"Mirror, Mirror on the wall . . . where did he go, and why doesn't he call?"

Virgo Man: Svengali Of The Zodiac

"Svengali would either fawn or bully and could be grossly impertinent. He had a kind of cynical humour that was more offensive than amusing and always laughed at the wrong thing, at the wrong time, in the wrong place."

The Virgo man can be likened to such a character in many ways, particularly in love and relationships. In love, he tends to prefer a woman who is a "clean slate" of sorts. A woman who comes across as rather unassuming and somewhat plain, free of beauty products on her face and rather natural in character and appearance.

By now you may be thinking, "Oh, he prefers a natural beauty." Upon first glance, it may appear so. However, the reality is that his intentions run much deeper here and a woman like this tends to appeal to his creative side. Creative side, you ask? If you view a Virgo man through his perspective, you soon come to realize that he's drawn to a malleable (i.e. controllable) woman of sorts, one whom he can, much like an artist, place his colors upon as a blank canvas of sorts, building and caressing her into creation with each stroke.

His intended transformation of you may unfold in hurtful observations. If he doesn't like your haircolor, he may come right out and make a rude comment about it. If he doesn't like all the makeup you wear, he'll come right out and tell you how gross all that stuff on your face is. He'll get his point across and his Svengali like nature may compell him to do it in 'not so nice' ways that display his cynical hidden tendencies.

On The Flip Side

Many a Virgo man will wrestle with his compulsion towards the unassuming type of woman and, as a result, will find themselves with older, sexually experienced women. Those vamps and bar flys that he can learn a thing or two from. Again, back to the Svengali aspect, a Virgo man can easily take a whore and flip her into a Madonna - or so he thinks. Virgo male likes to service and perfect and this type gives him alot to work with.

Slowly, he will begin to peel away the whore aspect of this mate and repaint her with his artist brush into his ideal vision of a Stepford Wife or soon to be soccer mom.

Either way you slice it, you tend to find a Virgo man stripping a woman clean so that he may rebuild her into something that fulfills his vision of her.

Virgo males are also drawn to taboo issues and will readily explore anything considered so. Their chameleon like tendency will cause them to completely reinvent themselves with the changing of each and every mate. When you dated him, he hated going to nightclubs and preferred sitting at home, complaining and watching movies or playing video games. When he moved onto his next mate, he turned into a carefree "Club Kid" who never spends more than 15 minutes in his apartment.

Virgo men also have a tendency to rub people the wrong way. It's almost as if, upon first meeting, people can sense the underlying negativity and his somewhat cold demeanor can put people off. There's also an underlying sense of "false" with a Virgo male in that, they are chameleons of sorts with different groups of people.

Because Virgo Man Tends To Feel He Doesn't Fit In

He will over compensate for that by attempting to become what the situation calls for at the moment. He'll be one way with friends, another with co-workers and yet another with potential mates. I had one Virgo male actually say to me:

"I don't like for my worlds to collide."

Any statement such as that immediately signals to others that there's "something going on here" that doesn't feel quite right.

Virgo men are a melancholy bunch and you can sense disapproval before he even opens his mouth. To say that Virgo male sees the world as an imperfect place would be an understatement. Obstacles, challenges, crisis and set backs are what he sees when he steps out into it. Virgo male feels he just doesn't really fit into it anywhere.

His idealistic view is what ends up causing him to be constantly disillusioned. When your expectations are high and unrealistic, you set yourself up for a fall and disappointment. The end result is emotions and feelings that set in, such as resentment, anger and frustration.

Everywhere Virgo man looks, all he sees are things that need fixed. The sign of Virgo is one of "service." And many a Virgo male can project this quality of service onto his mate. All those rude things or subtle suggestions he's making to you - he views as a service to you. He's doing you a favor. He sees where improvements can be made.

The zodiac sign of Virgo is a somewhat quirky, confounding one, particularly with regards to Virgo males. Some have even likened him to the "Charlie Browns" of the world, "Whoa is me" as well as prone to obsessive compulsive disorders and hypochondria. Their need for cleanliness can border on obsessive and many a Virgo man is constantly crippled by the thought that something is wrong - they're not always sure what it is, but it's wrong no matter what.

Virgo Men Walk Through Life Carrying A Heavy Load

And most of it is in their minds eye, thus giving birth to the "Charlie Brown" theme of "whoa is me."

A famous Virgo male is Michael Jackson. Looking at his life and how he lived it, you can see that his intention was always to be of service to others, however, his personality came across as quirky in nature to say the least. Rather than projecting his Svengali like tendency onto a mate, he thrust this tendency inwards and onto himself via the constant reinvention and never ending plastic surgery he had performed - always seeing room for improvement in himself.

Virgo is a mutable (changeable) earth (stable) sign, thus the constant theme of struggle in his life - constantly changing while fighting to remain secure. Virgo man harbors a deep sense of self loathing to top it all off. Many times, a Virgo man can tend to be a platform for women. Meaning, a woman may spend some time with a Virgo man, he may help (service) her towards improvements and then when she's achieved her pinnacle - she leaves him for another man. Cuckholding is another theme Virgo male is very familiar with.

His constant strive for perfection in life, particularly in relationships, can totally work against him. Especially where sex is concerned. A Virgo male, when engaged in the act, is so focused on his performance rather than his partner, that he can blow the entire act and fail to complete it. In turn, he becomes somewhat of a self fulfilling prophecy of failure. Worrying about perfecting it causes him to blow it and the cycle repeats.

It doesn't help that he's prone to be grossed out by bodily functions during the process as well and many a Virgo man will request you to appear to him showered and clean shaven before he'll even consider taking the leap to perform. As a result, sex with a Virgo can feel more like a chore than a romantic escapade and you can find yourself calendaring in sex with him. "Monday and Thursdays, shower and be ready."

Virgo Man Can Be Cool As A Cucumber In Relationships

He tends to keep his mate at arms length, leaving her feeling as if she never really did get to know this chap completely because he never let her in. And indeed, he does always keep a part of himself - to himself. Being with one for any amount of time, yo soon realize he's gone missing in action on you, either physically or emotionally, as he just seems "unavailable" to a degree.

But alas, when a Virgo man does decide he can live with you as you are and he gives in to his feelings of overall "lack," his sexuality can indeed burn hot. And being service oriented, when he's reached this level, he can be very empathetic to those less fortunate and very helpful in nature which, in turn, can be a real boon to the woman in his life if she's on the receiving end of this.

Virgo male is an Earth sign and, as a result, he can always appeal to you as a safe harbor of sorts. Even though his mind may not be stable, his lifestyle surely will be. Everything will have a place and be in that place and he will run his home like a well oiled machine, with all of his standards of living being up to par. Many a Virgo man leads a nice, clean, comfy existence for all intents and purposes. Flying by the seat of their pants, unafraid of where they're going to land is more a Sagittarius man's style than a Virgo mans. In the Virgo man's world, order and preparation is the name of the game.

I dated a Virgo male who wouldn't go to the grocery store unless a list was created first. He used up so many tablets and Post It notes, constantly jotting down notes, making lists and leaving letters with instructions each day that I had to buy them in bulk just to keep up. Something always had to be done (serviced, perfected) each day or it felt like a waste of a day to him. That was a long time ago and last year, I was cleaning and donating goods and I came across several of those notebooks. I sat down, thumbing through them, and I couldn't believe how much fussing was going on there, looking back on it. It was like the man couldn't shut his brain off and I must admit, when it was over with him, I was relieved. No more nitpicking, no more heckling, no more instructions, no more demands . . it was liberating.

The Chameleon Like Theme That Runs Through A Virgo Man's Life

You may be reading this and thinking to yourself, "Wow, my Virgo guy is a slob and is nothing like this." That wouldn't surprise me, remember, he's a chameleon, ladies, and very likely, you will encounter a Virgo male along that way who is the complete opposite of the organized, militant, demanding character depicted here.

If you come across this type, chances are he hasn't worked himself out yet and he is still wrestling and fighting all of his natural compulsions and, as a result, is leading a life that is completely opposite the one he truly is drawn to. And when you encounter this type, you may find him to be even more unbearable than the type referenced above because this inner conflict is always tearing at him subconsciously.

In a sense, with a Virgo man, you never know who you're going to get. You have to stick around and observe to really find out. A progressed Virgo male who has come to grips with this inner turmoil of his can be a real joy to partner with actually. Trouble is, it can take Virgo male a lifetime to come to grips with himself and his inner battles. Either way, Virgo male won't achieve his true success until later in life when he realizes his role and value as a provider of "service" to others.

It is then, and only then, that he will free himself - from himself - to fly free and succeed.

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Zodiac Signs said...

According to my opinion,

Sagittarius (November 22nd - December 21st)Optimistic, expansive, social, adventurous. Clown, fire eater, juggler, comedian, jockey, racecar driver, Sponge Bob, Dora the Explorer, Indiana Jones. Any over-the-top gruesome mask and fake blood for fun.

Maria Rocelyn

Unknown said...

Yep, thats my boyfriend in a nutshell. The clean freak & mind battles with himself. Short tempered but I understand, in his head, he is on a mission.

SuperCoolNinja said...

My uncle is a Virgo and you're right haha! My mum too

Anonymous said...

I have to disagree completely with this one ... I have dated 2 virgos, married to one and have a virgo brother and son ... very wrong apart from the cleanliness part

soulsoprano said...

Virgo woman was seeing a Virgo man for 18 months prior to my current relationship. Some of this post I really had to digest, but then when I got to the chameleon part, it all began to make perfect sense. I do remember the lists, etc. lol And the clutter. He had kept every possession that belonged to both his father and his mother, who died several years apart. It was cluttered, but everything was attached to a memory. It was as if he didn't have those tangible objects connected to the memory, then the memory wouldn't remain either. Sad.

Anonymous said...

Wow, you sound like you dated my ex-virgo. You are very on point.I think they are the "crazies" of the zodiac. The sad part is they're always looking for perfection and they are so imperfect themselves

Anonymous said...

As much as I agree with the chameleon view, this sounds like a negative half ass version of what a Virgo has to offer, fueled by bitterness. If all virgo males are such rude cynical perfectionists assholes then why would you date one (oops I forgot they're stable). What you wrote has a ton of truth but its like reading an incomplete math problem. Even the attempted positive virgo paragraph sounded bitter. 1 + (blank) = 2. Something's missing. Even though you went into detail about that first 1. Where's the other half of the equation.

The Mirror of Aphrodite said...

Thanks for stopping by and sharing your thoughts. To answer your question, the other half of the equation . . . is on 7 million other blogs across the net.

If you want the peaches n' cream version, surf the net. You'll find loads and loads of those profiles out there.

That's not what I do here or what I chose to focus on when it comes to astrology. Why? Because EVERYONE else and their brother has already covered that side - to death - on the net.

Call me bitter, call me whatever you like, take personal jabs at me - whatever makes you feel better. But this is my blog and I chose to differentiate myself here by exploring the darker side.

And P.S. bud . . NOTHING, and I repeat NOTHING, in astrology applies to every single living human being that falls under that sign. So to assume that the topics I've chosen to focus on here in this profile and this particular bit of exploration applies to every single male Virgo on the planet is just straight up naive.

Oh lemme guess . . you're a Virgo, and you saw yourself here - and I've obviously struck a nerve.

Sorry about that.

Surf the net and read some of those thousands upon thousands of peaches n' cream profiles out there that all say the same thing and you'll feel much better in no time ;-)

And why is it that when men read anything that doesn't sing their praises that's written by a woman - that stupid blanket statement comes up . . "You must be bitter" LOL.

You know, it is possible to play devil's advocate in a mature manner without bitterness dude. I'm looking at the other half here, the dark side, so naturally that's not going to come off positive in nature.

But why the hell do men always have to attack a woman whose exploring those issues with the "bitter" statement?

It's so boring, predictable and old. You misunderstand me and quite frankly . . . you're coming off like a rude, cynical, perfectionist Virgo, LOL.

"This is like an incomplete math problem. Where's the other half of the equation?" - PERFECTIONIST

"This sounds like a negative half ass version." - RUDE

"Then why would you date one (oops I forgot they're stable)" - CYNICAL

Thanks for shedding some light on the matter, Clif, LOL ;-)

Anonymous said...

I am a Virgo and the most un-tidy person. Clothes everywhere to start with. My Capricorn, Cancer and Gemini buddies are way more clean and tidy in their house than me. My body? That's perfectly very clean, more than them. My home, no, it's a mess. This tidy thing I don't get.

The Mirror of Aphrodite said...

The tidy/cleanliness factor relates to the perfectionist tendencies of the sign.

While that perfectionist quality can be displayed in many different ways, many times, it's displayed via obsessive type behavior, like those of extreme cleanliness.

Either of the body, home, environment or even inner being sometimes (spiritual).

Anonymous said...

Ahh... Virgo guys. Why are they so irresistible? Even their cynical behaviour..LOL.
Dated a Virgo once. I am a Libra. The relationship was a disaster. He wasn't happy EVER and I left after a while.
He would try to *perfect* me. I would shout. He would sulk. I would yeild to his demands, failing most of the times, resulting in some more of his sulking. I would try and try...to make him see reason..until one day I just...left.
I wanted to remain friends after that but he just WOULDN'T. Nothing I would do would change his mind.
But I have to say...of all the a***oles, err, read guys, that I ever dated, this one was unique. He wouldn't lie. Wouldn't cheat. He was honest. A fact that even this day, I love about him and which is what makes me think fondly of him.
Ahh, the Virgo male. A lovely creature, speaking from my own experience. ;)

Anonymous said...

I loved my rude, cynical, perfectionist virgo though...and can't help but I love him even today. So does he, I know that. Just couldn't stay with him. Too difficult for me. ;)
~ Libra female

Anonymous said...

this is really discouraging reading this as a Virgo male. Especially that it can last a lifetime to conquer this "inner conflict". What is good about this typical Virgo male being described? They can service people? And even then they can still be selfish? and he's not an asshole? but they're never happy... no other sign in the zodiac has such a bleak future perscribed by people who write these articles (whoever they are and however well studied they are in astrology)

The Mirror of Aphrodite said...

@Anonymous Virgo Male,
"What is good about this typical Virgo male being described?"

What is good is that, deep down, they have a big heart. (Hence, the service concept.)

"And even then they can still be selfish?"

It's not necessarily selfishness, it's a focus on "perfection." But the intention is pure (Again, a big heart deep down.)

"And he's not an asshole?"

To some who misunderstand Virgo male, sure he can appear to be. But that's only because he's misunderstood. Again, his intentions are pure once you understand them.

"But they're never happy."

They can experience happiness just as well as anyone else. It's just that with all the pressure they place upon themselves and their focus on perfection, they tend to live in their head a bit more than others and beat themselves up and, as a result, bring themselves down often.

"No other sign in the zodiac has such a bleak future."

This isn't prophecy here. This isn't a prediction for Virgo males future, it's an exploration of where his head may be - in the here and now, providing an understanding of him. It's simply an astrological insight that explores where a Virgo males head can be at times, so that he may be better understood and so that he may realize that the key to his happiness lies within himself - in his service to others. Helping others makes Virgo male feel he fits in, is acknowledge by others and appreciated for his skills. All the things Virgo male secretly seeks are right within his grasp.

We all have the dark and light within us. And at different times of our life, we will display our darker tendencies until which time we progress (evolve) as individuals and begin to display our light (higher qualities). To be flawed is to be human. And we're all only human.

The Virgo males gift is that of service - not servitude (slavery) but service (willingly helping). I understand that that may not sound like much to you, however, it's huge.

The message here for Virgo Male is - helping others makes you feel good. It's the key to your happiness. You could say it's what makes Virgo male "tick."

And those who help others are a blessing to this world. Their value and worth are priceless.

So when a Virgo male finds himself stuck in a "slump," all he need do is reach out to others and begin helping them in small ways and he will soon find he feels recognized and acknowledged by others which ultimately leads to his happiness and success.

He will then feel as if he has finally found his place in this world. Something he is good at, recognized and appreciated for - all of the things Virgo male can spend a lifetime seeking, he then finds.

Anonymous said...

I looked up the definition of svengali.

- A person who, with evil intent, tries to persuade another to do what is desired.
- A person who controls another's mind, usually with sinister intentions

Do you think Virgo's are the worst sign for this? More sinister than Aries men and scorpio men?

Perhaps they are more so than an Aries....but surely not a Scorpio?

The Mirror of Aphrodite said...

Well, I don't think a Virgo's intent is evil or sinister necessarily. I don't think their intent to to hurt people. I think the sinister portion comes in from how they go about it. They can become critical, rude and hurtful towards others. A Virgo man can have a really sharp edge to him that cuts others.

