound like an Aries man, or what?!

I loved every minute that I spent with him - it was the best time I ever had with anyone, although the last couple weeks were saddening. I believe there was something special and meaningful between us, but he either lost interest due to its difficulty or is protecting himself. His claim of being afraid to hurt me is also a fear of being hurt, I think; he doesn't want to deal with the guilt of hurting someone or the discomfort of having someone dislike him, so he retreats.

He said to me several times that I had no idea how special I was to him. Although I am sad that I am apparently no longer special or important to him, I am grateful for the time we had together. I just wish there had been more, of course. I am hopeful for some kind of reconciliation - either respectfully saying goodbye for closure or maintaining a friendship. I even sometimes hope for a renewal of our connection, although I'm not sure how to bring any of those things about.

Anonymous said...

I'm sorry in advance, but I don't think you are better without him. An Aries man does not leave for no reason.

Unknown said...

I also a Libra and have had the biggest struggle w this Aries man in my life. Its been 6 months at first I wasn't sure and he chased full force which got me, he has backed off a lit but not completely tho I do bring challenge to him and am frank w him from time to time, I love him to pieces but idk that the mean games he plays are worth it. At times he has me believing I am nuts! Yes he is exciting as u said yours was and sex is amazing and he can be very loving and even doting and conversation can be amazing as well but I'm always on gaurd for when that hat will drop and he will start picking and poking at me or is he going to stop texting and disappear for god knows how long or what broad is he on fb getting praise and worship from cause when it says they want to be center of universe that's no joke, this man will post the craziest crap ever start fights pick and poke people and tag them to do it then cry and whine poor me till mostly chicks and some guys will dronwn him in praise and worship ..

Anonymous said...

It's so interesting reading this article and all your stories and they have helped me when I have been unsure about what to do, but i'd love a second opinion if you'd be kind enough.
My story: I am a Leo woman and I met my Aries man in Feb 2016, he flirted and flattered me and as I was single saw no harm in becoming FB friends. Well, he went all in messaging me, saying how he could live with my smile forever, he loved me, we should go on holiday together [we hadn't even gone on a date], live together etc etc.....he was so full on I backed off bigtime which didn't put him off at all. I kept saying we should just be friends but when the onslaught continued I deleted him.

Our paths then crossed a few weeks later, he was polite but that was it. I thought that maybe I had acted a bit harshly so suggested he looked me up on FB again, which he did. We chatted online and on the phone every day, he toned the conversation down a bit so I didn't panic and run off again. Then one night he revealed his true self and I realised he had just be playing or 'messing' with me when he had gone over board at the beginning. Funnily enough this made me relieved as I had thought he was a psycho :-)

Anyway, to cut a long story short we met up in person 4 mths after our initial meeting, he expected sex but didn't get it...he said he might buy me a wedding ring one day. We would then meet up when we could, he called me his girlfriend, we had amazing sex, he went FB public after I said I didn't like the fact he hadn't changed his relationship status from single. He deleted a load of girls without me requesting it.

It wasn't all great, every so often, especially when things were going well, he'd throw a spanner in the works e.g suddenly accusing me of being unfaithful[totally untrue] and then not talk to me for days. He'd come back after a while and things would be great again. I told him how I felt when he gave me the silent treatment, he seemed to listen as it did stop. However he does love playing games, he loves the drama - he admitted it. He also let slip that when he ignores me he knows that all I will be thinking about is him all day every day.

Anyway, fast forward to now, he was talking about moving in with me but first he needed to visit his family over seas. We had a lovely farewell, I had lots of calls from him at the airport and then one or two when he arrived with them - there is a time difference. Then last week there was a tragedy in his family, I got a text telling me this, I responded sympathetically and he replied thanking me for my understanding and saying he loved me.....and then nothing! For three days I tried to get in touch, I left voicemails and texts - nothing whiney, just hoping he was ok and to let me know when he is free to talk. Nothing. I gave up after three days as I read on here that I make him unsure as that sparks the interest to get in touch but that was four days ago so it's been a week now that I have heard nothing. I know he has family stuff going on so I'm not expecting to be his priority at the moment, but surely he has 5 mins to send a text? Time differences don't matter for them. Or am I being a typical Leo princess and expecting the world to revolve around me when it can't:-)

It's so not in my comfort zone to ignore him....am I doing the right thing? I do love him but I hate how this makes me feel....Help please!!

Anonymous said...

Update from yesterday.....I know you will probably say I did the wrong thing but it had been a week since we spoke and my aries is going through an emotional time and didn't want him to think I'd deserted him so I just sent a very short message saying "How's my *insert cute nickname* doing?" and that's it. I wanted him to know I am here if the reason he is quiet is because he is sad. I worded it so my message is not angry/whiney/demanding. If he stays quiet after that either he wants to mess with my head so that I think about him constantly while he is away (bl**dy works), or perhaps his family have persuaded him to stay there, or he has had some epiphany and now no longer wants to be with me. He hasn't blocked or deleted me from anything which I thought he may have done if he wanted to cut and run.
Maybe if he is coming back he will face up to whatever it is when the time to leave his family approaches. I am so hurt and confused, but now I feel happier after sending my message so he knows I am here to support him if he needs it. If he doesn't respond to that I will leave him alone......even though it will break my heart.

Anonymous said...

Is this thread still alive?
Virgo woman here (I'm a Leo Virgo cusp) and I've been consistently communicating with this Aries man (born the first week of April). He is from a country 3 hrs away from me, where we met when I was traveling. We hit it off very well. We met 3x during my one week of travel. We continued to communicate (not daily) but I told him I was having a Europe trip months after, and will be having a long layover in his country. He invites me to stay with him and we also had a good date night. He also gave me money (embarrassing, but my wallet was stolen) before I headed off to the airport.

I agree with most of the things written here! He's dominant and very stubborn -this we have in common. I've met a lot of men who would put up with my dominance and adjust to it, but this is the man that is so hard to convince when he has a certain principle. This is a challenge to me.

He is coming to visit my country, and at some point I texted him that I missed him. And I didn't like his response at all! He just said "cute" and I said "wow. Great response" and he said "is that sarcastic?" And I said "because you don't get it" so he said "don't be sad. I'm very excited to see you!" And I said "K".

After reading through the thread, this message was either because he doesn't really feel the same way, as he is cut and dry, or he's playing games trying to piss me off and got what he wanted. After my "K" response we had not been in contact. I would not bother to text him first, I kind of lost interest.

We would see each other online on FB, but none of us would make the first move of texting. The no contact rule has been effective with most men and it drives them nuts - but this guy seems to be the toughest one!! It's hard not to text but I'm making him do the chasing.

I am also supposed to be with him for 7 days but I'm thinking of cutting it to 5. Just because I'm so annoyed. And I also want to mirror his attitude of being playful and playing stupid mind games. If he asks why I'm not joining for 2 more days, I'll be a bitch and give him the coldest responses. Like I'm not sure. If he gets persistent I'll say I'll think about it. He doesn't deserve a yes from me!

I know that Aries men take pride at everything. But as a Virgo woman, I won't relent to this tactic!

MOA, please give me further advise on what I should be doing with this man. He is far from me but I want him to fall in love with me. Is it possible?

The Mirror of Aphrodite said...

@Anonymous Jun 24, 1:47 AM,
"He is far from me but I want him to fall in love with me. Is it possible?"

Anything is possible. But love does not develop overnight or in a few weeks or a few dates. Lots of time spent together is what generally helps bond people together.

He may develop affection for you after a few dates or a few weeks, but love runs much deeper than that. So don't expect a lot of fast progress in a very short time. If you truly want this man to fall in love with you, the best chance of that happening is slowly - over time spent together.

That might mean a few more trips to visit you. But that's okay - because each trip he makes can be considered progress. So keep your expectations of him low, and be prepared for the long haul.

None of this will happen overnight or likely on the next trip, but it can happen if you both INVEST the time necessary for love to blossom :-)

Anonymous said...

Hi ..
This Aries information is so scarily accurate I wish I'd found it years ago.
I can tell you know I have realised there is nothing an Aries man won't do.
First of all I am a Capricorn woman.
Aries man & Cap woman is a BAAAAAD combination.
I won't go into detail too much but my Aries husband is ALL about the Fight! And he will fight to the death. And he NEEDS to win!
He is very very controlling. Manipulating. ARGUMENTATIVE to darkest hell and also secretive and devious!
This behaviour has been my massive downfall.
I should have divorced him 5 years ago. I had had enough then. But as I still loved him and loved our life together I forgave him and had a baby.
His treatment of me got worse!
It has resulted in me crying my eyes out, him calling me a victim, and calling me pathetic and many other cruel jibes. Not even an apology or even a recognition how destructive his behaviour is.
No affection or shoulder to cry on. Nothing.
I have sadly ended up slapping him. Nothing worse than that.BUT..afyer having a baby with him and his treatment got worse, again long story..i started slapping him due to his cruel jibes, his lack of understanding and his lack of affection.
I was suffering from post-natal depression. I now believe it turned into Depression.
Our child is now 3 1/2
In July this year my husband called the police on me because I hadslapped him a few times over a course of 6 months.
I was arrested. Put in custody for 18 hours. Was given bail conditions to not go near my house or him.
I had a court hearing. I was charged with low-level assault.
I now have a criminal record and am serving a 1 Year Community Order!
And my Aries husband is loving It!
I realise slapping in unacceptable. But in my defence I was depressed from the years of his control and arguments that never ever ended or got resolved.
I should have left 5 years ago.
He cannot see that his emotional abuse of me due to his extreme controlling nature has caused my downfall, my lack of confidence and self-esteem, and sadly my eventual depression and slapping.
He has provoked and taunted me more times than I care to remember and Yes as it says on this website, the Games he plays are never-ending as this to him is WAR!
I wish I had left him. I am now coming to terms or trying to come to terms with what has happened to me since July.
I am sorry for what I have done.
He is not sorry at all.
He is enjoying this.
He has no guilt. No remorse.
And he totally lacks any empathy.
Always has.
We've been together 14 years and looking back, I now properly fully realise that he doesn't give a s**t about anyone but himself! As long as HE WINS!
He has never shown any guilt or remorse for anyone. And has never had any empathy.
I am starting to think he might be a bit of a psycho!

