"Mirror, Mirror on the wall . . . where did he go, and why doesn't he call?"

Experiences With A Taurus Male





Taurus males. . .smoldering, sexy and attentive. But can it really be that good? Well, based on my personal experiences of 13 years spent with a Taurus man, I can say yes - and no. I guess it just depends on how "progressed" your Taurus male is and how submissive he may be to the stimulation of his five senses.

So before I begin, I'd like to state that there are many, many Taurus men out there that are wonderful husbands, lovers and friends. That being said, I'm sure that you are now guessing where I'm headed with this. . Yep - I'm delving into the "dark side" of the Taurus mans nature as many of my personal observations over the years centered around such activity. So my apologies to all you wonderful Taurus males out there.

Taurus folks, as many already know, are all about the stimulation of the five senses. When these stimulations are of a positive nature, they love music, good food, the outdoors, sensitive touch and all things sensually related.

However, Should A Taurus Fall Prey To The Stimulation Of Darker Senses




Lookout!

It's a folly of gluttony, abuse and self indulgence. Taurus males, in particular, can become steeped in drugs, alcohol, casual sex, gambling and the like. He may cultivate relationships, both sexual and platonic, outside of a committed relationship as a Plan B of sorts.

Taurus men are passive by nature and, being ruled by the planet Venus, that of love, romance and money, have a natural tendency to draw people to them rather than seeking people and relationships out. Taurus is all about security, I should know - I AM one.

Nothing pleases a Taurus, male or female, more than stability, a cushy living situation, and security, both financial and emotional. Due to that nature, a Taurus man generally will not act aggressively towards people or situations that secretly they wish to attach themselves to.

Rather, a Taurus man will somehow manage to draw those people or relationships to him. And our Taurus males, in particular, are very good at doing so.
Sextrology refers to the Taurus males motto being one of "I WILL". . . .have you in the palm of my hand.

And For Taurus Men, That's It In A Nutshell


Strong yet quiet, masculine yet sensitive, sexual yet unaggressive, these guys have mastered the technique. And once he's caved to stimulation of his darker senses this becomes one of his favorite pastimes. He'll spend many a day and hours of time cultivating "situations" that he will ultimately reap rewards from at a later date. Thus making all his time and effort worth it.

A Taurus man will place himself into environments where these situations are more likely to happen and he'll simply sit back and wait. He'll show up time and time again and do this repeatedly until he finally achieves the rapport he's been attempting to build. All the while, he'll be acting coy and clueless in an attempt to disarm you of any agenda you may think he has.

You see, for our Taurus male, that IS his agenda. . . .to disarm you (especially women) and make you think he has no agenda. He wants you to relax and feel comfortable around him, not threatened. And in order to do this he realizes that he must repeatedly make his presence known time and time again so that those around him drop their guard.

And once your comfortable and your walls are down, that's when the real work begins. His plan is now in motion and it'll brew at such a slow and steady pace that you'll be none-the-wiser.

Here's a Tidbit of Insight Into Your Taurus Man


He operates behind the scenes, always keeping his intentions guarded and others in a constant state of guessing. He is a man of reaction - not one of action. He forces others to play their hand before revealing his own, all the while, he's working his angle behind the scenes.

By doing so, our Taurus man leads a rather stress-free life. He hangs back in situations, being the master of all he surveys. This ones like a kid in the candy store of life. A huge appetite for pleasure, but lacking the inability to exert abstinence or self-discipline, he's all about the stimulation of the five senses. A come hither kind of guy. His lifelong goal is to be idolized, idolized, idolized - and worshipped by others.

Therefore, Taurus men play a rather submissive role in life and in relationships. If you ask a Taurus man where he'd like to go for dinner that night, most likely, his response will be, "Wherever you'd like to go." He's not much of a decision maker and, honestly, doesn't prefer to wear the pants in a love relationship. This behavior gets Taurus men farther in life and without much effort having to be placed into it. He finds that he usually doesn't have to fight for that which he wants. He waits, he watches, he evaluates. He's a strategist.

Once his goals are securable and within his reach - he charges straight for them. He's not a risk taker by nature. He plans and plots, waiting for his desires to ultimately reveal themselves to him. Our Taurus male tends to build his own small harem of worshippers in life. He may pal around with younger individuals that look up to him in some way.



He may develop a harem of female admirers on the side, of whom he will always refer to as only "friends. A dating pool of sorts, from which he can pull from at his leisure, if need be, or if his preferred stable relationship should happen to sour in his eyes.

And by souring, I mean - if you stop worshipping him and the idol that he envisions himself to be. So ladies, if you find yourself involved with, or gunning for, a Taurus male you may find one of the nicest, most attentive and sexual guys on the planet - or you might find yourself trapped in a sea of confusion and self doubt.

When dealing with a Taurus man it might pay to ask questions and study body language. Most important of all. . . .find out where's he's spending most of his time. That will give you a glimpse into his motives and the situations that he's attempting to attach himself to.

I'd like to hear from women who have had experiences with Taurus men. Where they positive or negative? Can you relate to any of this?

Additional Food For Thought


How, What, When To Text Men

He Is Not Into You: Relationship Red Flags

What Is A Player: Signs You're Dating A Player

The Disappearing Reappearing Man: What To Do?

Men Disappear And Reappear: The Aftermath

Women And Relationships: Reclaiming Your Power

Dating: What Does It Mean When He . .

What Is Nagging And Shifting Blame?

Experiences With Other Signs


Experiences With An Aries Male

Experiences With A Sagittarius Male

Related Posts with Thumbnails

923 Comments:

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Anonymous said...

To Anonymous Taurus male who is engaged to sag female and madly in love with her---Your insight was great and so I have a question that I think you can answer. The Bull I was so into pushed me away (I'm a sag too) stating because he was not ready for a relationship and saw that he could be with me and did not want to risk hurting me with not meeting my expectations. At first he called everyday, texted me throughout the work day then nothing. He does not call at all anymore or text unless I initiate and then only in response. I dealt with it for a while then after several times of him making plans and then standing me up at the last minute I just gave up and have not texted in about a week nor called his number in over a month. Still, I want him and miss him but just won't be a fool which is how I feel. I am not a desperate woman but when it comes to him I am so vulnerable and he doesn't give a damn even though he would say different. What do I do just give up? BTW we have not slept together I told him I could never be casual with him. I am miserable. Please help with some insight no matter how it may hurt.

Anonymous said...

So there’s this taurus male whom I’ve worked with for a while now. I’m a leo, we’re both married. In the beginning of our working relationship I was probably a little more flirty with him. Before I knew it though he was flirting back…a lot. He would move in super close, always staring at me, always staring at my lips and making sexual innuendos about the two of us together. He was constantly bragging to me about how these other girls find him hot and how cool he is, etc. That behavior was more than annoying but there’s still something about him. There’s definitely sexual chemistry there and just when I think the flirting has come to a head and he’s going to make a move….he backs off. Treats me coldly when I come in to work, etc. I finally decided enough of that treatment and started being a real bitch right back. So, I guess my question is this, do you think this guy is really attracted to me or is this all just a game to him? I just don’t understand his behavior. He’s like dr. Jekyll and Mr. hyde and I just never know which one I’m going to encounter. So confusing.

Anonymous said...

Re : Feb 17 7:59

We are very methodical in our movements.. this is best for us . For the jaded or hurt TM’s this movement becomes even more important. Your example 6 of 10 is very good … My advice is to ask direct questions not nested or more that one. Prioritize your question and think about his answers. He will do the same to your questions. You are also correct,, he will not answer the questions until he has the correct PC answer … He is very well-mannered. Get his attention and ask one question and be patiently ready for his answer.

TM

Anonymous said...

So, I decided to give up on my Taurus Lover from the past. For now. Too bad. He's told me he'll pursue. I think Taurus males prefer It that way. So, whatever. We'll see what happens. I can't blame him;honestly. I think he's faithful in a Good relationship, but will play the field a bit to make sure his selection is the right one. Don't we all do that to some degree? But, yes the silence thing is a little over the top. I think it's part control. Also, it's best not to say something you'll regret. They ceratinly have that down. The funy thing is, I feel safe around the Taurus male. I like the fact that he controls himself. Intriguing to say the least. What a Ride!!! And, I don't even know what his voice sounds like. lol

Anonymous said...

leo girl here,

on point with the taurus, believe me they have good and bad just like everyone else, but they are very good at acting the part of being "loyal" when they really are not. I have known my taurus for 7 years now, we were together for almost 2 years the first time broke up because he was not ready to be in a committed relationship, then a couple years passed we got back together and again I am having the same issues i had before. Only problem now is that we live together, turns out he had been on dating sites messaging random girls near the area, then giving out his number and texting these girls very sexual texts basically acting the single part... Idk its sad, I think its time to say goodbye for good this time =/

Dee said...

I am sagi date taurus guy almost 10months..we stay about 500km and only met 3 times. beginning of relationship he so passionate, pursued me..but now he changed. Like ice..he cold towards me. I am so in love with him but he make me wonder and confuse. Need advice and guide..

Dee said...

I am sagi date taurus guy almost 10months..we stay about 500km and only met 3 times. beginning of relationship he so passionate, pursued me..but now he changed. Like ice..he cold towards me. I am so in love with him but he make me wonder and confuse. Need advice and guide..

Anonymous said...

I am so utterly confused.

I don't know if the signals are there or not? NEW
by: Anonymous

He has this ridiculously brilliant smile which lights up his whole face, which I have had flashed at me a couple of times. He stares at me from across the room, even in really awkward situations where it is terribly obvious that he is doing so. I have looked up to see him staring at me, I kinda expected that he would look away once he realised I could see him doing it, but no. He continued staring. It's really disconcerting.

He was very kind and came round really briefly to assist me with putting together a piece of furniture that I just wasn't strong enough to finish off. He left really quickly, but when dropping the small tools in my hand his fingers brushed the palm of my hand. (sounds daft I know - but who touches someone when it wasn't necessary?) Much to my horror after he left, I discovered that I had put the furniture together incorrectly and couldn't put some of the last bits together ( he had done the work that required brute strength), so when I saw him at work the next day- I just couldn't look him in the eye. I was just so shy and embarrassed.

He had come into the room when I was unawares and had stood directly behind me - a colleague had seen him and gotten worried that he was about to touch my back in front of the entire staff, but after about a minute or so he moved off to the side of where I was, where HE was able to see my clearly, but it would have been unnatural for me to look at him.

So in my ridiculous wisdom I basically did not acknowledge him that day. I ran out and bought a block of chocolate for him and put it in his pidgeon hole the next day with a small note telling him how much I appreciated his help. I KNOW he got it, yet he has not even acknowledged it.

It's been over 2 weeks since he got it and still he has not let me know that he received it. Nothing. Besides which, as a rule of thumb, he doesn't talk to me, he just stares at me.

Then on Friday he was in charge of an event and I had to hang around where he was, I was supporting a child in this endeavour. A friend was with me and even she couldn't get over his seemingly blatant peacock style showing off!
I am so freaking confused!!

Anonymous said...

same pisces very confused pisces lady here....after gifts, text messages like "what we have a real thing going on"texting every night for wihisng me good night and everymorning for whishing me a nice day....and also after he started calling me (not only texting) on the phone...he disappeared for the weekend....only a text whishing me a wonderful weekend...nothing else...I am SO CONFUSED and naturally assuming he is spending the weekend with another "special lady"...I am still holding to my guns and not texting or calling first...but still WHY are they doing this?????

Dee said...

Hi confused Pieces, same experience we had. He started everything..sms,mms,video calls..then he slowly dissapeared.
Me too dont understand..

Anonymous said...

and now is back again...hi confused pisces lady again....he texted me with a "just wanted to say hi, was very busy, will be back tomorrow" simple as that....I texed back I was in a meeting and glad he was going to be back....but why are they keeping us if they want to run around....just go and do not come back ...or stay...but STAY....please any taurus man out there to explain this behavior? I get the want to have ladies around, but why keep us with lies? and giveing us the taste of romance if when we respond with the same type of romance you disappear to go tasting other water...and then come back like nothing happens?

Anonymous said...

Dee, this is confused Pisces....I guess is a common game to these people, keep as many ladies on the waiting list as they can....I never initiate contact because I do not want to feel bad if he is "busy" and do not answer or call back...the bad thing is that in the process I am falling in love, and at this point I do not know what to do, do I tell him or keep on playing the adoring fan when he calls????we need a TAURUS MAN to give us an imput

Dee said...

hi confused pieces, he told me last week he need time to think to consider our relationship as serius or not...but the same time he already ignore the sweet & romance things he used to do.
Let us leave Taurus guy before he hurt us again..again & again, leave us in confuse situation.
Reach me at mutiara7y@hotmail.com

TheBull said...

I am a Taurus male.

I took the time to read nearly half of the comments and I found many of them really interesting cause I try to look into myself, try to develop myself as a person and be a better human being.

What's really interesting to me is that actually most (like 90%) of the women here point out what's WRONG or what's their Taurean HAS/HASN'T DONE and don't ask themselvs the question - WHAT's the reason behind all this?

-> ON THE FLIRT/EYE-CONTACT GAMES THING

I respect the truth whether a positive or a negative one and I accept the fact that once in a while I come and say hi to an ex- or just a women I have a crush for.

I do this when I'm single or I'm just not confident enough with my current girlfriend.

The reason I do this is not cause of "the love of the game" or "cause I'm a flirt". I actually oppose flirting - I like things being SAID and DONE, rather than playing games.

I do this eye-games cause I watch for signals, I watch to see if this woman has something special in her so I can point my attention to her and take the time to find out what she is all about.

When we're not sure about you, we send signals. If this singnals are met with confusion, then we won't bother. We don't want to fall into stupid discussions. We look for women with confidence who know what they want.

Don't be mistaken about our "flirt" behaviour. We're looking for the best girl out there and if you are not that one, you'll never catch us for the long term.

Even if you succeed in catching us - it's for the short term, because even in love, even being patient at times, we do have a way of always having one feet on the ground. And if you're not the Queen of that ground, we'll be gone.

TheBull said...

-> ON THE "TAUREANS WANT TO BE IDOLIZED" THING

Deep inside us we want to be idolized, but it's not just an ego-trippin ambition (like some Leo's), it's not because we want to have our sheets cleaned every morning.

It's because when we do give a lot, we want to hear that "Thank you, you're great" etc. 50% of the pleasure for doing something, is to hear that you've done something great, that the person you did it for is utterly-happy.

Why would we spend so much time preparing a dinner for you or trying to find that one so-hard-to-find present for you if you just give us a simple smile back and a "yeeey" impression? You give your simple smiles and "yeeey"s to the boy giving you tickets in the bus.

We are working hard on you and if you don't deliver or give us back the attention we seek, we will slowly lose interest no matter how beautiful you are or where you come from. And suddenly we will walk away.

Then if we don't find the Woman of our dreams, we will come back to you, send a text msg, call you on-a-motherfuckin-Wednesday and we will do that trying to find if anything has chance and whther we can move forward and make a step up.

Take that as a second chance, no matter what. You can have your third, fourth, fifth chance - if you still love us till then - then DO something. If not - we will sense that and will walk away like forever, no problem. If we don't do that in general, then probably we've found our Number One.

TheBull said...

-> IN GENERAL

Let's be clear - we don't do anything, unless it's great. That's sex also. And relationships. And friends. And... pretty much everything.

We're quite simple if you know the HOW's. And if you do know the HOW's - we'll sense that and you'll have your Heaven in your hands. And we'll never look to another woman or play games or be unsure or anything. When we're in love - we ARE and you are the only human being walking this Earth.

(I'm a Taurean and I speak only for myself. There can be like millions of different behaviours and scenarios out there - what I wrote was just 100% me. Don't take everything for a widespread truth)

In conclusion - whatever we do of all the mentioned points above - we do it on our way to finding the Greatest women and giving her all this World can offer. And we often find her. It's just a matter of whether it would be you or not.

Dee said...

Hi The Bull,

Your comment seems 80% right about my Taurus guy but I am not so sure what response should I give whenver he buzz to get my 2nd chance...he said need time to think & everything is cold now.

Anonymous said...

Wow! Normally I do not even really think much of astrology. I have been dating this Taurus man for a few months. I thought he was just confused, well, he made it clear he was still dating. We are both at the age where we maybe have 20 to 30 good years left. I AM TOO OLD FOR THIS SHIT! He has been affectionate like crazy, common to the bred. He is always mentioning the names of other women. The sex is great but, I am finally old enough to know there is more than sex to a relationship. I have already cried enough over this guy because of things I thought were genuine. He has chemistry with any female. I thank all of you for sharing. I will ask God to guide me too but, I think now I can let go much easier knowing I am just saving myself from more heartbreak. I really thought he cared, goes to show you can still be stupid at any age. I do think there are two types but, I think I know which one I found. I don't need the drama so I think I will stay away from all of them.

Anonymous said...

WOW! True this! I'm a Gemini woman who thought I was the one in control. "Come into my parlor says the spider to the fly". Looks like I was the fly this time around.

Anonymous said...

FROM SCARLETT, PART 1:
This will be long & have to take up a few posts in a row, but if you're patient enough to read it for me, I thank you, I need to tell it. Any advice, thoughts or feelings you have to offer are greatly appreciated:

The Taurus Man is 41, I'm 43. He's less than a year from anniversary of his painful & abrupt divorce & has no children, but he did give up his dogs to his ex & they were his children. I am almost finalized w/my divorce, which is a blessing for me. I am ready for love as I was never in love to the man I married & his leaving did me a favor, now I can find a worthy love..
I met my Taurus on a dating site in Nov (2011). When I first came across his lengthy & wonderful profile about the kind of man he is, I thought he wrote it for me. After many fun & simple email exchanges, a few where he was forthcoming w/personal details about what led him to move to my state in Oct (1 month prior), our schedules lined up to meet for coffee in Dec.
My heart jolted in my chest when he walked thru the door. From the moment he sat down with me he grinned & never took his eyes off me again. It took 10 min of conversation & I knew he wanted to kiss me, but we sat there sharing basic information for over an hour till we both had to go. He was right behind me out the door and wanted to kiss me the second we were outside but I directed him to a more private spot near my truck.
W/out hesitation he took me in his arms & kissed me good & we parted grinning. I knew I was in trouble then. 30 min later I got an email saying how much he enjoyed meeting me, how sexy both I & my brain were to him & how he looked forward to seeing me again. I left w/my sons for xmas vacation days later. Thinking about that kiss was with me every night I lay down to sleep. I emailed him xmas eve w/a pic of the scenery where we were & merry xmas message. As he would prove to always be, he was immediately responsive, emailing back a short similar wish that ended with "Hurry Back!".
As soon I as I was back in town after the 12 day trip, I emailed him I was home & finally gave my cell number & he texted me 12 mins later. We caught up a bit on text, discussing schedules, & when I teased him about his upcoming work demands (he's an ER nurse), he responded, "I know... thought a lot about that kiss in the parking lot". Just like I had every night. We ended up agreeing to meet the next afternoon--he changed his routine & did this on short notice to meet me.
2nd meeting, same place. He arrived right after me & crossed the parking lot to me & took me in his arms without hesitation & kissed me good & hello. In the cafe, he stood as close behind me as possible, as if I were his, never let me pay for anything, offered me his coat when I was clearly cold, pulled his chair right up to mine when we sat down & took my hand in his as we started catching up. He was either holding my hand, my knee or leg, or trying to touch me in some way for the next 90 mins without ever taking his eyes off me. At one point I sat w/my face resting on my knee in my hand, gazing back at him w/full unwavering intensity & he did the same. When we left he wanted to kiss me again right away, but I had him get in my truck w/me where we made out for many minutes, him identifying w/the music I was playing, then culminating w/him sensually kissing the back on my hand as he held it before he left. A follow-up text minutes later w/how much he felt like a teenage making out in the parking lot, how much he looked forward to seeing more of me.
6 days & he texted me, asking me to breakfast in 4 days & then if I'd come back to his place. I agreed, but w/stipulation that I wasn't able/ready to have sex w/him yet. He was fine with that. Texted me a bit in between about him finding a place we'd eat & being impatient about seeing me. Met him that Monday morning, talked a lot more....