And it's different from Aries or Scorpio in that, Aries is such a warrior with a fighting spirit that most times, they don't realize they're offending others. And Scorpio stings, however, there's a method to a Scorpio's madness in that, they realize their sting can only hurt those with something to hide, those behaving nefariously. Scorpio won't necessarily treat everyone like that - only the one's they fell are attempting to get over on them in some way. It's how they take back control but their will isn't necessarily to control someone else.

And Aries, even though they are controlling of others, do so simply because they don't know any better in many ways. They're so primal in nature they don't realize what they're doing half the time while they're bumbling around, causing chaos for personal entertainment. And because they tend to think it's fun, they erroneously believe everyone involved is rather enjoying themselves, LOL.

Virgo a tad darker in that, they knowingly connive and manipulate others - via berating them, inflicting verbal insults and becoming very cynical. They know that if they make you feel bad about yourself, this will have an effect on you, and hopefully, it'll be one that will benefit them.

Not all Virgos will display this tendency in a dark way though. Some will be much more savvy about it and a little less ignorant. But each will have their reasons.

Anonymous said...

"Virgo a tad darker in that, they knowingly connive and manipulate others - via berating them, inflicting verbal insults and becoming very cynical. They know that if they make you feel bad about yourself, this will have an effect on you, and hopefully, it'll be one that will benefit them."

Yes, as a Virgo, I have absolutely manipulated several loved ones for my own gain, even though it also may have benefitted the other person, there was a self motivation behind it too. It was out of love, but self motivation is not the right way to go about love (e.g. manipulation and persuasion). Something I'm ashamed of now and have changed about my personality, to let the light in, instead of the dark. I've fixed that part of my personality now.

Virgo's are very popular socially, many are great at a party because they are quirky, sociable, polite, funny, suave. But inside, they have turmoil going on with themselves if left alone too long (negativity). Then again, I think other signs may have that to deal with too if left alone too long.

Anonymous said...

I see the Taurus, Aries and Sagittarius pictures of the men are sexy and manly, but this Virgo guy you've got is not, he has his head in his hands! Come on, put something sexier up! Even a man with a hot body and a graduation hat on and specs! Virgo men aren't this bad! LOL

The Mirror of Aphrodite said...

@Anonymous Jan. 3, 5:15PM,
Thank you very much for sharing that and for taking a hard look at yourself in the mirror.

It is true that even though their actions may stem from love, their behavior to receive that love may come across in strange, almost self-defeating ways.

And yes, Virgos can be great fun. I was engaged to one for 7 years and dated another for 2 years. However, in the long run, those relationships took their toll on me. That's not to say I wouldn't necessarily date on again. But the next time around, I'd go in "eyes wide open" is all.

And other signs will suffer from loneliness. That's a human condition, not a zodiac sign condition. But with Virgo and all of the existing inner turmoil that tends to already be there, there "dark" periods can tend to be very dark, indeed.

The Mirror of Aphrodite said...

@Anonymous Jan. 3, 5:17PM,
LOL! Awe, now don't get me wrong here. Virgo men, most definitely, can be hot and sexy.

But you see, in those other articles you referenced, those images were strategically chosen to portray the "energy" of the sign. Aries is a fired up romantic warrior, Sagittarius are dreamers that shoot their arrows at faraway, lofty targets - and the Taurus piece discussed the Taurus "darkside" (i.e. cheating and creating a harem of women on the side), which is why that photo was chosen.

With this Virgo piece, I wanted to explore the little-known, less talked about aspect to their personality that I feel is absolutely necessary to form a complete understanding of them, because they tend to be so misunderstood by many.

As a result, that led down the "inner turmoil" road - and the image depicted here is to convey that "energy" of the sign.

Virgos are indeed sexy and not all of them are necessarily "blue" either. But many of them take a long time to realize their value and shine their light. And I felt that image was the best representation of how they suffer this inner turmoil and beat themselves up is all.

My apologies, LOL. Maybe I'll search soon for another "sexy Earth boy" image to include within the piece.

Hmm, a hot man-bod covered in mud comes to mind, LOL ;-)

Anonymous said...

"It is true that even though their actions may stem from love, their behavior to receive that love may come across in strange, almost self-defeating ways."

Oh yes! I have surely acted in self-defeating ways at the height of love when it was on a roll!

If Virgo's were just a little more charming or sweeter when asking for some affection and love, it'd be a lot simpler for them to receive it from a giving, loving partner - as what can happen with a Virgo, is they are seen as annoying asking to see more of someone, going on and on about it in a pointing the finger kind of way which makes the other person feel shite....rather than just saying, "Hey honey, I miss you, I'd love to see you again this weekend!" to which any loved one would response with love!

It's all about Virgo's learning not to be afraid to put their heart on their sleeve (being more vulnerable) and keeping it simple. That's the key. Because that kind of thing is very attractive to someone being in love with them, in a natural, non manipulative or persuasive way.

Anonymous said...

"Hmm, a hot man-bod covered in mud comes to mind, LOL
Sexy Earth boy"

Hell yeah! We are on fire in a deep, connecting, sensual way.

As a Virgo, I get many compliments about how 'intriguing' and enigmatic I am which allures potential partners towards me like a magnet. Modestly hooking them in (not deliberate manipulation, just being myself LOL) is no problem at all. It's after that the trouble starts LOL. But I'm working on it as I said! LOL.

The Mirror of Aphrodite said...

"What can happen with a Virgo, is they are seen as annoying asking to see more of someone, going on and on about it in a pointing the finger kind of way. . "

Yes and the insight to glean from that for Virgo is that by going about it in that manner, it actually places the individual they're critiquing and pointing the finger at in "defense" mode.

And defense is used in war against an opponent or an oncoming threat.

The end result is that Virgo is then seen as an "opponent" and "threat" to the other individual, which completely defeats (self-defeating) their intention of actually pulling the other individual closer to them.

"It's all about Virgo's learning not to be afraid to put their heart on their sleeve (being more vulnerable). . "

Very true. And I'd like to add that they can sweeten the pot even further by offering assistance to the other individual - tapping into their gift of "service" to others, helping others - rather than pushing them away by trying to hard and using tactics that can be seen by the other individual as force.

The Mirror of Aphrodite said...

@Anonymous Jan. 3, 5:43PM,
Well now that you've mentioned it and we've ventured into this territory, I might add for the female readers here that Virgo men, indeed, do have a white hot sensuality about them.

And this, again, is a glean towards their "service" oriented side.

Get what I'm throwing down here, ladies, LOL? You will never meet a man more concerned about pleasing a woman as a lover than a Virgo man. Many will openly admit that they have even gone so far as to read up about how to please a woman - a glean towards their "perfectionist" tendency - in an effort to educate themselves about perfecting the act.

It's hard to tap into that white hot fire with a Virgo man, but once you're in, you're in.

Anonymous said...

"And defense is used in war against an opponent or an oncoming threat.
The end result is that Virgo is then seen as an "opponent" and "threat" to the other individual, which completely defeats (self-defeating) their intention of actually pulling the other individual closer to them."

I'm very ashamed of what I have done regarding that as I confused my love and lost them, in part, as a result. But as a Virgo or just my background as a human (not sure which, perhaps a mix of both), I did not realise I was doing it in a bad way, I was doing it innocently almost as I did not realise how to do it properly to get the right result. It was by reading and taking a look deeply within myself/the mirror, that I realised how unattractive and self-defeating it was.

I got this lesson from analysing and learning about myself, after a lesson on it from a more heart on your sleeve Aries and a Taurus.

Anonymous said...

"It's hard to tap into that white hot fire with a Virgo man, but once you're in, you're in."

As a Virgo, I couldn't have put it better myself! We have a very high libido but only once you're really in!

Anonymous said...


May I know more about virgo males? Like how do they cope up after a breakup and is it still negotiable to have them back? I'm a Sagittarius woman btw. And I've been a no contact rule running for almost a month. We broke 3 months ago and he has never initiated to talk to me or even check how I was.. I want to know if he's decision of breaking up with me is final, coming from a virgo male. Your article is very much like him, he's so insecure to himself that's why he was attracted to me, a complete opposite of who he is. He broke up with me because of our on-off fights and differences that made him get tired of it. Although when he broke up with me, he kissed me and said that he still loves me. I'm his first girlfriend and we ran about 9 months of our relationship. It's just 3 months since we broke up and I've been in a no contact rule that is going about a month already... And I've also heard comments from friends that he didn't like what I did after the breakup- I started to smoke, just a part of my coping mechanism, if that info counts.

May I know your input on this?...

-Female Sag

Anonymous said...

Would you also make an article of stages of dumper/dumpee after the breakup? Thank you!

The Mirror of Aphrodite said...

Excellent article idea - it's on my list!

The Mirror of Aphrodite said...

@Female Sag,
"And I've also heard comments from friends that he didn't like what I did after the breakup- I started to smoke."

Well, he doesn't like that because it ruins his "pure" image of you, he has no control over you regarding it and it gives him something to be cynical about.

"Like how do they cope up after a breakup and is it still negotiable to have them back?"

Actually, Virgo is one of the signs that will stick around a long time, attempting to make things work. Truthfully, the last thing they want to do is breakup, generally.

But I've seen them come back once the frost has melted off their icy exterior after the breakup. If he's being cynical towards your smoking though, that's not a good sign that he's ready yet. Why? Because he's "finding fault" with you. And he's probably using that to keep any feelings towards you squashed for right now.

I'm not a Virgo male, I'm a Taurus female. But I dated a Virgo male for 7 years, we were engaged and then I spent two years in a relationship with another one. The second one was much more "Virgoan" in his rudeness and cynical tendencies, which made it very hard to love him. But the first one was really an Earth boy of sorts. His Virgo traits showed themselves, but just in different ways is all.

And both of them came back after I broke up with them. As a matter of fact, the Earth boy one that I was engaged to - that was 20 years ago. And you know what? I still hear from him, LOL. He's got two kids now with another woman and I won't get involved with him, I'm not a homewrecker. However, we have a great friendship and lots of affection for one another. Being with him was some of the worst and some of the best years of my life. I wouldn't trade those experiences for the world, regardless of how it all turned out.

So no, not all hope is lost. I think he needs more time is all. Virgos are a tad turmoiled deep inside to begin with and when you throw a breakup into the mix, it heightens this for quite some time.

But in time, that will subside. And when it does, he'll be able to overlook many of the things that happened between you two - and he'll be able to remember the girl he loved.

I'd hang back and wait him out a bit longer. If you approach while he's still "finding fault" with you - it'll backfire.

Anonymous said...

i love my Virgo man :D

Anonymous said...

Thank you for considering my request article topic! :)

May I know how long did your Virgo exes took time before they realize they wanted a second chance of relationship with them? As I've observed with my Virgo, he's kinda slow at things or shall I say, isn't as assertive like other guys with how he feels. When he broke up with me, it was totally unexpected. He just exploded and to my surprise didn't know that it was at that degree of pain he was feeling from our relationship. From your reply to my previous comment, you said that there is still hope... this is our first breakup and if there is a beam of light, maybe may I know how long do these Virgos melt the ice? We're on our last year of college and I wanna somehow get a scale of how long should I wait down there because really.. it's kinda hurting already- or am I just being an impatient Sag girl.

- Female Sag

The Mirror of Aphrodite said...

@Female Sag,
One was two weeks later and the other that I was engaged to, about two or three months later - and then again, 15 years later ;-)

Anonymous said...


Did you take any of the two Virgo's back? Did they come back as they wanted you back as a relationship on their knees or were they just checking in, as men do LOL, to check you're OK and you're spilling your eyes out tear wise over them?

Anonymous said...

Oh I see. :-) Does it even matter who was the dumpee/dumper? I mean, who should make an initiative given a situation that virgo male dumped the girl?

By the way, you're really helping me. thank you so much!

-Female Sag

The Mirror of Aphrodite said...

@Anonymous Jan. 6, 6:19PM,
The one that resurfaced two weeks later, I think he was checking in. But it was in a way that . . he was testing to see if he could get his feet back in the door. And when he got an icy reception, he knew the answer was no.

He didn't get in the door, LOL.

The other, that I was engaged to, he came back in an obvious, wanting a relationship again, type of way.

Which didn't happen.

I had my reasons for both of those decisions. And to be honest, walking away from the one I was engaged to was one of the top 3 hardest things I've ever had to do in my life. But his lifestyle . . we were growing apart. And I could tell that a future with him wouldn't be bright.

Years later, I think he was looking for some companionship on the side (he's been with the same woman for 15 years now and they have two children, not married), which I wasn't down for. But we're honestly great friends and I truly do love that man. I'm not in love with him, but we have great affection for one another that runs pretty deep.

I imagine that if there was ever a time I'd like to pick up where we left off, he'd accommodate me, LOL.

The Mirror of Aphrodite said...

@Female Sag,
Yea, that comes into play. But when it's the man who dumped the woman - the woman should NEVER pick up that phone and initiate contact.

The only time it MIGHT be acceptable for a woman to do something like that would be if she, out and out, did something that she had some apologizing to do for.

In that case, then I think it would be acceptable to touch base - but only to apologize. Not to begin pursuing a relationship with him all over again.

Anonymous said...

Hey @Mirror,

Was your 2 week Virgo man back the dumpee or dumper?
Was your ex fiance the dumpee or dumper? (God, I hate these titles we use!!!)

Just helps put it into context regarding man returning but don't feel you have to say if it's personal :-)

The Mirror of Aphrodite said...

I broke up with both of them. . .

Anonymous said...


Then if you broke up with both, it's way more likely that the man would come back to you.

What dates were their birthdays out of interest? I ask as I'm a Virgo too.

I have a book that shows the Virgo's personality broken down into four weeks - have you heard of this book? the book of Relationships?

It's amazing because as a Virgo (or any other sign), when you break it week by week, to another week, it's way more accurate than just the sign.

If you haven't got the book and give me your day and month, and the two virgo's day and month, I can tell you what it says you're best for if you like, just out of interest for you.

Like, my week doesn't work with some Aries or Aquarious weeks, but other Aries and Aquarious weeks, it says marriage and love is what we're best suited for. It's a great book :-)

The Mirror of Aphrodite said...

You know, I may have that one. I have so many it's hard to remember, LOL. But if it's the one I'm thinking of, it's a big purple book?

I'll have to take a peek at that because when I read it a few years back, I remember the weekly break down and it being very interesting.

Anonymous said...

Mine isn't purple....it's orange (but I'm not in North America like you are)...so yours may be purple...it's very heavy in weight. Well worth a read.

Anonymous said...

Hello everyone. I am sitting here in turmoil confused over my virgo man, stupidly searching the internet for answers... part of me asks is there anything in this theory of star sign traits, then I read things about my own star sign (leo) and think- yep thats me in a nutshell.
My Virgo and I are 5 months new, and he has been absent more than here since the start due to work, as a new couple we survived that absence really well, and it amazed me I survived it as I am not used to long periods of absence in a partner. During that absence he told me he loved me (Which I read is quite a thing for a virgo??) and when he returned we had missed each other like crazy. Now after the festive period he has returned home and seems to have emotionally dissapeared too, the random hugs and certain things hed say to me along with them. However, he made a huge financial gesture over Xmas to help me out and got me something I really needed (I dont want to put too much in case anyone I know reads this! lol And I cant see that someone would do that if they were suddenly disinterested. I have asked whats wrong and he made reference to work, so I asked its not me then? And he said no.
A friend of mine has thought that maybe its that distance he needs again to feel that high of seeing me again.
Prior to being with me he was single for a few years, so I am suspecting used to his own company and work. I asked if it has been odd being in our company these past couple of weeks and he said no, it was good.
I know as a Leo my trait is the need for reassurance, he gave me that when he was away- its like there will be odd times when he totally pours it all out and then it just dissapears back inside him again.
Whereas I would describe myself as consistant, loving all the time, and Ill tell you that I love you- maybe too often but its just how I am!
So Im sitting here with all my insecurities building up, afraid to ring him and bother him with them, sending the odd text and waiting hours on end for a 3 word emotionless reply.
I am trying to stand back, and not send my usual hello text for the morning- but thats not me, I dont do the ignoring thing or want to play games.
Virgos..... talk to me please.... is this run off and hide thing you? Is this huge display of emotion then nothing thing you? If I tell him Im worrying I know that will probobaly annoy him yes??

The Mirror of Aphrodite said...

I think you're projecting your insecurities onto him and creating pressure and I think that you're also expecting him to provide you with your happiness to an extent. When he shouldn't BE your happiness, he should only ADD to it.