Anonymous said...

You are so correct! I found out the quickest way to make them chase and treat you better,,,Its simple ignore their rants, egos and mean gestures. Keep cool and stay calm, it works wonders. My Aries is actually turned on when I ignore him, he'll do anything I ask him like pudding in my hand lol. He loves that I am blunt brutally honest yet mystifying not clingy lets him be independent he loves that I trust him and that makes you intoxicating to an Aries but I'm an Aquarius and we don't beg for attention were honest real down to earth and could care less what you think(very similar to Aries)

Anonymous said...

I have a question; I have been dating an Aries male for a few months..He was at first a great person but he then turned different. Canceling dates, now taking me for granted..I even told him that I should ends things with us..He says that there is no getting rid of him anytime soon. I finally had enough this week and sent him a text that said "I'm done". Then he says"Hey,lol..you mad?..why all of a sudden?" I haven't responded.. I'm like are you Fu#king kidding me? I want him back but he needs to change..so no contact for now..Any suggestions? I think he thought he was the ish, I have a feeling this is not the end of hearing from him

Unknown said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
Anonymous said...

I will try shortly to describe my story. I just discovered this forum and I am so much thankful that it exist.
I am attractive woman 36years, Pisces, divorced. He is very handsome guy, Aries, 44 years, first week of April , divorced with two kids. Well, it was love at first sight, and truly no one loved me as him. I was his “special princess” and, as he said, he doubted after having met me that he has ever truly loved someone. We didn’t have easy, he has just divorced and had the financial issues and the problems with his ex.
After having dating ar. 2 months we started to live together, and we lived 1,5 year , the most beautiful year of my life. This love and emotional comfort was amazing for both of us, he was my friend, best lover, the most beautiful person. I was his soul- mate as his said. We treated each other with a lot of tenderness. I trusted him, he was everything for me. He has lovely family so generally he is a very loyal and good guy.
I had quite difficult time in my life, I was working and studding, and of course I didn’t have time for him .He needed attention ,a lot!!! And I was not able to give it to him, I was tired and irritated because of his talking and his presence, really, everywhere. I said I had to go from him just for a while for few months to pass my exams. He was angry and refused, but I really had problem even to have a good sleep by him, as he was always talking to me and looking for my attention
One day I was fed up and I left, he was very angry and he started slightly reproach but without any “mind games” We always were in touch on the phone, I reassured him that I loved him, we met once, twice per week. But he started to ignore me and be very distant, like he didn’t ever have time for me, he continued even after I’ve passed my exams. And also many his promises were lies. Usually I am very cute person, I don’t look for fight, but after few months I blow up, my mistake. We had few fight, many bad words were said, and….I discovered his “second nature” game started ( I didn’t know it was a game)

Anonymous said...

I am sure that now a lot of “strong “women from this moment will not respect me. I thought I was doing right thing as I was thinking I am losing him forever. He didn’t contact me, he didn’t want to see me, he cancelled few appointments…etc. I understand he was offended by lack of attention, the fact that I left him, he felt betrayed and offended.3 months I literally begged him to calm down, I was fighting about him, I did everything he wanted I was just his “mental slave «and I was extremely kind to him. Of course you understand how bad he started to treat me…well, he NEVER said he want to break up and what for, everything was at his fingertips.. and he was treating me like piece of shit …on my demand After this I was not able any more to be cool, so I always contacted him in some way and provoked a fight…very very bad words were said. Toxic relation, and no one could live.
I know he has still issues with his work and his ex…I don’t want to bring him more problems, but now I am so much wounded that I don’t know if it could work ever again. I am crying writing this story... The situation is for me without too much hope …Knowing I am away , few days ago( he didn’t know with who), he sent me message :”You mean so much for me ,miss you “…I know he was testing me –(am I with guy or not), so my answer was:” I feel some kind of manipulation”…
Well, to sum up, I f…ed up last few months, I said what I don’t have to say I didn’t know how to read him, I provoked and I let him disregard me…more I was polite more he was cruel..
Is it still possible to clean all this mess? There is no cooperation from him, he doesn’t make any effort, looks like he doesn’t care. I was thinking do not contact him at all and not respond, but I know he has problems, and I always supported him with everything, what to do? Do you think that the relation between Pisces and Aries can last? Is it good combination?...I lost trust to him because many his promises were the lies, because he started to ignore me from the moment I left for exams but he didn’t take into account it was HIM who didn’t let me study…etc...I honestly thought to give up …How I can forget all his games, knowing that he is able to push me to my limit and enjoy it? Is it my friend after all? If I had discovered this forum bevor, I would have acted differently.
Thank you very much in advance

Anonymous said...


I really appreciate your articles and I hope to learn all I can from your work. I am a Leo woman and am looking for information based off of my sign in regards to Aries men. I always tend to attract suitors who are Aries which, based off of what I've read, isn't all that uncommon for Leos. Based off of your knowledge on just the sun signs, what are your full thoughts about an Aries man and Leo woman? Any amount of perspective you can give me would be much appreciated.

Best wishes,

Anonymous said...

It has been cathartic reading the comments here. I have the confirmation now to know removing the Aries individuals from my life was the best thing I could have done for myself. There was this one Aries in particular I genuinely fell for. He had all the charms everyone speaks of. I believe he just wanted sex and he knew I liked him, but I feel he was more enamored with the fact I liked HIM, but never was truly interested in getting to know ME. His job took him away and he no longer communicated. I sent birthday cards just to say I was thinking of him and never got a response. Then I relocated for a job and reached out him online. He dismissed me. It was then I began to see the light and pull away emotionally because I see that not only were they not interested in dating, they weren't interested in anything...at least not with me. I took my losses. A few years later in encountered him and he begun to interrogate me as to who I was seeing. He went so far as to throw someone else in my face to see what kind of reaction he would get. Fortunately, I was emotionally distant to see the situation with clarity and didn't fall for the trap. Mind you they never communicated over time and neither did I. A year or two later they learned I was in town for the holidays and they came to my parent's place UNANNOUNCED and it wasn't for a real genuine visit. It was more like a sick pathetic competition to see whose lives were moving forward. He stayed LITERALLY for 5 minutes and left giving me this hateful side-eye look he didn't think I saw as he walked out the door. I knew I was done then and I finally got the memo that he represented NOTHING I would ever want from a healthy friendship or relationship. Although he did offer me a few nice gestures periodically over the years, he was also emotionally ignorant, selfish, and self-centered. Never allow yourself to be dismissed and want someone who just wants you to stoke their ego, but could care less about your personhood or your very being.

The Mirror of Aphrodite said...

@Anonymous Jan 10, 6:34 PM,
Fire signs are drawn towards one another. In very general terms, Leo woman likes "shiny things" and Aries male likes to "be admired." If Leo woman views Aries male as shiny, she'll give him the admiration he seeks.

However, a challenge can occur when each seeks the spotlight. If Leo woman views herself as shiny and directs the attention away from Aries male and onto herself -- there will be obstacles to overcome in the relationship.

But generally speaking, these two get along quite nicely the majority of the time otherwise.

Anonymous said...


Thank you for your response! I will be sure to take what you said into consideration.


Anonymous said...


I read your suggestion to ‘tap’ whoever you’re trying to fish for and in my case I tapped an Aries man who’s birthday is the first week of April and then disappeared. He sent me a few texts right away and now it’s a new day and he hasn’t said a word.

I know you always say to listen to your gut so my gut is saying he’s trying to hook me because he knew he fell for it hook line and sinker. In this situation, what is the best route to take? I may have made the mistake of watching his Snapchat story so I’m a way that’s communicating to him on some level. I hope it didn’t look too much like a pursuit.

Thank you for any advice you can give me!

The Mirror of Aphrodite said...

@Anonymous Jan 15, 1:44 PM,
"In this situation, what is the best route to take?"

Well, if you really want to know if a man is genuinely interested in you or not - doing nothing is actually doing something.

Because a genuinely interested man will pursue you. A half interested man will not. (Instead, he waits for women to chase him and throw easy opportunities his way. Then once he's had his way -- he'll move on again until the next opportunity comes along and lands in his lap.)

If you want to know if this man is genuinely interested, it's best to do nothing for the time being, to see if he circles around and pursues you after not hearing from you for a while.

If that isn't of importance to you and you're simply looking to spend a bit of "fun time" with him, then you could tap him again. But tapping again and again and again will be seen as pursuit by him.

And remember, if you're pursuing him and he's not pursuing you, then that means he's a half interested man that will behave as such. He won't call, he'll likely use you, he'll make random appearances and disappearances in your life, and he'll eventually disappear for good. So be prepared for a brief fling in that instance and don't expect anything more from it.