Anonymous said...

FROM SCARLETT, PART 2:
Was starting to get more info on his past. I look nothing like any of his former loves. His wife & most recent post-divorce quick relationships all dark hair & eyes, curvy built, bigger bodied girls. I'm 5'10, blonde, blue eyes, strong built but more statuesque/proportional, long legs.
Our chemistry & connection is always intense, comfortable, incredibly affectionate and physical. His eyes rarely leave mine & he's always trying to touch or be in contact w/me & I welcome & love it. I am very open hearted & fearless.
We spent 3 hours at his place, shared some personal disclosures, had lots of physical contact & making out but no sex, oral or otherwise, all clothes stayed on. He fell asleep in my arms for 45 mins.
My girlfriends told me I had to tell him how I felt, so 3 days later in a direct email, I did. I let him know very clearly how I felt when I first saw him, how vulnerable I feel when w/him, how my body reacts so strongly to him, but most importantly, how further involvement w/him would mean more to me than just a hook-up or one-nighter. I told him I'm not afraid of intensity or chemistry. I said 'IF and when I see you again', giving him an out if he needed. His response a few hours later, sent on his phone while on a break at work, made me want him more. He said he saw me as a woman strong & comfortable in her sexuality & he respected my boundaries and looked forward to seeing me again & was willing to move at any pace I needed to set.
I replied how much I appreciated that & looked forward to seeing him, then I stood back, having researched Taurus men I knew about giving space. 6 days later, he sends me a text w/a pic of him having just filled in a tattoo on his arm. He asks me to come over in 4 mornings & take a nap w/him after my kids are at school & he's just come off a 12 hr ER shift. It's almost a repeat of before, catching up, lots of making out & snuggling, him coming down from a stressful night's work, letting me into his private world, he falls asleep in my arms again & I leave a while later. I was ready to be w/him, so we set an overnight date for that upcoming weekend, 5 days later.
No contact till that day, I give him space in between, he texts to confirm we're still on. I arrive at his place at 2pm, he was ready for us to leave for lunch, but I was ready for HIM. We have a drink, he's always standing in my arms or kissing me when we're in the same room. LOVE this guy. We finally come together & it's passionate. He takes me to lunch, before then picking up my keys w/pix of my boys on them, the first time he's looked into them. At lunch he asks about my children & stressful week (my sons have autism) & is an amazing active listener as I tell him about them. After lunch he takes a detour & drives me up to an overlook in the mountains where we get to watch the sunset. It's gorgeous. He asks on the drive back to his place about other luck I've had on the dating site. I say not much, not wanting to tell him yet I've lost interest in others.
We have sex again upon returning to his place, it's more intense. He's an aggressive, passionate lover in contrast to his gentle affectionate ways otherwise. He falls asleep for a couple hours, I get ready for us to go out for the evening & relax. I wake him later & we head out, he's always such a gentleman, always close to me, always kissing me or holding me. I'm hooked.
We have a ball, he takes me 2 a couple of his favorite haunts, I take him to 1 of mine. He puts his hand on my knee at the table, he discloses more about his ex-wife, but now I wish I'd asked so much more, it just didn't seem right to barrage him w/questions on our first night. When I share that now I know I hadn't married b/c I was in love & ask him the same, he says, "Oh, I was in love with her." He shares a lot about the stresses of his life & death job....

Anonymous said...

FROM SCARLETT, PART 3:
Back at his place we've had lots to drink & still have amazing sex w/abandon on his sturdy kitchen counters & back in his bed & fall asleep together. In middle of the night I have a bad feeling. I wake up & he's on the other side of the bed. He doesn't come near me for the rest of the night & I have fitful sleep. In the morning he gets right up, & when he comes back to the bedroom he's fully dressed from where we'd thrown our clothes in the kitchen. He lays down next to me on the bed, hands folded quietly on his chest. Something has changed. I get up to dress feeling like I'm now intruding. He makes us coffee & offers to make me breakfast but is out of stuff. He does come back into my arms in the kitchen again, then we sit opposite each other at his table & he asks me what's wrong after seeing my expression. I tentatively ask if it's OK that I'm here this morning, that he slept apart from me & then got up & dressed so quickly. He says beautifully & grinning, "You've got those women's wheels turning, don't you?" & makes me laugh. We talk a bit more & he says we should "do this again sometime", then i need to go anyway. Before I leave I tell him what I couldnt last night, that I said I hadn't too many other dates because I'd lost interest in others. He lights up w/surprise. Then he walks me to my truck after starting it for me & carries my things. Kisses me goodbye & says he'll call me.

3 days later I send an email telling him how such a good night put a spring in my step & he responds immediately that he had a great time too. Then nothing. I send a short email 8 days after our night simply telling him I was having great memories of being w/him, to encourage him if he needed it. For the first time, no response. Then he disappears. The following weekend he posts a comment on a new picture of my face I'd put on my dating profile, saying, "Love It!". I email him & tell him how much I enjoy him, how I have no agenda but think he's a good man w/a strong heart & I just want to get to know him better. I offer to cook him dinner, take him out, & especially express to him that i understand his need for space, that I'm happy to take things slow & respect his boundaries. No response till 5 days later.
I suddenly receive an email from him that tells me how much he liked my email to him, & that as much as he'd like to see me again, he's 'currently seeing someone'. Says it's in the early stages & doesn't want to **** it up but that w/his luck it could go sour & if it does he'll 'call me' (um, no you won't). Then makes a comment referencing how happy looking at his countertops makes him w/the memories. I'm stunned.
I'm not letting him get away that easily. I just want him to have to see me. He's happy to see me when he opens the door, immediately moves to kiss me hello but I move so he can only get my cheek. I am very calm & warm, not angry or emotional in any way. I never cry or talk above a calm voice while I'm there. I tell him I know I made myself clear to him how I felt, that I gave him every opportunity not to go forward w/me, that I made it clear that it would mean more than **** to me. He looks very pained the entire time, but he listens & his eyes never leave me, he's never defensive, he just takes me in. He keeps moving closer to me, keeps motioning to touch me. When he tries to say that he thought we both knew it was just a 'casual relationship' he asks it almost in a question, as if he knows better. I was shaking my head before his sentence finished & say no, I know I made myself clear. I motion between us & say there's more here than that, isn't there? And he makes the barest nod of agreement & then there's nothing else to say. I stand to leave & he takes me in his arms again, hugging me long....

Anonymous said...

FROM SCARLETT, CONCLUSION:

At the door I say, "and no, I don't want you to call me if it doesn't work out. If it didn't mean enough to you the 1st time than I've no interest in being 2nd place." He turned away halfway thru my statement & couldn't look at me anymore. Then I leave.
That was a month ago. He's looked at my profile a few times, including on that day after I left. Thanks to the wonders of Facebook & public profiles, I was able to see many pix on the older feed of his page & then find a tag to his ex-wife, who he isn't FB friends w/anymore, and on her page were many old albums of their life together. They were clearly in love. She a Pisces, he a Taurus. Married not even 6 years, he told me she'd never wanted kids so he'd gotten a vasectomy (in his early 30's!) but he'd always thought he'd be a 'fun dad'. A year before my 1st coffee date with him his ex was still posting about wonderful gifts he got for her. Then somewhere between Jan & Apr of 2011, their marriage ended abruptly & within 3 mos after that he took a job all the way across the country as far away as he could be and moved here. At this point, I doubt it's even to the 1st anniversary of his divorce.
I am sure he bailed on me. That he's still recovering from a fairly severe broken heart & was in no way ready for a connection of the magnitude we generated. He gave up any dreams of children for the woman he was in love with & then their marriage failed after less than 6 years. I have so many questions of what happened to them. Did she cheat? Were there too many difficulties & he gave up?

So now I feel bad having cut off my relationship with him, even though he chose to not pursue me. Until he heals, he can't give me what I need, but it doesn't feel right to not know him at all. I think about him everyday, sometimes so much I wish I could turn it off. I miss him and what I felt with him, it was like love heroin, and he is everything I crave in a man.
I've thought of emailing him & asking him to meet me for coffee, then advocating that we should be friends. But what I've read about Taurus needing loyalty and perseverance, but also loving independent strong women, I'm not sure what to do, if anything at all. I realize Taurus needs lots of time. My Tarot cards show repeatedly that he misses me and wants me to. He still checks in daily on the dating sites so whoever he's involved with isn't too serious, which I think is how he wants it & I don't blame him.

Maybe I should be patient & see if he comes back someday? Your thoughts if you've survived reading this marathon story. Thank you for any feedback, especially Tauruses or those that know them well.

I'm a Libra, moon in Pisces, Venus in Scorpio. His moon, Venus & Mars are ALL in Gemini, poor guy.

Scarlett

Anonymous said...

Hi Scarlett,

I read your story...I am a victim of the Taurus charm as well...I do not want to talk agaisnt them, I love one of them, and I do not want to talk against us, we do what we can...we all look for happyness and some of us cant play games...I honestly think they all are in good faith when they start dating...but if a Taurus man has in his mind he wont commit...even if you match and he falls for you (as mine said) he wont commit...they are stabborn that way...I dont doubt that one day in the future they will realize the huge mistake they commited, and they will try to turn back to see if there is any chance we are still available...but in the mean time I think NOTHING can be done to make them turn back on their decision...Maybe send a greeting for his birthday to open the door...but then do not wait for him, do your life...if and when he will reach for you, and if you will be still available maybe a second chance will be given...good luck

Anonymous said...

Thx for your comment & for reading. I appreciate the support & agree. I realize there's really at this point nothing I should or can do, and we'll just have to see if he ever comes around again & then deal with it. I like to hear the reinforcement that others see/read/feel from my story what I did living it. Thx!

Scarlett

Dee said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
Dee said...

hi, yes indeed that they are stubbforget him & run your life..find ur happiness with a person who deserve ur love..
taurus unpredictable..they show interest at 1st then slowly.
I have bad experience with taurus & will not turn back even he try a 2nd chance.

Dee said...

Hi Scarlett & Ladies..

Yes indeed taurus are so stubborn, they so excited at 1st then slowly dissapear..
Well, I can say that they have good looking but not use much of their brain to think about presents & future. Forget him and save your love for others who deserve most. Me too have bad experienced with Taurus and will not turn back even there is a second chance.

Anonymous said...

To: TM and TheBull

What is going through a Taurus' mind when they're going through periods of silence. Are they taking time to think things through before actually making a move/decision or are they just uninterested?

And when a Taurus is going through a silent period, is it best to keep perserving and letting them know we still care or just leave him be and wait for him to come around when he's ready and feels comfortable?

Thanks in advance for your input!

Anonymous said...

In my opinion and it seems to be reinforced here is if a Taurus man stops calling or starts acting weird or distant....you can forget it. He's done. He's made up his mind that you're not the one. Oh he'll play your game with you and continue to sleep with you if you let him but his heart isn't there. It's almost like they just go through life testing waters to see which girl fits the bill and leaves behind a wake of broken hearts in his quest to find true love. Unlike other signs who may eventually fall in love with you after spending lots of time together, this guy decides pretty quickly whether you're the "one" and if not..he moves on to find her. He is definitely looking for true and lasting love but doesn't find it very easily. If theses guys could just be honest with the women who don't fit the bill and let them know that they will never be the "one" for him it would be easier but they seem very cowardice, not wanting to tell women the truth but instead string them along all the while knowing that they will never commit. If a Taurus man truly is in love with you, you will definitely know it. He will go through every effort to win you over and never look back. For all the girls who are trying to wait patiently wondering if this guy really likes you and is just "ignoring" you trying to figure things out....stop fooling yourselves. Move on to someone else. It is never going to happen.

Unknown said...

My Bull is as sick as they come! After reading this, I see I've fallen for his tricks! I idolized him for soooo long, it started to feel natural. But I'm finally waking up from my 4 year coma! He's soooooooo selfish. Beyond selfish. He's lazy and egotistical and loves to be in charge, get in the last word, BUT NEVER will discuss his points or explain the "whys". I have beat my head against the wall till I'm so sore I can't see straight! I literally have given this man everything, and he rarely thanks me or even acknowledges the gesture. But if I don't give him anything, he throws a fit! He's lazy, sooooo lazy. He won't drive to see me, but drives daily to College. He's 37 and doesn't work, yet is well fed ( in fact he's getting fat) and I don't see him daily, so I'm not feeding him. Guess I'm just 1 of the many in his Harem...
I have tried to leave him alone, tried to just STOP contacting him or allowing him in...it's not working. I'm weak for him only. Any other guy would have been loooong forgotten. I don't know why I'm till allowing contact, but I wish I could stop. I wish I could "quit" him altogether and erase all the memories, reset and start new. :(

Anonymous said...

This is the re to the post for
March 19 5:40 pm.

When he is in a period of silence - He is thinking, good or bad he is thinking. He will be back if he feels you are good for him and when he comes to get you he's going to bring it. For get me nots are great but don't push. Now out of respect you should tell him how you feel about the time in question (silent) after the fact ,,, No DRAMA - straight to the point. He will respect that.

TM

Anonymous said...

This is happening to me now: I new my bull was running around, after all, I said to myself we are dating....he gave me a couple gifts, bring roses..now he is inviting me to a ball game...fantastic I thought...he came to fix my vasps problem at my house, and then he sent his tenant plumber for an estimate...the plumber recognizes me from one of my visits, I said with a smile :yes its me, one of the temporary guests..." he smiles and said oh you know that? I do not know how you can stand to be "one of them" the house is grand station, one car pulls out one car pulls in, I do not know how he does it, he wants to be a stud...for me he is crazy" and then he started to look at the project...I AM DEVASTATED...it was not him having a couple girls ...I was falling for this guy now I am not picking up his phone calls or answering his text....I feel sooo hurted...he just finished to tell me he cared deeply about me...yeah right me and another 30 women

Anonymous said...

hello all pisces lady here. i kinda agree and disagree with the above lady.i have had this male in my life for 14months and i have learned alot about him and the first thing ladys is to give them the space i dont mean a day or two i use to try and talk to him every day and would many times not get answered but after i stayed away for a few weeks and tx him he answer me very fast and we had a nice talk so i gave him more space then txed him again and he answer again very fast so i asked him over to lunch his answer was YES he say he likes the way i eat cuz i take good care of myself eating healthy i havent had the lunch becuz i have become a little a shy but belive me befor the week is out i will have him over. i asked him do he want me out of his life and he always make me know he wants me there he told me when we first met to be patient cuz he had things befor me that he needs to take care of . i do belive he is alone and dont have many woman on the side . he knows me when im thinking of something nice to do for him he always i mean always say thank you to mewhen i do something for him and i alwaymake him feel like a real man he has told he he loves me and i truely love him back so i show him when i give him his space to fix things so ladys find something to do give them the space if you cant wait then move on but me im waiteing on mine .he also has told me we are alike in some things so all the things he tell me mean something im not looking for a man i wasnt looking for him but we met i like him and im sure he likes me back so i will let all know how linch went so stay well all .O one more thing he will tell me when im out of place and i love him for that cuz no one in my life would do that to me

Anonymous said...

my experience - get the hell out of there...don't waste time on this user...he is sensual and outstanding at making you believe he cares about others. Essentially he cares about himself, himself and himself.

Anonymous said...

Reply to TM from 3/21/12:

Thank you for your comment.

So, would it be appropriate to say that during a Bull's 'silent treatment' is when extreme patience is required to endure the the test of time? And I agree with you about not pushing the Bull.

Anonymous said...

To TM,

my bull is now coming around, for me he does little things here and there around the house, he keeps on telling me how he loves his time with me...he tells me how he does not feel pressured (I know I am not the only one), we talk about everything...but he also does not want to commit (past esperiences he said) he said he wished he could but that would ruin everything (??)I know taurus are stabborn so I am not bringing the relationship topic up..but when with me he is so affectionate, so caring,now how can he be so present with me so interested in my life and then not being a couple?

Anonymous said...

I have been talking to my Bull for almost 6 months and like many of you in the beginning it was fine...we talked often, texted, saw each other.He and I have never had sex and only kissed a few times but the chemistry is crazy between us. I fell hard and told him I cared deeply for him. He would share his insecurities with me, his desires to be a better man, really intimate stuff. Then as cold as ice he basically cut me off without cause or notice only texting me and with that I was the initiator. Every time we would plan to meet he would cancel last minute and do it via text. When I asked why the sudden change he told me it was because he saw he could be with me and before we met he was working on other things and didn't expect these feelings. I dealt with the texting not wanting to lose him. Just this week, I cut off communication because I deserve better. The Bulls can be so cold, callous...I have cried over this BUT am taking back my power. I admire their self-control but hate their selfish and controlling nature. I'm done!

Anonymous said...

To anonymous March 29,2012 4:18 PM

He is very comfortable,, He will be that way . Now the question is,, can you be in that situation. He will be kind, affectionate, Loveable (it is in his nature) all of the good things that this relationship brings without commitment? If so have fun, If not tell him, sit him down and tell him and then move on and don’t turn back. It is awfully hard walking away but we need what we need. Now if its not a need than you are driven by your wants (train wreck) !!!

-TM-

Anonymous said...

I went back to read some of the comments about the Taurus Male experience good and bad. I also read the synopsis of the Taurus male. I got to thinking,, What side should I discus with the ladies on this site. I find myself in a quandary! I do want Taurus Males to find the ultimate happiness in life, like was said before me and will be said after “when a Taurus Male is happy so is the world”. I know what I will. I will start with one exercise at a time, review then assess.
-- To find out what he likes about you –
Try to list out 10 things that you do for him. Remove one thing at a time. See if he still comes around then try the next thing. Now this is a good indicator but is not 100% just one thing, it could be a couple of these things in combination. This will give you a good idea of what he likes and dislike what he can live with and live without.
Danger Zone – If he is fixated on you physical design and nothing of substance this is null and void.

Let me know,

TM

Anonymous said...

I was shocked when I read the article, his behavior is described so accurate! This is the only ex boyfriend in my life who is still there somehow a year after break up. He just knows how and when to contact me.

We were in on and off relationship. He had his cold moments, then I had: I can have any man I want so don't test me, and at the end we split. I suggested to start over, to simple forget what we've said and done, but he just didn't have energy for that. I said ok, and don't call me ever again.

But he did after a while, and trying to win me back for a year. He is so open with his emotions now, I do not know what to think. Because there is an age difference (I'm older) I told him that even if we could manage to overcome our problems, I don't want to fool around anymore, I want family, kids etc... But, he claims that he is completely aware of my age, and that he wants to give me all that. I'm pretty good in reading people, but this time I'm not sure. Off course I refused for the 100-th time after break up, but I know I can change my mind anytime. Just don't now how to test him.

CancerLady

Anonymous said...

Having had a Taurus male friend for over 25 years, I find much of this to be right on. He can be the most caring, thoughtful person ever OR the most self-centered bully, interested only in those matters that benefit him personally. Unfortunately, it's the latter characteristics most of the time.

As a Scorpio female, I find I need 'breaks' from him, where I cut-off contact with him for a bit to decompress from his "It's my way or the highway" attitude. Some of these guys claim that they don't read hints and want you to be honest with them, but don't be fooled!! They certainly can read between the lines and if you are honest with them, just refuse to see your point of view and/or can't handle what you are saying to them.