If you survived absences well for the first 5 months, then why all of a sudden is your behavior changing? Why, all of a sudden, is that not okay?

See where I'm going with this? It could be YOUR behavior that's changing here (causing him to distance himself) and NOT HIS.

"So Im sitting here with all my insecurities building up, afraid to ring him and bother him with them, sending the odd text and waiting hours on end for a 3 word emotionless reply.
I am trying to stand back, and not send my usual hello text for the morning- but thats not me, I dont do the ignoring thing or want to play games."

Why are you initiating conversation? Because sweetie, the only way to gauge a man's interest and know if he likes you is to see if he pursues you. When you constantly "touch base" with a man to remind him that you exist, it amounts to attempting to "convince" them to continue dating you. Men view that as needy, insecure and desperate.

The way a man's natural intimacy cycle tends to work is this: He submerges himself in you, then comes up for air. The he submerges himself in you, then comes up for air.

If a guy gets the impression that a woman is going to attempt to dominate his time in the long run and project her needs onto him - and turn the relationship from fun into work - he will leave.

I'm getting the impression he may be feeling the heat of a pressure cooker:

"I have asked whats wrong and he made reference to work, so I asked its not me then? And he said no."

"I asked if it has been odd being in our company these past couple of weeks and he said no, it was good."

"sending the odd text and waiting hours on end for a 3 word emotionless reply."

"send my usual hello text for the morning"

You're acting on fear and insecurity and he's sensing it. I wrote this in an article here:

"You are driving the car (relationship) and you are now effectively letting fear and insecurity steer the wheel. Now the car (relationship) is veering wildly out of control at a high speed, his passenger door is open and he’s bailing out onto the highway - leaving you to your own demise."

You also wrote, "describe myself as consistent, loving all the time." That's not how men are, honey. They don't want the constant gestures and talk and emotions. It's overwhelming to them and it feels like work, not fun, to them. Their cycles are submerge and then come up for air . . submerge and then come up for air.

Men and women are simply not the same creatures and I honestly don't know any man in the world who can keep up with a woman's expectations of attention and affection, LOL. They're simply not built for it so you have to expect that at some point in a relationship, things will level off and shift into a new gear - cruise speed, not full throttle :-)

Unknown said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
skyler said...

Hi there,

I am a Virgo man and I read many astrologers tell us how we are, and I always feel like wow they are missing something about me. Untill I read a book by Linda Goodman and I truly came to grips with myself. Then I read other books and I was like WOW now that explains me. Virgo is a mutable sign like Sag, Pisces and Gemini. With that Virgo men have two sides the virgin and the whore. Some days I want to pursue perfection ( the virgin) then on most days I want to live in chaos (the whore). I read on all these blogs and everyone wants to say how nit picky we can be how we keep list and other crap. I couldn't keep a list if I tried. I am very impulsive, I like my women dirty Haha its true. I couldn't save money if I tried, but for some reason unlike what you said I don't feel like I need to change.Because trying to be perfect is a losing battle mama. I really don't feel like I need to be of service to people haha. When astrologers explain what the Virgo duality side the whore comes out that's when I feel more at home. I have usually been the guy that women leave their man for, but I guess fire signs get all of the attention when it comes to that. I love passion and romance and it comes naturally to me, but it says that we don't like that IDK can you help me or explain the Virgo's duality?

The Mirror of Aphrodite said...

Hey there Virgo male, nice to see you here :-)

Well, everyone is different, there is not doubt about that. And I think folks go through phases in life where at times, they exhibit their light (positive qualities) and other times, they exhibit their dark (negative qualities).

And being a Virgo that feels more of a connection with the "whore" side, LOL, I'd tend to think you either have some Fire elsewhere in your chart (Leo or Sag) and possibly even some Scorpio (the Zodiac's "kink" master ;-)

But honestly, it's nice to see a Virgo that's right at home with himself. One that's accepted himself for who he is. Because there can be an inner struggle with men of this sign which is where the duality comes into play. It's like a constant inner struggle.

And it's not necessarily that Virgo men don't like passion and romance, it's just that they tend to be very analytical and sometimes, that gets buried in them - until someone comes along and taps into their white hot fire, which Virgo men do possess. Many of whom can be fantastic lovers (if they don't get caught up in their heads over perfecting the act).

If you're into interesting reads about your sign, check out the book, "Sextrology: The Astrology of Sex and the Sexes." It contains a 40+ page description of the Virgo male and it's a combination of astrology and psychology - what some have coined astropsychology.

And it's very interesting, indeed :-)

Anonymous said...

Yeah I know what you mean Virgo man.

Mirror, do male fire signs always get all the attention out of the zodiac and it's easier for them to attract a mate? My firesign ex had so many women after him but at the time he was totally devoted to me.

The Mirror of Aphrodite said...

Well, the Fire sign thing - it's the excitement and the ballsy approach that gets women. It's primal. It's like beauty and the beast. The Fire signs make grandiose claims and at first, appear rather confident, which is attractive upon first glance.

But then what happens is, they become exhausting, LOL. They become flighty and they dance around you like a fool until your head spins.

To me, Fire signs represent "a good time" if you get my drift. But their not exactly the most stable men in the zodiac, emotionally or otherwise, and after time spent with one, that soon becomes clear to a woman. It's one adventure after another after another, which becomes exhausting and the woman soon realizes, these men aren't quick to settle down necessarily. And lots of times, the one's they do settle down with have an equal love of a chaotic lifestyle as well.

Lots of the Fire sign men I know are involved with women who enjoy the drama, arguments, fighting and bickering just as much as he does.

It's easier for the Fire signs to attract attention from women because they're generally louder, more exaggerated, cocky, arrogant and bolder than most of the other signs. So they stand out for those reasons and women look at them and say, "Hmm, you look like you'd be fun."

So they tend to go along for the ride. But it ends up being a roller coaster event that tires many and frankly, Fire signs start off quick and burn hot - but fizzle out just as quick and then they're off to their next adventure.

Anonymous said...

I may buy that book: "Sextrology: The Astrology of Sex and the Sexes" - hadn't heard of that.

Thanks for the information about Fire signs Lady Mirror :)

May sound odd, but I feel my destiny is to marry a fire sign man, but I need to ensure with the next one I am with, I keep his coals burning away as embers as a gentle pace so that it doesn't go out, and just chuck alcohol on it now and again to give it that big spark. Because they really are a hell of a lot of fun. Sorry Virgo men for writing about fire sign men on your page! Don't be down, Mirror says your 'white hot!' lol.

Peter said...

@ Anonymous January 10,2013 5-45PM

Don't worry about it lol...but after reading some other conversations about virgo guys on here I think they need to get a grip :-) can't have us Virgo men getting a bad reputation haha.

I already told MOA how I think this post is spot n for me as a Virgo. However it took a bit of guessing when I asked her to guess my sign(she knows a bit about me as I'm open to her in our emails), but still Virgo it is. I will use what I have and see what I can develop it into as a Virgo male :-)

Anonymous said...


I find the August Virgo's (loud) very different to the early September Virgo's, and the Virgo's near the end, very different again :-)

Not sure where you sit or what date you were born...

Peter said...


I am an early september virgo born on the 6th, if that has an influence I would love to know. I'm new to this so still learning about it all.

Anonymous said...


You are born the same day as me! No wonder I saw some similarities on what you said!

Anonymous said...


What is this lady who you love/lust after's month and day of birth? I might be able to shed some light given I'm the same day!

Peter said...

@Anonymous Jan 15,2013, 9:49 PM

Thats strange lol....I wonder what the odds are for that happening :-)

Peter said...

@Anonymous Jan 15,2013 9:49 PM

I have no idea of the exact day but I think she is an early June Gemini.

Anonymous said...

HI I Am A Virgo Man and in in one of your description of us Virgos. My mouth dropped open you described a trait of mine that I was not aware that it was part of our sign and I thank you for that as I have wrestled with why I am this way now I can explain this to my wife and best friend.

Anonymous said...

Hi. Im a Pisces woman dating a Virgo male and its one of the hardest things i have ever done. My guy has a good heart, but all of the things you spoke about in this article, including the insidious nature or his 'nitpicking' and 'pointing out all of your imperfections" are alive and kicking, in our relationship. He is trying to remake me and at times I resent it. I am aware of this and used to feel really annoyed by it but I have since realized, that while his motives may not be 100% altruistic, a lot of what he says is TRUE, and I have benefitted greatly, by following his suggestions and his advice. He is definitely the 'of service' type, and I do appreciate and respect that part of him. But the flip side to all of that is the DOMINEERING, CONTROLLING and somewhat OPPRESSIVE energy I often feel around him. His demands for physical perfection, his constant critiquing of everything from my eating habits to my priorities in life; The constant reminding that things could be done 'better' and 'this is whats wrong with the world. People are too (blah, blah blah) and not enough (blah, blah, blah)”. Couple all of this with the fact that he is an ALPHA male (times 10) and you get one seriously 'heavy' dude. Most folks are put off by him and it affects his ability to build proper relationships, not just romantically, but in his business and professional life. I try to make him understand that folks can READ that disapproving, 'holier then thou' thing RIGHT off of him, and it prevents them from wanting to help or aid him in any way- including in buisness. And while I think he understands it intellectually, he cant seem to wrap his mind around it, emotionally. His ineptitude in relating emotionally to other human beings, causes alot of problems for him - and us. And his standard answer to this reality, is ‘he is who he is’. So I have to sit back, and watch him struggle, both professionally and personally, becuz of it.

As a Pisces, I realize his attraction to me, IS because i AM emotional and sensitive, and he secretly craves that. But at the same time, his compulsion to remain in control, compels him to always try to stifle that part of me, and it gets exhausting.

Con’d below…

Anonymous said...

Con'd from up above...

And I have to say...all of this translates into the bedroom. Sex with him is TERRIBLE. Its robotic and mechanical. He lacks ANY form of sensuality and spirituality in his lovemaking. His proclivities border on the perverse, despite his VERY conservative, prim and proper outter demeanor and identity. Its like, hes TWO different people. On the outside, all about propriety, proticol and modesty. But behind closed doors, hes almost - sadistic. He has never been violent or abusive sexually, but i can sense a bit of something, almost sinister, just beneath the surface. He seems to get off on humiliation (of me), sex in places where you might be discovered (and therefore, uncomfortable to me), and a dominating, almost sadistic quality. He wants to have sex anywhere BUT the bedroom. Doing anything BUT sharing on an intimate level. Its all about the ‘thrill’ (and by extension, humiliation) of me, by placing me in the most uncomfortable situations and still expecting me to ‘perform’ like I like it. When I try to create ambiance (candles, soft music, sexy atmosphere) he immediately wants to turn on the lights, move awy from the bed, and do some awkward and often NOT SATISFYING thing, that in no way, shape or form, do I find sexy, pleasing or erotic. And im no prude. I can get freaky with the best of them. But Im just not the ‘freaky for freaky’s sake’ type of chic. I get lose, if you INSPIRE me to.

And I receive absolutely NO inspiration. NONE.

And there is NO attempts at pleasing me. Its all about ME, 'performing' for him, to keep him revved up enough, to engage. I wont lie and say there have NEVER been any tender moments. But i have found, that the more INTIMACY i try to create during sex, the less comfortable - and thus able to perform, he is. he seems to NEED that cold, disconnected environment, in order to be aroused. There is NO FORPLAY. No kissing (unless I initiate) and no sensuality. Just rough, mechanical actions that leave room for NO romance, fantasy or sensuality.

I can sense this 'inner conflict' that you spoke of, around his sexuality, along with everything else in his life. He has compartmentalized himself soo much, that his behaviors are EXTREMES- one side being a controlled, conservative, thinker, and the other a wanton, perverse dominator.

Anonymous said...

Con’d from above…

I know the picture I am painting is not pretty, but please believe, my Virgo, in his heart, is a GOOD GUY. I wouldnt be with him, if he werent. But like was said, each person has a light and dark side and his dark side, is REALLY dark - is almost unbareable, for my delicate Piscean nature. But its not just me. EVERY woman he has been with, has eventually left him. And after being with him off and on for several years, I can see why.

I see SOOOO much potential in my guy, and i know i have helped him soften, express emotion and recognize the need for balance between his cerebral and emotional selves. But its hard because as much as he wants to critique and criticize, he cannot stand anyone to point out any of HIS flaws. So while his ‘influence’ on me has been heavy, my ‘influence’ on him, has been VERY slow going. After several years, I just got him to the point where he will initate SOME signs of affection towards me – but ONLY in private. Which is why its so strange to me, that someone who is SO restrained, restricted, conservative and proper in public, turns into an almost perverse, pornstar behind closed doors. Its strange – and to be honest, a bit repulsive.

Im feeling a bit down about it all. The lack of emotional expression and sensuality, coupled with not being pleased sexually, gets to me. And the inability, to convey to him how im feeling, with out that TOO, being critiqued, deconstructed and somehow, thrown back at me, is draining.

What does a Pisces girl, who loves her Virgo Dude do, when he is SUCH a difficult person, to be with. I want to love him - and be IN love, but his personality and temperament, prevent the latter. Im not some young girl, looking to live a Fairy Tale. But i do crave passion, affection, sensuality and trust.

I trust this man with my LIFE.

But not with my Feelings.

Whats a girl to do?

The Mirror of Aphrodite said...

I think you need to focus on your own happiness here. He can be the greatest guy on the planet or the biggest jerk...bottom line is, he can't make you happy.

Doesn't mean there's anything wrong with him...or you. Simply means this wasn't meant to be.

You need to find someone that will make you happy - and so does he. Don't waste time trying to pound a square peg into a round hole. If it isn't a fit...it just isn't a fit.

Anonymous said...

Pisces girl,

I read your story and you have a beautiful way of expressing yourself with an abundance of words.

I'm sorry to hear that you're going through an emotionally starved relationship. You sound amazing. There is another guy out there who is soft and kind and intimate, wondering where you are.

I hope you have the courage to leave this Virgo man, and find a man who your soul desires and gets satisfied from.

I have had a lot of boyfriends, and none of them ever made me feel the way this guy is making you feel. It's not normal. He sounds like an Internet porn star addict too.

You only have one life, it's short, go make your dreams come true honey.

A virgo

Peter said...

@Pisces Girl from a Virgo Man

The negatives you pointed out in him are things I suspect only HE can learn in himself to deal with. I feel your choice is as MOA says and you should put yourself first. You should also do that knowing as you have said that have helped him many times. You have done all you could and that is all anyone including yourself can ever ask. You have given him yourself, your feelings and love so at this point you should feel no bad feeling in walking away. Its just as simple as he is the wrong guy for you. Will it always be that way? I suspect he will make a good friend for you and may even in time with his own development make a better lover. However if it is to happen then as a man with inner conflict I can tell you it has to happen to him on his own.

You sound like an amazing woman, I could only hope I had a woman in my life as determined as you are. As dedicated and focused. With all the feeling and emotion you seem to come accross with.I think now is your time to move forward? As the other Virgo lady who commented said here go and get your dream.


Anonymous said...

I am a libra female (and libra in rising) who met a virgo man on zoosk about three months ago. Unfortunately I don't know what is his rising sign but he is born on September the 2nd. He lives in the States and I live in Denmark, which is the reason that we haven't met in real life yet. However, he is coming to see me in the end of February. I have a really hard time trying to figure him out. After writing each other on fb for a month, we started texting instead. We text each other every day. We have spoke on the phone 5 times. Except for one time, he is the one calling me. He is not exactly flirting but he gives me a lot of compliments and sending me long messages. And all of a sudden he turnes cold for several days. Sometimes more than a week. Then he turns back again and starts complimenting me and calls me. I am very confused and frustrated. I have no clue if he likes me or not. This behavior is just going on and on. He is constantly turning from hot to cold to hot. It is really driving me crazy. What should a girl do....

The Mirror of Aphrodite said...

Begin mirroring his behavior:


Anonymous said...

Sounds like you had a bad experience with a Virgo partner and this essay is just an attempt to work off some anger.

Your description of Virgos was indeed very detailed. That said, you described yourself very well here too. We know from this article that you are unattractive, unintelligent, easily controlled, easily offended, and willing to take a cheap shot at all men because of your bad experience.

My advice - switch teams.

The Mirror of Aphrodite said...

It's a shame that prior to leaving your hate filled comment, you failed to read the comments here from Virgo men that did indeed relate to many of the issues discussed in this post:

"Yes, as a Virgo, I have absolutely manipulated several loved ones for my own gain, even though it also may have benefited the other person, there was a self motivation behind it too. It was out of love, but self motivation is not the right way to go about love (e.g. manipulation and persuasion). Something I'm ashamed of now and have changed about my personality, to let the light in, instead of the dark. I've fixed that part of my personality now."