Unicorn said...

@leo I’m a Leo too. My Aries x cheated on me. Than used meafyerwards to feel better while he was growing closer to a file he was interested in. So I know how you feel.
It’s like they get angry at you for
Leaving and than I guess they’re game
Is on. I realized the hole time I was trying to figure us out he had already moved on
to I would say now that I understand him. “ his next victim” he was just toying with me.
Is say I’d you break up with an Aries don’t spend time trying to get answer or stay friends they’re the type “ when it’s over let go” you’ll only let them hurt you more.

Anonymous said...

Wow so happy I found this.. New here and looking for some advice. Leo that met an Aries online. Well the chase was fast and furious especially because I was the one that didn't really give my time and energy to people I meet online. He said he wont give up and he didn't , of course it was the challenge. He says he loves me every single day .. but the hot and cold is so maddening. One day he wanted to call and I couldn't talk as people was around.. the next morning he didn't call because the night before he couldn't call.. I mean really ? it is a tit for tat game always... I am short in messages he will be too... he really makes time for us I wont lie but sometimes we have the greatest conversation and then you don't hear from him for 8 hours after -- not a message.. it started off where he would get pissed if he comes on and don't see a message -- now he isn't bothered by it much I think ..I think maybe because the challenge is over and there is no need to work at it. There is something he does not realise though .. you cant really play games for the rest of your life -- somethings gotta give. He is highly sexual but one day he told me he thinks he met his match.. to experience things on a spiritual level in sexual intimacy is not what most can get in the physical -- it blew his mind and he constantly wants more of it.. I told him I'm exploring my sexuality -- that entails things I never did before and he is more than intrigued ... asking questions everyday .. you really think no one can play the game better ?? he can get what he thinks he can get elsewhere.. it will never be the same ... there comes a time when people have to realize others are human beings.. we allow others to hurt us by not standing up for our worth .. Let the games begin... one minute is I love u messages -- the other time you don't .. I want to tell this guy he is boring -- how can I do that without turning the world upside down ?

The Mirror of Aphrodite said...

@Anonymous Apr 10, 9:52 AM,
"I want to tell this guy he is boring -- how can I do that without turning the world upside down?"

Something along the lines of, "I'm glad I met you and got the chance to know you. It's been an enjoyable experience. But I don't feel that the relationship is progressing. I don't like to waste time playing emotional games, so I thought it best to be forthcoming about that with you."

And then sit back - and listen to the earth crack in half LOL.

There's really no way to let a male Aries down without their world turning upside down over it, because so much of their ego is generally attached to their identity of who they are. So a blow to their ego is a blow to their entire perception of who they are.

Anonymous said...


Lol you are amazing ... thank you. I am not the Leo that needs to be in control and wants attention -- I have learnt the ways of life early and have realized that pettiness is not what is needed when there is so much hate in the world. One minute you are here the next you are not.. Life is so precious to be tampering with the minds of people that loves you.

The other day we talked and I told him how I felt on something he did and he started being so defensive .. I mean cant they just talk about something ? listen to how someone feels and address it ? and move on ? He basically says every day that he loves me -- wants me to be his wife ... wants everything .. when we first met it was this is for always...

I love him -- he was someone that I could talk to and share things with and him me and the relationship was amazing one but he chizzled away the said foundation that made us who we are .. why do they do that ? Do they think that no one is going leave them ? One time I told him I was going to actually end this and his response was -- yes that's how I felt too lol. then he said I could not go through with it. they don't like to look like the bad ones hurting someone so maybe he would prefer I do it ? But if I do it will he leave me alone ?

thank you so much for listening

The Mirror of Aphrodite said...

@Anonymous Apr 10, 1:52 PM,
"One time I told him I was going to actually end this and his response was -- "Yes that's how I felt too" lol. Then he said "I could not go through with it." They don't like to look like the bad ones hurting someone so maybe he would prefer I do it?"

Either way, he's just raised some serious issues for consideration with that response of his:

1) He's flat out already admitted he was going to call if off.

2) He's feeding you lines.

And both of the above lead to a singular conclusion -- this man isn't serious about this relationship.

This guy's either:

1) Stringing you along with a bunch of flowery talk by telling you what he thinks you want to hear, and then mimicking your responses like a chameleon - which tells you he's not sincere and is full of BS.

2) Or he's genuinely considered ending this himself - which tells you he's not 100% invested into the relationship as he claims he is (again, a bunch of BS).

You can't take someone's words seriously when:

1) Their ACTIONS do NOT align with those words.

2) They just keep disguising their words to mimic your own.

Where's the TRUTH in that? It's impossible to know, particularly if this has been a whirlwind relationship that went from zero to 100 in only a few short weeks.

How long have you known this man? And do his words align with his actions, or does he say one thing and then turn around and do something else entirely?

"If I do it will he leave me alone?"

Probably not - he's an Aries LOL.

Anonymous said...


You just keep getting better and better -- 6 months I have known him with not a day of no contact .. he always messages and when he is off work he spends most of the day with me .. always messages but sometimes for hours he doesn't. He has a daughter so that takes up sometime as well.

The time that happened is when his independence was attacked.. he said he gets very taken up when he is doing his work with fishes etc which is his passion and sometimes the time goes by and he don't realize it. I didn't appreciate not getting response to my messages and I was a bit upset and he tried to explain it is not done on purpose. He said there are times his time is not going to be as free as he would like it to be at times .. I just mentioned to just let me know before hand which he does now. this was about 6 weeks ago.

he tells me now and I don't get upset when time passes but lately it is the fact that the temper if I say something like don't call he reacts with him not calling. it is the tit for tat games I cant stand.. he messages and emails if he is at work with short I miss you messages but somehow whne I assume the routine of the call is going to happen -- he doesn't call or don't have the courtesy to say he isn't going to call tonight.. that is what has me upset .. the lack of courtesy for my time..

you are right though -- if someone can just be like that there are red flags and maybe not as interested in this the way it was in the beginning.. the challenge is over I guess.. what is your advice to get him back on his toes then ?

Let me know -- right now all I do is answer to his messages -- .. I just do the usual -- when I'm at work messages but nothing more much

The Mirror of Aphrodite said...

@Anonymous Apr 10, 2:39 PM,
"what is your advice to get him back on his toes then?"

I think maybe you should take some time to yourself -- and do nothing here. Make no decision about this man for a few weeks.

Because you're vacillating back and forth between dumping him and getting him back on his toes again. When you're moving between wanting to break up, and wanting to repair things. . .it's not the time to be making a final decision for yourself.

It's an indicator that feelings are in turmoil, decision making capabilities may be compromised, and as a result, wise decisions may not be made. Your judgment may be compromised by your emotions right now.

So don't make any decisions about the situation until a couple of weeks have passed, your emotions have subsided, and you can get a better feel for what it is that you really want.

Make decisions with a clear head and level emotions. In the meantime, take the pressure off of yourself about this man and the situation with him. Start spending lots of time with friends, go out to lunch or dinner, start pampering yourself, buy some new outfits or change your hair color or hair style - focus on YOU more, and HIM less.

And then see what happens and how that makes you feel - and go from there :-)

Anonymous said...


thank you so much and I must tell you that you are such a gentle soul, the time you take to explain and to help others I hope comes back to you ten times fold. I was never one to sit and wait for things to happen but I am an empath and somewhat wise in how I deal with things but sometimes when I have emotions I need others to tell me stop and think which you have. I was all gungho on just ending things yesterday when I could have talked to him but things just popping up that we weren't able to talk .. I took that as sign and I didn't push anything just let it rest. Today though we talked and it was a long talk and of course bringing up things being the aries he is blood flew in his brain and I said " I refuse to be treated this way" if you cannot sit and listen to someone then this makes no sense moving forward. "Well his tone went down and he said this is not what I want .. I don't want to be without this but I have not been making time for the things I have in front of me." that apparently opened a long conversation into opening up about things from his childhood and how he views things. I told him all you have to do is just see past the words and understand how someone else feels and what you do that makes them feel that way. He told me he needs a lot of work and he hope that I wont stop chizzling to help him be a better man. Not sure how to take all that but I am allowing myself the opportunity to assist without losing myself .. I will do all you say and keep doing everything for Me and what I need to do for myself and take it from there

Thank you so much -- you have helped me greatly

Anonymous said...

@MOA - I need your help again -- is there any way to talk with you other than here -- maybe at a cost ? let me know please

The Mirror of Aphrodite said...

@Anonymous Apr 20, 7:41 AM,
"Is there any way to talk with you other than here -- maybe at a cost?"

Here you go: http://www.mirrorofaphrodite.com/2015/09/ask-me-a-question.html

Anonymous said...


I made the mistake of texting this one aries guy and he swatted me away. After reading your article I feel a little bit embarrassed that I gave him that opportunity. (He got quite the ego boost).

Haven't heard from him in a week although we have one another on social media and he can see when I watch his stuff and vise versa.

Not sure what to do at this point. Since you are so good at dealing with Aries men do you think sitting tight and just waiting for him to make a move will be the best thing to do? Also, I was wondering if I should take any action with him via social media.

As a side note: I am talking to other guys on dating apps so I'm moving forward just in case he doesn't show.

The Mirror of Aphrodite said...

@Anonymous May 11, 10:58 PM,
"do you think sitting tight and just waiting for him to make a move will be the best thing to do?"