Overall, beware. As long as you know what you're getting into and are prepared to go along with their ideals even if it means stifling your own, then more power to you. Personally, I can only handle so much b.s and conniving before I need a vacation from my Taurus male friend.

ConfusedVirgo said...

Wow, I've read through all the comments that have been left by everyone. I need some advice, I didn't see anything written that is close to my situation.

Let me start by saying I'm a Virgo. I just started talking to a Taurus and have been trying to figure out if I am wasting my time or if he is someone that I should continue to talk to.

He and I have been talking on the phone every night and usually we text through out the day. Today I haven't heard from him at all and I'm doing everything I can to resist calling him again. Of course in my usual Virgo fashion I'm over thinking every little thing.

During our phone conversations he's constantly making comments about us having sex, nudity, or me having his children. Every time he does, I question him on it. I told him that I won't be having sex with him for quite some time and if that's not ok with him, he needed to find another girl. He keeps bringing up the issue of children and I have explained that I didn't want any right now because things in my life are hectic and I need to be sure of certain things. I've told him that he's making me nervous and not certain what to think of him. I have been honest with him about how I feel about things and he tells me about girls hitting on him. Which I get super quiet then tell him that I was jealous, well eventually. I am possessive, which he knows and is ok with.

I'm getting ready to have a discussion with him about if he meets another girl and likes her, he needs to tell me. His last relationship ended badly, while he was out of town, his girlfriend cheated on him with her ex.

I don't like wasting my time and I have a problem where I date to get married... I know, dating should be fun, blahblah.

I'm not sure if I should continue on with him, he told me he liked me only after I admitted to him I did. He was so happy to hear that which then caused him to talk more about me having his children. Which I have to admit freaks me out a bit... He's always telling me I should be with him and cuddling... He knows that I am suspicious of him and his motives. I don't know if he's talking to other girls, he tells me he's not but I don't know if that's true. The moment we started talking it was just amazing.

Hmmm... apparently there's just going to be more obsessing and thinking going on for me.

Jay R said...

Jay - 25y.o - 6'2" - May 11th - Dark brown hair, brown eys. (Typical Tauren Male)

Ok ladies, it goes a little something like this....

The first clue is that you can see plenty of male taureans on this site (including myself) reading up about them selves. We are natuarally self centred. We like to be liked. I personally have a flirtatious relationship with every good looking girl in my office. And they all respond to me positivley (even the married ones). This is because we like to have our ego's stroked. So yes, we do have plenty of female friends. 90% of my friends are female, and 60% of them I am attracted to and flirt with.

This is me when I am single or seeing someone..

If however I am in a replationship, the flirting will ease off, and my focus will shift...HOWEVER...this will only happen if my partner provides me with the same amount of ego stroking and comfort that I was sourcing from my female colleagues and "friends". Is this a bad thing? Yes... probably, but what do we give in return? I personally, when happy with my partner, will treat her like she is the only woman on the planet. There is NOTHING....NOTHING that I wouldnt do for her. BUT, we taureans need the same in return... the minute we feel like you would not do the same in return, we will shut you out for good!

I had purchased a ring for my ex, and asked her fathers permission to marry her. I was ready to prupose, when one day it became clear to me that I was so committed to this girl, that I would give my life for her (litterarly), yet when I asked for simple favours, or needed assistance, I was not met with the same generousity. So I ended it that same day and returned the ring.

Now I am dating a girl who is too independant for me and wants to rule the relationship (including our sex life), which doesnt sit well with me... So I'm taking my friend to see Macbeth at the opera house next month...

So in summary, yes, we are bastards, but we know how to love and treat you right... and I think that when we do treat you right, we do it better than no other. All you need to do is (this is for me personally)

1. Make me feel like I am the only man that matters in your life
2. Meet my overwhelming affection without hostility
3. I must feel attactive, so turning me down for sex for silly reasons is not a good idea... I will feel like my ego has been shattered and will look for it to be mended (doesnt mean cheating).
4. Dont ever act like you dont need me or could do better or be without me... because I will entertain your act and make it a reality.
5. Love me for who I am and not who you want me to be.
6. Accept from Day 1, my habbits, whether they are good or bad (smoking, drinking or whatever) because they are not going to change unless I want them to.
7. sex, affection, love, kisses, hugging, admiring, sex, sex, and more sex. if I have a limitless supply for this from my lady, then I will look no where else, I will never doubt you and I will treat you like you are the centre of the universe. and the funny thing is, we will tell you every day that you are the most beautiful person on earth and will never get tired of telling you OR showing you!

Good luck ladies :) and for those of you who want to send me hate mail, my number is.........(KIDDING!)

Anonymous said...

Wow I wish I had found this website earlier! I'm a sagg female and I need advice on a taurus male. We dated for close to a year and broke up mid 2008. I broke up with him, and to this day I'm not entirely sure why.. I do things on impulse sometimes, and I remember feeling unsure about how much he really liked me, compared to some other guys I knew who had liked me at the time. Anyways, after we broke up he told some mutual friends that he had gotten over me after 2 weeks. Then at a party another 2 weeks later, he drunkenly told everyone he wanted to be with me. We ended up getting back together for a few months but I guess it wasn't the same; I felt that he was being distant towards me. I asked him early 2009 if he still liked me, and he flat out said no. Some time passed, we remained friends and I dated someone else. The whole time I was dating that other person (for a year), I still loved my ex. Eventually my boyfriend & I broke up in 2010 as I found out he was cheating on me. My ex was supporting me the whole time. We spoke very often and became closer, we even hooked up late 2010. After it had happened, I asked him if he wanted to casually hook up occassionally.. what I really wanted was to be WITH him in a relationship, but I didn't think that would be what he wanted and i was scared of scaring him away. He said "no, sorry. i just can't do that. i dont want to be friends with benefits, i'm sorry". I asked him to explain what he wanted, but being a typical Taurus, he didnt. Then in early 2011, I got the courage to tell him after so many years how much I love him, and he literally did not respond. I tried contacting him a few times through texts and he would not respond. We didn't talk for a few months but then we started talking again around his birthday in may, and since then we've been really good friends. I noticed though that in the past few months, whenever we've hung out, he always makes sure that one of his friends were there; it's almost as if he can't be alone with me. A few months ago, we were in a car driving somewhere and my hand accidentally touched his when i was reaching for something, and he got all nervous/awkward after, which is unusual considering our long and close history together. I'd rather have him in my life as a friend even though i am in love with him, than not have him in my life at all. I'm unsure how he feels about me or what all of these mixed signals mean.. HELP!! Please, this has been going on for too long :(

Anonymous said...

I'm the female sag writing about a taurus male above.. I forgot to mention that I recently found out that when I started dating someone new, my ex WAS actually bothered by it and he did have feelings for me .. even though he denied it at that time. This is what bothers me the most. The fact that he will never openly tell me how he feels when I ask. I either find out through mutual friends, or I find out years later.. Thats probably the reason why I'm still not over all of this. Advice please?!

Anonymous said...

To Sagg female:
I'm not a Taurus male, but I have some experience with them. Your story seems pretty much frustrating, you are in love with him all these years, and he is always distant, but also always there.
I don't understand them either but I know this, when they don't have feelings, they just disappear. When they have feelings, you can't get rid of him. So your Taurus is somewhere in between. It seems to me that he is trying to be your friend, and he doesn't want to cross that line. Maybe you are still attractive to him, and that's why he got all nervous after you accidentally touched him. But that doesn't mean that he wants you as a girlfriend.
The more important thing here is what do you want. If you are really sure that you are able to be just a friend to him, than you have that already. But if you want something more, well, I might be wrong, but with Taurus males, it's not up to you. When they decide that you are the one, they will do anything to be yours, but you can't make them want you. I think that's why they don't give you feedback when they are not sure, to avoid manipulation. Because first of all, they are really sensitive.

Good luck
CancerLady

Sagg in Distress said...

Jay R your comment was very revealing thank you for the transparency. Can you or another Taurus male offer me feedback on my situation. I have been consumed with my Taurus crush for 6 months now. He chased me at first then cut me off suddenly stating it was because he was focused on other things and was only looking to have fun never expecting to meet a woman of my caliber and was not ready (I'm five years older than him). We have never had sex but the chemistry between us is high which is why I told him I could never be casual, that he was dangerous in that way. I have never been so attracted to a man before. After some time of communicating on and off again (only by phone and text he would never keep his plans to see me always canceling at the last minute) we are basically limited to texting with me initiating but he always being responsive. The tables have turned and the farther he pushed me away the more I tried to convince him to be closer to me...None of that worked and probably made the situation worst. What I still don't get is why he communicates with given he is getting nothing out of it (no sex, money, nothing that would be totally self-centered to me) and I know he has a way with the ladies so no lack there I'm sure. Now to bring you up to date I have told him several times I would stop communicating with him then reneged always contacting him. He in response would tell me each time I can't get rid of him he's not going anywhere or that if I date others it will be just until he's ready to come and get me...BAFFLING!@#$%? I've been abstinent for some time now and have shared my sexual frustration with him in flirtatious texts in which he always flirts back. BUT today I texted him more explicitly than I have ever before sharing with him that I am in love with him even though we've had limited contact and that these feelings have stopped me from allowing other men who beg for a chance with me(a few who I even like back). I told him I only wanted to end this abstinent thing with him that in my head I think I have been waiting for him (he once asked me to be patient with him) and that I'm not crazy just a woman whose fallen in love with him. The thing is I had an epiphany and texted him this morning that I can't text, talk via phone or ever see him again. It hurts to be in love with someone just form one side. I have never been in this situation before and it is very painful for him only am I this weak. Any other man and I would have stopped communicating a long time ago. I will never talk to him again I know if for no other reason embarrassment for my explicit but truthful text sharing I am in love with him. I wonder what he is thinking...please give me some insight on what he might think of me sharing this. And just so you know I'm not a crazy stalker type at all just the opposite-- a smart, educated, very attractive business woman with men always pawning after me; even he told me once I had myself really together that was of course before all the shared emotion Lol. I cried about this today knowing it was really the end. The sexually explicit comments aren't what's bothering me the most because Taurus males are very sexual it's the telling him I'm in love with you part. We live in a big city so have a good chance of never running into each other again. I know he will ever acknowledge receipt of the text. I guess I just need to be reassured he doesn't think I some kind of psycho. I will forever love this man. Please Taureusmale offer feedback.

cruella1 said...

I need advice! I am a sagittarius woman who has recently started "hooking up" with my Taurus coworker. It has been about 3 months. We always have a great time together, talk about everything, laugh non stop,  and really enjoy eachothers company. He made it clear to me in the beginning that he isn't looking for a relationship because he is very focused on establishing his career and I'm sure being hurt in his previous relationship has a lot to do with it as well. Recently we have become more affectionate and comfortable with each other, and talking and hanging out more often which has me confused. On two separate occasions I told him I wanted to end things and that the reason was because I really like him. Both times he perused me into continuing on with it, and being the optomistic hopeless romantic that I am I couldn't say no. I don't really understand why he would want to keep going with it, knowing how much I like him if he doesn't want to date me. He has told me that he "likes me a little" but he also says that he feels like he is too comfortable with me for what our situation is supposed to be. I don't know what that means or if I'm just setting myself up for heart ache. I'm also not the most patient person in the world. I dont know how he really feels and can't bring myself to ask him. I don't feel that it's been long enough to go "there" and I also fear his answer. I'm just scared that I may be mistaking his kindness and good heartedness as something more than it actually is. Any opinions? Insight? Please help!!

Jay R said...

To Sagg in Distress:

From Jay R

I know people don't like hearing what they already know, but I don't think he is interested in a relationship with you. Sorry.
The reason being is this; Me personally, if I have become amarous, or have a crush towards a woman, I will go to pretty extreme measures to show her and effectivley get her...
He is not doing this. Which means he is using you to ensure his ego is maintained. I can garuantee you he is chasing someone else at the moment however is keeping you on a leash. I dont know if you read my previous post in great detail, but I'm kind of doing the same thing at the moment. It's nearly 4pm here in Sydney, and I'm heading out for a after work drink with an old work colleague of mine because she emailed me saying she needed "a shoulder to cry on"....
We are suckers for the ladies, and unless we are completely in love and feel loved back, we sway like branches in the wind...gracefully, peacefully, even beautifully, but we can snap at any moment and cause havoc for anyone in our path.

Anyway I digress...

If you want to keep persuing this guy I can only give you 1 tip (based on what would attract me personally)....

If I didnt really like a girl who was after me, but found her attractive enough to keep in contact, the only way she would get my attention is by

1. Looking amazing everytime I see her
2. Looking happy
3. NOT send me crazy I love you msg's or cant be without you (unless she's my GF)
4. Get another dude!!! We are jelous bastards!! If I feel that a girl was chasing me but now wants to chase someone else, I MUST have her.
This can back fire though, so don't shove it in his face, let him find out another way... facebook, seeing you out, picture, from a friend etc...

The other way is to have sex with him...

I'm sorry it's not the best advice, but babe, the guy is not into you.

Best of luck x

Jay R said...

To cruella1
From Jay R

OK once again, as my previous advice Sagg...

I cannot stress too much more that, If we like you or even if it is just to have sex with you, WE WILL make it known to you and everyone else around.
Game playing or being distant or saying, "We are too comfortable for what this is supposed to be" is all code for:

1. Im getting over my ex gf, I dont want you
2. Im not attracted to you but dont want to be alone
3. I need you around to keep my ego up but will leave once someone else comes around.
4. Im seeing someone else but like playing the field
5 etc etc etc

Ladies, stop acting like baby tiger pups, and get your sleek, sexy, mysterious TIGER on! We love that! We want to explore you because you seem exotic and unfamiliar to us, and then we want to CHASE YOU and CATCH YOU! And then.... we want to keep you all to ourselves like a selfish kid with a new toy.

You have to let us chase you. I hate being chased unless I am in love. If in love, chase me and I'll love you more. If I'm not, chase me and you'll find you're chasing your own tail.

Cruella, same advise as I gave to Sagg in Distress... play it cool babe, you'll get there. Get your sexy on a be a sexual tiger, but a lady at the same time! (hahahaha we are complicated men I tell you!)

Anonymous said...

Thank you CancerLady for the advice you gave me (female sag). I agree with how you're interpreting the situation.. I also agree with the idea that it's usually up to the Taurus to decide what he wants to happen next and to call all the shots. We have lots of mutual friends and I think we'll be going out a lot together over the summer time so maybe when we're out, it'll be easier to really see how he feels. My gut feeling does tell me that he has some feelings for me, but for other reasons might not act on them. I remember when we broke up, he had said he was okay with it because we're from different cultural backgrounds and he said he'd prefer to be with someone from his own background, which could be stopping him from liking me fully. Anytime that something physical has happened between us since we broke up, he's always been the one to initiate it.. but then again, it could just be an attraction, rather than actual feelings. I hope I get some answers soon, this has been going on for too long and I feel as if I'm not capable of moving on because my feelings for him are so strong and it feels like no one compares to him :(

Anonymous said...

To Jay R:
Well actually you are not complicated. :) If I understood you well, you do not make compromises. It is going to be the best for you or not at all (to be someone to entertain you when you don't want to be alone or something, is not at all for me). You can overlook flaws of another person only if it doesn't bother you at all. :)

I wrote earlier about my Taurus, and I just want to ask one question, is it possible to try to win someone back (it is going on for more than a year), and lie about how serious you are now? Just to please your current needs? My mind says, yes, it is is possible, my guts tells me, he is honest, but what scares me the most is exactly that story about your almost fiance! You can change your mind so easily! Because she maybe wasn't in the mood or something. For me that is easily, from your perspective it is the key of good relationship, are you ready to be there for me anytime, anywhere, no matter how not important seems to your partner? If she really loves you, she will not think about that, she will just do it. I'm a Cancer, so it is natural for me to be caring. But than again... I really don't no. I'm avoiding him again, because I don't no how to behave.

CancerLady

Sagg in Distress said...

Jay R thank you for your candid feedback. You are correct in that it is something deep down I've felt but hoped was not the case. This was a hard pill to swallow but has helped me. Not to bombard you asking for feedback but unexpectedly I heard from him the very next morning after sending the text and would like to share with you for your insight. Of course, I never in a million years thought he would respond at all after telling him I loved him. All in all he "kinda" responded. You know how you guys are you answer without giving explanation leaving us with more questions then when we started. All texts will be in quotes so Monday morning he texted "Good Morning love have a great day." I responded after a few hours and some consideration "You too and thanks. I know that explicitly honest text was a lot to lay on you and way too much emotion for a Taurus but necessary. We should not communicate anymore Ken. Take care." He responded immediately with "U are so mean when you don't get your way!That's your horoscope though!Lol. I am going to speak to you whether you like it or not." Feeling stronger about my new decision to move on and without any anger only love for him I responded with "Not this time Baby...things are different now. Please keep my sheer vulnerability private...I'm already embarrassed about coming clean about my real truth.I know you will respect my wishes." Thinking he would surely understand he immediately responds with "I think your wishes suck and I will continue to be in touch with you have a blessed day beautiful!" Jay R what is this all about. I am confused. He has no lack for women I know as he is a very attractive, intelligent man (6'5/muscular build). So why want me for ego stroking when most of the time my communication has been to call him on the carpet for his inconsistency to the point once he asked me once to please stop being so hard on him. Why did he respond at all after I asked really sincerely to cease communication? Is this his attempt at word play to keep me hooked, on that leash you spoke about? Why bother if he has someone else surely she's stroking his ego and a lot more? Ultimately, your advice will help me to let go and entertain someone who deserves my attention. Nevertheless, I admit still I love him and only wish the best for him and can't say that if he came after me I wouldn't give in...BUT I can say he would have to come after me be the chaser. Thanks and can't wait to hear your perspective.

Anonymous said...

To Sag female:
You are welcome :), but I think you should pay attention what Jay R wrote, because he is a man (first off all) and Taurus. You see maybe there is a way to win him back. He wrote some advices, to show that you moved on, to be always shiny and beautiful with big smile on your face...

But I would do a different thing, I would find I way to spend my summer time somewhere else. I don't no what is your story, but for example to find some internship, to travel, to visit some distant cousins :), something like that, or at least try to find some new friends :). You can't force yourself to forget him without new experiences. And at the same time you will show that you moved on, you will be happy with new stuff in your life, and maybe you will meet someone else. Because it is going on for too long and you need a break.

CancerLady

Jay R said...

To: Sagg in Distress
From: Jay R

Where do I start? My first thought when reading your post regarding his text msg's was; "hahaha, nicely done Ken."
This guy has (I'm sorry to say) you wrapped around his finger. And I don't mean to come accross insensitive when I say that.

Sagg, he is a clever man, no doubt. Look at the words in his text. Calling you "love" to ackownledge the fact you told him you love him, but without him having to address it. And he did not delve deeper into your comments about wanting to break off all communication, he dismissed them and played it off telling you "your wishes suck"....

Now think hard here... in what situation does a man have the guts to dismiss a female's feelings/point of view/thoughts, without thinking about the repurcussions of his actions? I mean seriously, he knows that he can dismiss your wishes and flirt with confidence in his texts to you without worrying about offending you......BECAUSE????........ he knows he's got you!

Now - what to do?

If you want him to come after you, you are going to have to STOP STOP STOP talking deeply or emotionally to him. Let him think you have switched off. Dont ever tell you love him again!!! unless he tells you first of course. Just be flirty without coming accross too full on (desperate). Treat him like he is a guy you are kinda interested in but you have other prospects and you are keep him around just because.
He is going to freak if he thinks you have lost your ooommfff for him.
Take your time replying to texts. Wait 5 hours if you can! But reply the same day always.
Now my dear, following the above, start giving him back his own medicine. Basically just act like him! Dont acknowledge his comments and avoid answering his questions. Keep in mind all of this is game playing and if he wanted you, you guys would be together...