"Oh yes! I have surely acted in self-defeating ways at the height of love when it was on a roll!"

"I'm very ashamed of what I have done regarding that as I confused my love and lost them, in part, as a result. But as a Virgo or just my background as a human (not sure which, perhaps a mix of both), I did not realise I was doing it in a bad way, I was doing it innocently almost as I did not realise how to do it properly to get the right result. It was by reading and taking a look deeply within myself/the mirror, that I realised how unattractive and self-defeating it was."

And if you want to take a pot shot at judging me, you're going to have to do much better than taking the usual, predictable bitter, unattractive, unintelligent and "should just become a lesibian" route.

And if you truly knew any thing about me - you'd know that "easily controlled" and "easily offended" are NOT phrases that ANY man I've ever dated would use when referring to me, LOL.

Thanks for coming here and sharing your inner angst with us ;-)

Peter said...


As MOA says thanks you for leaving your "inner angst" on here but I think that says more about you.I have nothing to add towards you because you present yourself so well for us to see here ;-)

I can tell you as a Virgo male MOA has me pinned down with this post and I'm big enough to admit that.

Having said that what don't do is leave comments like yours. Especially not to a lady I have a lot of respect for. Any person with a half a mind can see qualities coming through in her work here that go against everything you judge her to be. Personally I can't speak highly enough of her for giving her time and help to me. I find her to be intelligent and very stimulating in her insight. You may also want to read comments of other people here and see the good that the work of this particular lady is doing for a great many other ladies.

If you have a point against this or any other post present without insulting her ;-)

AnonWoman said...

Hi Peter,

I think Mirror is keeping the comments in here fair. If she just got fan mail, it'd be a bit bias in what she puts up. It would also not help everyone look in the mirror. No by putting that (dodgy) post up, I just thought it was democratic of Mirror, as opposed to communist.

So good for her posting that comment. All her fans and readers who have spent time looking at her blog, know that she is top drawer, experienced and a good counsel.

I saw it, and thought the same as you, that this person had issues herself. Perhaps that person also hasn't spent days reading Mirror's advice. Also, you can't keep everyone happy! Not one single person in the world is liked by every other single person in the world.

Mirror is not a journalist or maybe she is but she certainly kinda is in my eyes), well a good journalist fights off criticism and when they are good at their job they can do it with style and ease, as Mirror has demonstrated.

Good media / a good journalist also puts down both sides of the story. Otherwise it'd be an advert.

I don't think it's a major issue in a very few select cases. In fact, should I post this even as I don't wanna start a debate as it's a waste of time talking about it, isn't it as we all think Mirror's advice is top drawer!!!

AnonWoman said...


Although good to see you step up to the mark and protect the women when required! Good lad! ;-)

The Mirror of Aphrodite said...

Yes, our dear Peter is a gentlemen, ladies. He's an example to hold all other men up to :-)

Anonymous said...

so youre saying at the end that when virgos learn to be slaves will be fine? lol i dont think so lady, being that is for me accepting my death, and no way, so fck off

virgo man

The Mirror of Aphrodite said...

@Virgo Man,
Why is it that 90% of the men that comment here are rude, verbally abusive, emotionally immature man boys that lack proper, respectful communication and debate skills?

You know, I'd have taken you much more seriously had you not verbally assaulted me. I'd have decided to respond and carry a debate and discussion with you.

But frankly, it's not worth it when the emotional and mental capacity of his communication skills amounts to that of a 7 year old throwing a tantrum.

You have a nice day sir. Come back when you learn to respectfully debate your points as a mature adult.

The Mirror of Aphrodite said...

All that the majority of you Virgo men that comment here do is...prove the points in this article to be dead on accurate...rude, cynical and offensive in nature.

It's hilarious, LOL.

(Except for one or two and you know who you are ;-)

Peter said...

@Virgo Man,

Do the ladies here a big service by removing yourself from them and actually don't come back at all :-)

I don't care what point you make you don't make it like that to any lady let alone THIS one. You engage her respectfully or you don't engage her at all.

As she said thank you for proving this and other points made on this blog right :-)

Anonymous said...

This is a bunch of shit. I am a Virgo and quite NICE!

Anonymous said...

Hello MOA!

First of all I just wanted to say that you blog gives a lot of insight and I'm thankful for all your wisdom and advice. But like all the ladies here I have a situation with a Virgo man (aug 30th) . I'm an Aries. He and I started dating two months ago and know each other for years but when we met we had somebody. We broke up with our relationships like 6mo ago, mine lasted 2 years And something but I got over my ex way before I broke up with him. He lasted 5 years. He started pursuing me since December last year and once I said yes to first date he was in constant communication and trying to see me almost everyday but because of my work schedule it wasn't that easy ( also I was playing hard to catch). He was a gentleman, inviting to lunch, movies, dinners etc.
It was only until our 5th date when he finally grabbed my hand. And he was very sweet about it. The 8th until we finally kissed. The 9th until I finally slept together and he was very sweet. The problem is on the 10th we went for dinner and the we stayed in again. He has invited me to dinners when he goes out with friends but that night he had dinner with friends too but he didn't invite me (Thursday). He said see you Friday, he was going to play that Friday in a local bar, of course I was invited and I assumed I was on the guest list. Well didnt hear from him Thursday night, but it's ok sometimes he does it. Friday morning I get his classic gm text but we exchanged a couple of text and that was it. That afternoon I checked his fb and he was tagged in a pic. With many friends but with my surprised his ex was there too...they were seating apart from each other but I still felt like a fool! I got mad but didn't say anything. Since then things have changed. He communicates me that he only had two names on the list and both of his brothers were coming. I was like "ic". He sent me another text saying that he can reimburse me if I wanted to go still. I said yes I would go but my intentions were of not going but have him waiting for me. The night went on and never got a text from him asking were I was. So next morning I texted him that I was there with my friends but could say hi cause we had trouble getting in. He doesn't text me after that and we had plans for Sunday. I don't hear anything from him all Saturday until Sunday at 4 saying he won't be able to go out with me that night. He is making me feel terrible now, I dunno what to think or do. I let it go but on Monday I sent him a msg saying I didn't hear from him and hope everything was well. He replied saying he would call me and he did later on. Just to say that he got stuck doing some family stuff and didnt go anywhere. At this point I feel like nothing is the same and I'm so confused by his behavior. He sent me this morning his gm text and again a couple more and he is gone! He is not asking me when can he see me again like he was before. You advice would be so helpful, cause right now I honestly don't know what to do or think. Is it the ex factor? Is he being just a guy and now pulling back after he got what he wanted? Also, if your advice is going with the no contact, how can you pull something like that? its difficult when we have each others facebook??
Thank you so much in advance and I'm really looking forward to you response!
Much love Aries

The Mirror of Aphrodite said...

@Anonymous Mar 5, 7:50 PM,
"Also, if your advice is going with the no contact, how can you pull something like that?"

You just do it dear. Turnabout is fair play. And that phrase means, "It is fair to make one suffer what one has caused others to suffer."

Facebook doesn't matter. It's no contact, no response. Period. Make him think about how he's treated you and see if he misses you. That's how you gauge a man's interest level - you pull back and wait to see if he pursues you. And when a man is exhibiting that he's undecided, you pull back to protect yourself as well.

So for the next couple of weeks, do nothing. Don't reach out to him and see how long it takes him to reach out to you. He will think about you and you need to give him the space right now to do that. He may be confused and he may have mixed feelings right now. Pressuring him will do nothing but push him further away.

Give him space and time to think. I think that's all he needs right now. And don't expect a reappearance overnight. It may be several weeks before he reaches any conclusion. Men process their feelings differently from women and you need to remain calm, stand strong and pull back and let him do that :-)

Anonymous said...

Thank you so so much for your prompt response, I really appreciate that you take some of your time to answer us, you are awesome!
I'm following your advice, but now I dunno what to do. Right after I apply the NC, he send me a text after one day of no response, I ignored him, then next day same thing I once again ignored him. The third day he erases his fb profile, but only for a day! Then he comes back and in his status just said he needed sheer quiet. I don't know if that was something to do with me, but again I'm not responding. Ten he doesn't try to contact me for the following 5 days. Today I get this text from him: I'm not sure if you'll reply to this text but I hope to talk or see you another day.
I know you said 2 weeks of doing nothing , so it has been just one week...what should I do? Please advice me one more time! ( also we had plans to go on a weekend getaway this coming weekend, but now I already made plans with my gfs...)
Much much love,

Anonymous said...

Here is my update:
I waited two days to reply his msg, and I replied something like " meaning to get back at you, but been so busy, lets get together sometime soon" so he replied: " oh wow I thought you got that upset at me. The day is so warm and nice. " (WTH?!?)
I didn't know what to reply to that, so know he thinks everything is good and dandy? Did I reply to soon or did I reply the wrong thing? Today he sent me another saying that all week is going to be nice, I agreed and once again I think I'm at square one? Yes I don't understand and I need help...I'm not good at this!

The Mirror of Aphrodite said...

Yep, it's too soon. You have to decide if you're going to mirror his behavior, as you've done here, or if you're going to use no contact (generally 30 days of no contact, no response). Or you can decide to attempt two weeks or another time frame depending on your situation.

In either event, when no contact is used, it means no contact, no reply...for whatever time frame is chosen.

The man needs to be forced to experience an "end" in order to be compelled to change his behavior. And when a woman responds to a mans first attempt at contact, it's not and end...it's simply a break.

I'd suggest several weeks of no contact, no response. Read the article on this site about the benefits of no contact and the psychological effect it taps into that's here's on the site.

This was too soon and he thinks everything is fine it appears.

Anonymous said...

Whatever you write. Still virgos are the best. Never cheat, never lie, honest and misunderstood often most of the time.
Hurray for the virgos!

Anonymous said...

I have been dating this virgo for a few months,,, i am an aquarius i think he is over all wonderful. With that being said everyone has their faults i have started to see the good and bad but in my oppinion i want to see it all i want to know it all... i do think he is over critical of himself and because of this has strong views towards people he likes or cares about. He is very clean i like that alot tho... He didnt like going out but is starting to change because i do. I believe i can so far live with his imperfections.He does change how he acts around friends which bothers me because i act the same around others but maybe its just because he not exactly comfortable with the display of his feelings while others are around... I got a plan for that tho... i think if you go with the flow with a virgo unless its too much for you then it will work out.....

Anonymous said...

Most of what you said is true. The biase of the article is a bit unnerving though. I can understand your rights to your own free opinion but it does paint a rather dark image of a Virgo and this coming from an Aquarius girl.

Anonymous said...

ha! the cuckold/hypochondriac that is spot on for the Virgo Man I was involved with....He had the nerve to tell me I love and respect you but I don't trust you. The only people I trust are me , my kids and the money in my pocket....I am still feel to sting on my face where this guy verbally back handed me.

Anonymous said...

Damn. This doesn't exactly bump up my self-esteem (being a Virgo and all). Sadly, a lot of it is true, though not so much around relationships, since at 42 I've yet to find a girlfriend—despite more than adequate looks and intelligence. The question at this point in life is how to tame my downer traits.

Very penetrating article, one of the best I've read on my sign. Thanks for the look in the mirror (difficult though it was).

Anonymous said...

I am Virgo woman get dumped by Virgo man ....I am using no contact rule hoping he may get back not for relationship no no but I want him to beg me than I will dump him back ...he was,rude , insecure be put me in silent treatment to many times ...

Anonymous said...

I'm a Virgo male born September 9 and I've been told I can be cold at times and also come off condescending at times. I honestly don't do these things intentionally but it seems as if some who don't quite know me well...think I do. I am always ready to be of service and help anyone but at the same time I can be self centered and trapped inside my own head. I beat myself up more than anyone else ever could. I only hate criticism from people who are close to me. I could care less what someone I don't know thinks about me. I will criticize others at times but its coming with the best of intentions. I don't think I'm perfect, nor do I want to be but striving to be the best you can possibly be shouldn't be looked at as an issue. I'm very creative and I would consider myself highly intelligent. I'm not the most romantic person on the planet but ask my Scorpio girlfriend is there is someone more dedicated or someone who loves her more than me. I recognize and realized all of my faults and I constantly try to work on making them better. The bottled up emotions, easily irritated, cold demeanor at times, strange unexpected anger, condescending and holier than thou behavior. I have other wonderful things about me that makes me a complete perfectly imperfect human being. I'm sensitive, compassionate, loyal, trustworthy, dependable and a very caring friend who will listen when you need an ear. I love being a Virgo and I wouldn't want to be anything else.

The Mirror of Aphrodite said...

@Anonymous Male Virgo,
Good for you and very well said - thank you for sharing openly here with others :-)

Anonymous said...

Wow! Glad to have stumbled upon this! It's fascinating to read all of these opinions and observations...

I'm a capricorn woman (12/24/86), and have been casually dating a Virgo man (8/29/83) for the past five months. Having spent the past eight years with two sagittarius men, I definitely have some thoughts on Virgo...

Firstly, I've had to be more patient with this man than any man I've ever been interested in. When we realized we were attracted to each other and started exploring each others sexual tastes via Facebook messenger lol (why is sexting so easy on the internet?), my reaction was "hot. He's so kinky. Ravage me now. Tomorrow. This weekend. Anytime." His reaction to our passion was to go about methodically fixing things in his life... Like procuring better employment, a better living situation, getting himself tested for stds, going on long runs and lifting weights. I patiently waited through much extensive self improvement on his part, before he'd even dare to fondle me.... Much less ravage me. Thankfully we've moved beyond abstinence and deprivation by this point... However I've also had to be incredibly patient with the rate at which he is willing to expose himself emotionally. He's extremely hesitant to compliment me or show me that he likes me (which is a pointless battle, the ruse is up, I know he's into me lol), and he seems to enjoy testing me... Messing with my mind, seeing how I'll react to his rudeness, being cold, as if he'll prove to the world (himself) that he really is in control, and of course his fondness for me does not effect him in the slightest. ;) this is all very silly to me. I'm more inclined to love freely and enjoy the time I'm given. For the moment, he's lucky I'm patient and tolerant, and smart enough to realize that he's being cowardly with his heart rather than the douchebag he can sometimes come across as.

I really like this guy... He makes me laugh. He tries to protect me and make sure I'm ok. He'll help my friends move and do most of the work himself. I love his ethics. I love the way he thinks. And we've got chemistry for miles. I've got patience for him yet.

But when he behaves poorly.... ?

I sense complaining to him might only make him less interested in doing what I want and more interested in doing whatever he pleases, regardless of how it affects me, because he shan't have me stepping in the way of his freedom and whatnot. Frankly, I'm a bit like that too. Complainers bore me and do not compel me to respond to their needs, but rather to my own need.... To get the eff away. My instinct is that when he behaves badly- with cold rudeness, or what have you, some variation of snobbery- I should probably just leave politely, and distance myself... End communication for a time. Let him miss me and find the motivation to be kind to me. I can be honest in a succint and gentle way, but he is so phobic of emotional conversations, even the most playful honesty can put him on the defensive. He DOES listen though, and will soon adjust his actions to show me he's heard my feelings..... But he's action oriented, and he'd rather not discuss.

What do you think? What's the best way to deal with a Virgo man when he's being rude, or just a grumpy little butthole? I feel like I should express my emotions through actions and leave his space, and perhaps give him some silence. I also don't want to offend him or make him feel I don't care about him. I do care about him... But am not about to let him kill my mood with rudeness, or waste my breath asking him to be nice... It seems like a bit of a power game to me. Like a child throwing a loud temper tantrum in a store to see how much control they exert over their mom? ;) what's the best way to navigate free of these power games and help him relax?

Thanks in advance for your thoughts!


The Mirror of Aphrodite said...

Talking to much and sharing too much and showing too much are basically pointless with most men (unless, of course, they're emotionally mature men) as many simply tune that out as background noise.

ACTIONS, not words - that's a man's language, Virgo or not, as he's clearly already shown you.

And when any man misbehaves (or women, friends, etc.), the best thing to do is pull back. Imagine a rubber band between two people, each having it around their waist. When one leans back, the other lurches forward. That's the concept to keep in mind - and if you do that - no words are necessary to be "heard" and you don't need to waste your breath on them.

So when he's not feeling social or he appears as if he needs space - give it to him. Pull back on that rubber band - and eventually - he'll lurch towards you.

Anonymous said...

Thank you... The rubber band analogy makes infinite sense. :)


Anonymous said...