I wouldn't do anything (because you did that once already and it didn't go as planned). And I wouldn't wait on him to make a move either.

I would keep moving forward with my life, placing him squarely in my rear view mirror. If he's a genuinely interested man, he knows where to find you and he'll have to do the work to seek you out.

"I was wondering if I should take any action with him via social media."

I do not believe a woman needs to "remind" a man that she exists by staying on his radar. Many men see through that and label it as desperation, which is not the impression you ever want to give to a man. I would not give this man the impression that you're chasing him down by texting, interacting on social, etc. in an effort to garner his attention.

Instead, I would do the exact opposite. I would completely turn my attention away from him. I would continue dating other men and enjoying my friendships, etc. and showing him that I'm not waiting around for anyone. I'd show him that I have a full life. I have a lot of other male options. I have a lot of others in my life that want to see me and appreciate spending time with me. And I really don't need him or his attention at all.

And if he tried to text me, I would NOT respond immediately (possibly not at all).

I would completely turn the tables on him. I would take my power back, and take control of my own happiness. I would not give him any power over it by passively waiting around for him to make a decision about me.

When you're dating online and you encounter a man that "swats you away" as if he's got better things to do -- then you leave him to do those things. He's on his own. He gets none of your attention, because you don't reward rude behavior with more of your time and attention.

If he wants you, he knows where to find you. And if he seeks you out, at that time you can decide if you want to see him or not. . .if you're still single. If he does not seek you out, then you wasted none of your time on him anyway, so you haven't skipped a beat and life goes on. ;-)

Anonymous said...

Thank you Mirror! Your advice helps me so much.

Anonymous said...

This is very true and unfortunate that we aries have to be like this but c'est la vie I suppose. I'm an aries man and I broke up with my cancer ex quite brutally a little over 4 years ago. We went out for almost 3 years, it ended because I was mad she kept giving me the silent treatment and the relationship had gotten cold/boring all after a big argument we had almost a year before. The beginning was great, I never been with someone who loved me so genuinely so passionately, like she would do anything for me and I returned her love to the best of my ability and although there was some bad times we made up quite nicely. Towards the end she closed herself up, built her walls so high and left me feeling confused, lonely and depressed. I was also largely impatient and felt that not all our issues were particularly my fault. During this time in the last few months of our relationship I seeked a female friend and she found out about her. The friend was just someone to vent to and to ask for advice but she got jealous of course. She responded with further by not trusting me and giving me yet another silent treatment for about 2 weeks and during that time I starting talking to another person I met. Before I wanted to go any further with this new person I figured I'd end the relationship that was falling apart. Just when I was going to end it she contacted me and wanted to see me, now I was in a pinch that I created. Do I continue chasing this new girl, starting a new relationship with her or keep going with someone I knew would keep giving me the silent treatment after ever little fight and the relationship had lost its spark. After some thought I ended my previous relationship and in just a few days started dating the new girl. When I broke up with the cancer, she was a mess, crying fit, sorta begging, but I was blinded by my anger, that I had done so much for her trying to get her to forgive me. When it was over I fully displayed the new relationship, ending all communication, deleted photos, tried to erase all memory of her. In fact we were both experiencing a lot of pain and she entered a new relationship herself about a month after, which upset me further that I blocked her partly to keep myself from checking up on her and to help move on. I'm still with the new girl(whose an aries too) and after all this time and our relationship is no where as crazy as it was with the cancer. Anyways the first year or two I rarely thought of her and if I did it was with anger and I thought my actions were completely justified. But after that I felt a bit guilty on the way I handled the situation, but since so much time has now moved on the only thing I can do is learn from this experience and try not to repeat it. Most of these experiences are from the aries partners point of view so I figured I share it from the aries himself. By the way I am deeply sorry for how I broke her heart so cruelly and I feel it was simply reactionary, I'd never contact her but hopes shes found happiness.

The Mirror of Aphrodite said...

@Anonymous Aries Male,
Thank you for sharing that. I'm sure all of the women reading here over the years will appreciate that.

Reading your story made me want to ask - in general, do you feel that you fear being alone?

Anonymous said...

@The Mirror of Aphrodite,
Yes and no, we hate clinginess and we like our space and freedom from time to time in a relationship. Seeing myself single or alone I would hate waking up every morning knowing I don't have a companion or friend to share my energy with since I'm an extrovert. This could be why we jump into new relationships fast.

The Mirror of Aphrodite said...

@Aries Male,
"This could be why we jump into new relationships fast."

I can't tell you how many Aries men I know that have transitioned from one long term relationship into another in literally days. Leaving others to secretly wonder if they'd been cheating for months previous to that undetected. And basically pouring gasoline all over the bridge to their previous significant other, tossing a match, and watching that baby burn.

But I've also observed the fervor with which they burned that bridge down, lead to regrets that have just as much fervor surrounding them. Kinda' like an uncontrollable knee-jerk reaction.

This makes sense though astrologically speaking because Aries, being the first on the Zodiac wheel, is associated with the 0-7 age range - a bit childlike in nature. Similar to myself, a Taurus female, next up and second on the Zodiac wheel associated with the age range of 7-14 - the perpetual back-talking teenager LOL.

"we hate clinginess and we like our space and freedom from time to time"

Ladies reading here take note of the clingy reference. There's not another sign on the Zodiac wheel that hates clinginess in a mate more than Aries. (Aries females feel much the same, too.)

Clingy is the kiss of death with an Aries. Give them a long leash and they'll love you for it ;-)

Unknown said...

I'm a sag woman who just got into a big fight with my aries boyfriend 8 days ago. And we are now not together. I'm 5 months pregnant and he has been so disrespectful on and off. He says hurtful things like he's happy now he is with his wife. Yes we was engaged as well so this all because he is not in the house anymore and he is hurt. Is that the reason why he is trying to hurt me so bad. I have deeply apologized for everything that has played out between us and we spent time together over the past weekend talking and yes we did make love. But then the next day he started to be rude to me again. I'm confused and plus I'm emotional I think more because I am having his baby. Please help me understand what i should do .

The Mirror of Aphrodite said...

"He says hurtful things like he's happy now he is with his wife."

I'm confused. This is a married man?

Unknown said...

The Mirror of Aphrodite. Thank you for these detailed insight that feel very true and advice. I am dealing with an Aries, and relate to most of what the other women posted here. I recently cut the communication with Aries after a careless hurtful event happened, I do respect myself and don't accept that one along with previous. So it seems I acted the right way. If he reflects, takes courage to heal and humble, apologise, come towards in different way, great, otherwise no energy and time to waste in hurtful demeaning dominator game and the nothing. As when I look at it there is nothing. I know what I deserve and what I want.

Anonymous said...

Hey Mirror!

Thought I'd share a quick yet very telling interaction I had with this one aries guy I know.
Now, we were just chatting about astrology and while he totally dismisses the idea I thought I'd test him and ask him what he thought I was. (I'm a leo with a scorpio moon which amounts to heavy stubborn energy, probably not as stubborn as a full on Taurus native though haha)

He was like, "Taurus..?" And I just about burst into laughter because I've been following all the advice you've given us on how to handle these big fire babies. This man, this aries man, did not even know a thing about astrology but it was like he instinctually picked up on the Taurus tendencies I learned from you hehe.

In addition, before he left he stopped by a picture of my grandmother and literally marveled at her because it was a very attractive picture of her. Guess what sign she was? A Taurus! I had to hide my smirk because this was just too golden.

Anyway, many thanks to you for all you've been teaching us!

The Mirror of Aphrodite said...

@Anonymous October 19, 11:54 AM,
"He was like, "Taurus..?""

LOL! That's an awesome story, thank you for sharing that.

You're giving this man a good run for his money and he knows it, he senses it. And as much as he may pretend to be unaffected by it, his actions tell us otherwise. He IS affected by it, he senses what's taking place. . .and he's probably secretly "addicted" at this point. Ha! ;-)

Well done!

Anonymous said...

I am a 23 year old female Aquarius who had her first encounter with a 21 year old Aries. We met at work, but we didn't say much to ones other because we were busy. I started to notice he would intentionally do things to get my attention. Eventually, when I came into work would squeeze my shoulder or bump into me and say "hey". The flirtation continued for 3 months. On my last day on the job I asked him if he wanted my number. He quickly pulled out his phone to take it. After that we texted nonstop. We didn't get to see each other all that often. When I had time, I would stop by his house and watch TV with him. We went out to the beach one day and just walked around and talked. It was amazing and fun. We became intimate and few days later told me that he loved me and wanted me to have his children. I was a little off put by this. I felt that I loved him, so I said it back. We have had a few misunderstandings, but we always get back to each other. We aren't an item, but I wanted to be. I made that known and he said we would work on it. We had a recent falling out and angry words we spoken on his side. We didn't talk for almost a week. He texted me first and asked how I was and if I still wanted to have his baby. I told him yes. I honestly wouldn't mind having his kids. I've noticed things have changed. He texts me less and less. Whenever I want to see him, he is already out with his friends. I informed him that he seems to only want to be bothered when the situation benefits him in some way. I told him it's not fair to me to use and see me when its convenient for him. I said i will not be bothered with such behavior. He responded that he understood and is not mad with my choice. Its been 2 days since ive heard from him. I feel like im going insane. I want him in every way, but he keeps pushing me away. I don't know what to do. Help!

The Mirror of Aphrodite said...

@Anonymous Jan 4, 7:44 PM,
"he keeps pushing me away. I don't know what to do."

