"Mirror, Mirror on the wall . . . where did he go, and why doesn't he call?"

Why Mars Makes Your Boyfriend a Bastard

Has your boyfriend been a real bastard lately? Hey, it happens. But fear not, I've got some insight for you, ladies.

You see, our solar system’s fourth planet, Mars, takes its name from the Roman God of War. The Romans were highly vested in all things martial (warlike, militant) and therefore painted their ‘Mars’ as a heroic figure.

Aries, which was the Greek name for the War deity (otherwise known as Ares, The God of War), appeared amidst a more peaceful and studious people - the Greeks - who were notable for prizing educational endeavors more highly than martial (warlike) ones and, fittingly, this War deity was naturally regarded as meddlesome.

Seeing Red: Where The Red Planet Falls and Wars May Be Fought

Most Greek myths featuring Aries portray him as a hot-headed buffoon.

The lesson appears to be: whereas taking the offensive while there’s a "war" to be won is admirable, continuing to maintain the offensive afterwards is in and of itself - well, rather offensive.

In astrology, Mars rules the sign of Aries. Like Don Quixote, the quintessential Aries man possesses the sometimes charming, sometimes regrettable, tendency to tilt at windmills. Suitably then, wherever Mars lands on his natal chart, its possible for him to see a "war" - even where there is none.

Yes, it’s the snorting, rearing bull that wins the cows affections. That said, the sign in which Mars falls may indicate an area where a man may be err. . .too testosterone-laden.

So to keep virile boyfriends from becoming vicious bastards, heed the advice listed below - and don’t push that big red button.

Mars In Aries

Like the infant it represents, being the first of the signs on the Zodiac wheel, Aries is angered when frustrated in his endeavors. With the Mars in Aries man - consider carefully when to say no and tread lightly in those areas. In otherwords, walk on glass, girls.

Mars in Taurus

Taurus represents the preschool years when order and rational reasons of "why" are sought. Don’t even think about threatening the stability of a Mars in Taurus man or you may end up with one of his horns lodged in your rear and you'll be the one who has to explain "why."

Mars in Gemini

Gemini represents the school aged child, learning to use his mind to decode the universe. It’s unwise to challenge the intellectual self-esteem of the man with Mars in Gemini. Do that and he will be sure to "school" you on it.

Mars in Cancer

Cancer rules adolescence, hence their innate need for security. Best not to threaten the safety and serenity of a Mars in Cancer man. Do so and you will see a tsunami of mood swings and a 20 foot wave of emotions coming at you.

Mars in Leo

Leo is the sign of the teenager, encompassing the need for pride and accolades which marks those years. Never sniff at or question a Mars in Leo man’s stature or reputation. The end result will amount to a whiny lion king with a thorn in it's paw.

Mars in Virgo

In Virgo, one sees the new adult, anxious as no other sign to do things right and up to code. Don’t mock the decorum of a man with Mars in Virgo. Doing this will bring criticism and harsh critiques right to your doorstep and he'll be quick to point out those dust bunnies over in the corner, too.

Mars in Libra

Libra represents the balance of marriage, the need for fairness, give and take and the ability to appreciate the other. Don't test a Mars in Libra man in these areas. If you do, he'll become judge, jury and executioner faster than you can bastard.

Mars in Scorpio

Scorpio represents those prime adult years after the insecurity of youth and before old age, when resounding confidence is the keynote. Never portray a Mars in Scorpio man as wimpy or insignificant. You'll quickly end up with a stinger in your eye, your nose, your ear - you get the idea.

Mars in Sagittarius

Sagittarius represents the hard-won wisdom and resiliency of the retirement years. Don’t disrespect the opinion of a Mars in Sagittarius man. If you do, he'll reveal his half-man, half-horse self to you and gallop off into the sunrise before breakfast.

Mars in Capricorn

Representative of extreme old age, Capricorn is a born strategist. Never pooh-pooh the plans of a Mars in Capricorn man - or the randy old goat will cut your right out of them.

Mars in Aquarius

Boasting an agenda rarely coinciding with the mainstream, Aquarius signifies second childhood. Avoid suggesting to a Mars in Aquarius man there are things one can’t do or he'll set off into a full blown mid-life crisis to prove you wrong.

Mars in Pisces

As the sign representing death and rebirth, Pisces requires faith in the beauty of the unseen. It’s cruel if not dangerous to mock the visions and dreams of a Mars in Pisces man. Do that and this slippery fish will slide right out of your grasp and slip back into the sea.

And There You Have It

If your boyfriend has been a bastard lately, it could be that he's seeing red - the red planet that is - Mars.

So have some fun, ladies. Find out where Mars is in your boyfriends chart and tell me, has your Mars in Sag boyfriend galloped off to greener pastures? Are your feet bleeding from a recent battle with a Mars in Aries man? Or has your Mars in Libra man recently hung you out to dry at the gallows pole?

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Derek is a Pisces who is an active blogger for the website Aligned Signs, an astrology matching website. Always having an interest in astrology and self-awareness, Derek is fairly new to blogging. In his spare time he enjoys spending his time with his girlfriend and family and just living a peaceful life.

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The Mirror of Aphrodite said...

Derek, this is an awesome piece!

I must say, reading through these, I've frustrated many a Mars in Aries man (I'm a Mars in Aries woman, LOL), I've yanked stability away from a Mars in Taurus man and I've sent a Mars in Sagittarius man galloping off into the sunset ;-)

And I love this line, "Most Greek myths featuring Aries portray him as a hot-headed buffoon."

So true, LOL!!!

Derek Whitney said...

Thank you so much and yes this was definitively one of the most fun articles to write.

I am a Mars in Pisces man and I will often face a lot of issues in my relationship during this time. I'll try to avoid a fight and it will come back to bite me in my butt because we will fight about the same thing a week or two later.

And I know this sounds terrible but I also catch myself looking at other women during this time. Its human nature to look at the opposite sex and wonder what it would be like to have a relationship with them but I still feel guilty. The main thing I remember is that I love my girlfriend and I would not be the same person I am today if it wasn't for her. (:

It's crazy what Mars does to me! lol

Sophia said...

Hi, I am as well a aries woman with a strong mars. Men fear me, well I am appear too strong for them.

Thank you for the text, I found a lot of helpful information.

Sorry for the bad englisch, I am not a nativ speaker.

Greets Sophia

The Mirror of Aphrodite said...

Thanks for dropping by! I'm glad you enjoyed Derek's piece here!

Anonymous said...

Omg! This is so funny! I LOVE your sense of humor!

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