Hi there, I'm a Virgo woman and dated Virgo man for 2 years. He broke off the relationship after I questioned him about his feeling toward me.it's been 2 months now sine that terrible day. He said he was confused but he didn't love me the way I loved him ..he said like a good friend. He was confused, I was his very first girlfriend who he ever took home. His pareants loved me...things got slow down when I moved to different company( we used to work at the same law firm and he aasked me out then ) Anyway, he promised to take me on holiday on the night we broke up and then his friends told him that's not good idea. Unroll now I still loved him so much and the pain is just like yesterday. I got angry at him for turning the plan down and sent an angry text. Then I realized it's not good so I sent him a cup with pic of his loved ones and a note saying sorry and hope he could rethink about the oversea trip. He didn't reply at all. I stopped talking and no contact him since then (a month now ) and he has not contacted me either ...I'm so hurt so said and wanted to disappear. I'm much better now but has always wished he could come back , and realise that he does love me. Please give me some advice of what to do to bring him back . Thanks in advance.

gimini girl said...

i date virgo guy 8 years all what u said is true,But I have To say he is one of the hardest person i ever seen, He is one of the se;f destroyed person I ever seen too, He is so controlling and he ovarated Things alot ,He is selfish most of time , he know what he wasnt and he will feel u he is with you coz he want something from u not less, U will never know what is going on on he's mind, He will cheat u and lie at U , But It's not cheating Its juts relashinship But If u talk with the guy It's end of the world !!! he will never share with u anuything and he will peretend everything is Oke But actually Its not , In a public he use to ignore me like he dnt know me and when i ask him why He will say and excuse,,, when ever I try to leave at Him he use to star sweet talk and he will become coolest guy ever !! and when i forgive him he will back over like he was !!!... he is not emotionally and sometime u will feel like u are with stone with heart !!...he can make u feel happy when he want and he cam make u feel like u are princess when wasnted !! like he have bottom of u to control u !!! You have to do everything he is telling u or ells It will be end of the world !!! Its hard to break up with him .!! I advive to all girls Up there don't ever date a virgo guy or I sweat to god u will destroye ur self !!! He is one of the worse guy u can ever seen ! he is not gonna show he's tru face untill u get love him!!

Anonymous said...

I became friends with a married Virgo man. After a couple of weeks of talking (and intense flirting) he admitted to being very unhappy in his marriage, not liking anything about himself or his life, and missed his ''freedom''. I told him that he was perfect in my eyes and relished all the things that I thought was great about him. That still didn't work, he sulked still. So being a Scorpio, I basically told him to change what he didn't like about his life or just learn to accept it. He slowly shut down after that and our communication lessened. He popped up in a text nearly a week later to ask how I was doing and to let me know that he was tired. Just tired. All I could do was reassure him that he would work it out. It's been days since I've heard from him. I miss our talks, but I feel a great weight lifted from my shoulders now that he has withdrawn. I really do wish him well.

Anonymous said...

I appreciate this blog...especially the amount of time the creator has put into her responses. I was looking for some info on dealing with the problematic side of being a Virgo. My moon is in Virgo. I am a Leo sun sign though. It seems that I have a hard time understanding my Virgo side though almost all of the classic traits seem to be their. Its a rather strange mix Leo Sun and the Virgo Moon. Its not completely synthesizable as I believe both signs are pretty noble and idealistic. They have that in common. My Leo Sun is in the 12th House which to me seems to make that part of me less accessible on a daily basis and kind of a behind-the-scenes semi-retired King watching over my/our life, only making Cameo appearances when truly important decisions are being made (or when especially attractive females are present lol) The true difference I believe is the self-acceptance factor between a Leo man and a Virgo man. My Leo side just is and is totally natural and comfortable with who he is and my Virgo side is very rarely if ever satisfied with himself, except when I am being of service and genuinely caring of others as you mentioned before. I think Leo is trying to teach Virgo how it is possible to keep improving yourself which I believe Leo appreciates about Virgo, but realize that we have all of eternity to perfect ourselves so dont get all down about it and learn to enjoy the process. Thats pretty good advice. Wow Im feeling pretty Schizophrenic right now, writing as if Im two people lol. I do feel like that a lot though. Leo has a lot of faith in life and Virgo struggles with that. Its not courage he lacks but faith. There is a difference. Patience in the your own process of purification and perfection is the key to Virgo's preoccupation with himself and lack of self-worth and having a true identity (which you mentioned before and really open my eyes to that part of me).

The Mirror of Aphrodite said...

@Anonymous August 28, 4:04PM,
I'm really happy to see how much value you found in the message. Many "Virgoans" who show up here, take a swing at me, LOL - but they miss the message, misinterpret it as entirely negative and then make childish accusations against me - as if I'm a Virgo hater or something.

The reality is, Taurus (me) is very compatible with Virgo and as a result, I've had my fair share of lengthy experiences with Virgos, lengthy relationships, and it's helped me to develop a greater understanding.

We all have our dark and our light, our good and bad, our positive and negative - as humans, none of us are immune to that. But it's the exploration of these contradictions within ourselves that actually propels our growth :-)

Anonymous said...

Thank you for this extensive explanation of the Virgo man. I started dating a very sweet and caring Virgo guy back in May of this year...his mom was dying when we met and he pulled away from me a month after she died in July. I miss him so much as we clicked from day one. I guess our paths crossed for me to support him through that time. His last text to me read:"You are my deep down inside... You are a beautiful woman with a lot of class... I'm hurting inside and need some time stay strong and brilliant you are it.....Let your sway show!!!" It is a long story with lots of highs and lows but I know he feels deeply for me, he is true to everything you have written here I just think I did not get to know his true Virgo essence because of the passing of his mom...Our last face to face conversation was hurtful as he told me he was okay by himself right now and he gave me my belongings back. His birthday was 3 days later and I just sent him an email which he responded to and I have be NC ever since. I am honoring his request for time and space because if we do ever reconnect I don't want there to be any resentment due to my pressuring him. He is Virgo 8/31, I am Gemini 6/4. He made me laugh like no one had ever done before.


The Mirror of Aphrodite said...

I'm not going to publish your comment, but if you'd like to take something that you read on the Internet PERSONALLY and direct some inner angst at me - I'm a Taurus female, and I'm very open about that here on the site.

So feel free to aim that critical eye at me and pick, pick, pick away my Virgo friend :-)

I am self-aware and I am able to acknowledge and accept that we all have the dark and the light and that as humans (not Gods), we are thus flawed. So in your upcoming critique of me (I hate to disappoint you) don't be surprised when/if I agree with you on many of the Taurus shortcomings that I'm sure you will excitedly bring to light.

I'm not afraid to look in the mirror - and when I do - I do not deny what is looking back at me.

As a result of that self-awareness, I can assure you that nothing you say will come as a shock to me nor will it have any ill affect on me as I am completely at peace and confident with who I am.

And who I am is human - both good and bad.

The Mirror of Aphrodite said...

One last thing my friend.

Before you accuse me of being some petty "Virgo hater" - I just thought you might like to know - that the man I'm currently involved with. . .

Yea. . .he's a Virgo, LOL.

And just to provide a bit of history, I dated a Virgo for 7 years, and another one for two years - and I am currently involved with a third one - after my 9 years worth of previous experiences with two others.


There goes your "she's had bad experiences with Virgo's and now she hates them all" retort.

Oops - right out the window it goes.

jitterbug said...


You seem to be the one with all the inner angst.

Nice try.

The Mirror of Aphrodite said...

I thought you'd like that.

Anonymous said...

Did a jitterbug get bored and decide to vent his frustrations at a site and a person who has selflessly helped so many???

Really? Go get a life! And go look in the mirror first.

jitterbug said...

Egocentricity is never selfless. Notice you didn't publish my observations...interesting.

Life is good. :)

The Mirror of Aphrodite said...

Okay if you insist, here's your original comment:

"Gee I'm i'm a Virgo and reading your analysis I should be really screwed up but I'm not. All signs have good & bad traits...yours included and I'm a Karmic Astrologer taking into account far more aspects than Sun -sign factors. Put you sign up and I'll pick the Shit out of you arsehole (must be my Scorpio rising)."

Peter said...

@ Jitterbug

I’ll refrain from lowering myself to your level, however I will provide you with some penetrating insight in your own behaviour in order to enrich your time here. As yourself are so obviously very secure in who you are..then you wont object to an outside look at yourself will you? 

In your first and opening comment you start by stating how screwed up you should be. A comment that would never be present unless you had some insecurity issues regarding your stability. Secure individuals don’t feel the need to defend themselves in the manner you have. The specific phrase “screwed up” in your text there because that is your issue. Your second comment referring to your perceived superiority over everyone else by attempting to indicate you have a more in depth knowledge of the subject area is called “compensating”. You’re angry because you see yourself as superior yet you could never have a produced such a deep insight into your own star sign, you need to show your superiority by going “one up”. A conclusion reinforced by your use of the phrase specifically “life is good”. Normally if people have insecurity issues manifesting in a need to fight to feel good I’d suggest they have that have looked at.

You then feel the need to threaten, intimidate and use abuse as a means of making yourself heard. In my many and varied experiences I have never found this to be productive as means to gaining respect, more so it is an indication of your lack security in your own position. Real experts don’t need to show superiority, nor do the present themselves in the manner you have. This is a strong indication of the depth at which you are threatened by the quality of the insight on this post. More so your comment is a very clear indication that you are indeed described accurately in this post but have chosen to be ashamed of those truths. As result you are angered by anything that forces you confront that inner working. As for Angst? I believe that title must be yours as we can’t all compress so much arrogance, insecurity and weakness into so few comments as you have.

Egocentricity can be something as simple as one person commenting on an internet site in order to gain attention and enjoy the one up feeling. I would have a step back and take a look at your behaviour here. As you said egocentric behaviour is never selfless and yours is a simple form of egocentric behaviour which you don’t think people notice. My advice is to take a look at yourself. This blog is the wrong place for your behaviour and I wont have this blog turned into that kind of place.

I suggest you don’t post or comment here if you have nothing constructive to say or insist on using an abusive or threatening manner to deliver it. Think carefully on your next words but better you don’t speak at all.

My advice to you? Silence as a man is far more useful than words in many ways, indeed silence used properly is a sign strength and security. You show far more than you think and you do all the work for us. You show yourself your failings. I don’t need to say anymore or rise to you but there will be no tolerance of your manner here towards these ladies

Anonymous said...

Very well said Peter! :)

Gemini50 said...

@ Jitterbug, how many lives have you lived without learning how to be nice? Maybe that's the lesson.

@ Peter, you are so sweet.
I hope all is going great for you.

Anonymous said...

virgo male, controlling, short tempered, sweet and generous at times

Anonymous said...

a virgo man said to me that he likes me and likes talking to me and wants to see where things go. he texts every 1-2 months. i'm losing my patience n just want to say f it and move on....is this normal virgo behavior? what's goin on in his head? annoyed.

Unknown said...

I read these types of posts too often. Everyone reading the origin of this post needs to understand its personal experience from ONE virgo. You also need to understand astrology is much more complex then just a star sign that so many rely on. If you have not looked into your own natal chart I highly recommend it. That being said I am a virgo man, virgos are confounding on many levels. To really understand a virgo's nature one has to simply observe. The reason not much is truly known about a virgo is because the virgo is a non stop evolution. Some develope sooner than others but the deep mental and physical huddles one must over come take time non the less. Most likely someone born a virgo has deep seeded karma dept that is associated with the sign. This is most likely why virgos are so unknown to their true tendincies, nature, crutches, and talents. A virgo life will always need seclusion and time only, this is simply to weigh and factor all possibilities. This is especially true if it's a mate they deem worthy for the long haul, don't take the necessary time away from a virgo to make such a serious decision, hence the dissaperence of the virgo in all forms. The reason he stays in contact over many years is because he truly did love or appreciate you and it becomes unresolved business. Virgos will always have very negative traits in the eyes of others, but don't dare judge until you walk in the shoes of another. Most people cannot comprehend the inner battle to its fullest, even the most adept astrologist can not say how the virgo deals with his own mind. All I want readers to understand is that virgos have the outer shell that can seem negative, but under the layers of protection built up by the virgo himself usually is one of the best creatures you will ever meet. Loyal, intelligent, energetic, and willing to experience life to its fullest. If the virgo is unable to come out of the turmoil then he is doomed to the negative traits of perfectionism. It may be tidiness (which can be physical, emotional, or even spiritual purity), pessimistic outlooks, and worst of all extreme discrimination. If your a virgo understand that your one hot price of ass and that your talents an virtues are needed in this world, break the boundaries that are simply your own illusions. If your interested in a virgo, simply buckle your seat belt and see what can happen (just make sure you understand patience is a virtue). I don't want to see anymore posts underlying the negative traits of a virgo to the extreme like this. They are nesessary to the evolution of a virgo, but to this extent it will only harm the virgo who already has so many underlying self consence issues. Please use the internet to educate rather than scare the general public of your past experiences.

Unknown said...

I am a Pisces girl, dunno my sun and moon. Born 3/13/89 at 3:13am. I'm crushing on a handsome hunky Virgo boy. Problems are I don't try to fall for men too much. My ex being an Aquarius (dunno how that happened) and he's younger than me. We work at the same store. He eats lunch with me if we happen to get breaks together. We make jokes about getting in each others way when stocking boxes. He also waits for me at the bus stop after 8pm when I get out late and kept me warm in the cold once. He's super sweet, always cleanly dressed after messy work (I can see the neat freak coming on) and the "be of service" as he wants to be a marine. He asks me for hugs when I see him and always watches me when I am working. There's only one problem. His best friend is an Aries. Who grew up together. It's us three, but I don't want to get between too childhood friends in the future.

I know dating the Virgo male depends on you birth sign and house, but is he looking to flirt with me? Should I keep being humble to his advances? Should I make the leap. I really find him attractive - how should this Pisces girl go about perusing a Virgo guy, and any advice for what she is getting into?

I will throw in a follow up in a few weeks.

Anonymous said...

Im a virgo woman 7/9/76 and last year I met a virgo male 9/9/75, this guy has run away and come back so many times, completely falls off the planet for sometimes weeks, sometimes months, then reappears, always saying how he has messed things up, wants to make it up to me blah blah blah.... stupid me falls for it.., an what do ya know instead of disappearing this time, he txt this morning after having left my house for work maybe 3 hours before saying it was all getting a bit much for him.... the thing is, the spark we have even tho its amazing, this guy has some serious issues, so frustrating

Anonymous said...

Just wanted to say thank you for this wonderful insight into the virgo male...I have been on and off with a virgo male for years....your article is very accurate... I also enjoyed reading your advice to others as I really feel it was very helpful to me in knowing how to deal with his personality...I really like how honest and straight forward your advice is....thank you :)

Anonymous said...

Hi Mirror - is it true that a virgo guy will never forgive or forget - basically absolutely no second chances once it's over? is there any exception or way around this?? how do i get back this virgo ex!! (I'm a capricorn sun, scorpio asc)

The Mirror of Aphrodite said...

@Anonymous January 22, 2:23AM,
I've had Virgos come back dear, so in my experience they do extend second chances, although probably not often. Unfortunately, you can't force someone to love you or want to be in a relationship dear. There's nothing that you can do or say that will make that happen - he has to WANT that to happen as well. Don't chase, don't call, don't text - it'll only push him further away. Stay silent and move forward with you life, start having fun and hanging out with friends, take up a hobby, begin exercising and stay busy - doing well and being happy is extremely attractive to men and when exes see that take place, many times, not always but many - they circle back :-)

Anonymous said...

Thank you Mirror for your response! I saw it immediately and have been pondering over it for awhile. Maybe if I can give you a little background, you can help me understand his mind, bc there is a bit more to it heree.. In 2008-2009 we were first loves, dated for over a year but then had a terrible ending - I broke up with him but regretted it much. That was four years ago - we didn't talk for two years after the ending. Then we slowly, slowllyyy started talking. He's been asking to see me in person for the past two years and I refuse to see him because he says he has no emotions attached and will often be very cynical. He is emotionally dead and cold, yet says he wants to just see me? I really don't understand.. BUT at the same time he also says that a part of him will always love me but that part can never be reopened and needs to stay in the past, that he is very proud for not reverting to the past and would never try something again that didn't work in the first place. Yet he insists on seeing each other in person? And he loves to talk about the past in specific, minute detail, yet says it needs to stay in the past? I am so very confused by all this. He has always had emotional constipation but I don't know here what is going on. Is his decision to never reopen our relationship a set in stone type of virgo thing, or is it a mask to his emotional constipation and cynicism?