The best thing you can do for yourself is to move on, and continue to do well for yourself. You cannot control others. You can't make them want to be with you. You can only control your reaction to them.

In the future keep in mind that when a man's WORDS ("I love you") and his actions ("I don't want a relationship with you") do NOT align. . .it's a big red flag.

A man that's genuinely in love with a woman will WANT to be in a relationship with that woman - because he's not going to want another man to come steal her away from him. He's going to want to spend his free time with her. He's going to want to see and speak to her regularly. He's going to make her a priority in his life. He's going to want to do nice things for her like take her out on dates, treat her special, etc.

So when a man says "I love you" but does none of the above, his words are not aligning with his actions. He's saying one thing and then turning around and doing the exact opposite - and that should serve as a warning to the woman that the man is not being entirely honest with her.

And he may just be saying what the thinks she wants to hear, so that he can have his way with her :-(

Fooled Scorpio said...

Omg I wish I found this site a year and 4 months ago. I had no idea how these men worked until now and how eye opening this info is. I am a Scorpio and was friends with my Aries for 3 years only texting emailing at 1st. He had his life I had mine, we never seemed to actually meet face to face until he found out I broke up with this guy I was seeing then the charm came on strong and he pursued me for weeks until I went out to dinner with him. He wasn't my type at all at 1st then I don't know happened, he grew on me, so sweet and caring thoughtful. Fast forward we were together for a year and 4 months talks about a future, me moving it etc. Then all of a sudden a year and 4 months later out of no where no fights, he tells me there's a problem he still has feelings for his ex girlfriend. I was floored, shocked, felt like someone punched me in the stomach. So I packed things out of his house and left after him saying I didn't have to leave???
Unbelievable. He said he never really got over his ex.... wow but says we can friends and you never know we might have a chance in the future to be together again, and who knows maybe we would get married??? Wtf is wrong with Aries men.

Fooled Scorpio said...

Sorry continuing....he also let me know he texted her 2 months prior and found out she still had feelings for him and they were going to work things out slowly but try.
But that he still said that we could sometimes go to a movie or dinner and I could come over and visit the dogs and workout on his excercise equipment. My friends say I was too nice to him. I cooked I stayed at his house like 5 nights out of the week I still have a 17 yr. At home so I was back and forth like crazy. I cleaned his house every week, did his laundry, took care of his house and mine. Then all of a sudden I am replaced. I see now all the mistakes I made. He contacted me so much after the break up I was so upset. I finally am doing the no contact after reading this info. But at this point even if he came back I couldn't trust him because of how easy he disposed of me. But said I was perfect for him and we had a great relationship but he couldn't help his feelings.

Anonymous said...

I love your theory.
I've been dating an aries man for 5 months. I am scorpio woman. I always joke that he is punching, and I know he has insecurities, Scorpios are Intuitive. And because of seeing his insecurities I over compensate with trying to reassure him he's handsome and awesome in bed etc. He has spent 5 months showing and saying nice things, then out of the blue after our first mini break away, he ends things as he just doesn't see a future with me, even though we've spoke of house's and future holidays just days before. So yeah I've spent a few days bombarding him with my thoughts on what's going on in his head, and he feelings for me. Most of the time he's engaged in bickering back with me, we've never argued or anything until now. However from reading all these posts I have made a promise to myself to not msg him, nor to reply to him should he msg me.
I really love the guy, and in in ideal world would like a future with him. But also, can I be bothered with the whole game playing.....
Let's see how it goes.

Mr.Robot said...

These are trade secrets! Damn you woman! As an aries man I must find a way to destroy this page, even though the damage is done. My aries people who's with me? FIGHT TO THE DEATH!

The Mirror of Aphrodite said...

@Mr. Robot,

I must say I laughed out loud when reading your comment. As a Taurus female, I truly appreciate the classic Aries male sense of humor.

Seen as how this piece has been around for 7 years - going on 8 now - yea, us gals are all on to you by now ... the jig is up LOL ;-)

Anonymous said...


I need your help…I don't know how to feel. The Aries I've been on and off with for months just did what you described here in this profile.

About a month after he stopped talking to me, he posted on his profile a picture of a girl who looks very much like me and I honestly do not know how to feel. "I've seen many an Aries man, within days of a breakup, strut another woman in the previous womans face - and with great delight, like they just won the World Cup."

Oddly, this happened after I asked the Universe to send me a sign about this guy..I guess this is it?

I feel shocked..hurt? Relieved? I have no idea and honestly I am just looking for your advice on how to make sure this guy knows he cannot get one over me.

All the best to you and my fellow peers. Without your site…I have no idea what I'd do..

The Mirror of Aphrodite said...

@Anonymous Nov 29, 11:49 PM,

"Oddly, this happened after I asked the Universe to send me a sign about this guy..I guess this is it?"

Listen to your gut. It's your built in warning system. This guy clearly runs hot and cold and obviously does spiteful, hurtful things. He doesn't appear ready for a true commitment. And chances are if you hang in there with him, he'll do this again and again and again - and in that process, you'll end up getting hurt each time.

So think about that. Think about whether or not this man's worth putting yourself through that time and again.

"I am just looking for your advice on how to make sure this guy knows he cannot get one over me."

No contact, no response - 30 days: http://www.mirrorofaphrodite.com/2012/11/dating-when-why-how-use-no-contact-rule.html

That's how you send a message that there's a consequence for treating you like this. And it's also how you protect yourself emotionally from becoming too invested into a man that's not making the same level of investment into you.

Give yourself plenty of time to disconnect emotionally so that you can think clearly and make a well informed decision for yourself about whether or not this man is worth keeping in your life.

In any event, there MUST BE A CONSEQUENCE for treating you like this ... and that consequence is NO MORE ACCESS TO YOU. Do not contact him, and do not respond to him for at least 30 days.

If at the end of those 30 days you feel he's worth it, then you can respond at that time. If at the end of those 30 days you do not feel he's worth it, then there's no need to respond and by then, you've already worked past the hard part ;- )

Anonymous said...

Hi Mirror,

Thank you for your response and for pointing me to your other article. I read through it and I plan to deliver consequences for treating me like this with no contact. If anything, I feel much better trying to take a stand for myself and having your advice really helps me do that.

I guess it is time to work through the hard part and I can already feel time healing me.

Kira said...

I met my Aries man online, in a community of psychology and emotional healing we're both passionate about, 4 months ago.
We'd been talking every single day for hours and hours sometimes, I've never in my life had such a good connection to a man. I'm a Sag in my 30s.
He lives in a different country. After two months of daily calls he professed his feelings for me and we had the best time ever..for a month. Then out of nowhere he ditched our plans and made me feel kinda unwanted, enough to trigger me, and I don't get triggered easily. We both have had bad relationships in the past, so we're very aware and patient and mostly healthy in terms of how we communicate.
And even though he's a first week of April kinda guy, he's sweet and compassionate and even romantic at times. But he never defined our relationship, even though he has used that word before in our terms.. But after that trigger (and I am open with him about my feelings) I feel like he started testing me.
A week before my birthday he responded coldly to one of my regular texts and disappeared for a week. I didn't reach out for a week, it was the first time we'd been out of contact for more than a day (now I'm remembering we did have a 10 day break of no contact, just in the beginning of our communication, where he was struck by his feelings for me, and needed to step back and evaluate if they're real, and decided that he's ready for a relationship. That was months ago)
I digress, so after a week of no contact I legit got worried that something must have happened to him, so I reached out.. He was fine.. It took me some time to let myself get close to him again. I even told him I'd feel more comfortable taking space and enjoying my space if I got a text, knowing that he'd be gone. He understood and accepted it.
But now.. only 10 days later, after we were intimate for the first time after that disappearance, he dropped off the map again. We were supposed to watch a movie the next day, he canceled and didn't make any plans. MIA since. No text, no nothing. New Years Eve passed.. crickets. 4 days of no contact. I'm staying strong and not reaching out this time.
He was supposed to come visit me in my country the beginning of this month, so I am very confused what this is.. He says he cares for me and I mean a lot to him, and that when he takes space it's pure space, that there's no problems. But this doesn't feel like healthy space to me, it feels like a game. I love space, when both partners know it's all good, space is crucial! Just disappearing like that though, after getting close! It's traumatizing.
I did mention I "missed his face" in the week before his disappearance, casually, and he has never used that word before with me. He's 34.. very guarded, very freedom oriented.
I could have sworn he loved me a month ago.. now I don't even know what to think.
Any advice would be greatly appreciated and
Happy New Year!!

Kira said...