To answer your questions "what is this all about?". Simply put, he is currently happy.
He has you chasing him, he might have someone else as well, he feels wanted, loved, confident, ego'd up and ready to dominate. "why ruin this" he would be thinking. Why let go of my little Sagg woman who loves me and wants me? Who doesnt want to be loved and chased!?

If you put him in a corner and give him an ultimatum, it wont end in your favour I feel. If you walk away from him, he might come back at a later stage (couple of months should do it). If you start the game playing and go back to basics: teasing, flirting etc... then you might turn things in your favour.

But ask your self this; "Do I really want a guy who is not willing to commit to or acknowledge me and my feelings?"

Again, I just give advice based on what I read from these situations and how I know I am when I am acting like the above mentioned examples.

Hope this helps x

Let me know what happens! :)

Jay R said...

To Cancer Lady
From Jay R

Well your opening paragraph seemed to be a forward thurst with sword in hand.... I see you've met someone like me before ;)

I have been told the same thing many times before. However, I think I have developed enough self awareness over my brief years to be able to identify the difference of wanting selfish love, and wanting love.

I would agree with your comments and would make them myself if I were in your shoes, however I assure you, there is nothing selfish or uncomprimising about me when I am in love.

Moving on to your concern.

Am I reading it right that your old partner/boyfriend wants to come back however you are concerned that he might change his mind again?

If this is what I am reading, then my personal opinion would be yes. It is possible for him to come back a different person ("fixed", so to speak) and commit to a relationship with you. But you would have to be able to make sure within the first month that his old habbits, behaviours and tendacy's dont show their ugly faces. If they do, you are just lining up for the same theme park ride you threw up on last time you were there.

Oh and yes we do change our minds just like that. But my situation with my ex finace did not play out the way you may have imagined. I spent months thinking about how much she loved me, and if she would be willing to actually spend the rest of her life with me. But when it came down to her being selfish and not wanting to pull her weight when asked to, I walked away because I knew this would not be something that got better. She was hard wired in our relationship.

If you want to give some more details about your situation I would be happy to comment, otherwise good luck!

Oh and just an update on the dinner with my friend who needed "a shoulder to cry on". I guess she actually just did want to talk, she looked tired and not glamarous as usual... I decided to keep her in friend zone....

Anonymous said...

This is the anonymous Sag Female; thank you sooo much CancerLady, your advice is amazing! It's funny, one of my closest girlfriends is a Cancer, and she gives amazing advice as well! :)

This is to Jay R:

I noticed you give awesome advice, and i would LOVE to hear what you think is going on in my Taurus guy's mind, especially because you're a Taurus. If you have time, please read my first couple comments beginning on april 12th about my situation!! I would really appreciate it if you could help me decifer what my ex's actions/words mean. Thank you so much!

Sagg in distress said...

Jay R you are a god send...thanks for the advice for now I am going to keep my distance until I get my power back ;) I will tell you he keeps calling leaving no voicemail. He has not initiated calling in a long time like this...I think he knows something is different this time for real. And though I am dying to hear what he has to say Im not ready yet to say no to his advances given the change of talking to him. I went out on a date last night and all I thought about was him. I do hope he comes around but if not I'm prepared. Only time will tell. My only fear is that if I continue to ignore him he may go away forever...but still it is not in my best interest to communicate with him now. I'll keep you updated. You are the best...thanks Jay R.

Anonymous said...

Wow! Are they really bad boys? Im one very happy Pisces woman and Im so in love with my Taurus man. We met 3 y ago. He had me at hello. When he said I was the most beautiful woman he ever met I knew my life will never be the same. In the beginning I wasnt sure about his feelings. He acted like he did care for me but then there were those periods of silence. But never too long. Few days only. I was going crazy but I decided not to push him. It worked. After 3 or 4 months he never disappeared again. I was in Heaven. I loved him and I was sure he loved me. But we didnt talk about it. And then something happened. I went for a trip. Sent him several messages, he didnt reply and my world stopped. I didnt smile anymore. After a few weeks I decided to try again. Emailed him. He replied. It was all one big misunderstanding. He got sick, lost his cell phone, I got a new job. Long story. Oh, btw, we had to hide our relationship (I was married then and I have a daughter) so noone told me what happened to him. After several emails, he called me. We talked for hours. Told each other everything. He moved to another country because of his job. That day, 2 years ago, he told me he loved me for the first time. I was surprised and I didnt say anything. But I was so happy! Next day I called him and told him I loved him. From that day my Taurus man never misses opportunity to show me how much he loves me. Im his "beautiful lady" and "the most important person in the world".
Yes, he is jealous and possessive. But I have my ways to show him how much I love him and respect him. We trust each other. We talk about everything. When he doesnt want to talk, I hug him and I dont talk. He appreciates that.
About worship... I dont have problems with that. I adore my Taurus and he adores me. He likes my hair, my eyes, my skin, the way I move, ... He says thank you for every little thing I do for him. He told his parents and friends about me. He loves my daughter.
Harem? He forgot about other women ;) He is mine. Other women didnt forget about him, but hey, he is sexy, I cant blame them.
We both give 100%. And we have big plans for the future.
One more thing... HE LOVES FOOD AND SEX!!! Thats fine with me ;)
Ladies, if you love them, you have to show them. Dance for them, cook for them, make love to them. If they need space, give them space. Dont push them. Everyone needs to be alone sometimes. But, when you're having a bad day, they will be there for you.
Of course, thats only my opinion and I have my pink glasses on (lol). But I also have two great friends born in this sign so I do understand some things.

Btw, Jay R, you give good advices :))

Good luck everyone!

Happy Pisces Woman

Anonymous said...

I still do not get my Bull...I am a pisces lady...it is siz months I am dating this guy, yesterday he went out of his way to take me out,we went to the botanical garden, then to dinner, then he took me to the game...fantastinc day, wonderful evening, sensual night...he left this morning, but before the kiss goodbye, he told me he was going one week out of the states, and that he would call me then....????WTF, after we spend a sensational 24 hrs together, he just said I see you in a week , I just responded :"have a good time"...but I am profoundly hurted....I NEED INPUT thank you

Anonymous said...

To Jay R
From CL

Thank you very much! :D
Off course I have a sword, believe me I'm between the urge to protect him, and to beat the crap out of him :). And he seems similar to you, but you I think you are wiser :). Sorry if I was rude or something.

Ok, I think I understood the story about your ex fiance, and if I have to be down to earth, everyone has every right to change their mind, for whatever reason. As long as you are not presenting your selfish love as real love. And I'm not sure that he is aware of the difference.

Actually I ended it yesterday. He tried to push me to go somewhere with him and his friends and family and I refused. We've been seeing each other casually, to see where I stand with MY :) feelings. But it was to much for me, because I'm still mad and he knows that.
Now I'll wait for a while. If he comes back, I'll accept to negotiate, otherwise it is over. He has to learn to respect me completely. I'm not sure if I'm doing the right thing, I'm just doing how I feel. But the main reason why he is still in my mind and heart, is that I know that when you decide to commit, you are the best boyfriends ever :). But in the mean time it is hard for us, at least for me.

You gave some good advices to me, and to saggs, and thanks again :). I have to say that English is not my native language, so I have troubles to precisely express my thoughts.

So, you don't like interdependent females? :) You should find a sweet Cancer :). Long time ago I was in a relationship with best friend of my cousin, and my cousin told me this: you rule by being submissive, your boyfriend isn't aware that you are actually in charge of the whole thing. So it is win win situation :).

Anonymous said...

To: Jay R & anyone else who wants to read...

Hi, how are you? Maybe your friend already had YOU in "friend zone" that's why she showed up not caring too much about her appearance. You know that was very shallow of you, right? :-)

Based on my personal experiences with Bulls, they are extremely intelligent and talented (at least the ones I've encountered) but when it comes to relationships and the affairs of the heart, they act a damn five year old. Lol. But once they decide on their Queen they are every woman's dream come true.

And remember ladies, if you are missing hours of sleep and find yourself checking your phone every 5 minutes, you are better off without him. Men can only do what you allow them to do and that goes for any sign.

Best Wishes,

Scorpio Queen

Mirror of Aphrodite said...

Ladies if I can weight in here, are you seeing a theme repeated in Jay R's advice?

"We want to explore you because you seem exotic and unfamiliar to us, and then we want to CHASE YOU and CATCH YOU!"

"I mean seriously, he knows that he can dismiss your wishes and flirt with confidence in his texts to you without worrying about offending you......BECAUSE????........ he knows he's got you!"

"You have to let us chase you. I hate being chased . . ."

"play it cool babe"

"I can garuantee you he is chasing someone else at the moment. . ."

I can't stress enough what a turnoff to men it is to be chased. Why? Because Mother Nature has set them up to be hunters. If the roles are reversed, you come off looking desperate and are setting yourself up to be a doormat.

PLEASE STOP BEING THE PURSUER AND LET YOURSELF BE PURSUED!

If a man isn't pursuing you . . he doesn't want you enough to bother. Take the cue and save yourself lots of grief and anquish.

Jay R also gave this advice:

"Treat him like he treats you"

Mirroring behavior is a psychological tactic that works. Men instinctively know and use psychological tactics on women - particularly to test them. Men test a woman for her reaction. They don't have to ask questions and get all "deep" . . they'll pull a stunt on you, watch for your reaction - and it'll tell them all they need to know:

1.) If you tolerate poor treatment, they are instantly aware you'll tolerate more and that - THEY HAVE YOU.

2.) If you don't freak out and get all emotional and play it cool, they'll come forward.

3.) If you play it cool and don't get emotional but pull away from poor treatment, he'll know he can't get away with it and that there are consequences for his bad behavior. (i.e. he doesn't get to see/hear from you) This makes a man respect you and move towards you as you seem VERY different from other women. (i.e. you don't care)

Heed his advice. The reaction you get from a man will speak volumns.

Bottom line ladies: You deserve to be treated well. If you're being disrespected in ANY way, move on because it's a sign of what's to come.

And to my fellow Taurus, Jay R . . . I've been watching your participation here and I'd like to run something by you and see if you're interested. Would you please contact me at mirrorofaphrodite@gmail.com? :-)

Anonymous said...

Well I have an update. Turns out I was right, he doesn't no the difference between selfish and real love, or he just doesn't care. We had a talk, and he did everything to hurt me because I left him (???). He was even trying to insult me. But I'm not stupid, I know who I am, so I listened, asked couple of questions, and completely calm showed him the door. Told him if he ever contacts me again, I will report him, and make his life a living hell. He looked terrible, between rage and crying.

So this is the end with my Taurus, but this, I think, has nothing to do with him being a Taurus, he is just a bad person. More than a year he tried do convince me to be with him, and when that moment was near, and when he supposed to do last big effort, he said some stupid, shallow and disrespectful things.

So good luck ladies with your men, and good luck Jay R with whatever you worry about :)

CancerLady

Isha said...

I'm a taurus female, and my boyfriend of 8 months is a taurus male. Like with every sign, theres positive and negative qualities to consider. It all depends on personal preference and the other planets in the charts. I have heavy cancer influence (moon and mars), making me very emotional, defensive, passive-aggressive, and clingy/needy, possesive. His moon is in gemini, making him appear insensitive, and his venus and mars are in pisces, so i know he feels more than he would like to let on.

I must say, I prefer Taurus males over the other signs. Some I like more than others, I tend to not get along so well romantically with tauruses that have heavy air or fire. But overall, I understand them on the same level that they understand me. And my guy happens to have a sex drive that matches my own insatiable one. ;-)

Anonymous said...

I just want to thank all those who have posted your experiences because it propelled me to stop communicating with my Taurus. This site has been such a huge help! It is hard to share with friends or family these feelings not wanting to seem weak when their perception of you is just the opposite. For me, it was hard to make that genuine move away from my Taurus without going back to the same "ole thing." It is incredibly hurtful to be in love with someone who doesn't choose you. To make efforts beyond any you've ever made with man and get nothing in return. Facing that is hard but so necessary so thanks for this outlet and helping me end this self-torturing cycle:)

Jay R said...

To Sagg Female re: Post April 12th
From Jay R

"help me decifer what my ex's actions/words mean"

Ok first things first. He's not going to be friend with benefits with you EVER if he is in love with you..... WE DONT SHARE.

The thought of being in love with someone and having a casual relationship with them is taboo. I couldnt do it, and I had a similar request from my ex....No! is the answer.

You broke up with him, and then dated someone else, but now he is still talking to you and hanging out with you.....

I have to say, this situation is a curve ball, because he should have moved on by now simply due to his pride and trust having been damaged (taurus trate). You have to ask your self, why do you want him back? Is it because you never got closure from him? Is it because you broke up with him for a reason of which you are unsure? Maybe because he ignored you for a while which you are not used to from a guy, so you are intrigued by him? Or are you simply just in love with him?

We are male's who run like a car, except we are fueled by our pride, the affection and attention that we crave, loyalty from our partners, and love. In his mind, you broke up with him, you dated someone else, you wanted a casual relationship with him... I would say that he is going to have a very hard time being confident and "normal" in a relationship with you.

My advice would be to be honest with him right away. Go to him and tell him you love him and you want to get back together with him and you would like to discuss if this is possible, and if it is, what steps need to be taken. Dont worry, he wont disapear :) I promise. If he is still around after all this time and seeing you as friends, you're not going to loose him... he wants you to have this conversation with him!

Let me kmow how it goes. But tip for the conversaton:

* Put all your cards on the table. Tell him what you want, and tell him you are willing to put in the work to get there.
* Use words like "I see us having a life together" "Our relationsip" "You're the only one"
"I'm yours" "My heart belongs to you".


If he starts brining up the past and his concerns, DONT argue or try and rebutt what he has to say. Acknowledge his concerns, even if they come accross as attacks and continue to tell him that you want to be with him forever...

Remember, he wants to have this conversation with you, otherwise he would not be talking to you. He is just hurt and insecure about you, that's why you are getting this coldish treatment from him.

Good Luck! :)

Jay R

Anonymous said...

To Jay R: (from sag female)

I definitely agree with you about the friends with benefits part. I never realized until a few months ago that maybe he did actually have feelings from me and wanted more, but I wasn't really giving him that option (even though that wasnt even what i wanted!!)

For all of the reasons you asked why I want him back... I have to admit I think it could be a mix of all of those choices! But the biggest reason is because I do love him, and I just feel like I've been in this ongoing circle for 3 and a half years now, and my feelings for him are stronger now than they've ever been before, and it's about time I do something about it!

You're definitely right about him feeling hurt/insecure. When I did tell him I liked him last year, he NEVER responded to me or even addressed what I said at all, even until this day.. but he did show all of his friends my msg (what does that mean.. besides being immature? haha) and his 2 closest friends told him he should be with me, and when they asked if he still liked me, he responded with "whatever, she dated someone else when i still liked her".. he always avoids answering anyone's questions about feelings. Never denies it or admits it. At that point I realized that he was bothered by me dating someone else, and that he never got over it.. even though at that point it had been a year and a half since i began dating someone new.

I really do want to tell him how I feel. As a sag, it's easy for me to express my feelings, but once I've been ignored once, it really hurts me and I'm almost scared to say something again. I think I'm going to wait it out for a bit, but in a few weeks I should definitely say something. This was my intent last year. I thought I would say something, and if he said no, i dont like you, i would move on. if he said, yes i do like you, i would be with him. I was looking to get some sort of ENDING of this cycle. I hope this time I will get more of an answer because this is driving me nuts. He's the only one I want, the only one i love, the only one that has ever made me SOO happy. \

Would you recommend talking to a mutual friend about this? There's this girl who he is good friends with, and for the past year I've had numerous courses with her so we've become very close and i know i could trust her not to say anything to him. Sometimes she mentions his name, or we talk about him, and i can feel her READING my face to see if maybe i like him! I have been thinking about telling her and seeing what she thinks because she knows him quite well and how his personality is at times!

Thank you so much for the amazing advice, you're honestly helping me so much! It's always good to get a guy's perspective :)

Anonymous said...

To Sagg female
From CancerLady

I have to admit that the post from Jay R makes more sense from the one I wrote. I probably projected my story so I haven't seen the obvious :). I'm looking forward to read what have you decided and what happened next :). Keeping my fingers crossed :).

Anonymous said...

To CancerLady
From Sagg Female

Thank you!! I will definitely keep you guys posted. Nothing new has really happened, we talk every other day on average, and we have plans to meet up next week. Also, in a few weeks, he's coming out for my best friends birthday at a club! That has to mean something! :) I don't want to get my hopes up too high yet, but I'll keep you updated :) It'll be a miracle if we can figure out this Taurus! haha

Anonymous said...

Thank you Aphrodite, this is Pisces lady, the one that got "I am going away, talk to you in a week" after an incredible 24 hrs together...he is supposed to come back today....I have not call nor left any message...and when and if he calls today, I will not make myself available...still pretty upset about the stunt, but will not create an accident other than not be available for him. Will let you know how it is going to be played out.

Mirror of Aphrodite said...

@Pisces Lady,
You're on the right track. Men don't respond to talk or emotions (they run from them), but they do respond to action - that's a language they understand and employ themselves.

In your case, and this may be difficult I realize, but I'd mirror his behavior. If and when he does contact you . . . . I'd wait a week to respond. And when you do finally respond, if he asks where you were or why it took so long, don't divulge anything or act upset in any way, shape or form. Play it cool . . ya' know . . like "time flies when you're having fun." "Oh, I didn't realize a week had gone by. I've just been so busy, took a weekend trip with girlfriends, been hanging out with some new friends" that kinda thing.

And chances are . . if you don't respond for a week, he'll be blowing up your phone wondering what the hell is going on. Especially if you usually respond immediately.

Bottom line: Give HIM something to think about. When a woman goes MIA on a man, a weird thing happens . . they can't stop thinking about YOU. (Much like when they disappear for week on you. All you do is wonder what's going on and think about them. That's the effect you want to have here . . )

It's a known psychological fact: People ALWAYS want what it appears they can't have. And your job now is to come off unavailable to him to kickstart that psychological effect with him.

And if it doesn't go this way or you don't hear from him, or he doesn't ask where you've been for a week . . . then you've dodged a bullet here and it's a blessig in disguise. You don't want anymore "Goin away for a week" texts from a guy anyway. WTF is that anyway? Honestly, it appears like a stunt to me, testing for a reaction.

So how will you handle it? JUST LIKE HIM - cool as a cucumber, out having a great time and didn't even notice :-)

Anonymous said...

HELLO ALL IM A PISCES WOMAN ON A RIDE WITH A TAURUS MALE I HAVE KNOWN HIM FOR EIGHTEEN MONTHS HE HAS GONE THOUGH A DIVORCE BEFOR I MET HIM BUT DURNING THE TIME HAS LOSS HIS HOUSE WELL DURNING ALL HIS HARDSHIP I HAVE BEEN THERE FOR HIM FROM BUYING FOOD TO HELPING HIM WITH IS BILLS HE ALWYAS SAY IM A GOOD WOMAN AND HE LOVES ME FOR THAT WELL I DONE ALOT BUT WASNT SURE OF WHAT WAS NEXT SO I DID AS JR SAID AND GAVE HIM SEX AND IT WAS GREAT I KNEW I WAS GOING TO MAKE MY TOUCH JUST RIGHT CUZ HE ALWAYS SAY I LOOK GOOD SMELL GOOD COOK GOOD NOW I DID JUST AS I PLANED AND PUT IT ON HIM HE SAID IM GOING TO MAKE HIM FALL IN LOVE WITH ME WHEN HE WANT'S TO BE ALONE I GIVE HIM HIS SPACE BUT ALWAYS LET HIM KNOW IM THERE WHAT MAKES ME MAD IS THAT A FEMALE WILL GET A GOOD MAN AND DON'T KNOW HOW TO TREAT HIM THEN A GOOD MAN GETS HURT THEN WHEN A GOOD WOMAN COMES ALONG ITS HARD FOR HIM TO TRUST HER BUT HE TELLS ME HE DO TRUST ME WELL MY THING IS DO ONE OF YOU MEN THINK HE IS ALREADY IN LOVE WITH ME HE SAID WE SHOULD TAKE THINGS SLOW AND I WILL HIS TORUBLES ARE NOT ALL OVER SOMETIMES HE GO QUITE FOR A FEW DAYS I KNOW ITS HAD ON HIM OH IM OLDER THAN HE IS I TOLD HIM I HADN'T BEEN WITH A MAN BEFORE HIM AND HE SAID HE COULD TELL IM SO IN LOVE WITH HIM BUT HAVE PREPARED MY HEART FOR ANY HURT SO MALES DO YOU THINK I HAVE REACHED THIS MANS HEART

Anonymous said...