The Mirror of Aphrodite said...

@Anonymous January 23, 11:05PM,
" Is his decision to never reopen our relationship a set in stone type of virgo thing, or is it a mask to his emotional constipation and cynicism? "

It's probably a self-defense mechanism dear, so that he doesn't get hurt again. And while that is understandable, I do not think that it's set in stone here for the simple fact that he's repeatedly expressed a desire to see you. He's talking out of both sides of his mouth right now to probably protect himself and mislead you a bit into thinking it's solidly over - but his ACTIONS tell the true tale. If he's contacting you and asking to see you - that says something dear :-)

GeminiTwin said...

Sooo my Virgo has come back after 3 months.....or so I think, we dated for 3 months and it was a fairytale, we were with each other almost every day, and the days we weren't together he was upset with me for not being with him. Admittedly I am a Gemini and I had some baggage that I was unaware of that surfaced during the relationship, I knew I didn't want to be with my X, but I did still have a lot of love and hurt over the way that situation ended, but all the while I LOVED my Virgo and communicated it to him, but he seemed to tune out the hurt and having to get closure and only focused on the fact that I still had love in my heart for this man.
The relationship turned cold rather quickly I was upset, he was distant, kept telling me I don't know what I want, and I said mean things like he is controlling and smothering (which I do believe, but I'm willing to accept it) and for 6 weeks he didn't see me, at the end of the 6 weeks he did see me for lunch and to give me a really nice Christmas gift, then he refused to see me again for 2 weeks.
Most recently we spent the entire weekend together and it was like nothing bad ever happened, he showed me the same love, care and attention, but once Monday came he was distant and thus far hasn't seen me all week (he does return my calls/texts, etc).
So I know I am in a state of confusion perhaps caused by my own insecurities (who has he been dating the last 3 months etc.?? Was this past weekend just a fling with me from whomever he's been dating???), I'm just wondering if any Virgo men can tell me if he is just taking things slow (which I completely understand) or if he is just playing games/getting revenge for when "I broke his heart".
Also I have been the one to ask him to see him, because before he always asked me and still makes a point to bring up the days I denied him (typical Virgo), so I figured I would go ahead and wear the shoes this time....but if he keeps denying me how long should I be the one to initiate???

Anonymous said...

Hi Mirror,

So glad I came across this post on Virgo's males. I wrote to you in one of your other articles regarding my Virgo friend and yes this describes him VERY well. As I was reading all I could say is YES that's so him. Hahahaha. The part of Virgo's being a chameleon definitely describes him to a tee. I remember saying this to a GF of mine, she knows him also. I told her it seems like he always changes who he is to compliment appeal to different women. At first I didn't know about the chameleon quality but yes this describes him well. She knows of two other women that he was also interested in and she agrees. He is a nice guy but seems as if he's trying to do too much to appeal to me or to make me take an interest in him as more than a friend. I only want to be friends with him, I have no interest in him romantically. He said he wants to work towards something, towards a goal. I'm like WHAT!!!! What goal there is no goal between us. I am beginning to distance myself from him a bit. I just feel like emotionally sometimes he is draining and I am an Aries woman and for me to say that it has to be too much. I am a very strong , assertive woman but I like a man that is just as strong as me and assertive so that I know I can lean on him and everything will be alright because I know he won't lead me astray. As strong as Aries women are we secretly like to be dominated, I like a man that gives me that security and stability.

Hey Mirror you should do a post on Capricorn men, I seem to be attracting lots of Cappy men lately. Hmmmm maybe its a balance thing, in terms of strengths and weaknesses. They are the old wise fathers of the zodiac and Aries are the children, go figure what one lacks the other provides. What do you think about Cap men? Any experiences with Cappies?


Anonymous said...

You wrote that a Virgo man will keep his partner at arms length. I am experiencing this and its very hard. I am a Pisces and a very sensitive feeling woman . . . he is not or atleast doesn't show it. He maintains he loves me and I am his girl and he thinks I am a keeper, but I am struggling here . . . he gets so moody and icy and don't want to talk or see me. I love him, but very frustrated! Advice please.

Anonymous said...

Part I

So MOA I am having an issue again with my Virgo male friend. I wrote on another forum of yours that he tends to get upset when I do not respond to his texts and gets all pissy like a girl. Fact of the matter is I do not owe him any explanation he is not my BF. Well we talked and decided hey let's move past this and be friends, so we email and text like friends do. Now its the same BS again he sent a text last Sunday afternoon, I was busy so I did not text him back that day at all. The next day I sent him an email at work saying " hey good morning, how are you doing? How was your weekend? He then gives me short worded answers. Hey, Good, Nothing much!!!! I sent you a text but I seems you didnt want to be bothered. I proceeded to tell him I was super busy this weekend ( tying up loose ends due to me vacationing soon). He does this all the time, so I asked him if something was bothering him. I knew what it was but I wanted him to come out and say it himself. He then sends me this email:


". I’m not upset that you don’t get back to me right away or the same day. I understand you may not free time to answer my text right then and there. It does bother me to be left hanging without an answer at all though like I never said/texted anything. I think I always try to say hey sorry, I was away from my phone or was riding to some place to let you know it’s not personal or I’m not disregarding you.. and then respond to whatever your last text was. You do a lot too and I appreciate that very much when you do. A little heads up goes along way. I only get upset when I feel like I’m being flipped off till it’s convenient. Even then that’s not the case when I feel like every things good between me and someone else… then these are little nothing things and never gain much traction. But I asked you if you wanted to do some things on the weekends to makes things good. When things get crazy for you, you clam up and kind of shut down… at that point I don’t know whether to put my hands up and take two steps back… walk away until you make contact first .. or jump in and try to help. I don’t feel like you trust me to help out.. so I do my own thing but I don’t know what you want from me…. I don’t feel like we’re on the same team so whenever I’m forced to walk away from anything, I don’t know if I am expected to come back so I treat it like I’m not...(maybe that last part is a personal issue with me from my upbringing—because I always go out of my way to make sure someone doesn’t feel forgotten.) .. but I’m trying not to do that with you and I get conflicted and maybe it comes off a teeny tiny bit passive aggressive in the meantime… maybe. Im not as complex as you’re thinking right now. If I feel like we’re a team then I put my fate in your hands… and will erase any doubts I have. If I feel like we’re not a team then I’ll always have doubts and criticisms about a person. It’s a code of honor really."

Between me being super stressed this week from work and now his Bullshit I saw red. He's speaking to me in the email like I'm his woman and he thinks he's my man. He is my friend and he knows that we have had this discussion and he even said to me I'd rather have you as my friend than not in my life at all. I dont have this problem with any of my other friends, male or female.

Anonymous said...

Part II

Saying part of a team. What TEAM? WE are not a couple, to me the whole email sounded like a couple going through a rough patch or couples therapy. Maybe I am being overly sensitive but he has officially pissed me off, and he agrees that he is behaving passive aggressively. He makes me feel like he agreed to be my friend only to try and convince me or pressure me to something more which I do not want and he knows. Why is he doing this? I told him its like beating a dead horse because he cant just be happy with my friendship but if he wants more and I don't then we just can't be friends. I don't feel an attraction to him in that way and its something you cant force. He seems to have done something like this before to my best friends cousin, she said he becomes obsessive about a woman and gets that way when she doesn't reciprocate all that he does. My best friend knows him also, we all used to work together. He makes me feel like I owe him something and I don't.

Mirror what do you think of what he said in the email and this whole situation?

-- Jennifer

The Mirror of Aphrodite said...

"If I feel like we’re a team then I put my fate in your hands"

He's expecting relationship treatment without committing to the relationship. He wants YOU to commit to HIM (and answer to him, reassure him, and behave as if you're a "team") yet he doesn't commit to a relationship with you.

You need to explain to him that "friends" aren't a team - a committed couple is a team - and he cannot expect relationship priority treatment when he won't commit to a relationship.

"If I feel like we’re not a team then I’ll always have doubts and criticisms about a person."

You need to explain to him that you're NOT a team - you're only friends.

"He's speaking to me in the email like I'm his woman and he thinks he's my man."


"Saying part of a team. What TEAM? WE are not a couple, to me the whole email sounded like a couple going through a rough patch or couples therapy."


"He makes me feel like he agreed to be my friend only to try and convince me or pressure me to something more which I do not want and he knows. Why is he doing this?"

Because he's very INSECURE and needs lots of reassurance as a result - "erase any doubts I have."

"Mirror what do you think of what he said in the email and this whole situation?"

I think he cannot accept the friendship and he looks at this as much more. If he cannot accept friendship only, then it's time to walk away :-(

Anonymous said...


Here me and my Virgo friend go round and round again. I tell him its like beating a dead horse because this happens every few months or so. So he wrote me another email to explain himself even further. I have so much running through my head. What do you make of this email? I mean am I going nuts or is he borderline fixated and obsessed about something happening between us. He is driving me nuts with his insecurity of wanting that reassurance that I MEAN something to him and to classify it. WTF!


But the thing is I don’t feel forgotten because I know what I mean to that person and they know what they mean to me and if they need me I’m there and vice a versa.” Exactly, I don’t know anything about what I mean to you or if you’d be there if I needed you. Honestly, if I was dying, I’d be expect you to say “need me how? What do you mean? In what sense?” (example: “Yes you are my friend but what kind of team are you referring to? “) Team of PEOPLE. Every friendship, family relationship, interaction you have with people is a team or not a team. I thought we’d be past the suspicion bit by now. But that’s never going away apparently. I’ll always be suspect to you (do you know how that feels?) and you’ll always be that woman that I trade emails with at work and have lunches with, text but then acts like she doesn’t want me to get “too close”. In the time we’ve known each other we’ve hung out outside of work once. So you’ll have to excuse me if there were times I’d question if we’d even be the “friends” we are now if we didn’t work at the same place. Though I can’t blame you for all the countless times I’ve tried to corner you and forcefully made advances or propositioned you. (Sarcasm).

I did whatever it was that I did in the most non-invasive way possible. I told you I’ve been walking this line ...because we were friends, I didn’t want to lose that... but as a guy had to show you every once in a while I was still interested. But the fact that we keep coming to this point… talking/joking/laughing more and more and more (that may mean nothing to you) …till the point where it stalls out (you get busy, tired, etc. .. and I wonder what happened because I get in the groove of it happening every day) and then we have one of these blow outs (this was #4, I think)… and then hash things out and it starts all over again and we build up to the all day every everyday thing happens faster than the last time… means it will only happen again as long as we think the way we think and don't change something.

I think I held my line pretty well so far and did my best in trying to be consistently considerate of you and respectful. Despite what you might think, the things I’ve done were not done to get anything from you or get you to like me. I never asked for anything in return other than progress, so we didn’t get stuck in a loop of trying to keep things at a certain level day after day and would know each other more. In fact I think I was fairly straight forward in telling you I was interested in the beginning. Maybe it’s not what you’re or other women are used to. Then again chasing a woman for sex, scheming and trying to get over on them or not really caring about who they are like most guys, is not something I’ll ever get used to being. I spent my whole life learning to not be that guy. Most people won’t understand it… I guess you can’t, really… until you live it… Only a nut would do things the hard way when there is an easy way. I do it for me… it tells me who I am… but maybe just maybe I’ll meet people throughout my life that need that. People that someone to keep their promises. Women that are tired of being lied to; have a man picking at their self esteem and tearing them down instead of building them up; or just listening so they don’t have to hide how they feel. Children that need a role model. People that need someone to be there when they say they will. I may not be perfect but to those people, I’ll never have to worry about explaining myself.

-- Jennifer

The Mirror of Aphrodite said...

"as a guy had to show you every once in a while I was still interested"

Not when the woman has already made it clear that she doesn't want a relationship or romantic interest - that's disrespectful of the boundaries you've made clear.

"I think I was fairly straight forward in telling you I was interested in the beginning"

And I think you were straight forward in telling him that you weren't interested in a romantic relationship.

Bottom line...this guy will NEVER be capable of ONLY being your friend because he's indicating to you that the only reason he's even doing that is because he thinks it'll lead to more. If you continue a friendship with him, then he'll continue his drama and persistence towards a romantic relationship.

You're going to have to sever the ties with him completely...or just get used to batting him away all the time. There are no other options unfortunately.

Anonymous said...

Hey MOA!
Scorpio girl here. Just met my virguy about a month ago. He has been the pursued since the beginning. Calling, texts throughout the day. Sweet, super intelligent, witty and makes me laugh like no other! I had to cancel our first date due to busy schedule but he still tries to see me. But im wondering. ..is it a virgo thing to walk along the beach/pier for a first date? He's coming across as cheap.
I dont mind it but just wanna know what im in for lol.
I can tell he really likes me. We text all day, phone, there's something here and I sensed it when we met. Sometimes I feel like I divulge too much as he asks ALOT of questions. MOA, I really like him too. But he's 41 never married and no kids! ( im the same) He's too damn good to be true. His words and wit have me really feeling him. Not too many men have matched my intelligence and then some. Im suspicious by nature so im scared. After reading this im extra scared. We have talked about marriage, kids etc. (Not necessarily together). Help! Im falling and this DOES NOT happen to me. I have a virgo ex that was sweet but to hypocritical of the physical
I know im all over the place but I need your opinion on a scorp-Virgo love match. Also, how often should I make contact? He generally always does but lately im slipping a bit with a text here or there. Im not sure what our communication etiquette should be.we speak everyday except for yesterday. He didn't call all day. Called me this morning and I havent called him back yet. What should I do? I want him to ALWAYS pursue me. This courting phase where im his "little lady" or "Princess" feels SOOOOOOO good. I dont want it to ever end! What are Virgo guys attracted to?
Any first date outfit ideas? J/k but not really though.
-Scorpio Gurl

Anonymous said...

Hello Mirror of Aphrodite,

I am a Leo woman. I met my Virgo guy after he was doing a mission trip where I live. After his mission, he wrote me a letter saying that he loved and cared for me. We texted after that for some time. Then our friendship just fell by the wayside. Forward 2 years later....he contacted me again and said that he was "lucky" to have seen my message so soon. We have been communicating through e-mails, chats, and texts. We've had some disagreements from time to time, and he has been critical of me, but some of it has been truthful. For the past month, we have been talking a lot, on one day for a total of 7 hours. He is a wonderful communicator and I enjoy spending time with him. He didn't contact me the other day, and I was wondering what happened, so I called him out on it and told him that I would give him the space he needed. He responded. I agree with the "submerge and then come up for air" reasoning you gave. I just needed the reassurance that everything was o.k. Now, I am happily involved in my own little projects. I try to keep things on the light side, trying to bring spontaneity and fun into the friendship to lighten the mood that I can sometimes feel is intense. I will admit that this friendship takes work, but as a Leo, I am loyal to a fault. I don't desert my friends, even when they do desert me. I know that he is loyal as well, honest, but sometimes I wonder what is simmering beneath the surface. I tell him that he can be upfront with me, but I think he tries to avoid conflict at all costs. He has made suggestions to me to make my life better, but I assess what works for ME, not for him. I compromise on the things that does work better and more efficiently, but if it is too much of a hassle, forget it! He calls me his friend, but just wondering if there is more to what he says? I've expressed my love to him, so he knows how I feel. Does this friendship sound hopeful, or is there something I am missing? Virgo men, I'd love to hear from you as well.

The Mirror of Aphrodite said...

@Anonymous Aug 28, 1:12 AM,
"Does this friendship sound hopeful, or is there something I am missing?"

Most of the times, hope exists...until ALL hope is lost. Regretfully, it's impossible to predict what will come of this. Only time will tell and relationships need lots of time to blossom. Give it a it more time...and then consider walking away. Don't invest months and months and months into it...unless you're truly okay remaining friends (because maybe that's all it'll ever be).

Anonymous said...

Hmmm this is kind of stupid, we are the perfect sign. No other can resemble us, you know we came to earth to show you all little brats how to have a well lived life, if you think it's criticizing then go get a damn gemini or something, who will cheat and backstab at you. If you got any good argument then go ahead, but diminishing a Virgo like this is quite offensive and actually cynical of you.

Anonymous said...

Hello Mirror of Aphrodite,

I met this Virgo on dating website, we had coffee first date followed by dinner with his friends. Second date he tried to get physical with me, he only aimed to please me and didn;t want me to please him.. he didnt go all the way. He wanted to save something for next date. Third date he took me to meet other friends and after that we went all the way.

Since then text has slowed down, I thought he would just hit and quit but he asked me out again for fourth date. He was again very service oriented and he told me he has always been monogamous. I told him I'm the same. I told him I like him a lot but still trying to get to know him. he said he won't push me into anything as I haven;t seen many side of him. I let him know it frightens me a little cos he made me do things out of my character such as sleepign with someone that early on.