Hi Mirror,
I hope this thread is still alive as there's so many amazing responses in here.
I hoped I could get your perspective on my case as well.
I met my commitment-phob Aries guy in August. (He's a first week of April as well). We had the most amazing deep and meaningful conversations about everything and anything from childhood traumas to music, every day for hours for four months. After 2 months he confessed his strong feelings for me and our communication became more romantic. He told me he'd been keeping away from women altogether for 4 years, since his ex (narcissistic violent ex) and that meeting me changed his mind, and he suddenly was ready for a relationship.
All was amazing, I've never felt so connected to another soul in y life, for a month and a half after his confession.. Then out of nowhere mid december he disappeared without a word for a couple of days. I didn't think much of it the first 2 days but after the 4th I was legit very concerned. We had been talking daily for months and he was always initiating. So after those 4-5 days his name day came up and I wished him a happy name day. We ended up talking about the space and he assured me (even though I didn't ask) that time away doesn't change the way he feels for me and that it actually makes him fall for me more. I on the other hand told him that I'd feel more comfortable getting a little text letting me know he'd be needing some space the next time.. He seemed to understand.
We had planned to spend a week together early January, we'd talked about it for over a month.. A week after his disappearing act, and us coming close again, just enough to have an intimate conversation over the phone, he disappeared again.
We had had a small argument over a misunderstanding where he felt rejected, even though that wasn't what I was doing.. We talked it over and resolved it, or so I thought. The day after the argument he canceled on our movie. The following day I felt him being distant and just sent him some links he had asked for, to which he thanked me and told me he'd check them out. They were about our plans. He never talked to me after that. Disappeared. No text no nothing. Ghost.
I didn't try to text him either. I felt he was pushing me away so didn't wanna chase. I can't believe he ghosted me.All this time I thought he was gonna reach out.. It's been over a month now. I know he's alive. He watches my videos online (probably doesn't know I can tell) but doesn't comment or reach out. After 3 weeks of silence I got angry and deleted all of our conversation history on the apps we were connecting on. I haven't blocked him. But I did delete him. He can still reach out. But I think he can see I've deleted him. :\

I know I shouldn't want him after this ghosting act, but we both come from such bad childhoods, I can see his avoidant attachment style patterns for what they are, when he gets triggered. Throughout the whole 4 months he was solid, calm, patient and always willing to talk things over and problem solve with me. I don't think he's a narcissist, just really really scared to get close again. He told me he needs to isolate sometimes for weeks and that this has happened before in his previous relationships. I too isolate but being ghosted is an unhealthy personal space, I know that..
I guess I'd like to ask you if there's a way to make him respect me more and value me in case he shows up, and actually show up with his vulnerability.
I've read the amazing turn arounds some women here have managed to achieve.

Kira said...


I wouldn't be writing this if I didn't feel in my heart that he was my guy, as stupid as this might sound with the way he treated me. This experience has been extremely hurtful, on some days I just wanna write him a goodbye mail and never look back. But for now I'm keeping my cool. Haven't managed to stop thinking about him at all. I know if he comes back he'd have to work extremely hard on earning my trust, if at all..
Hoping for advice.
Thankful in advance ^_^

The Mirror of Aphrodite said...


"He told me he needs to isolate sometimes for weeks and that this has happened before in his previous relationships."

That's fine. But if that's the case, this man has no business being in a committed relationship. Because a committed relationship requires - commitment. It's not fair to zip in and out of someone's life without warning, expecting them to be okay with it because that's the way you are.

If that's the way you are - then you need to remain single until you're actually ready to make a commitment.

"I'd like to ask you if there's a way to make him respect me more and value me in case he shows up, and actually show up with his vulnerability."

Here's the thing - none of this has anything to do with you.

So you changing your behavior isn't going to lead to any changes within him. He's admitted that he's stayed away from relationships for years because of his personal problems, and unless and until HE WORKS THROUGH THAT HIMSELF - he will not change.

You can't control another - you can only control your reaction to them.

When this guy returns (and he likely will) you need to NOT JUMP OR RESPOND right away. You need to send him a message. And that message is this: If he's going to take you for granted, take it for granted that you'll be there no matter how poorly he treats you, then he will NOT HAVE ACCESS TO YOU.

He's not in control of this. YOU have equal say in the matter as well. And you don't reward bad treatment with more of your attention.

A lot of men that behave like this, they EXPECT the woman to jump upon their return. They expect her to be SO happy that he's resurfaced, that she forgets how badly he's treated her and just starts right back up with him again.

So think about that. If you want lots of attention from someone, what's the best way to get it?

Disappear - then return.

And they'll reward you for it by showering you with lots of attention and jumping at your beck and call.

DON'T do that. Because if you do, you'll be sending him the message that he can treat you as poorly as he wants, and you'll always be there no matter what.

If you really want this man to value you, and what you had together -- then HE needs to experience what it's like to NOT HAVE YOU in his life. He needs to worry if you'll ever respond. He needs to worry about who you're with and what you're doing. He needs to understand that there are consequences for treating people poorly.

If I were you, I would ignore this man upon his return.

And I would not respond for weeks, until I was good and ready. And when I did respond, I would not be accommodating to him. Instead, he would have to PROVE HIMSELF to me by treating me kindly, following through on his actions, and wanting to talk things through to explain his actions without fluffing me off like it's no big deal and I should just get over it.

You're a human being with real feelings. His behavior has done damage to your self-confidence and sense of self-worth. If he can't be bothered to take the time to explain himself and his behavior thoroughly to you - and make repeated attempts to do so after tossing you aside - then he's emotionally immature and not worth your time.

If he's mature, he'll understand the need for this and he'll make repeated attempts to explain himself in an effort to repair things with you.

If you ignore him and he's not willing to do that work to fix things with you, then he's not worth it. He needs time to himself to grow up a bit and learn to value the things in life that are important.

Anonymous said...

I would love to have your advice with this Aries man I know. So I met him in his work place and I texted him to enquire about a service where his workplace offered. It slowly grew up to casual and short and sweet conversations (although I told him I’m not interested with the service so our talk has nothing to do with his work) we talk about random topics, travels, interests etc. I secretly like this guy and he’s a shy type of person (his venus is Pisces btw) he always checks on whatever I post in my daily stories. I post random things I do or post funny memes but I dont post too much I mean. What he does, opens the story and initiates a conversation. one day I was filming a video while driving and he scolded me nicely by not to use my phone while driving. I thought its very sweet of him. So he kept texting me as I text him randomly sometime each week or two, until I drove again while filming and he scolded me even more and I was like oww but its cute that u care about me! Then he suddenly became a bit colder..! Still often, he initiates and texts me random memes and goes silent when I reply, random messages when I travel to his town welcoming me and we have little talk then he goes silent or hints he’s about to. He gets really cold and suddenly after one month or two he randomly sends me a funny video or greets me with his short conversations and goes silent. giving me his silence treatment now for about 1.5 month. And never opens my status at all. I dont do that too. I actually like this guy very much only we’ve been doing this for 2 years now and I dont even know how he feels towards me or why he texts me out of the blues if he’s not interested for example. Thing is, I kept him initiating conversations most of the time, and I reply him nicely, and when he does that, i feel invited to initiate a random conversation too. But he’s very mysterious, I dont feel he opens up with me, even when I try to. And I’m reaching to the point that I’m getting very tired of this circle. What do I do with him?

Anonymous said...

I’m a Taurus female who was briefly talking to an Aries males online. Things progressed very quickly and he was ready to jump on a plane and rush out here to meet me. He even mentioned the “L” word after only knowing me a solid two weeks. Let’s just say the insane passion split us both wide open and now we’re in limbo; we are no longer speaking at all because the feelings just got to be too much.

He started playing games big time. Kept threatening to “walk away” as he put it so I finally got fed up with him I iced him out. He blew up my phone for 3 days and after the 10th message I finally gave in and responded.

I told him some things that were very emotional and intimate, and he did exactly as you described Aries men do frequently, he backed off completely. So when he did finally contact me again a week later, I iced him out again. This time for good.

The thing is, he won’t delete me on social media and he keeps liking my posts I assume to stay on my radar. And it’s working. Truthfully I think about him all the time but I’m not budging. I’m not going to contact him at all whatsoever. I wish I could but I know he’s going to back off again and treat me badly once I do.

Any advice? Should I forget about this guy or should I try to reach out to him? I miss him a lot and I miss our conversations but I can’t deal with the games.

Anonymous said...

Hi Mirror,

Thank you so much for the time you've spent writing this post as well as answering so many of these comments. Your insight into the Aries man has truly been immeasurable!

I have a question regarding an Aries man that I (a Leo woman) have had a recent encounter with. He and I met at work and the chemistry was immediate! I needed help with something and caught his eye and he came over, and stood so close to me, I thought he was going to kiss me at one point. (We are mandated to wear masks now at work, so that wouldn't have happened anyway lol.) He was really friendly and helped me with what I needed and I went back to my cubicle. He followed me back and we talked for the next hour, though we were both bogged down with things to do.

I saw him again the next day and we talked for quite a while again and after learning that he had never been to Trader Joe's, I suggested we take a trip there, and I also suggested that we exchange numbers so we could make that happen (oy vey, I know lol).

We never made it to Trader Joe's, but we did talk for several hours over the phone that night and the next. A couple of nights later, out of the blue, he sent me a picture of his legs sticking out of his truck window. I was perplexed and had no idea how to reply to that, so I called him instead. He picked up and told me that he was just out because he needed to get out of the house and was now sitting on a swing at a park. I felt sad that he was alone (who knew at this point that he was an Aries lol), and told him that I wanted to see him and asked if I could join him at the park, to which he said yes and texted me his location.

We spent the following 7 hours, from 11pm to 6am, talking by the lake. We found a picnic table to sit on by the dock and just had many nice, meandering conversations. Some things I think may be important before I ask for your insight are that he mentioned that he thought this was really rare, that he could be with someone and be so comfortable, even in our moments of silence, and also that he wasn't tired at all that whole night. We were very open with each other about a myriad of things.. and at a point, I asked him if he had ever been in love or told a woman that he loved her. He replied that he said it once when he was a freshman in college, but he didn't know if he was really even in love. He followed that by asking, "What does it even feel like to be in love? What is love anyway?" I told him what I thought it was and he kissed the top of my head (I was leaning on him, with my head on his shoulder). He kissed my head a few other times throughout the night, but that was the extent of the physicality. The other thing that sticks out to me from that night, before I ask my question, is his belief that couples who withstand the test of time are usually those that are friends first before they become lovers.