PISCES WOMAN AGAIN HE TOLD A FAMILY HEAD ABOUT ME BUT I HAVENT MET ANY OF THEM AS OF YET HE ALSO SAID WE SHOULD BE TOGETHER ONCE A WEEK BUT I HAVENT SAID ANYTHING ABOUT IT AND HAVENT DONE IT AGAIN ITS BEEN TWO WEEKS I DONT WANT HIM TO THINK IM IN IT FOR HIS SEX SO HELP A WOMAN OUT GUYS THANKS

Anonymous said...

i just want to share my happiness with you all over here i just receive a heart break from my boyfriend 3 weeks ago and i was confuse and i did not know what to do and i almost think of taking my life. But one day i was just doing some research on the Internet when i saw a testimony on how to get your ex back. I really believe that spell do work because my mummy was heal by a spell caster when i was still 15 years old i decided to contact DOCTOR GBOCO for help and he told me what i have to do and after two days i show my ex in my house begging me and ask me to come back to him it was just like a dream to me. thanks to DOCTOR GBOCO you can contact him this Email: gbocotemple@yahoo.com if you need any help or advice in your relationship.

Jay R said...

To: Sagg Female re Post April 23rd
From: Jay R

You closed your post with "It's always good to get a guy's perspective"....

Well, from a guy's perspective, I can tell you that you need withdraw from this situation and as Mirror of Aphrodite and I have stated previously, you need to play it cool and go radio silent for a while.

This guy is not going to be able to get back into this without some alone time to miss you. And remember, that is key! Ignoring him for a month or so, will give him time to hurt for a while, and then anger will turn into, reflection of his actions, reflection will turn into realisation, and then my dear, the plum is ripe for picking!

And dont stress about leaving him alone for a month... If he is in love with you, he will still love you in a month. We love HARD... really HARD! And our past loves have their initials carved on our hearts... always.

I would say talk to your friend if you wish, however a better course of action would be to hit the town for the next 3-4 weeks with friends. Meet some guys, get them to buy you drinks, dance, flirt, cheeky kisses (nothing wrong with that), and find your confidence again. THEN call your man and tell him YOU are ready to listen to what he has to say.... hahahaha I can tell you, he will be eating out of your palms if you play this right!

Keep me posted ;)

Anonymous said...

Dear Aphrodite,

This is Pisces lady, I guess the joke was on me...He came back from his trip and text me he wanted to see me at his place, I said I had something to do ....yesterday he text me saying how sorry he was but he was cancelling a day trip we organized for his BD and that I bought the ticket for as a BD present, the reason was that "others" were organizing something and he could not cancel that one....I did not text anything back...no worth it...I guess I meant nothing to him ...it hurts like hell...it sucks....but it is what it is....

The Mirror of Aphrodite said...

@Pisces Lady,
I'm very sorry to hear that. However, consider yourself lucky. What he did speaks volumns about his character - and also how important you are to him.

Now you know. You don't have to wonder anymore and for that, you should actually be thankful. So turn the situation around in your head and instead of feeling hurt - be thankful.

Either way you slice it, either he was miffed you didn't jump when he "sent" for you and this was a get even type of stunt OR he really is just a thoughtless, unappreciative jackass.

Any way you slice it - neither option is a valuable one.

He has nothing to offer you. He lacks character, compassion or appreciation. There's simply nothing special about him. So don't sweat this one - you dodged a bullet here. It may not feel like it at the moment but this is a blessing for you.

Now . . . but on your best dress, call your girlfriends and head out and have a great time this weekend and find another date to replace him for that event. Forget the deadbeat with nothing to offer.

And NEVER, EVER, EVER respond to another text or call from him again - EVER. Don't give men like that the time o' day. As of right now, he's sh!t on your shoe, shake it off ;-)

The Mirror of Aphrodite said...

@Pisces Lady,
You can also do this . . . I've done something similar before and it works LOL. And I saw an image on Facebook the other day of a woman doing the same exact thing.

Change his name in your phone to "Piece of Shit." Put all the deadbeats in your phone under "Piece of Shit."

Then . . when they contact you again, it'll come up "Piece of Shit" on your phone. You won't know who it is because there are several pieces of shit in your phone LOL.

And then you simply respond by saying, "I have so many men in my phone under "Piece of Shit." So . . which one of my mistakes are you?"

Have fun with this one, he's granted you the key to do so ;-)

Anonymous said...

Im a leo female and met this Taurus male online. We connected almost immediately and shared very intimate things with each other. We fell “in love”. We chatted constantly and skyped as often as we could. He got a credit card so that he could come and spend time with me. He said he wanted to get married to me and I said that we would get married but not anytime soon because I’ve been married twice and I want to be absolutely sure before I marry again because it would be the last time I got married. I have two kids and he has none. He doesn’t want kids either. So anyway we spend five days together and it was awesome, we spoke and connected on all levels, we shared things with each other that we haven’t shared with anyone else. When he went back home tho things started to change. He got more and more distant and eventually said that he cant do this with me because of the kids, he doesn’t want to share a life with kids and he wishes I was unattached. This has left me totally confused. From being hopelessly in love to nothing at all just doesn’t make sense to me. Was everything he ever told me a lie just to get in my pants? Or is he just scared of being a step parent as he believes that he doesn’t have what it takes to be a good parent. We decided to remain friends but I cant do that anymore it’s too difficult. Will he come to his senses and contact me again or has he made up his mind about our future and will I not hear from him again. Any imput will be highly appreciated. Thanks

Jay R said...

To: Leo female
From: Jay R

He has already made up his mind. But I can tell you he didnt say that he loved you to get into your pants. When it comes to love, we can be very compulsive at times. He would have savoured that time he spent with you, and told you things that were from his heart. But when reality hit home for him, he knew he could not be a father and therefore he pulled the pin. At least he was honest in the end and you know where you guys stand.
I would move on. Nothing will change. If you having kids is a problem now, it will just esclate in the future and he will resent you for it.
A common trate about us... yes we do change our minds when it comes to matters of the heart all the time, however not when it is an issue that is life long.

Anonymous said...

Sag Female here, to Jay R. - this might just be the last update I have!

So, it's now Monday, & last week thursday I found out that around new years eve, my ex took part in some sort of interesting gangbang.. I wasn't mad at the fact that it happened, but I didn't see this coming at all and it just made me feel like I don't know him at all, and it made me question everything else about him I thought I knew, including his feelings for me.
I msgd him Thursday night about it, asking if it actually had happened and he said yes, and was being kind of rude about it. He was making stupid comments like "oh what, you're not into that?! those are the best kinda girls" and all i could say was "no". I thought about the whole situation, and I feel as if I can't move on with my life until I find out once and for all how he feels. So I asked him if he could make some time for us to meet up, even for 15 mins just because there were some things I really needed to get off my chest. This was Thursday night, and since then he's been making excuses nonstop about his busy schedule. I know he is busy with work and school, but I don't think it's hard to spare 10 mins of his time, especially when we live not even 5 mins apart. He is being so difficult. I told him yesterday that if he can't spare me 10 mins to talk about something that's extremely important to me, then I'd rather not speak to him again. He hasn't responded to my last msg, so I'm guessing his mind is made up? I don't understand why he can't just make time to hear me out. He'd rather risk our friendhsip, maybe being something more too, all because he's scared of some sort of confrontation. I need to move on, and I can only do that after finding out how he feels. Should I let his actions speak for him, and conclude that he is over me? Help me please!

Mirror of Aphrodite said...

Hi Sag Female,
I'll let Jay R arrive and give his two cents, but after reading your comment, I had to give mine.

STOP all the pursuring of him you're doing immediately!!! Stop contacting him. You got your answer, why are you still questioning his feelings? His behavior, his attitude about it, him throwing rude comments at you over it . . I hate to say this but he's having a laugh at you. You need to STOP now.

And why do you care what a dirtbag like that feels for you anyway? Do you think a guy like that makes a good boyfriend? A good husband? You can't change people, he is who he is and if you continue, he's going to make a fool of you and hurt you more because you're openining yourself up to that by contacting him.

If I heard that about an ex, I'd be so grossed out I'd never give him the time of day again and I certainly wouldn't care what he thought of me, not one bit. And I'd be thinking all kinds of horrific things about him, that's for sure.

You're putting yourself out there to have your ass handed to you by him. Don't do that. You don't need to hear from him how he feels. He's clearly already answered that.

Those type of men do not make good boyfriends or husbands and nine times out of ten, they are selfish lovers as well. It's all about him.

So my advice to you, leave him to himself or you're going to open yourself up to more pain.

And now he knows he's got your number and this is bothering you . . now he's going to toy around and play head games with you.

Don't put yourself out there like that to be mocked, laughed at and ridiculed by a scum bag.

And when you hear the next rumor about him, that he's contracted an STD (which he will definitely do if he's behaving like that) . . you get to laugh at him. Gonorrhea, chlamydia, genital warts, crabs . . these are all right around the corner for him. If he's done this, he'll do it again and has probably done it many times in the past - and someday, they'll be a price to pay for it, you can bet that. And I don't know what age you are or where you live or the conditions of the neighborhoods this is happening in, but I do know that tons of young people are mainlining heroin nowadays. If this chick was a user of some sort or slept with a user somewhere along the line, he could contract HIV or Hepatitis from this kind of behavior.

You need to RUN!!!

Not to mention, he's most certainly probably already carrying and spreading the HPV virus, it's like the common cold of the sex world (men can have it and not ever show a symptom of it, while some develop genital warts as a symptom), which causes cervical cancer in women later in life, the number 3 cancer women face today - and YES, women die from cervical cancer (at young ages) not to mention having to endure horrific operations to cease it's spread throughout your body.

STAY AWAY FROM HIM!!!

This should all be a huge turnoff for you and should make it really easy to put behind you.

Mirror of Aphrodite said...

Sag Female,
I don't want to scare you, but then again, I DO. I want to STRESS THE DANGER in this situation as I don't think you're taking that into consideration at all here.

In addition to the girl who took part in this . . if any of the men that participated in this event slept with a mainliner or previously somewhere along the line with a girl who slept with a mainliner unknowingly. . . man o' man.

This event (and that idiot girl's vagina) was like a giant damn petri dish of infection. And I doubt safe sex was practiced during this event. I can't even bear to think of what all these dumb asses exposed themselves to that night for a bit of fun, the thought of it is mortifying.

Please, please, please Sag Female - RUN from this one as fast as you can! STD's on college campuses are at an all time high not to mention serious ones that are suddenly resurfacing after years of being under control (like gonorrhea and syphillis) because of idiot's behaving like this.

Check out the stats at the Center for Disease control to get a real glimpse of the reality of sex life on campuses and in high schools:

http://www.cdc.gov/std/stats98/98pdf/Section8.pdf

RUN!!

Anonymous said...

This is Sagg Female

LOL Mirror of Aphrodite, your comments were making me laugh so much, and I definitely agree with you and really appreciate your input!!! I'm beyond grossed out by the whole situation, I wouldn't ever want to be with him after hearing about this. Not only is he a total stranger to me now, but he's absolutely disgusting and his whole attitude about everything is such a turn off. I may be hurt now, but I've realized that I need to focus on healing myself. Even if i never got the closure I wanted (to verbally hear it from him), I don't even think it should matter at this point! Hearing what kind of person he has turned into, is closure for me.

I haven't contacted him since Sunday night I believe, and I really don't plan on it. His birthday is on Thursday and i'm not even going to wish him a happy birthday. I want him to realize that i've had enough of this, and that i'm done dealing with this. I've been in this ongoing circle for over 3 years and it needs to stop. He will get what he has coming for him, for sure!

I'm not sure about the history of the girl that was in this "gangbang" but I know that my ex's friends do take drugs. Not too sure about heroine, but I know they do cocaine pretty often.. maybe also heroine!!! Clearly I don't know anything about my ex's life anymore!
Since he thinks girls like that are "fun", i'll let him have his fun. I don't want a guy like that anyways! The more i think about it, the more grossed out I get! I think at the end of the day, its his loss, rather than mine. I really loved him, and all he seems to care about now is to have fun; he's missing out on a girl who would have done probably anything for him out of love. In my case, I think it's evident now that i'm not missing out on anything special. This is a blessing in disguise!

Definitely time to move on.. maybe I did get my closure after all :)

Anonymous said...

To Sagg female

I'm so sorry that things turned out that way. I came here often to read your update because I had a good feeling, but gangbang, wtf??? And that sentence "oh what, you're not into that?! those are the best kinda girls" was meant to be so hurtful and gross (by my opinion) but it was actually so lame. He really doesn't have anything to offer you (except probably std) and he is not going to change. Consider yourself lucky.

Best wishes
CancerLady

Mirror of Aphrodite said...

Sagg Female,
I'm so glad to hear that you're not seeking to speak with him any further. And YES, this is a blessing in disguise, thank your lucky stars for this one!

If those fellas are snorting cocaine, at the very minimum, they're toying with snorting heroin as well. And in a year or so, you may hear rumor of one or more of them mainlining. On the streets they call that "graduating." (i.e. Transitioning from snorting to mainlining.)

These guys are disgusting even though they think they're cool. And CancerLady is right, that comment about "fun" girls was meant to hurt and was cruel. She's also correct in that he has nothing to offer you, not even a warm character or personality. And with all this sexual sharing taking place with him and his buddies, if you bump into him and he tries speaking to you . . me being me, I'd have to snap back by dropping a snarky jab at his manhood, "Hey, me and my girlfriends have been curious, did you take it up the rear that night with your "fun" guys?"

Gesus, what a disaster. Be glad your hands are washed clean of this one!!

Anonymous said...

I am a Aquarius woman & met my Taurus man online. He is witty, charming, funny, & very intelligent. He also works his ass off & protective towards his family. He does not tell me much about it..& Im not sure I should ask much about it. He seems to be starting to ask me about my family a lil more. I just tell him what he wants to know..cause I rarely give out details freely. lol..thats just me. I fell head over heels for him & no matter what i do I can never get his pretty lil words out my head. I dont know if its a con...or he is speaking the truth to me. He tells me things like he loves me, misses me, & wants to keep me forever. I also see his emotional side come out at times. We only had a falling out once..& I thought I was loosing him. It took me a long time to get him back & I do believe he was testing me on my feelings towards him if they were real or not. I am not a very emotional person but I let him know what I felt and what I think he was doing to me. Surprisingly for an Aquarius woman, I can always be aware more than what the damn sun sign says about me. Anyways, we started talking more and got back together. This man values loyalty & trust from what I can gather. He does not trust me fully yet but he does say I am the best woman he has ever met which I was very surprised on that number cause at times I do wonder if hes playing me. He can be the sweetest man at times but I dont buy into the hog wash all the time. I know I have trust issues with men..its just ive been hurt too many times by them. I have been giving this man more trust and putting myself out their more for him. He is the most wonderful man ive ever met. He makes me feel secure and most times i have to earn my security through myself only. If I was going to spend my life with someone..than Id say it would be him. So I guess we just need to learn to trust each other more and see where it goes. Anyways, what im saying is Taurus Men are not that bad & its funny but I will tell you how it is if you keep pushing at my walls. Believe it or not, I am just as stubborn as he is. lol..cute thing is we always find a middle ground & work it out. My Taurus Man to me is the dreamiest man Ive ever met..& I plan on keeping him for as long as I can. Lol..good luck Ladys..& do stand up for yourself occasionally. I did..and it worked.

Anonymous said...

Mirror of Aphrodite & CancerLady

I agree with both of you, that his comments were made to hurt me. Normally he would not say things like that, so i was extremely taken off guard. Sometimes it's best to leave the pieces behind rather than trying to put it back together. It's not worth the pain and confusion i've been going through for over 3 and a half years. Also, I'm definitely not into drugs or smoking anything at all, so his new lifestyle is really not one I want to associate myself with in the first place! It hurts when you think you know someone, and not only do they turn out to be everything they said they would never be, but they're also just a complete stranger you can't even recognize anymore.

After knowing him for a total of almost 5 years, it sucks to put him in my past now, but it needs to be done! He can't verbalize his feelings for me, or be clear about what he wants.. and now this?!!? I think the end has finally come! :) Thank you so much for your advice to everyone who has helped me through this last portion of my dilemma!

Sagg Female :)

Anonymous said...

To Mirror of Aphrodite ( Cancer anonymous from January 28, 2012)
The Taurus came back again! This time pulling out the big guns claiming he was seeing a physcologist and his mom and I are the only ones that know. After a month I didn't say much to him, only that I was there if he needed to talk about it, as I felt bad if he really was having issues. He finally texted me with small chat and showed up at a bar I was going to with my friends. I guess he wanted to show that I was important and wanted me back in his life. After the meeting that night I had a few texts from him in the next coupl of days however he was letting me know some waitress asked for his number, the one served

Anonymous said...

To mirror of Aphrodite part 2...there is a word limit it seems. I'll keep it short.
After his texts about other ppl asking for his number I was responding rudely and we stopped talking. After a few weeks we reconnected and decided to meet up alone. It was a rather confusing convo. He mentioned that he thought we are always going to talk no matter what, he also mentioned how we wants me t cook for him and help host a party with him in the next couple of months. He knows im married! But if course this is all under the "friend" code. He said he will always ave feeling for me and that won change. He is willing to put it aside to be my friend and spend time with me. He also said that he isn't ok with us Not talking, however if I think it's best we don't he will respect my decision and never text me again. I wasn't sure how to process all of this. We left it as being friends. He was very flirty with me, sexual innuendo and all. So I took it as he just wants to sleep with me. After a week I. Called him and told him my marriage is actually ending and that I am interested in being intimate again and that these are not truly platonic feelings on my end. (I wanted to be honest and didn't want to play games-we were intimate before) he said he wants to as well, but only if and when my divorce s final. He doesn't feel right if it's currently in the separated state and is worried if I get back together with my husband. (this is someone btw that has many women on the side) so the fact that there is ths demand from him I find incredibly odd. So either he is really interested in being with me officially or he wasted all this time to reel me back in so I can admit to my feelings only to reject me again. I asked him directly if there was a social girl in his life and gets why he isn't interested , he said no that I don't have to worry about that and that he is okay to wait a few months fr my situation to be resolved.
So what do you think? Could there be truth to any of this?

Thank you!

Anonymous Cancer

Sagg in Distress said...

Jay R/Aphrodite Bull

I am so missing my Bull and have pretty much stuck to my guns of letting it go with the exception of reaching out to let him know someone close to me had passed away. He responded with telling me I am in his prayers, asking what he can do, and if I need anything let him know. I miss him terribly but am really trying to keep my commitment to not looking back and moving on knowing as you said Jay R. he does not want a relationship with me.