We cuddle and talked a lot he revealed drugs he tried in the past / career plan / work politics / income details. It seems like he is open to me or at least trust me... 3 days has gone pass since I saw him and haven't received a text...

I have already stopped logging onto my dating account after he said he is monogamous. Is he serious about me? I never had a guy who took me to meet friends that early on. But the lack of contact makes me worry.

The Mirror of Aphrodite said...

@Anonymous May 4, 9:46 AM,
"Is he serious about me?"

Sounds like he's moving way too fast and when that happens, it's hard to take the situation seriously because it's moving more towards a "hook up" than a relationship when that happens. Relationships that last generally begin slowly. It's the hookups that move with lightening speed.

Either way, it's too soon to know if he's serious or not. Based on his behavior, I'd lean more towards thinking this is something casual here for him versus a relationship, but regardless, you have to spend a significant amount of time with someone to truly get to know them and their intentions - it's too soon to tell.

Unknown said...

Hi, I sort of had this office romance thing going on with my married Virgo boss. He was showing signs of interest on a daily basis, signs that lead me to believe that he was in love with me. His behavior towards me included: walking by my desk frequently to look at me, looking at me while talking to other associates (to the point it was obvious to the person he was conversing with, who would notice and would follow his glance to my direction), smiling at me constantlhy, holding his gazes for a lengthy period or time. I was his personal assistant, while another girl was his executive assistant, and he treated both of us very differently. For example, he would talk to me with a gentler tone of voice, while he spoke to her in a very professional even cold voice (I was told she was having performance issues). The stark difference in tone of voice he uses towards me and his other assistant came out very obviously one time as he spoke to me and her spontaneously, and his tone of voice changed immediately with me. When we meet, he always wants to meet in the conference room vs. his office, where we can sit closer together or side by side. He never has meetings with the other assistant in the conference room. One time, in his office, as he pulled his chair next to mine he positioned his face so close to mine I thought he was going to kiss me!. Before walking out the door when leaving for a meeting, he turns around to look at me. As I walk out the door when leaving his office, upon observing his reflection on the glass walls of his office, he's looking at me until I'm out the door (not at my ass, but my back -so it doesn't feel lustful or creepy to me). He smiles at me constantly. During the interview process, one of the admins informed me that he shuts the door to his office "all the time" with not exception. When I started working there, he kept his door open most of the time. All of this - on a daily basis.

Unknown said...

The whole office noticed and I have a strong feeling that at least one person complained either of sexual favoritism or that his behavior made her uncomfortable. After he had this meeting with HR (I have access to his calendar), his behavior towards me toned down, but not for long. He just can't seem to control himeself.

Here's what I'm confused about: one morning he called his wife and put her on speaker phone. Immediately after they hung up, he comes out of his office and says to me "Carolyn, are you ok? Are you ok, Carolyn?" with a really sad and worried look on his face. I smiled and nodded my head yes, a bit confused. Then the next morning he did it again - called his wife, put her on speaker phone, then ran out immediately to ask if I was ok. He looked sad that morning, yet he keeps showing affection even after that incident. shortly after the incident, as he was explaining a task for me to do, he did so with a very serious expression on his face and kept saying "we're going to do this, and then we're going to do that" as if he was talking about what's going to happen next. Very hard to explain.

A few weeks earlier, the Facilities Manager had a conversation with me during a company function where she asked me how I liked working for my boss so far. Then out of nowhere she says my boss "is not known to be a philanderer. His wife keeps him in line. You smile a lot. But you smile at everybody. He an assistant in the past, and I remember him telling me that he liked her because she smiled a lot." Then she went on to say "sometimes people come to me for HR issues. If there's anything you ever need to talk to me about, you can come to me." And this woman is buddy buddy with one of the girls who might have complained to HR about sexual favoritism. So I think people are talking or suspecting.

Thing is we never had any physical contact. Nothing. So I'm so confused. I don't know what's happening. I think he's in love with me, and I don't know what to do with it.

Please HELP!!

Anonymous said...

omg ive been researching virgo traits and came across this site...I am horrified and enlightened at the same time, even some giggles. ive been seeing this virgo man for awhile now....he is captivating, sweet, sexy, reliable. he has so many good qualities. but as we sit staring into each others eyes lovingly (maybe its just me lol) he asks me why my house isn't clean! I want to laugh and tell him to get on it, but I realize hes totally serious, so I try to give him legitimate reasons that he doesn't buy ha ha. as im getting to know him, im not really shocked anymore, but realize I must keep this amusement to myself.he judges my entire personality on things I do or don't do? he puts "labels" on me that are nowhere near the truth/except in his imagination. at first I looked at him like WHAT???? lol now I see this is just the way he is, PERFECT....and nothing I say or do will ever measure up to his expectations. in fact, I do know how to cook a sandwich lol although he wonders whats wrong with me that I don't. in fact, he has judged me so harshly he may never get that elusive sandwich lol I

Anonymous said...

part two:
I have supported him on many things in his life thus far, listened to his issues repeatedly without judgement....I care deeply about others, and he knows this. he also knows I understand/I "get it", that I will always be in his corner, but inside, I often find his criticizing and judgement amusing. I COULD stand for some improvement, of course! we all could, but I refuse to be controlled ie; put in the kitchen with an apron and scrub the floors until they shine like diamonds because HE likes it that way! I have treated him like gold, although he seems very narrow minded...I could do 20 things right, but he will only remember the one thing I did wrong! and it is the one thing I did wrong, in my eyes no big deal....that he dropped all contact with me. and what did I do wrong? displayed emotion, which im learning he cant handle. and I think this is because he is unable to deal with his own and/or causes unsettling feelings for him. hed rather run from me, and blame me, than face his own turmoil. and it scares him that I "know" what might be happening for him inside. he can definitely come across as holier than thou, but im pretty comfortable in my own skin. I know what my good points are, and know what I need to work on. one of my most major concerns is that I am very passionate, and im afraid to show emotion because it scares him. I am though, optimistic, because he does have a way of keeping things light, and has a great sense of humour...my passion could be channeled through this as well as his amazing ability to converse on many subjects. re-routed, so to speak. the real truth is, I am completely smitten with him in so many ways. hes not all bad, and has a very gentle way about him. I can genuinely see that his criticism isn't necessarily malicious, sometimes hes just trying to help. and I can overlook and address the imperfections he sees in me with humour and a grain of salt. but I mustn't ever laugh at a dirty floor lol I think in time if I pretend to dust, he might pretend to approve....funny...he never seems to keep track of all the times ive cleaned his PIGSTY vehicle ha ha! no hypocrites here! but now, its been a week, he cut me off from his perfect self. at first, it hurt, and yes I was shocked at his audacity to do this, considering what I did/displayed emotion, wasn't even directed at him, but to someone else. and now im realizing I am deeply flawed and my entire character has gone down the drain in his mind. I DID contact him once with a loving message, and that is all I will do about it, because again, I know, deep down, he suffers. much love my friend. anything more would be setting myself up for more hurt. although he did reply lovingly to the message I sent, the ball is in his court now, and im no longer waiting for him to get his head out of his ass lol I will never be his mary poppins, and unless he finds a kitchen contortionist, he may never be satisfied. if we EVER get the chance to talk, which Im not holding my breath for, I promise to approach him gently, because deep down, he is a gentle soul...not all is bad about virgo xxoo

PARcival said...

As a Pisces male, I would actually be very interested in seeing a piece dissecting how my sign acts. I'm aware of some of my traits, both positive and negative, but it would be a good exercise to see how my sign operates in dating from the other person's perspective.

Anonymous said...

yup thats my ex alright i guess a scorpio and a virgo don't go as well as i thought they would

Taurus GIrl said...

Get ready for a Short Story lol. Im a Taurus female and was recently involved with a virgo male for the last 5 months. When we met it was instant attraction and almost too good to be true. Im not one to move quickly or get emotionally invested with anyone so fast,, but w/ virgo it was almost impossible. We became very close very quickly, emails/texts/phone calls every day from morning to night. Seeing each other every available moment we had. I was trying to take things slow but I quickly noticed that he was very jealous. His behavior and expectations of me, were mirroring that of a "boyfriend" which I couldn't understand because he said he wasn't looking for anything when we met. He exploded on me out of nowhere one day saying he wanted to end things bc he was "thinking wrong".. and then said he knows he wasn't looking for anything when we met but things change. I was very confused bc I had the same feelings for him but didn't understand the lashing out bc he never told me. we continued seeing each other but arguments started because Something was not right. he had never invited me to his home. he lied at first and said it was bc his daughters were with him a lot and if I was going to come around he wanted to be sure itd be long term. But after my continuous questioning, he finally broke down and told me that his ex (and youngest childs mother) still had things there. He said they were broken up and had been for quite a long time, but that they had lived together and he was in the process of looking for an apartment. He said she never really stayed there, and that he would stay at his mothers when she did. he apologized and seemed so hurt to tell me bc he thought I'd leave. WHICH I WAS GOING TO. until he continued to contact me and apologize and tell me he didn't realize he would catch feelings for me so quickly. n begged for me to stay to allow him to show me was telling the truth. wanted to remain "friends"/"just "dating in the mean time. STUPIDLY... I agreed. Bc the connection we had was so strong I just agreed to give it a chance & TRY to keep my emotions in check. That was pretty impossible.. He opened up to me about almost every aspect of his life. Family/Work/ his kids/Everything. He was always very consistent. No disappearing acts. ALWAYS showed up. Constant communication. Never disappeared. Even when we'd fight. So I honestly started believing he was being honest about being single..

Taurus GIrl said...

I continued asking about the "ex" & he told me they were engaged when they had his daughter. But that,it ended when they broke up. -_- and would go into detail about how unhappy he was with her. and how they just stayed together for so long out of comfort. 3/4 months in with me. he is continuously speaking to me about his current search for an apartment. asking me about locations.. and basically insinuating that he'd want me there all the time. Then later making comments suggesting we'd be together so much, I'd end up living with him. He then started making references to me as if I "was his" or like we were "together". At this point I felt I needed to get My OWN answers before moving forward with him. Because my feelings were very heavily invested & I genuinely felt there could be a future with us. Long story short.. I put my CIA hat on.. and found who I suspected to be the "EX" but then saw she had a newborn baby (yea let that sink in) I contacted him, and asked several times, if there were any secrets he had to tell me. N he lied right to my face. So I contacted the girl, and told her my situation with him. and asked what was really going on. Surprise Surprise, she told me theyd been together for 6 years, were still engaged. and just had their SECOND child a month prior. But that they had not been intimate since she got pregnant. (weird) I was DEVASTATED. I didn't bother reaching out to him bc there was nothing to say, but was also extremely hurt that he did not reach out to me either. He continuously spoke about me and the situation to our mutual friend for over a week though (knowing itd get back to me im sure). asking about me.. yet at the same time calling me "fake" for going about it the way that I did. I was FURIOUS. So I emailed him one day telling him off.. and he reached back out.. apologizing but telling me I made everything worse & I was Dead to him . UNBELIEVABLE.

Taurus GIrl said...

(part 3 -)
He then called me later that same day.apologizing to me.. and telling me that he just wanted me to know everything he felt for me was real. and he didn't tell me what was going on bc he didn't want to lose me. he explained his whole relationship with the "ex" and how unhappy hed been for over 2 years and that when he attempted leaving after the first child, he feels she purposely got preggo again (bc she was on the pill) n that he resented her for it. He said he went about things the wrong way and should've just dated me after he moved out, but he was being selfish and didn't want to let me go until then. He said he knew we would've been happy and he had a "plan" but he f'd up and hurt everyone. And will not probably not see his kids the way hed like as well. (cry me a river). He continued to contact me for days after, telling me how much he cares for me, and how I don't realize how he feels for me, & basically asking me to consider keeping in contact with him, because he just needs to sort things out and get his apartment immediately and work out an arrangement with custody. But that he really wants to build his trust back with me and give us a fair shot in the future. I was so hurt and emotional, I didn't agree to any of it.. but I agreed to be platonic friends of some sort . (don't really know how or why) but basically agreed to be cordial with each other. But I knew I needed to distance myself as well. He started contacting me everyday, for a few days, and then suddenly called me when I didn't call him all day and EXPLODED, yelling at me saying he wasnt "feeling this" and since I wasn't gonna call anyway, he was going to move along because he doesn't need to "add anything to his plate" anyway with all the stress hes under. he basically went off on me "ending" things.and I was completely CONFUSED. SUPER bi polar... I agreed he needed to "move along" n do whatever He had to". he then emailed me the next day saying "im sorry for everything" 0_o..
im lost again.. a week goes by.. I don't contact him.. and my phone Facetimes him by accident while trying to call another friend. I hung up immediately and assumed hed kno it was an accident since I didn't call back.. an hour later I receive a text from a strange number, asking who I am... when I say I don't know this number.. they reply "oh, bc u facetimed me that's why I ask ".. -__-

Taurus GIrl said...

REALLY DUDE. I found it hard to believe he wasn't aware that was my number... so I got PISSED. bc I took that as a petty jab to let me know he changed his number and deleted me.. OR he was looking so some sort of attention. so I emailed him n called him on it.. and he asks me "howd u get this number, I don't know ur number by heart" .... then ignores me... 3 days later I politely contact him about a credit card charge he had on my account..that we both forgot about... and when I text the number im blocked! I was soooo pissed. so I contact him from another number, and tell him to just deposit the money bc im not trying to speak to him, and hes being childish when I haven't even been calling. He ignores me again. I lost it, n just called. This A-hole.. went off on me... saying I was trying to embarrass him as if he wouldn't give me the money... and then went on a rant about how he doesn't trust me.. and feels I betrayed him, bc I didn't have to do what I did in that manner...and then says this isn't going anywhere anyway.. and that even if this wouldntve happened, we would never have been anything anyway bc he didn't trust me. 0_0 and that he knew my number started wth xxx. but didn't know the last 4 numbers.. cuz if he did he would've never text me. I didn't say much I just told him to deposit the $ n hung up. But I was HURT. I know he was trying to hurt me with all the things he said , but It was really painful to hear him now act like the last 5 months wasn't anything serious. I told him how sorry I am to have ever met him n thought he was any type of decent honest person. N the next day ended up telling him to keep the money as a donation towards his 10 kids and 3 Bms. *asshole*... now im just confused and heartbroken...while I WOULD NEVER Speak to him again.. I would like ANY TYPE of understanding as to how this all got flipped on me and I became the bad guy.. also, did virgo man really mean those things? could he really write me off that easily? or is he going to contact me again? n whats up with the BI POLAR BEHAVIOR? ( sorry for the story guys.. but im going thru it right now :(

The Mirror of Aphrodite said...

@Taurus Girl,
"he finally broke down and told me that his ex (and youngest childs mother) still had things there. He said they were broken up and had been for quite a long time, but that they had lived together and he was in the process of looking for an apartment. He said she never really stayed there, and that he would stay at his mothers when she did. ."

But - that doesn't make sense.

Her stuff is there, but HE'S the one looking for an apartment? Then that means that it's HER APARTMENT. Otherwise, if it was his. . .he wouldn't be the one looking for one, she would. And if she doesn't stay there, then why is he looking for a new apartment???

"yet at the same time calling me "fake" for going about it the way that I did."

HA! He's shifting blame for what HE has done here onto you. If anyone was "fake" in the way they went about this, it was HIM. He needs to take responsibility for his own actions here, which by the way, are the reason this entire situation even happened in the first place. So ignore him. . .the more he talks like that, the more guilty he looks anyway.

"he explained his whole relationship with the "ex" and how unhappy hed been for over 2 years and that when he attempted leaving after the first child, he feels she purposely got preggo again (bc she was on the pill) n that he resented her for it."

Bullshit. Unhappy for 2 years, but having sex. When a mans words and actions do NOT align - it's BS.

"but I agreed to be platonic friends of some sort."

That's a pointless effort dear - trying to be friends with someone who's betrayed you so deeply. You can't be friends with someone you don't trust, so I'd suggest that you don't even bother attempting to do so.

"then went on a rant about how he doesn't trust me.. and feels I betrayed him"

LOL, boy he's not too bright. Again projecting what HE has done onto you. He's the one who betrayed everyone here, and he's the one who is clearly not to be trusted. He seems to want to focus on the end result of what HIS OWN BEHAVIOR brought about. . .but he doesn't seem to want to take responsibility for being the one to have caused that in the first place.