Anonymous said...

Now, my confusion with him lies in the fact that though I have openly told him that I am not looking to be in a relationship with anyone (as I've been in two serious relationships back to back in the past), but I am interested in just having some "fun" with him.. and NADA. He spoke as though he was interested when I mentioned it (I mean sex without attachments, isn't that a man's dream come true?), but so far a week and a half has passed and there hasn't been a single instance of him wanting to schedule some time for it. Why is that? We clearly have great chemistry and I don't look like a complete ogre.. so why is he being so hesitant as an Aries man? Is it because even sexual encounters need to be chased and won?

He still comes up to me at work and talks to me, but the texting is not as frequent or energetic and the phone calls have gone extinct. He has sent me a couple of dick pics out of the blue, but other than that and the follow-up conversation, not much. It was strange that even when I was trying to be flirtatious and said, "I guess it's time for that blowjob", he said "soon, yes (winky face)".. but left it to be an indefinite "soon".

I have a test drive coming up in a couple of days, so I called him earlier (no reply), so I texted him and asked if he still wanted to come to that, and to let me know so that I could take someone else if he's unavailable. He apologized for not being able to call me back and sent me a picture of his best friend with his wife (he spends a lot of time with them), and said "Yes, I would really like to be there for you."

I don't understand what is going on, truly. Does he just want to be friends? If so, why am I receiving the occasional dick pic from him? I like him in person so much, but whoever he is when there isn't any physical presence between us is maddening! Any insight into what you think is going on would be so, SO helpful!

Anonymous said...

Hello Mirror, when an Aries man with Piscese venus and taurus mercury randomly texts me, and when we engage in a conversation suddenly he withdraws, and comes back with another random texts, such as commenting on my status, suddenly sending me videos of where he traveled, but doesnt let the conversation go very deep. How does that translate to? My response is usually friendly, i think he knows i like him. I text him around the same time frame he initiate a conversation, but i’m unable to speak with him freely due to his sudden act of withdrawal. I’m unable to know how to deal with him. I’m not sure if thats just no interest, or is it that he’s acting cautious, or is trying to keep it safe for perhaps not knowing what I might be thinking of. I do wish to hear from you as the responses are very insightful!

saggie said...

Hi, I know this is going to sound like so many other posts here and that I know my answer but I would love your thoughts as all your responses are amazing!

I started hanging out with this Aries 2 years ago, we've been friends for many years but I moved away. When we reconnected it was like I was talking to my best friend. He came to visit me a few times and we texted on a daily basis for months but I did start to feel him pulling away & just let him go but we did keep in touch. I then moved back to our home town and he came over the day I moved with flowers and wine. (I should add in that he's a notorious ladies man and every woman in town has a crush on him)

We talked for hours. We ended up kissing and he tells me "I shouldn't" because he was with someone else - and he had been for the past 2 months. I was shocked that he could still text me the way he was while 'committing' to someone else. It broke my heart I won't lie. I then went no contact as did he. For 5 months.

During that time he had moved this girl and her child in with him (and I dated someone else) and then started phoning me again. The calls became more frequent and always flirty although I put him in his place multiple times (I'm a sag so blunt as hell). He then started dropping by for a drink. I'd ensure it was friendly but every time we'd say goodbye we'd kiss.

I knew that had to end so I told him I had to stop seeing him one on one (we have mutual friends) and he said he understood and wouldn't want to ruin our friendship because "you never know".

Fast forward to two months ago - he broke up with her and started with regular phone and texts again. He was always asking for advice and venting his anxieties (we both have anxiety issues). Then he was asking me to go shopping with him and to help with this and that - which I did and we ended up spending quite a lot of time together over the past 6 weeks and having sex (yes, I know, ugh!) One night when he was drunk he kept asking me to tell him I loved him "Oh, come on just say it" and I did but said "it's a love/hate thing". We constantly take the piss out of each other. The annoying part is we get along so well as friends I wish I'd never crossed that line with him but it's too late because the feelings are there.

Like most Aries on here he can be very hot and cold and he does flake on plans which I hate. I know I screwed up by being available when he returned in my life and that I should be paying attention to the red flags listed here already but there is a part of me that feels I have these huge walls up (terrible divorce) and that maybe I should try and show more vulnerability to see if he mirrors that in return?

Or to at least tell him I can't do the FWB thing anymore and that I have feelings for him? If he runs, then good riddance.

I feel like he's often dropping comments (maybe I could just move with you, when can I meet your mom) etc., to gauge my reaction and I don't react or I say something sarcastic in response. We are both very bad communicators when it comes to our emotions and feelings and part of me wants to try to see if that is part of the issue or if he's just a good old fashioned player and none of what I feel is real :(

Gem said...

Hi, I know this thread is old but I'm hoping you're still responding. I am a Gemini woman and my Aries man is 12 years my senior. We've known of each other for a very long time being that we grew up in the same neighborhood but because of the age gap I never got to hang out with him. After high school I went to military and came back 10 years later. A few years after returning home I started to hang in the same crowds as my Aries man and that's when the flirting and chase began. Of course me being a Gemini I loved the flirting antics and attention but I would never give in. We would laugh joke and have good times just as friends but than one day he told me he loved me and of course I didn't believe him because I figured he just wanted to get in my pants. Fast forward a year later after taking the time to get to know him and realizing we both have similar backgrounds he was also in the military and falling for his charming ways I told him I loved him and he says he loves me as well. We decided to start a relationship at first it was great but than the roller coaster ride began. He is so insecure he hates when I talk to another man and swears my friends are trying to set me up with other guys. I'm a Gemini a social butterfly with a kind heart so all these accusations drive me insane. It's like I'm dating a teenager and talking doesn't work because you can't get one word in. He listens to back stabbing ppl who tells lies on me and we have broken up some many times that I can't count. He tells me he loves me all the time and how he has never should public affection with any other woman but me. I try so hard to get over him but I can't and he says the same about me and it just seems like our routine of breaking up to making up. But every time we do break up I care less and less. He has even asked me to marry him before. I love him but this crap is getting old. What's your thoughts?

The Mirror of Aphrodite said...

"There is a part of me that feels I have these huge walls up (terrible divorce) and that maybe I should try and show more vulnerability to see if he mirrors that in return?"

Show more vulnerability when dating - YES.

Show vulnerability to a man that's already shown you what he's capable of (cheating, flaking, etc.) - NO.

"Or to at least tell him I can't do the FWB thing anymore and that I have feelings for him?"

You can do that but here's the thing - even if he says he has feelings for you, he's already shown you that when he's unhappy in a relationship ... he not above stepping outside of it to ensure he makes a smooth transition right into a new relationship after his old one ends. So how could you ever trust him, or his words, anyway?

"Part of me wants to try to see if that is part of the issue or if he's just a good old fashioned player and none of what I feel is real"

Your feelings are real. And his could be as well. Problem I see here is that his can be fleeting ... they can burn out as quickly as they ignite.

Be careful. Don't hand your heart to someone that's already shown you he can be reckless with it. If you want to continue to have fun with him, then do so.

But if it's a solid, committed relationship you're seeking ... a man behaving such as this is pretty much showing you he's either 1) not ready or 2) doesn't want the same thing for himself.

Men that are ready for relationships and truly want commitment don't behave like this generally speaking. They tend to show more consistency, reliability, loyalty, honesty, etc. in their daily lives.

In other words, their actions / behavior in their daily life tend to align with their desires internally.

That doesn't mean this guy is a bad dude. It just means he may not be on the same page as you, and he may not want the same things in life as you.

The Mirror of Aphrodite said...

@Anonymous Oct 20, 11:22 PM,
"He says I don’t listen and don’t respect his privacy by showing up whenever I want to his place"

I say he doesn't listen to how his behavior is making you feel, and he doesn't show you respect as his girlfriend.

"I just wanted to gage your perspective, who is more on the wrong?"

Well, it's not so much about right or wrong here as it is about respect. When a man that's in a committed relationship with a woman starts to hide her from his friends or starts hiding certain parts of his life from her ... he's basically risking the entire relationship knowingly at that point.

And if you were to do the same to him, you'd be disrespecting him and your relationship as well. I don't think he'd appreciate that, or stand for it, at all.

He seems very insensitive to your feelings and disrespectful to you as the woman in his life.

"Is he worth reconciling with?"

In my opinion - NO.

That's a huge show of disrespect that will only lead to mistrust and eventually that mistrust will lead to the demise of the entire relationship.

I ended a two year relationship over something similar. The man didn't invite me to attend the Christmas party his employer threw. Significant others were welcome, but I was not invited.

One week later, out the door he went.

One week after that, he moved in with his new girlfriend (that he worked with).

I'm sorry to say but - a man or woman that's showing that amount of blatant disrespect is pretty much ending the relationship right then and there in my opinion.

The Mirror of Aphrodite said...

"it just seems like our routine of breaking up to making up"

That's toxic dear. It's not a healthy dynamic for either one of you :-(

"I love him but this crap is getting old. What's your thoughts?"

If you're no longer happy in the relationship, unfortunately, it's time to let go.

Relationships are supposed to be fun, enjoyable and supportive. When that's no longer what it is, it's time to say goodbye and release one another from the toxic situation.

Scorpio said...