He did text and ask if I preferred him not to contact me anymore after my telling him not to and this time his tone was serious none of that "your wishes suck or I will continue to contact you" stuff. In response I told him yes and no its complicated. He told me if I tell him to stop he will and if I don't he won't its in my hands. Finally, I said I am trying to will myself to say "yes" but am not there yet and its really the truth. I know, I know, I should have said a definitive yes but just am not there YET. At least this way if there is further contact he would have to initiate. I'm feeling like such a wimp right now and just had to share with somebody. I've got to move on from here emotionally and its incredibly hard because I feel I really am in love with him:(

And oh by the way Jay R. every time he has texted me since I told him I love him he starts with "Thank you Love or How are you Love, or Good Morning Love"...but at least now I know its just the gift of gab and even told him if nothing else one thing he is is CLEVER. He asked me what I meant by that and I just told him his wit is all.

Any words of advice would be helpful...and yes, I'm dating but still think of him constantly and all this working out I've been doing to relieve this stress is giving me a great body; at least something good is coming out of this.

Anonymous said...

I am a Scorpio Woman in a Friends with Benefits relationship with a Taurus Male who now has a Girlfriend! Stuck inside tonight due to weather, I am searching the internet for insight into my Bull's head. Even though I am not a "Dark Scorpio", I still like to have the power of knowledge! I have read most of these comments, and I must say that Jay R is going to attract quite a following with his impeccable self-awareness, witty commentary, and blunt advice! I just hope none of us are members of the same harem! ;o)

Thank you for sharing!

Scorpio Fatale

Anonymous said...

Wagner music is depressive, as the state I am in.

Caught in an unsolvable equation, I am in love with my Taurus, and yet I know I can never have him.vproblem is, he knows it too.

I'm married, and 16 years older. Up against his slimmer, younger girlfrend, who equally knows how to play the game.

So I admit, I had become one of his harem, after he viciously seduces me, with me thinking we were just being best buddies, and straight to best lovers.

And while he steals my heart, he keeps in his cupboard, takes it out whenever he feels like it, then makes me ache again.Then puts it back, closes the cupboard an leaves me in darkness.

Oh how I want to be free. But how do you free yourself from the memory of those haunting eyes, which you thought said "I love you too".

But of course - he never did.

So its all in the mind you see. Taurus men are great manipulators. They know exactly when to tug the strings, just when the blade of the knife is about sever the ties... they reel you back into that gaze.

So - an eternalhood of being trapped in that gaze, the longing for more, the greed for thier attention, the desire for their heart.

So - if you have a chance - the chance to run away, then run ... run so fast and so far.

Because if you remain thier possesion, you are possesed always.

Sag female

Anonymous said...

Please offer me some advice Taurus males!
I'm an Aries female and my first love was a Taurus man. From the moment we met his friends told me he was attracted to me. He pursued me for almost a year, we talked non-stop via texting, im and other forms of communication. I was with him every weekend. After months of this, we were both still a little uncertain of each others true intentions until one day he told me he loved me. From then, we dated for about 5 months. We broke up because of our arguments, often it'd be small things but it grew out of hand and despite the love we had we parted ways. There was a lot of hate from him, he cut me out, I chased for a few weeks then we got back together and broke up again. We weren't amicable; it was about 6 months after our breakup he re-entered my life. I was certain I was over him.

We had both dated people since one another but we both admittedly knew we never 'loved' our significant others the way we loved each other. We still had the odd argument but whenever we were together there was fireworks. It was hard, I couldn't trust him again although his affections never faltered. He became the same person he was when we dated. He could recall everything about me, he would improve all his habits that I disliked to show he was becoming a better man. However the girl he dated after me was quite broken, she manipulated her way back into his life (She started a fight with me in public, cried at his doorstep, chased him endlessly each time she heard he was with me) so I pushed him out after I was hurt by her. I told him to be with her and once again he dated her again for another month.

It was about a month ago - he had broken up with her for several weeks, he came back into my life. He has tried hugging me and holding me and getting close again and I'm scared. I always fall for his charms and I'm so unsure of his intentions for me. I was with him just yesterday and he took a nap on my lap, he often finds ways to just hold me, touch my hands. I'm trying to be friends with him however we are no where near 'normal' as friends. Friends don't kiss or cuddle or touch like this. He mentions our past and is still possessive especially when his other male friends show me attention.

So TMs.. How do you deal with a taurus ex that comes back? What are his intentions? Does he still like me in any way or form ; because logically this is the only plausible explaination..?

Anonymous said...

I am a cancer and I was with a taurus man for 5months but I knew him for 4 years prior. That man used and abused me till I couldn't take anymore. He cheated on me with 3 different women and used to put his hands on me....the sex was phenomenal but was so not worth all the drama I went through. That was 3 years ago and I've yet to get into another relationship. At the moment another Taurus likes me and I like him but I'm just plain scared and I don't know if I will be able to move forward....I don't want to be manipulated and worried all the time I want to have trust and feel safe. I really have no idea what to do

Antoinette King said...

I am a Scorpio woman who recently had an…interesting experience with a Taurus man. I met this guy nearly a year and a half ago, and he automatically came on really strong. And when I say ‘automatically,’ I mean within two hours. At first, he was extremely charming and gracious, and came on really strong- asking me questions about myself, paying attention to how I dressed, flirting, touching me, running to catch up with me in the streets, dropped hints about wanting to be exclusive, talked about marriage and family, etc. I responded to him quite well, but being a Scorpio, I do have trust issues and my instincts were telling me to maintain my emotional distance.

After a few weeks of this and not making a move forward, he began playing the jealousy game with me. He would always be talking to some other girl when I walked into a room, he would drop a few names, and he even ‘accidentally’ called me by the wrong name a couple of times. I served his treatment back to him on a platter. Meanwhile, my gut was telling me that something was extremely wrong. So- in the manner of Scorpios- I began my research on his life, background, tastes, and reputation. I established contacts in his old workplaces and high school and what I found absolutely shocked me.

He was the BIGGEST whore this planet has probably ever seen, and he’d had literally DOZENS of fan club members and was rumoured to have had sex with most. He still kept in contact with all of them, in addition to having profiles on over five dating websites. He’d added more than THREE HUNDRED sl*tty women in total. I actually created a few fake profiles on those websites and friended a bunch of his friends (randomly selected) to ask them about him and a few other guys I pretended I was interested in. Even though there were more than a THREE HUNDRED, he seemed to know every single one in person (or maybe I just picked the few he did know). And there were other things, too- several events very similar to the ‘gangbang’ mentioned above somewhere…

(At this stage, I was so glad that I hadn’t become emotionally involved with this guy. But what I found out about him was still so disgusting though that I actually threw up one evening. But Scorpions have an incredible amount of pride. Too much to get played like this without wanting to extract at least a pound of flesh, and often we want more than that.)

So I began bringing in homemade lunches every day to work, and I always made sure they smelt good. I began wearing a lot of musky perfumes, and took even more care with how I looked- elaborate formal hair every day, and dressing up often in pale blue, girly clothes because I heard that they appeal to Taurus guys. I also come from an extremely musical family, so I began showing off my skills with a bunch of instruments. I noticed instantly after all these things started that he began paying much closer attention to me and complimenting me more frequently and become even more flirtatious.

Antoinette King said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
Antoinette King said...

This continued for a few months. Meanwhile, I met a Scorpio man who became very interested in me, and I in him- but that’s another story.

So after some time, my TM actually asked me out. I was very surprised, but I told him that I was going away for a month to visit my cousins- which was true. While away, I did some more research and found out he had some old high school friends I then decided I wanted to meet. After I returned, my TM didn’t ask me out again. I think he was waiting for me to do that. I then casually met one of his old friends one day and got to know that my TM did indeed once used to have a girlfriend.

(It was around this time that my Scorpio guy- to whom I’d disclosed the details of this business with the TM- decided to ask me out.)

It turned out that he was still with her, but it was a long-distance relationship. I tracked that girlfriend down and saw an extraordinary piece of luck- she was an Aries. I generally love Aries people, don’t get me wrong, but they are pretty explosive when they’ve been crossed.

I then talked to the Aries about her boyfriend- the poor thing, she actually believed him till then. We then agreed for her to come down in a few days. I asked out my TM myself, and he agreed. We went to a restaurant where his Aries girlfriend was waiting for us, and she gave the dramatic scene I really wanted to see.

Anonymous said...

There is nothing said about a taurus male and capricorn female in this blog, I have been dating a taurus for almost two years now. He is the most romantic, most reliable and most warm-hearted man I have ever dated. I think the match between the two of us is perfect because once dating a capricorn it is always an ongoing challenge and capricorn woman dont easily let their guard down, therefore the taurus male is always intrigued by this and never gets bored. I have expressed my feelings to him long when we started dating and we are still considered the happiest couple by others, I believe he is the man of my dreams we have spoken about getting married and having children and I just cant wait to spend the rest of my life with my taurian male

I wonder why ther isnt any of comments about about taurus and capricorn??? Match made in heaven I suppose

Anonymous said...

Hello,
I just want to thank this blog a million, trillion, times because I read it when I first met my Taurus Man. I used the tips and tricks provided here to get him to be mine. I am a Scorpion woman and I just want to say that we are a perfect match made in heaven. I love him so very much but he loves me even so much more. He is so passionate, so loyal, funny, determined, responsible and I can just go on & on. I really want to thank everyone who posted a blog here. I am soo happy with this man and we are married now just within a year of us dating. Just always remember that let a Taurus man always chase you and never the other way around :)

Anonymous said...

my Taurus man (46 years old)have broke up with me by email 4 month ago due to he is not happy with his life, and depressed, also he was not sure our relationship, he had hard life past few years( with job, health and relationship), I have dated him for 15 mons, it is sweet and loving relationship, as I am 43 years old Libra woman, I am very caring and support him during his hardest time last yer, he broke with me in email,and said he adore me and don’t want loose me as dear friend, but he just cannot handle relationship…I know I might unintentionally pushed him to next level relationship… but last 4 months, I really lost…I thought he just have bad time, I would waiting for him when he feel better, I love him dearly, I want to have future with him, but he send all kind mix signal, even slept with me after break up , then I found out he is online dating now( he told me that he is just dating, no GF), I felt be used and really sad and angry… as much I want ask him for other chance, I wondering if he will come back to me…
I thought Taurus man is good man, now I am all lost… any suggestions?

I am Libra woman

Anonymous said...

I am a Gemini woman, head over heels in love with my Taurus man. He is by far the most sensual, loving, considerate, compassionate man I have ever had the pleasure to be with. He tells me everything I need to hear when I need to hear it. We had so many fate/destiny things happen to bring us together, it feels unreal. Everything I read above is true. He thrives off of the adoration I show him, but you know what, so do I. There was another Gemini who blogged on July 18, 2011 and she hit the nail on the head. Just gotta be quicker than they are, for us, that is a no brainer and is in no way difficult. However, I need to add that I have a different approach when my Taurus man's eyes stray. I tell him to go and get her for us to enjoy together. That's just me and I know that it wont work for most. I know that I am his and he is mine. It works well for us. Lol, he isnt going anywhere anytime soon. I do know that it is possible that we will separate someday, I will never be blinded enough to forget that. I am happy to have him for as long as I can. He has taught me patience and how to love. Things as a Gemini I was completely incapable of. I have not seen the hot and cold everyone is talking about. Only the hot. It's amazing! He most def drew me in, and yes, he has me in the palm of his hand. I like being there and intend to enjoy every second I get. It didn't take the months or years that the other post's described. It was intense the second we laid eyes on each other. Oh, I'm sure he has some sort of agenda, who doesn't? I am happy to let him take charge, planning to me kills freedom. If I don't like something, I tell him dipped in chocolate, he eats it up and thanks me. I do have to remind him that if he wants anything, he has to tell me. When he tells me he wants something, I immediately make sure he gets whatever it is. We feed off of each other. Enjoy what you have while you have it. Learn new things from every person you encounter. If it is meant to be, it will be. No need to push, bulls wont move an inch anyhow, you're exhausting yourselves rather than enjoying them. Always and Forever - Gemini

The Mirror of Aphrodite said...

To all the gals here suffering from the "disappearing man" act,
Rather than repeat myself here again and again, I decided to write a piece strictly dedicated to this popular dating phenomenon - and how you should handle it.

It is my hope that it will prompt lots of interesting discussions and provide a place for all you gals to lean on one another for support and strength.

So here it is, ladies: http://www.aphroditeastrology.com/2012/06/disappearing-reappearing-man-what-to-do.html

I hope this helps.

Sagg in Distress said...

After going 6 months without seeing my Bull and feeling rejected yet having difficulty in letting go, we met yesterday at a bar and grill. Though I hoped I would feel nothing, he was still the same sweet, sexy, and alluring man from when we first met. DAMN! I still want him!

I kept my cool though the entire time I was a little nervous, butterflies, after being away from him for so long. We actually enjoyed our time together. The most amazing thing was what he revealed the following:
1) that he cares sincerely for me and that's why he keeps in contact via text...does not want to lose the connection. Has not seen me in 6mos because he doesn't feel he is ready for me would want me to look up to him and be proud of him because of the woman he views me as. Stated that the only way he knew how to deal with this was to run from me.
2)During this absence he has started 2 businesses outside of his 9 to 5 and is reading self-help books on how to be more expressive because he realizes he is so closed. Feels that he connected with me on so many levels but could not keep it going because it required more disclosure and is not there yet.
3)Would never want to hurt me because he doesn't meet the bar in a relationship.
4)Said at one point he felt I was trying to "push him into a relationship" and that pushed him away even more. I responded that was correct that I became the "convincer" and just didn't want to lose him. It was not the correct response but felt if I didn't our connection would dissipate. He somewhat agreed but said he would have reached out to me for sure at some point.
5)Last thing---I asked him why he won't act on my sexual advances and he admitted he wants too so badly but not for casual but for relationship...he wants to be ready for it all saying I'm not like the women he periodically sleeps with as a single man. They know he is not interested, will not be, and it is simply sex. He states that's also why he stayed away because when around me its hard for him not to touch me knowing I've been abstinent for a long time (2.5yrs only 4 men I've slept with ever). Said he wants it to be right when/if it happens.
I was so impressed with our conversation, his honesty and how comfortable we both were the more we tlaked. We ended our time together without making future plans but I was good with that. He kissed me and we said our goodbyes.

It was nice.

Anonymous said...

im a pisces and my boyfriend is a leo, first guy i was ever fuly attracted to.after the relatinship began, i love him to bits but i keep getting attracted to taureans. running into them, talking, liking them nd finding out later that they are taureans, ive never loved a taurean, i like them. but the attraction is so much that, once a taurean becomes friends with me, they never leave, they are drawn to me in every way and i am drawn to them. :( i dont know what to do. keeping my distance makes me wana talk to them more. help!!

Mirror of Aphrodite said...

@Anonymous,
Taurus/Pisces? No real shocker there's a magnetic connection there . . . Taurus/Pisces are very compatible ;-)

Anonymous Sagg (1of 2) said...

Aphrodite Bull I emailed to my Bull the following after a lot of prayer and supplication:
"I had a lot of time on my hand last night trying to calm down while waiting for my flight so this was how I spent that time. I’ve wanted to say something to you for the last few weeks but the words didn’t come together until last night. I decided on email because you know how I go on and on with my stories before getting to the point and you hate that Lol.

When we first met I think we both can agree that we had a unique connection, chemistry and our friendship was nice THEN suddenly you pulled away essentially cutting me off and in response I made ALL the wrong mistakes...then you pulled away BIG time…and I FREAKED out…it got WORSE.

At first I wanted to kick myself for messing up what I felt could have very well developed into something special but now I just simply want to share this with you with NO EXPECTATION AT ALL (and that feels nice). See you’re not the only one with issues and the desire to improve. I have a new sense of awareness and am seeing my behavior and interactions in a new light. It took long enough Lol but I admit it feels great to really become conscious of your own thinking, feelings, and behaviors and how they affect those special in your life when they really MATTER, in this case, that’s you. It’s weird for me to share such intimate revelations about myself with you but for some reason I feel you should know this. It goes back to that unique connection I felt we had in the beginning and why I didn’t react as I normally do which would have easily been to walk away, move on and not look back and say the hell with him especially with he’s the one cutting me off for no reason BUT again with you it’s different.

Enjoy this because one of my new revelations and awareness is to STOP TALKING to you about the mistakes I made.

What I really wanted then and want to now is to communicate to you that all that talking was my bad attempt to let you know I was okay with you wanting/needing space, understood you were not ready for a relationship and supported you 100% with getting your grind on and self-improvement goals…I just didn’t want you to DISAPPEAR from my life completely. But you did and in way still have. I guess at that time the other thing I wanted from you was to know what you thought of me…hear me clearly not how you felt about me but what you thought of me.

INSTEAD of getting the right reaction from you and drawing you closer I invited just the opposite from you. Feeling hurt, scared, and uncertain with you and now terrified about what you thought about me, I acted overly emotional, sometimes upset, even insecure… did ALL the things that were unattractive to you pushing you further away. When I saw the damage that my behavior had done I went from feeling bad to worse and got avoidance rather than friendship from you. This is where you felt that “pushing from me” you mentioned at Taco Mac and I admitted to when pushing you into a relationship was not my intent. Like you admitted running away from me when you felt I was special was the wrong reaction I did the wrong thing too. Simply put, I just wanted you around, someone I could go out with sometimes, share things with, get to know better, cook for now and again (you know I like cooking for those special in my life), smooch with and get to know more intimately letting time take its course mature enough to know “ what will be will be.” Like I attempted to explain at Taco Mac I wanted to keep the connection with you while you were off doing your thing. (Continued on next comment)

Anonymous Sagg (2 of 2) said...

Continuing I said:

"Even though things are very different with us now and I still desire you more importantly, I am happy to have stopped the madness LOL….which was finding myself losing composure way too often, letting my emotions take over and regretting it too often after the fact! Having really enjoyed our time together at Taco Mac, I would really like to rekindle that connection we once had and hope you are open to that too. But now that I am taking the time and the steps to take care of what's going on INSIDE of me first, I know things will just fall into place with the right responses, right attraction, right situation, and the right relationship.

As an afterthought, I think I’ve shared this with you because it was you-the good and not so good of you- that compelled me to look deeper inward. Your easy and always composed demeanor diabolically mixed with that Bull I cannot be moved will not let you in but so far behavior pushed me to look at things introspectively. I guess I should thank you for that. Despite everything, I am so glad to have met you, would never take it back and am glad we still have some semblance of a friendship. That’s what I wanted to say. I only ask that you let me know once you have read this."

In response he texted me the following at 7am the next morning:
"I read your email and I think it was spot on! I am very honest with myself about certain things and that's why I told you how I felt about us. I knew it wouldn't make you happy initially but I also know it would help our relationship if you would just let it happen naturally. I know it may not seem like it but I come to my senses after a while baby! "

I was somewhat happy after reading his response hopeful it meant he plans to come back to me but am not sure. What does it mean? Has he been trying to better himself for me to come back? Please tell me what his response means....Thanks

Anonymous said...

I'm a Virgo and I got really lucky. I'm in a relationship with a Taurus and he's been nothing but sweet and caring. I mean sure, it took a loooooong time, but Virgos are great at patience. Maybe my man is just different, I mean he does have some characteristics, however, hes just different. He's not this dark and shady character, once we took it to the next level, and he felt secure in our relationship, he really opened up. He was honest, he didn't and wasn't going to trust me right away. He does now because he knows I'm not going anywhere. If you hang in there and are in it for the long run, it'll work. If it didn't there was a reason for it.

Mirror of Aphrodite said...