"I would like ANY TYPE of understanding as to how this all got flipped on me and I became the bad guy"

Forget all of that. Anyone and everyone around him who knows the truth about what happened here can see right through all his childish attempts to not take responsibility for his own actions. Again, remind yourself that it's HIS ACTIONS and HIS DECISIONS that brought this about in the first place. How long did he honestly think he'd get away with this anyway?

Trust me, everyone can see right through these little stunts he's pulling. And the more he keeps pulling him, the more guilty he looks to everyone. So don't worry about what this man thinks about you. He won't be able to successfully convince others that have a brain that one of the VICTIMS here is in any way, shape or form responsible for this.

He looks incredibly guilty - so let him continue to do so.

Cont. . .

The Mirror of Aphrodite said...

"is he going to contact me again?"

I hope not. This man is a real weasel. Not a good guy at all. We're discussing the way he's victimized you here for his own admittedly selfish reasons. . .but we're not even venturing into the other victims here. The mother of his child is also a victim of his selfishness, as are his own children.

This guy has a brand new baby at home -- and he's all caught up in his stupid sex life.

Think about that for a minute. As painful as it might be to do so, just think about that for a moment. Do you think this newborn baby has come into the world surrounded by the pure joy and love that every newborn baby deserves to be surrounded by? Do you think this newborn baby is receiving the attention and love and support from it's father right now that it deserves? And for that matter, do you think this newborn baby is receiving the love, attention and support from it's own mother right now that it deserves? She's hurting too, and as a result, she's most likely preoccupied by this discovery. She's probably sad, and as a result, unable to give this new baby her best right now.

When there should be joy and happiness and love in the air surrounding this new baby -- instead, this poor child has been ripped off by his own selfish father and his careless, reckless behavior.

He has STOLEN all of the joy, happiness and love away from this baby that should be surrounding it right now. And he has left multiple victims in his wake. And what's he concerned with? He's concerned with making one of the victims look to like the perpetrator here. He's all caught up in his sex life, and instead of manning up and doing the right thing -- he's acting like a child himself and playing stupid games in an attempt to make himself not look like the villan he is.

This guy has caused nothing but pain to many people here -- and the best thing that could happen to all of you right now would be for this guy to either disappear completely. . .or man up and do the right thing. To take responsibility for his own actions, get his shit together, and get out so that everyone can heal.

"whats up with the BI POLAR BEHAVIOR?"


Anonymous said...

I am a men in virgo with Uranus in the Seventh House,with other words Svengali*2 .32 and not married .Question is :may i have a chance for happiness or i could kill myself and spear the time of a women and why not of entire world.Be sure i not make some flippant remark.Interested in your opinion.Thanks!

Anonymous said...


Anonymous said...

I was with a Virgo for two years and it was two years of bullshit. They are compulsive liars, manipulative, cheap, selfish, heartless, critical and think they know everything. God help you if you try to correct them you'll never hear the end of it! This man never apologizes because he actually believes he is never wrong. Very selfish and selfish in the bedroom as well. You always have to do the hard work and put more into to please them and you get very little back. I am attractive but he NEVER complemented me but wanted compliments back. Straight up assholes.

Anonymous said...

You have been with just one virgo man and....."THEY" are compulsive liars, manipulative, cheap, selfish, heartless, critical and think they know everything?Really?

Anonymous said...

I have been with just one virgo man and he was cheap, selfish, critical, ignorant, homo-phobic, thought he knew everything and so wrapped up in his brain that trying to deal with his uptight a** was F*n exhausting! good-bye

Anonymous said...

I'm a Virgo male, and I have to say, this is 100% true.

I've actually long decided to refrain from forming deep relationships with women, just to save them from my own BS... lol. x).

I have a feeling we were put on this planet to be workaholics, and enjoy our alone time.

Anonymous said...

Ok this is anche old thread, but i want to ad mi two cents.
I'm a Gemini with Aries moon dating a Virgo with Pisces moon. We are total opposites in many ways and from the start I've been very cautious ,knowing it's probably not going to last...
But. I've had a lot of handsome ,smart talking, flashy types in the past, and this guy is the total opposite. So. I though why not give it a go.
He is incredibly smart, an academic and very handsome and fit. We have so much to talk about and text all day about things I've never discussed with other people...but in person. He is so completely introverted that Im struggling. He often simply stops conversation and stares at me. It's quite intense and I struggle with this... I heard somewhere that Virgo is a mix between Gemini and Scorpio ...and I believe that. He has the mental quickness and conversation skills of a gem with the intensness of a scorp. I was with a scorp for three years, and he was the only other guy that did th intense looooong stare in silence.
The problem with us is the aloofness when together. I feel like I always have to make the first move.. Even after we've been going out for 5 weeks and have slept together three times. I've never been the one to make the first move and find this really uncomfortable. He will usually react well to any advances...and verbally tells me all the time how much he likes me etc...but. He won't show it. He's also clean to the point of it being over the top..wants to brush his teeth before kissing, showers after sex etc. morning sex is out...and he's actually cold in the mornings too, when the night before the sex was unreal. Some of the best I've ever had...
I know gem have a name for blowing hot and cold..but boy. This guy takes the cake. He shows he cares by gifts and jobs around the house for me... But all I want is a cuddle or a passionate kiss when he leaves. This may be a deal breaker, and I'm really sad about this ..because otherwise he's amazing.

Unknown said...

I am 47 and the first time I dated a Virgo man was for a 2 1/2 months until I ended it a few weeks ago. Trust me, it will be the last time I ever date a Virgo man again! I am a Libra and read up on all the warnings of a Virgo man/Libra woman union. They were all true. This guy was sweet in the beginning but way too shy and reserved for this social butterfly Libra gal. I tried to make it work...until...we had our first argument. He was nearly an hour late for a date night and totally unapologetic. When I confronted him, he freaked out, yelling at me in a crowded restaurant. That wasn't the end of it either. He stewed in his anger into the next day. How dare I demand he not be late and to apologize? He had zero humility and it was as if he was high on his self-righteous anger. I apologized for my part (confronting him, which in hindsight I shouldn't have apologized). Oh no! He wasn't having it. He was seething with rage, which was ridiculous. You would have thought I killed his first born or cheated on him. He was hell bent on torturing me verbally. He was way too particular for me anyways. Everything had to be just right. I broke up with him and am not looking back. Good riddance. His response to me breaking up with him was acting like a king baby. He blocked my email when I wanted a t-shirt returned to me. Eventually, he mailed it to me. I will NEVER engage with a Virgo man ever again. I think the only good Virgo men are those who've had serious counseling for their issues, especially if they have family of origin issues, which this guy definitely had. Now I know why I've never been attracted to a Virgo man in the past. They are stubborn, OCD-like with certain things, judgmental, and hold resentments forever.

Anonymous said...

Hi Pisces female here. I've being dating Virgo boyfriend for almost a year now. When we're good everything seems right, just by looking at each other's eyes I feel safe in his arms. He asks for hugs when I see him and although it crosses my mind to give him but I still love that he asks for it hehe. He's not the obvious romantic but he certainly does Littles things that when u think back on it makes u smile and appreciate him. Yes, he also acts cold and disappears from social media when I contact him he might not reply but he would call me later to check up on me. From my short experience, u just gotta be patient and love and care for them without smothering them. I compare my Virguy to a cat, no offense to you guys. When ur cat comes to you little vulnerability or wants a cuddle, just shh and enjoy the moment cos before u say awwww, he's gone. Lol enjoy the moments and care for them. I truly wish we'd be together forever... As he once said "I want us to become one".

Vrgo112 said...

I'm a Virgo and see myself in the original description. If I knew what my problems were i would do something about them. It's like if I can help others understand themselves then somewhere along the way I'll understand myself and feel ok about myself being able to make adjustments to how I think or feel about things that's obviously so uncomfortable as it is. I can't see the chase for a title instead of actually being useful sometimes. I can see now how I put ideas in front of what people actually ask for but that's really it. I have a vague sense that I'm really fucked up but for years that was beaten back by a world of rationalization saying I had no reason to be or i don't know why I'm like this so how would I do anything about it. I've searched many times and found nothing. If your around a Virgo similar to me and you want to continue to be around them if someone was going to help me it would be with cringe worthy brutal honesty and then choosing to be my friend anyway. That would probably cause a Virgo to at least know they can question their own ideas about relationships and probably cause them to feel different from how they think. If i didn't get so lucky to have a friend like that at some point I'm not sure i would even be trying to help myself today.

Vrgo112 said...

Im a Virgo guy. If you want to help a Virgo man out then be cringe worthy honest with them in private i.e. "You hate everyone and only care about yourself you treat me like a Barbie doll you bought for a competition and try to hide it under 'being helpful' you don't accept anyone at all and live in a fantasy world and aren't willing to go through the pain of changing for anyone." The point is just be specific. and choose to be their friend anyway. It will force him to question his ideals about relationships if he's accepted against his will for the mess he is. Or just leave and he'll get lonely enough to seek help one day maybe. I had a friend who did this for me and I think it saved my life.

The Mirror of Aphrodite said...

@Virgo Male,
Thank you for sharing that and for being willing to take an honest look at yourself from the perspective of others in an effort to grow and become your best self.

I've had two relationships Virgo males - 7 years with one, and 2 years spent living with another.

I agree with much of what you say. However, as for myself, I cannot justify any further emotional investment and take the time to deliver brutal honesty unless they take the first step of acknowledging their poor treatment of me, and issue an apology.

Because at that point, they're signaling that they're READY to receive that brutal honesty (because they've taken the VERY critical first step of acknowledging there's a problem).

Think of it like alcoholism and rehabilitation - the 12 Step Program. What are the first steps to sobriety and recovery?

Steps 1 through 7 all involve the concept of "admitting and acknowledging." After that has taken place, Step 8 is to make "a list of all persons we had harmed, and become willing to make amends to them all." Follwing that, Step 9 is to make "direct amends to such people wherever possible, except when to do so would injure them or others."

If you do not first openly acknowledge and admit that you have a drinking problem, you cannot successfully perform the other steps (because you are in denial and therefore won't feel you have anything to apologize or make amends for).

So with me, if you cannot take the time to do the right thing (1. acknowledge there's been a problem and that problem was created by you and 2. apologize for your behavior and treatment of me). . .then why should I bother making any additional investment into my friendship with you?

Cont. . .

The Mirror of Aphrodite said...

If you're not showing me that you're willing to invest in me, and you're not acknowledging the hurt your behavior has caused me -- why should I be expected to invest my emotions and provide further support to you?

Relationships require give and take, work, investment, sacrifice, time, patience, etc. And friendships are relationships of sorts.

When one ceases making an investment, yet expects the other to continue doing so like some sort of martyr for them, the relationship/friendship becomes unbalanced. It is no longer a fulfilling relationship for the party that's expected to set their own pain and feelings aside in order to continue providing support and friendship to the Virgo (in spite of the poor treatment they've received from them, that continues to go unacknowledged).

So I guess, long story short, my advice to you as a woman that's spent some 9 years with Virgo males over time. . .if you sense things have gone astray and an imbalance or a wall now exists -- take the time to do the right thing. Take the first step. Acknowledge that you've wronged the individual, apologize, and try to make amends to them.

If you can humble yourself enough to do that, you're signaling to the other individual that you value them. And when that other individual feels valued BY YOU, they may consider their relationship with you worthy of further investment FROM THEM (because you're showing them that you value them).

Because remember - it's not easy for people to deliver brutal honesty.

Put yourself in their shoes for a minute. Delivering brutal honesty is emotionally upsetting. It uses up your personal energy reserves. It takes up space in your mind. It creates friction, drama, and awkward uncomfortable feelings. People lose sleep over this kind of stuff. It disrupts their life. And on top of all of that, they're still dealing with the hurt you've dealt them and trying to process it all -- ALONE.

You cannot expect others to sacrifice of themselves and provide emotional support for you when you, yourself, can't make the sacrifice of taking the first step of acknowledging the emotional pain you've caused them (that has likely left them feeling worthless).

You can't expect to keep "receiving" from others all the time if you don't "give" of yourself in equal exchange.

Does that make sense?

If you disregard how your behavior has affected others, then they'll disregard their behavior towards you. If you concern yourself with the feelings of others, then they'll show concern for your feelings.

It's all about maintaing that equal "balance" of give and take :-)

Again, thanks for sharing. I'm sure others here will find value in your words.

Anonymous said...

My virgo experience was so bizarre, he was a sociopath, cheater, alchemist, spoke of "creator", sorcery and stold like it was his right. Arrogant and ignorant he made threats to harm me and plotted with at least one of my coworkers and they both have recruited others to harass me.

Unknown said...

Wow I never thought me as a Virgo was that kind of man who would think or say anything of this i read holy crap I feel like crap now from all the exes I dated I've wronged treated like crap and didn't care how a woman felt by my character as a guy I feel ashamed 😔 now where did all my kindness caring loving person I was go

Anonymous said...

I think you don’t really get the Aries man entirely well but if there is ANY woman who can read a Virgo?? ITS TAURUS. Omg
You’d think cap can read em seeing as they share more similar traits but nope. Taurus sees things that caps can’t see. And you’re spot on about Virgo.
Definitely never date them tho. Virgo is such a gross sign

Anonymous said...

Don’t ever tell a Taurus they don’t understand Virgo. If anyone understands Virgo ITS TAURUS

Anonymous said...

You guys are so psychotic and delusional that it’s ridiculous

Anonymous said...

I am a Virgo man and i don t know what to do with my life o fight myself to change so bad lately and the other one fights as bad as i fight him and is so painfully everyday i am different and Soo mody i hate myself and i don t doubt others to hate me i stop criticize and i have no courage of showing my true feelings even though I want my other version won t let me and i just won t let him out anymore but trust me i will make it i will make the change i won t give up at all costs this has to finish

Dastan said...

As a virgo man...
Sun in Virgo...ascendent in Capricorn...sex appeal like a scorpio...
can't belive im saying this but...it is true that our dark part may be like MOA described.
But if we know how to control our inner fights...well...99% perfect.
perfection dosent exist...at all...
we want to be good, help...some of us are the best givers...even in bedtimes...
cuz that's what we actually love the most...
the satisfafction we got when somebody is happy cuz we've done something consciously for them...and they like it...boost's our ego...and much more.

We are toxic too...controll is a big part of us cuz for example:
-> if we make a plan (going on a trip), and let's say that in the next couples of days...something happens unexpectedly, we become "deranged" about the situation...cuz we spent time in actually having that trip...and now, we need to replan so we c an atleast get a little glimpse of that satisfaction or happiness that we tried to make for ourselfs...
better said...TIME in general is our enemy and ally...
Il be back with more in the future...about what a virgo man(or atleast to me) is thinking most of the time...but for a little sneakpeek...
think of it as a pentagram....that s how our mind works....in 5 directions and each line from the pentagram represents an ideea.

Dastan said...

too continue my speech that is a little bit above this one.. :)
we have an abandon issue, it happens when we invest a lot in someone, especially our beloeved ones, kindly we wanna try to make the things work out at the best cuz we try to make the things perfect from both persectives.
we think and ANALIZE a lot.
that s our key word "Analize".
a lot of people wonder why we tend to be cold or just distant from time to time...
well, we are like that cuz we want u too understand what y'v done too us badly (and that can be emotional, professional point, break some words and promises).
is not about that we dont want to help u (man or woman), we just wanna teach u some things that are called (emphaty, a different kind of perspective).
mostly we damage ourselvs by doing that cuz we want to help u sooo much...but everybody needs to understand that our view is difficult to understand and difficult to read too because of this.
In my experience, when i tried to open up and love again to the point that i love her(in my story) soo much that i cant even describe it (love tend to be like a drug and sometimes u need to think with your head to let the hearth pump the best emotions in that moment>>) we sacrifice everything, we even sacrifice ourselfs soo u can have the best in life...we do that cuz u deserve it...but dont take it as a weakness and especially for granted cuz, if u do this u will regret it at a point when u will miss it.
i'v always been the dumpee and everytime when i started in taking my own time, focusing on myself and improve myself in whatever action i may do for the future and focus on the future, the dumper always came back because when they made up their mind and dumped me, they took a big part of me, trying too get that part in their life is crucial for their mental health and spirit. (trust me on this one).
is not that simple too make a move to another man/woman as a rebound only to get yourself to a point that u are in the worst case scenario. (trying too find a better one by neglecting that one u just missed).
that's why we are cold, that s why we are distant, that s why we are charming as well.
but we are simple too, give us a little thing, or a single attention (a pinecone for example, a little bracelet, a ring, a moment, a photo) and u make us smile more then u think.

part 3..incoming..

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