Atleast your sexual experience was great...mine is TRASH. And he’s extremely over macho...throws temper tantrums...weird ass energy. DONE.

Roshney said...

This is exactly what I’m going through. The way he talks is disrespectful so we are on a break right now.

Anonymous said...

Yep! I think earth signs THINK they get it but really don’t. It’s true the Aries is going to be attracted to Taurus b/c of Venus but they don’t truly understand em. That’s like a libra claiming to truly understand a Scorpio. You see patterns but you don’t really get them.
Us air and fire signs get it. And if a LEO woman is telling you about them? You should definitely listen because no one one earth can relate to Aries the way Leo can. I’m an air sign and I can’t stand Aries men. The rest of you think it’s cute and funny because you so called love the challenge but Aries react completely different to Leo, Aqua and Gemini women.

Anonymous said...

Yep. That’s Aries men in general. That’s why I don’t date em. They’re annoying in a similar childish way virgos are annoying.
They make good bed partners tho. Just sleep with me and throw me out

Anonymous said...

He’s insecure.

Anonymous said...

Yeah but Taurus is similar but definitely not the same. Aries is another breed entirely.

Anonymous said...

Yep that’s pretty much Aries in a nutshell

Anonymous said...

Yeppppppp they do that when they’re hurt. He’ll get over it.

Anonymous said...

I am with aries man but m really confused how to handle this type of person, he always hurt me emotoinally n physically ...i.. need help..., m cancerian and my husband is Mar Aries..

Anonymous said...

Im with a aries he controlling I don't think I can take it anymore he tries to control everything wasn't supportive of my new job it hurt my feelings
It seems nothing I do is good enough I wanna cry

The Mirror of Aphrodite said...

@Anonymous August 7, 11:40AM,

Your Aries sounds like he could potentially be a narcissist:


Read that and see if it raises any red flags.

Anonymous said...

Girl... that whole thing...same...to the t and I he just had a great time telling me off and I pretended to cry and he felt bad but couldn't show it in front of who ever was next to him..haha ugh challenge accepted...cus I can act a whole fool too....but mines to see if he can actually brake up with me ...he cant

Anonymous said...

Cancer female married to Aries male 40 years
The Aries male always want you to be honest . Of course so does everyone else. See with an Aries you have to be so careful what you tell them, beware they lose it on the small stuff! My husband always told me I was I lied I cheated on him all this bull shit!! Finally I said to him it’s nice for you can say anything and I take . With me your wife you never believe us anyway!! Lol a true Aries male at work

Anonymous said...

We love them n leave them... if an Aries disappear its because the found out your mind games n tricks. Aries give give people a period of time to be their true self. If you are still acting after that time, they will dissappear. They are not like Taurus who will hate you and keep you around for favours. Plus Aries like capricorn is detached and prefer to be mostly alone. Aries like pure love if it's contaminated they don't want it... they like good girls who act naughty for them. If you are soft with n Aries they will be soft with you.

Broken people can be found in all signs. All people will be a particular way if they have been used and abused over lifespan.

Anonymous said...

I love Aries men! Just met first one in my life at 1/2 century old! So happy to finally meet a ‘real’ man to challenge and protect me. I absolutely love, love, love my guy!

Anonymous said...

I’m a Leo and my man is an Aries ! And boy it’s a drama show . We have had intermissions . But not for too long . Every time I would put my pride to the side and try to fix stuff . It’s like a waste of time he plays it cool and acts like he don’t care but the minute I pull back and get cold and don’t want to deal with him anymore … he starts running in . Push and pull . I have a hard time not speaking my mind so he gets cursed out out from time to time and it turns him on ,but I don’t fall for it bc I’m mad , he realize he could woo me and distract me he turns into victim and now I did something to him and now I’m apologizing ! ???? We lived together for a year or so . Every time we get into a big fight , he’s packing his stuff and going back to his moms house . Like he’s threatening me with his presence . Like I can’t make you happy ima just leave . If I don’t chase him , he comes back two days later like nothing happened . It’s so annoying!!!! I just continue my days and leave him alone bc you clearly don’t want to be here . But then he comes back . It’s like he runs from the fight ! The fight he caused ! And then says I did this or I did that!? No accountability And I’m curious to know what part did you play?????? So finally we had the last fight and I actually helped him pack his stuff and took back my key and we been separated for two weeks / we are back communicating but I’m very short answered. If he does come back what’s the trick to stop the grand exits and grad entrances? Bc that is manipulative and almost abusive. I can’t fight back without you running away? But yet you can cause the issue ! And now I’m apologizing for my aggression and now we not even addressing the original problem. Then that gets swiped under the rug . How do I stop the push and pull and the packing and coming back ? Just need alittle advice , We might not get back together but never know .

The Mirror of Aphrodite said...

@Anonymous Leo Male,
"If he does come back what’s the trick to stop the grand exits and grand entrances?"

For him to work on himself and his abandonment issues (that he projects into the relationship - i.e. I'm leaving you before you leave me, to ensure that I am always the one in control of the entire situation).

You cannot trick someone into doing anything. But what you can do is refuse to continue accepting the behavior and accepting him back. At some point you'll have no choice but to do this once you realize it's become a fully toxic environment.

"Bc that is manipulative and almost abusive."

100% it's entirely abusive, hence the toxic environment it creates.

"I can’t fight back without you running away?"

View it differently. You're not fighting back, you're simply unwilling to settle for less than you deserve. And he's not running away, he's projecting abandonment issues into the relationship. So then it becomes, "I can't settle for less than I deserve with someone who has unresolved abandonment issues."

It then becomes HIS problem to fix, and it's no longer yours. See what I mean?

And that's not manipulation. It's truth - cold, hard truth - and you stand behind that truth. Because it doesn't allow him to then shift the blame and project those unresolved issues onto you to fix, accept or deal with. It becomes forced accountability and puts the focus square on the real problem, which is his unresolved abandonment issues.

"But yet you can cause the issue!"

He IS the issue. And he's working his issues out on you.

Cont ...

The Mirror of Aphrodite said...

I'm not saying you're perfect. None of us are. If we were perfect, we'd all be Gods. But in these specific instances, when there's trouble in the relationship -- his abandonment issues are being triggered. And then fear sets in: "He's upset. He's going to leave me. He's going to dump me. I cannot go through that again. I cannot be made to feel worthless or powerless ever again. So I'm going to exert MY POWER here by taking complete CONTROL of the situation -- and abandoning HIM before he abandons me."

It's a power play for control. Because when his abandonment issues are triggered, he instantly begins to feel POWERLESS.

"And now I’m apologizing for my aggression"

1) Cease becoming agressive (defensive) in these situations.
2) Lean into him instead with acceptance (offense that puts HIM on the defense), "I'm sorry that you feel that way. I'm sorry that you're upset right now. And before your abandonment issues are triggered, just tell me what you need from me and I will do my best to be honest as to whether or not I can provide that to you."

This places YOU into the power position (offense) and puts HIM into a position of accepting truth, becoming accountable, and being honest about what it is he needs from you and what it is he's dealing with internally.

And THAT can compel open, honest, healthy communication. OR he can choose to fall into defense mode and become the agressor himself. But either way, regardless of which he chooses ... it's no longer YOUR problem to deal with, it's HIS.

He's forced to decide, "Do I become honest here with him and myself in an attempt to truly communicate, or do I blow a gasket and mess this all up?" If he blows a gasket and muddies it up further, then it's undeniable that he's the one who acted improperly.

I'm gonna' say this and it's going to sound manipulative but it's not. The truth here is that he's playing you like a fiddle by getting you to be the one that's always be on the defensive. And he's doing that because when you fall prey to that and you give in and you take the defensive role, it permits him to not be accountable for his behavior that caused the issue in the first place.

It becomes a situation where it's no longer about HIS ACTIONS, but instead it suddenly becomes all about YOUR REACTION.

Stop falling for that. Stop falling into the defensive role. Instead, play offense by not engaging him in battle (becoming defensive) and keep the focus squarely on the issue at hand - his actions.

Because once you REACT (become defensive), he's got you right where he wants you ... and now it's all your fault because you reacted a certain way (and it's no longer about him or his behavior).

As a side note, narcissists are VERY well versed at that maneuver. They will poke, poke, poke until they get you to blow a fuse -- and then they'll become the victim and target the focus onto your reaction. It's how they maintain power over others and their chosen "source".

"How do I stop the push and pull and the packing and coming back?"

By controlling your REACTION to HIS ACTIONS ... and no longer accepting this behavior.

Because the truth is -- people can only treat you as bad AS YOU LET THEM.

That's where your accountability comes into play. You need to become accountable for how you're reacting to all of this, and you need to no longer accept it.

If it continues to happen - it's because YOU have ALLOWED it to happen by repeatedly accepting it.

You need to become accountable for your own happiness -- and you need to start PROTECTING it.

Walking away from someone you love is terribly painful. I've had to do it myself, more than once.

Each and every time I've done it, I've had to repeatedly say to myself, "Yes, you love them. But you love YOURSELF MORE. You cannot save them from themselves. You weren't put on this earth to sacrifice your own happiness to become someone else's savior."

Again, people can only treat you as poorly as you let them.

I hope this helps :- )

Anonymous said...

Be your fabulous self. Send that text! Im Taurus Leeo rising, Aries obsessed;)

Anonymous said...

Sorry to tell you Aries don’t walk away we loose interest easily and move on to a new adventure because for us life is adventurous and more things to discover before we die

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