@Anonymous Sagg,
Hmm, I dunno about this one. First of all, I see what you were attempting to do with him but honestly, I think you're sharing way too much of your feelings and emotions with him and I imagine he finds this quite complicated and overwhelming. I'd suggest you read this piece on this site:

http://www.aphroditeastrology.com/2012/06/disappearing-reappearing-man-what-to-do.html

And when your finished, you may even want to check out this piece:

http://www.aphroditeastrology.com/2012/06/dating-what-does-it-mean-when-he.html

Because if see any of the behavior referenced in those pieces taking place in this particular relationship, then you need to protect yourself here.

You're giving him too much reassurance. In turn, he's becoming overwhelmed (which will cause him to pull back) and he's loosing motivation to move towards you (because you're giving him so much reassurance about your feelings towards him that he no longer feels he needs to do anything or try to win you over, he's already got you right where he wants you.)

So to answer your question, what does his response mean? I'd say it means he's still in the game, but may be stringing you along. Your answer will come in time - via his behavior. If he's serious about this and about you, he'll come forward and make attempts. If he's stringing you along, he'll just keep talking about it - but he'll never take any action towards you. Men can say anything and they will resort to doing so to get the upper hand. It's his ACTIONS that you need to watch closely. If he says this and then disappears for another week or so, he's not taking action (i.e. he's stringing you along and telling you what you want to hear, but isn't going to DO anything about it.)

Start by reading those two pieces on the site referenced above and I think you'll be able to see what you need to do here to protect yourself and make sure you don't get strung along.

I hope it helps. . .

Anonymous Sagg said...

@Aphrodite Bull's response:

Indeed the links helped as well as your response above. You have told me once before in previous posts that I share too much emotion and I agree. When I fall in love which has only happened once before in my life unfortunately I do that. This time though it came from a different place. There was not hidden agenda or secret motive.

I simply wanted to reconcile my misunderstood actions with him because I felt so misunderstood by him. I had to do that before walking away.

More than that, I left it open for him to move toward me again if he chooses but made it clear that I am in a different place now and sincerely believe that the right relationship will fall into place for me whether it's HIM or NOT.

Though I love him deeply I am walking away. If he wants me he has to come and get me. He texted yesterday wanting to know what I was doing and said that he will see me very soon. I texted back "ok" nothing else. I don't know what happened inside of me but something good changed how I relate to him.

As far as your blog "Dating Men: What Does it Mean When He..." What I got that is applicable to my situation is to IGNORE HIM creating DISTANCE. Even more what I got from the site was confirmation that my new state of awareness is a good place to be in case he is in fact stringing me along and does not follow-up with ACTION my heart is protected.

Thanks Aphrodite Bull for all the "Pro-Bono" LOL counseling you have given me and the rest of the women on the site:)

Anonymous said...

I dont think any Taurus dude is worth all this heartache---so many other men out there!!!
Its not that serious...let the Taurus be alone!

pisces woman said...

i agree with the above taurus male have so much game its not worth it and ladys dont be little urselves for someone to make a fool of u . i told my taurus male goodbye today and he hurry up to answer me back but i didnt give him no return answer i can have someone to love me cuz im a damn good woman and he sure wont find on like me so get to seaching and now i feel damn good i know he will return and when he do its no telling what he will find. today also some one that i walked away from five months ago popped up on my step like a lost puppy . why? CUZ whoever he went after wasnt as bad as i am so the taurus will get the same .He left word with a family member for me to call as of yet i havent i guess a wk would be good and as all know he will want to see this sexy pisces woman with the bedrm eyes and please belive its on i demand and will be RESPECTED.So work like a real man will do for a good woman ttyl

Anonymous said...

So, yes, as a sensitive & passionate cancer - I had my 1st taste of a Taurus man. It is all true what the other posts say. I play no games, went after him. Yes its magnetic. Yes it is good, even great. But worth it, not so much. Not if u know what you want. They will entice you, seduce you, then disappear only to return. Wondering what "your problem" is. Needless to say, if a man, especially a Taurus male makes me ? Myself- no mattress how irresistible he may seem- Squash it! It will not get easier:)

the virgo woman who is the Prize! said...

Pisces woman...I am a Virgo woman ( I wrote the above post) and I agree with everything you stated..I demand respect and love--thats it...if you do I will be yours forever----the moodyness--the stubborness and BULLshit--the Taurus can save that for some other lame woman...The BULL does not scare me in the least bit...I stopped talking to my taurus man today---felt so good and empowering-giving him the silent treatment--I have so many dudes waiting to be by my side its crazy----I am an amazing woman...Im a very hard act to follow...so we will see how the tides turn...

Taurus men come across to me as very insecure--always want to control someone or something because they are insecure...and the best thing they have going for them is their work ethic and looks..they are not the most intelligent men...the sex is what keeps most women with them--but aint no d*ck that good for me to tolerate the craziness they bring...this was my first taurus and will be my last....lol
I know he will come crawling back they all do..ladies they all do!!!

pisces woman said...

haha virgo lady u r so right they all come crawling back i told u about the aquarius male that stoped at my house on yesterday well he some how found my nunber that he never lost and called me first thing this morning telling me how sorry he was if he hurt me in any way i told him im stronger that u think if i wasnt i wouldnt have just walked away and thats what the didnt think was going to happen no contact with him in5 months cuz i pay my own way i dont need a man to play games with me if i dont ask him to play as for the taurus male soooo like him but i have to give him the boot also i tell u one thing a man know when he has a good woman and dont want to lose her so i be good to them then when they want to cut there a** then fine poof im gone so ladys pick up ur big girl pants and b strongnever make a man think u will b lost without them virgo lady do ur thing im soooo proud of u

the virgo woman who is the Prize! said...

Proud of you as well Pisces woman...a Woman has to know her worth...and I know mines!!!

Anonymous said...

I'm a Capricorn and I'm dating a Taurus. This actually helped me a bit. Especially because I knew that before we started dating, he was actually trying to get with an other girl. But it seemed like she was putting too much work for him...

Honestly, though, he is the first person I have actually felt good about. I'm just hoping I don't mess it up.

Anonymous said...

I'm a Capricorn woman and I was dating a Taurus man for 9 months, he started getting really jealous of my guy friends. He didn't even want to let me go to prom with a gay guy friend ( he didn't want to be my date) So he ends up breaking up with me because i ended up going. We still talk and text everyday..until I started being really busy and he would want to hang out and I wasn't able to /: I wanted to cause I wanted things to workout between us! Then he told me he didn't want to talk to me anymore. He was my greatest and longest relationship and nothing big really happen to ruin what we had, except jealousy. Well the problem now is that he started talking to me again, but he wants to do intimate things with me. I honestly didn't mind cause I wasn't seeing anyone. He has me confused though cause he wont let me move on if he doesn't want to be with me why does he give me mixed signals. He also gets mad when I bring up the moving on subject. I really don't know what to do , should I move on or keep trying with him..?

Mirror of Aphrodite said...

@Anonymous Capricorn,
Move on. If you don't, you could be stuck in this loop of his uncertainty forever. He could be emotionally immature (serious jealousy) and emotionally incapable of real feelings.

And now that he's reappeared, you need to read the article here titled, "Disappearing Reappearing Man: What To Do" (http://www.aphroditeastrology.com/2012/06/disappearing-reappearing-man-what-to-do.html)

Do NOT jump right back into this where you left off.

Sagg in Distress-Update said...

Aphrodite Bull I received and email from my Taurus after thanking him for responding to my long email. I'd like to know what you think about this. This is what he said:
"Thanks Mia i really do appreciate what you have already done for me and the fact that we can be friends no matter what means a lot to me. I am very much open to rekindling the connection am not against it all. I told you before i think you're a great woman and i could totally see myself with you but i have to be ready for you as well. It has nothing to do with women i just have had other things to try and figure out but i will talk more to you about that one on one. Nothing major or that bad but i have to make sure i am not running away from things that need to be handled you feel me. Again thanks and i hope this answers your question as I was probably not as clear in my previous email(am sure you will want more though! lol)"

I don't know what to do. Should I consider holding out for him? confused.

Mirror of Aphrodite said...

@Sagg In Distress,
Well, I think he's being very honest with you, but I'm not sure you're understanding what he's saying. And what he's saying is that he's not ready. He's feeling pressured and he's still uncertain. Other things may be more important to him than a relationship right now.

Bottom line with men, if they don't say YES, then they're saying no. He's not saying yes, he's saying maybe someday. Which to me, translates to no right now.

Read between the lines here. He says, "I hope this answers your question." And he says, "I am sure you will want more though."

He's feeling pressured and interrogated. He knows you want more than he can give right now and he's not prepared to give it. He feels obligated to respond to the questions being tossed at him (which isn't a good thing if you read about obligation in the article here, "Disappearing Reappearing Man" - obligation decreases lust in men. They like fiesty, fiery women who act unpredictable and provide a challenge. When a man starts to feel obligated to someone, he'll love them like a sister, not a lover.

I honestly think you should cease initiating communication here because you're pursuing him by doing so. If he responds to a communication from you, don't respond back to try and keep this going. You need to understand that he needs space and in a round a bout way, he's asking nicely for it.

I wouldn't hold out for him. His feelings do not appear to be that strong right now and he's uncertain and not ready. It could be 5 years before he's ready. Who wants to wait around years for someone to be ready for a relationship with them?

This line says a lot from him, "I'm sure you'll want more though!" See what he's saying there? You want more (than he does). He knows it, he's feeling pressured, he's not ready and he's uncertain.

That said everything you needed to know.

Sagg in Distress said...

@Aphrodite Bull's Response:

Wow! My interpretation of that text was WAYYYYYYYYYYYY OFFFFFFF! This is helpful of course but also a bit disheartening.Nonetheless, I'm really ok with it and would rather avoid getting exciting over nothing.

Surprisingly, he has been initiating texts with me a lot lately and perhaps its because of what you suggested above regarding that "feeling of obligation." Though this "sister" feeling is not at all what I want him to think of me as I think after a few months of no contact via text, in person, or phone I really could be just his friend. He is a good person and a very honest one I think.

Our relationship has been mutually productive in that I'm benefiting from him in that he has taught me to a certain extent to calm down and be more patient something very foreign to the spontaneous and impatient Sagg.

I will just see what happens. BTW I did tell him last week that I was going to not text as much as not to affect his focus and he told me "I don't need that much space nor do I want that much space from you."

We'll see...

Sagg No Longer in Distress said...

To Aphrodite Bull-

It happened exactly as you said it would in your last response to me---My Taurus Crush Disappeared and Without a Word. Just out of the blew one day he was making dinner plans with me and the next he wouldn't respond to any of my texts...just cut me off. Had it not been for your "Warning" I'd be more baffled than I already am. It's over for good this time and I would be lying if I said it didn't hurt...it does..but time heals all wounds and that gives me comfort. One thing for sure---I will never date another Taurus----way too much work and for what-Disappearance. Thanks for the warning Aphrodite Bull...took a little of the sting away:)

Anonymous said...

I'm Aries girl with sag rising & moon in cancer. I met a Taurus guy on my birthday & we've been hanging out ever since. The thing is I can't seem to get a handle on him and I’m usually good in doing so with anyone I generally meet but with this one it's a bit harder than I thought it would be. He has some sort of wall up, which I understand. it’s as if he’s observing me from a distance

This is what I’ve come up with so far….

It’s a grey area with us….we’re not a couple but yet we act like it. I love my freedom just as much as he does but at times it can get a bit suffocating. He’s totally marked me as his territory. He’s made it hard for me to date/hang out with other guys. We hang out so much with each other that whenever they see him the expect to see me as well & the same way around.

he says some of the strangest things at times and can be mean, insensitive, moody & selfish as well. On the flip side he could be so sweet, loving and considerate. it’s truly is a roller coaster ride at times

Help...

Anonymous said...

hello all i need help with this taurus male i have known for two yrs now. Well i havent texed him in almost a month and yesterday he tx me saying Hi from a unknown number the told me he got a new fone and all but i act as if i didnt care anymore but deep down i was so happy he had .Well at one time i would blow his fone up but reading about this has helped me alot .So my question now is should i tx him now or wait a wk or so. thanks bull friends

Mirror of Aphrodite said...

@Anonymous,
I wouldn't want to appear to eager with him since he's already disappeared for a month. So I think I'd wait at least 2-3 days if not a week before responding.

In the meantime, you may want to read this piece here if you haven't already:

http://www.aphroditeastrology.com/2012/06/disappearing-reappearing-man-what-to-do.html

Sagg in Distress-Update said...

Aphrodite Bull

Needless to say he has reappeared. He showed up upset and angry that I thought he had cut me off when he had not. Professes he was just hanging out with his daughter taking her back and forth to visit his side of the family before he has to take her back to her mom for school starting. Stated I think I get it but I don't get it at all and that he has done nothing wrong to me. After going on and on he ends with he had hoped to see me again but I've obviously mad my decision, thinks I'm great and wishes I will continue to do big things. I responded with "I will...you too." Then he says "your so mean!" and later sends a text stating "am sorry love can you please forgive me." At first,I fell right back into the cycle of course forgiving him then I came back to reality. Case in point, we had plans for dinner tonight but I canceled late yesterday deciding this is no good for me. Since then I have been emotionally open to dating others. No longer do I turn other guys away because of my imagined relationship with him. I still love him but realize you can't be friends with anyone who does not show themselves as a friend. It's reciprocal not one sided. Thanks for all of the comments and especially to Aphrodite Bull because a few weeks ago I couldn't have ever imagined canceling a date with him. But today (even though I miss him terribly) I'm happy and sticking to my decision.

Mirror of Aphrodite said...

@Sagg in Distress,
GOOD FOR YOU! I've said this before and I'll say it again and again:

1.) Men know when they behave badly. As he proved by his back peddle with that apology of his. Never fall for the ole, "Who me? What did I do?" routine. Never.

2.) Once confronted, they will always first attempt to use emotional manipulation as a means of their refusal to accept responsibility for their behavior. Once again, he proved my point with his first attempt at shock and dismay and you having just read him all wrong.

He wishes you well, you reciprocate in an adult, calm and emotionally controlled manner - and POOF, suddenly YOUR mean. Classic. And that right there is proof of how maintaining emotional control and dignity in these situations works to your advantage. Stay the high road - and they quickly realize they were traveling the low road.

You're doing the right thing, without a doubt. Keep yourself open to the advances of others and get out there and explore your world. Women have all of the advantages of dating, mixing and mingling - many more opportunities than men, believe me. And he KNOWS this, which is why he's so upset at the thought.

And as you move forward, begin to "qualify" men. When you meet someone new, after several dates, ask yourself, "Does he seem to genuinely care? Does he call when he says he will? Does he make time for you? Does he do nice things and make small gestures of kindness in an attempt to impress you? Does he fulfill, or at least make his best attempt, at fulfilling YOUR needs?" If the answer to those questions is no, he's a date - but he's not the one. Every relationship involves give and take, even if it isn't a romantic one. That's what leads to a healthy relationship and those are the fertile grounds in which love grows.

He'll make other attempts, without a doubt. All of which you can entertain of course, but not commit to. And by that, I mean . . if he's upping his game and he's treating you with kindness and respect, sure, he can have a date. But you'll be dating others as well, because you're serious about your search for love and finding someone who fulfills your needs. And you are not going to settle for anything less.

And when you carry yourself like that, when you let a man know that he needs to up his game or others will have your attention over him, sometimes a funny thing happens - they respect you more - for respecting yourself.

I'm glad you've found the resources and discussions here helpful as that was and is my intent. Women have all the power, it's just a matter of reclaiming it and weilding it with authority and respect. Not with the intention to harm others, but with the intention of taking the best care of yourself.

Set out on that path and you will see . . the universe does indeed grant wishes :-)

Anonymous said...

I'm a cancer girl and I met this taurus guy at work over a year ago. He's very handsome and it's obviously the first thing I noticed, but I wasn't really interested in him when I first met him. It wasn't until I got to know him as a person that the lightbulbs went off, and I realized I was extremely attracted to him. I can even remember what he was wearing the day I admitted it to myself. It's become hard to ignore because every time I see him I have butterflies. I tried avoiding him because I'd never date someone at work. However, I'd always find myself in situations where I was talking to him so I just decided to go with it. It's really strange I feel like I've known him forever. He makes me feel so comfortable and his nature is very calming...I love it. He recently told me he remembers where we went for lunch for the first time, and where he first saw me at work, both over a year ago. It took me by surprise but of course I thought this was the cutest sweetest thing ever.....and it only made this whole situation worse. He's just a great guy and I've never had this kind of attraction to anyone, it's not logical and I'm a very logical person. I really can not stop thinking about him, and nothing physically has happened other than a kiss on the cheek, him to me, as a greeting. So maybe there is something to astrology....and how it can dictate how two people will interact. He certainly has my attention!

Tghost said...

I was everything written here and worse. The cheating the manipulation the emotional abuse, I did it all. At least 20 women must hate my guts. The absolute worst emotional vampire straight out your relationship nightmares.

I met someone I wanted to spend the rest of my life with. I had to break her heart, and we had to go our own separate ways.

That is what changed me.

Anonymous said...

@Tghost

If you met someone who you wanted to spend the rest of your life with why did you have to break her heart? Was it because you were still toxic and hurt her to before changing your ways?

Ice said...

I am
Sun: Leo
Moon: Gemini
Rising: Libra

He
Sun: Sagi
Moon: Taurus
Rising: unknown

He said to me "I love you" & "I have never said this to any woman before but you" & "If we ever break up , I will not be with any woman anymore, I would rather be single for life". All this is 8 years ago. We had painful break up because he had liver failure, only 20% working, he might die anytime. I never wanted to leave him but he kicked me away and yelled at me "I don't need you to pity me!!!". He would not see me anymore but we keep in contact and talk may be once a year or once in 2 year... I still love him quietly... waiting for him quietly.... till now, I don't know what I should do... my heart will remain his forever.... I might be single for life waiting for a miracle to happen.... but I am strong enough to hold an unbelieveable hope, lying to myself and I can only see him in my dream...

I love you, Kaki... Forever

From:
Lizzy, your woman Forever.

Jay R said...

From: Jay R

Hi All,

I'm back :) I've been M.I.A for a while now. Women troubles of course!

I see that Sagg, you're still here, which I'm glad to see as I related to you quite a bit (me being similar to the man in your life causing you hassles of course haha).

I just wanted to share something with you all that I have gone through over the last 8 or so months.
Just a quick bio on me: I am an Australian male, 25yo, post graduate educated, 6.2, and a Taurus of course ;)

I met this stunning girl from Israel around 8 months ago. She had finished the army, did a bit of travelling, and somehow ended up here in Sydney working for a company called Beauty Mineral (you guys have it in the states too).

She's one of those girls who will pull you over in the shopping centre and try to sell you skin care products. Needless to say, she is beautiful, probably in my top 2 (typical Taurus male vanity coming out).

It was a Saturday around lunch time, and I was shopping for a new shirt to wear out that night. I was dressed in one of my usual "Dress to impress" outfits, when this gorgeous girl stopped me. I don't have tickets on myself when I say this, but I said EVERYTHING right, and walked away giving her my number with the promise of a phone call.

2 weeks late (the nerve;) she called. I cancelled our first date as pay back for taking 2 weeks to call me (something that we Taurean men do... games that is) and then followed it up by picking her up the next day from work and taking her to my favourite beach in Sydney. That night we made, what I can only call.... actually no details... we slept together... a few times…. anyway.

I fell in love with her swiftly. Too fast actually. Which is not normally how I do things. She was a little put off by this and we said goodbye.

Now, I am a stubborn man, and will never call a girl when she says goodbye, so I didn’t, which made her want me of course and eventually she called. We got back together and due to her living arrangements, we moved in together a few months later.

Long story short, she has gone back to Israel for her father’s 60th, and is due to come back. I am however contemplating asking her not to return (not for me anyway).

My reasons, which I will explain shortly, are exactly the reasons, (I am sure), that many women have had second thoughts about me. And this experience I think it going to change my behaviour. You know... youthful invincibility turning into thoughtful rationality and all that jazz.

So being a beautiful, well travelled, military graduate….she is confident. I would say more confident than I am. She is pretty and she knows it. She is vain without being arrogant and confident without being cocky.
She is also very flirtatious, and in front of me. She makes no excuses for her actions. She says she loves me, she wants to be with me, will never cheat on me, however does not intend to change her personality (fair enough). She has turned down the volume on her flirtatiousness; however she is still very flirty with men, especially her Israeli friends which she blames on being a cultural thing.

I do realise a lot of this has to do with my own insecurities, and I have come to the conclusion that being a confident, strong, well off Taurus male who likes to be the centre of attention, and likes the girls chasing him…. I had finally met my match. I am crazy about this girl. Googly eyed as it were.

However I also realise that I will not survive her. I cannot. I am too needy of attention, too controlling, I don’t want to share her attention. I need to be loved and adored. BUT the positive is, I have figured out what type of woman I need and want. (I’ll keep that one to myself)

Jay R said...

For any woman reading this, having trouble with her Taurean man who is playing her like a fiddle and confusing the hell out of her with mixed messages and games, I have some advice for you! I have said it before in my previous posts but now realise it more than ever. Be sexy, confident, flirty, dirty, but be a lady with morals and goals, (note that I mentioned she was confident but not cocky, vain but not arrogant). Be independent. And when we have absolutely fallen in love with you because we think that you are the bees knees, the girl who we have been chasing like a confused puppy chasing his own shadow, then slow down and open up to just being you. Comfort us and let us know that we are your king.....Im typing this and thinking "God I would have married this girl tomorrow if she had just stopped with making me feel insecure".

Normally my advice is much more sound and clear, however I have a soon to be broken heart in my chest, and I’m clouded by the cracks that are showing.

Anyway I’m back and will keep you updated on what happens (if you’re interested of course :)

Jay

Mirror of Aphrodite said...

@Jay R,
Your story is very insightful, Jay R. And being a fellow Taurus, I don't want to be a ball buster here. But there is something coming to mind that I think I need to say with regards to this comment you make:

"God I would have married this girl tomorrow if she had just stopped with making me feel insecure".

THAT, my friend, is how almost EVERY SINGLE woman here is being made to feel by men out there. The games make people feel insecure. And then when the individual becomes insecure, the other person looses their attraction for them in some manner. But ironically, the one who ultimately looses attraction is the one that started it in the first place.

No disrespect, I'm genuinely interested in your thoughts and I wonder . . . could it be, my friend, that you may have received a taste of your own medicine here? Do you think karma may have caught up with you possibly? I'd be curious on your thoughts on that.

It's interesting because men make women feel insecure all the time, sometimes, even for their own amusement. But most times, when women feel insecure, the try harder - when they should actually leave, as you're doing.

Either way, thanks for returning and sharing your story. I'm sure it's one that many women here are actually going to be able to relate to.

Jay R said...

To: Mirror of Aphrodite,

To answer your question in regards to me having received a taste of my own medicine.. Yes, absolutely I have.

I stated in my previous post:

"My reasons are exactly the reasons that many women have had second thoughts about me. And this experience I think it going to change my behaviour. You know... youthful invincibility turning into thoughtful rationality".

This paragraph was meant to highlight that I have recognised that I was getting an old visit from DR. dose of your own medicine.

You make great observation in noting that men do this to women all the time, and women put up with it and even try harder at the relationship, however in my case, I'm just leaving. Well I have to say I am 100% seriously in love with this girl, and also genuinely would put a ring on her finger. However she has told me directly and upfront that I should either accept the way she is, or be honest with her and myself. Again…. fair enough on her part.

I think the difference is, that once I see that I cannot live with an aspect of a girls personality, as much as I may be in love with her or see a life with her, I also understand that it is not the end of the world, and I will meet someone again and I will feel love again. This might sound like I am taking love for granted or viewing it cheaply… quite the opposite actually. I do not wish trade in feeling loved by her, for the insecurities that that love comes with. Otherwise, how can I truly make her happy?

I remember many months ago advising one of the ladies on this site who had just gotten back with her boyfriend, that if her man has not shown changes in his behaviour within the first month, then nothing will change. Who has the time to hang onto a relationship that deep down you know is not going to work?

I gave my relationship a good shot. I moved in with her, told her I loved her, paid for us to enjoy a vacation together, stayed faithful, and told her that I viewed her as someone I could spend the rest of my life with. Hell I even said that I will try to cope with the fact that she is this flirtatious woman who enjoys the attention of men. Well I can’t. Not me.

I think she will be shocked. I was going to tell her last night, but she was visiting family. I have told her my concerns over and over again, so there is not much that she will be able to tell me to change my mind, especially given that she has strongly and directly told me that I need to accept certain aspects of her personality.

I’ve drifted a little off topic with my own issues here, but hopefully one of you ladies see that it happens to us bastard (but addictive) Taurean males as well.

Jay

Mirror of Aphrodite said...

@Jay R,
It's a strange thing, human behavior. Particularly the behavior that creates deep attraction. By inciting a tad bit of jealousy and bringing your insecurities to the surface, she became somewhat "unattainable" to you in some manner. And this "uncertainty" did, in fact, create an almost addictive attraction to her.

Yes, indeed, it is the game that men have been running on women for decades. And it does work. Particularly for men, due to the fact that instead of leaving, women make the mistake of trying harder to win the man over.

However, in the end - we all want to be with someone who makes us feel good, especially about ourselves. Spending time with someone who makes you feel bad about yourself or insecure does damage in the long run. And it can do LOTS of damage to ones self esteem, particularly in women.

Experiencing a situation like this can literally ruin a women and keep her from forming any healthy relationships with a man in the future. Men recover a bit better because they don't have the complex emotions women have, however, I think this one may stick with you, my friend, as you've already acknowledged in a sense.

This is why it's so important to treat others with respect and dignity. Human emotions are fragile and doing otherwise, you may change and damage someone forever, and not even realize it.

It is my hope, Jay R, that the women here read your story and take a cue from you:

1.) Have the ability to maintain your self respect by leaving. Someone can only do as much damage to you as you permit them to.

2.) Develop self awareness. Know yourself well enough to know what you truly do need from a partner to grant you long term happiness - and then set out to find it.

Thank you for your honesty here, Jay R.

Ladies, take heed of Jay R's story. We are all only human and each of us truly does wish to be loved and appreciated by our partner. Find the partner that can do that for you and rid yourself of the rest that are toxic to you.

It takes loads of STRENGTH to love yourself enough to do that for yourself. And Jay R is showing you how to love yourself.

Anonymous said...

I am a taurus male. I see a lot of you listing off things as mind games, but what you say in my eyes aren't games I play (at least not intentionally) The hot and cold thing.. I learned early on in relationships that I am a very passionate, and intense lover. That can be smothering to someone I would imagine, as it was smothering to my first love. Me going cold, is me giving you space. I know my off and on has been frustrating to girls in the past, but I would imagine that kind of frustration is better, than being smothered kind of frustration. Balance is not an easy thing for me accomplish. I'm good at intensity. Passion is my game. So I'm not trying to manipulate you so much as giving you space you might need, and if it adds some mystery and drives you crazy in a sense that you can't figure me out, it seems like it just makes you want us more.. Why would I stop that? I want you to want me, because I want you. I want all of you. That's all. You all seem so great! Good luck to you ladies, I sincerely wish nothing but success for all of you!!

Anonymous said...

I am a pisces and I have read just about all of these comments and I can say that my TM has thrown me for a loop and I am just looking for some answers. This is a really bad time though and I know that I cant pressure anything because he has a lot of family issues right now (and I know that family comes first I love that about TM). I look up to him he is 2 years older than me. We have known eachother for 7 years now and since the beginning I have always had a place for him in my heart. We lost touch very often too, I even stalked him for a second (I was worried about him and saw him going to the darker side after some family problems), but the chemistry never left and whenever we get together its wonderful. He tells me he's comfortable around me and that he loves me. When he really needs to get away he comes from all the pain in his life he comes and spends time with me. I cant stop thinking about him and I hurt two other men who I dated (one virgo one capricorn) because of it. Whenever he comes around he has me and I have no control over my desires. Am I in a bad spot? Im scared he will hurt me or hes just comfortable with being around me, I dont just want to be another "one". Believe me I know his list is long and even though I was his first A LONG TIME AGO he is definitely a ladies man and I can tell that he knows his way around and could run circles around me now. What do I do? I cant even calmly think about him. He makes me feel like Im desperate and that has never been me I was the type to care less. I dont want to be selfish and I feel terrible when I blurt out how I feel but he makes it where I cant contain my emotions at all...

Sagg in Distress-Update said...

Welcome back Jay R...

It looks as though you have been on your own roller coaster ride of love. I do hate to hear that this woman you can imagine spending the rest of your life with will soon find out its over because you can't give her leverage or room for growth to overcome flirtatious behavior (which I think would subside). Its quite interesting provided Taurus males are very flirtatious--taste of your own medicine here? Anyway, I wish you the best sincerely with this.

As for me, the Bull who I ALLOWED to play with my feelings for almost a year has stated he wants intimacy with me but his actions have not proven that one iota. Intimacy at its basic is you getting to know and me know you. Its the phase of real friendship development not sex which is often given without intimacy. In fact, true intimacy is something most would probably avoid at all costs because it involves transparency and vulnerability. Nevertheless, I am in a better place and finally have reached that point of just simply being tired of trying to be with someone who does not choose me. Its unfortunate that "being tired" has brought to this new place of strength but however I got here am just glad to have arrived.

Despite all that I have been through I have no regrets. I have always had men falling at my feet to date me and never had I ever been so willing to be "unselfish and patient" with a man. I think it will make me a better woman in the next relationship. I pray that I remain focused so when he reaches out again (and as Aphrodite Bull said AND HE WILL)I won't begin the cycle again. November would be a year I've known him with no substantial change. Glad to have no animosity toward him.

Thanks to you both for sharing and reminding all of us that it takes a strong woman to have enough self-respect to walk away and loads of strength to love yourself enough to fight for what you truly want in a mature, loving relationship and go after it!

jo gatehouse said...

ive been with my taurus bf for 5 months....im not a very secure women but for some reason i do believe him when he says he is just at home or with his kids.....i really get the impression he is honest...but the minute i ask a question he gets so mad and says he is not sure he wants a relationship which is confusing cos he wants to plan a holiday with me???? he is very good at holding his cards close to his chest..and dosen't ever want to make any discisions about even dinner or which shop to go to...i like him but am not in love yet..shall i get out while i can??

Anonymous said...

Mirror of A! Aquarius female with taurus male is this a toxic situation.? It seems like all of us have been with the same male lol they all sound like the male I lust for !

Mirror of Aphrodite said...

@Anonymous,
Not necessarily so. You see, Taurus is grounded believe it or not (Earth = grounded, stabilized) and Aquarius is flexible (Air = flexible and flowing). Aquarius is also into eccentricities and uniqueness.

So if Aquarius is into some unconventional things and flexible enough to go with the flow . . hey, it might work.

Anonymous said...

Thank you so much :) any tips on how I can keep him coming back for more?

Anonymous said...

pisces woman here .Well the taurus male i have been talking to for two yrs said we can go slow im just not sure what he meant by that . he still dont call but will tx when he is ready i have learned to have a life that is not waioting on him so please help .What the go slow thing

Pisces that blew it? said...

Hmm I've been here before but can't find my comment.
Anyway I had my second date with a great taurus guy yesterday. Much like the first one he allowed me to arrange dinner plans and even commented on how good they were.
So we talked for hours on end going from serious topics -always avoiding the pitfalls like ex's, well I did, he didn't at one point- to funny things. I could make him laugh so easily and it all went great. Hours flew by and same thing as last time, we're at our cars ready to call it a day. I told him I wanted to take my time, so I didn't kiss him at the end of the first date. This being the second, I wanted some confirmation of where I stood.. so I played it coy and put my arms around his waist. I didn't go for it, but my intentions were pretty clear.

Then he says he can talk to me about almost anything and I do it so much better than *rolls his eyes* others -I assume other dates-.
But he doesn't feel that way about me.

I just cannot figure this out! We had an amazing time and now he's saying that he doesn't feel anything? He sought my attention for weeks through texts, flirting with me and everything. Now he's not feeling anything all of a sudden?

Yet he still asked if he could see me next week and hugged me.

Am I being friendzoned? Did I blow it because I made a move? Hell I didn't want to wait another 3 freaking weeks to have an indication in real life if he actually liked me.

I'm torn between my usual response to this type of situation. Usually when a guy says he doesn't feel anything for me, I just disappear cause it's a waste of my time and I don't want to get hurt playing the 'lets be friends' game.

On the other hand I wonder if there's any way to salvage this. If I fall off grid for him now, cause he texted me -don't know if he'll still do that now- every day a few times, will that make him realize something? If he enjoyed talking and spending time with me that much, will me not being there make him miss me? I don't know..

You guys are the experts and at the very least an unbiased opinion. Any idea why this taurus said he doesn't feel the same? I could tell he was faking it and felt uncomfortable -don't try to bullshit a pisces-. Does having a great time/laughs/food not mean anything?
He could have called it a night so many times but never did..

Contradictory.

Tghost said...

@Anonymous

I don't feel comfortable explaining the reasoning but I'll say it was complicated.

The act that broke her heart was breaking the promise I made to never leave her.

Nothing has lived up to that relationship since and I feel a junkie chasing the feeling of that first hit. I can't be with her but I still think about her every day.

Mirror of Aphrodite said...

@Pisces,
He may be "friending" you. If so, consider yourself lucky that he's being truthful and honest with you, rather than choosing to string you along. That's a good thing, it means he respects you enough to be honest with you.

Just because a guy enjoys your company doesn't mean there's any romantic "attraction" or sizzle between you. It's unfortunate, I know. But guys have to have an emotion attraction generated to feel a spark.

Google "attraction factors men dating" and read up a bit about the things that a man needs to feel in order to decide to be with a woman in a romantic relationship.

Pisces that blew it? said...

Small update, he texted me that he wants us to stay friends because we think so much alike. But only as friends..

This is positive right?
Means I didn't blow it entirely :)
Too bad it didn't evolve into more but perhaps it's for the better.

Anonymous said...

Mirror of Aphrodite or a Taurus male, please help me on this: I am a libra and have been emailing a Taurus man. He is handsome, smart, charming, nice spoken person. Me being libra, I believe he has fallen for my pretty appearance, the way I dress, being very feminine and diplomatic. Anyways, the thing is we have different religious beliefs and if things work well, I will not be able to marry him due to this difference. Do you think Taureans are easy to change their minds - I mean make them follow my beliefs and convert them to my religion? Them being bull-headed, has this got an effect on them not changing their minds and being firm in what they believe in? Should I let this go or can this matter be solved? Thanks :)

Mirror of Aphrodite said...

@Anonymous,
I don't know about this one, that might be tough. I'm a Taurus female and as a Taurus, I'm pretty stubborn and bull headed. We don't like change all that much. We will change if a good case or reason for it can be presented, but generally, we resist change.

The best way to get a bull to change is to gently walk them into it and through it. If they want to pull back, let them. It's a slow process, Taurus moves very slow, if at all.

Anonymous said...

My taurus ex is constantly watching me in social situations. He is part of a minor part of my social circle, however it is enough for him to often be in the same situation as me. It's been almost 2 years since we've broken up but he we've had moments in between where we'd almost get back together. He and I both dated people inbetween as well. We happen to both be single now however I see him have this tendency to watch me. We may be dancing in a night club within 5-10ms of one another then he'd stare. Last week this girl hit on him and he was blatently flirting in front of me - When I was with a male colleague he was nearby talking loudly about his latest conquest, then comes over later and acts coy. Is jealousy a strong trait amongst the bulls? He seems to try to rile me up and be a possessive ass about it.. His ex (the one he dated after me was out too, however He paid no attention to her) Where is this attachment coming from? Please give me some insight aphrodite bull! :)

Mirror of Aphrodite said...

@Anonymous,
Yep, bulls can be notoriously jealous in nature (and have one hell of a temper when enraged as well). But honestly, it's not really jealousy so much as a possession thing. For example, if I see an ex with a new girlfriend whose beautiful, I won't be focused on HER or her beauty. Actually, I'll think, "Good for him, he did well for himself." (Or if he was a scoundrel, I'll think, "That poor thing has no clue what she's in for" LOL.)

But what might happen is happy thoughts about us from the past might creep up and that might make me want attention from him again. However, as for me personally, I don't act on any of those feelings. When those feelings come up with me, I acknowledge them and move on. I never interfere or feel insecure about it - but I do have the happy thoughts that take me back in time, nonetheless. (Or if he was a scoundrel, I'll get mad at him all over again LOL.)

You see, bulls can be very sentimental in nature. Even if I don't have any desire to be with the guy any more, I'll still "go back in time" with the thoughts (either good or bad). The sentimentality is always there.

But bulls who haven't learned to control their actions when these thoughts arise, those are the ones who will appear jealous and posessive in nature. So chances are, when he sees you, he's doing a bit of this - but he's actually acting on it in some manner that's showing in his behavior.

I suspect he wants your attention ;-)

Anonymous said...

@Aphrodite Bull.
Anonymous from september 11 here again (: Firstly thank you for the insight! I came to that conclusion and my gut agrees too. I instinctively knew he was out to get my attention because he ran from one night to come meet me and another mutual friend at another bar that night too. Of course it's a little tricky with exes so thank you for the second opinion.

I'd like to add; He has tried to kiss me on one or more occasions too. He does talk to me often, 3-4 times a week, and we often met until he went overseas a few weeks back. After his return I cooled down on the communication and disappeared for a while. This was due to us having a bit of a spat before him leaving. Things have been calmer now.. I guess my question now is since Taurus are sentimental, Is he simply around me because of our past? I expect him to have moved on by now; our other friends find his behaviour peculiar too. Are taurus often drawn back to their exes? Feelings or attachment should be gone as I mentioned in the earlier post we have been broken up for 2 years now... I know he personally doesn't speak to any of his exes but me. I feel like a target in a sense. He's not a bad looking fella either, he has many women under his wing. I don't like that he acts like this. :/ How would I even go about asking him for his intentions?

Mirror of Aphrodite said...

@Anonymous,
I don't think I'd go straight for the jugular, so-to-speak, and ASK him his intentions. I'd stick around and observe his ACTIONS. People can say anything, words mean nothing. If you ask, he either won't fess up (out of embarassment) or he'll lie (to protect his ego). The chances of him being honest right off the bat aren't likely. But observing his behavior, his actions, will reveal his true intentions.

Yea, he's around you because of your past together, but he must feel good about that past or he wouldn't bother. As a bull, we generally only put energy into things we deem worthwhile or worth the effort. And yes, Taurus can be drawn to their exes because of sentimentality, resistence to change and a tendency to live in the past a bit. With or without feelings involved, if there are good memories, there will be an attachment of sorts.

But if you confront him, I think he'll start to behave even more strangely, and possibly lie out of embarassment. I think it's clear he's into you by his actions. Attempts to kiss, wanting to be around you, meeting up with you . . you really don't need to ask, all the answers are sitting right there, in his behavior :-)

Anonymous said...

Just thought I would share my part. I learned a valuable lesson, I was having a sexual relationship with a Taurus Man, I am a Cancerian woman. I was well aware it was sexual and nothing else (hey they are great lovers :D) Anyway I asked him if he was sleeping with his business partner to which he said no (lol). So I took his word. Nearly a year and a half into the sexual relationship a bombshell dropped on me. His business partner approached me asking if I was with him as she was to, my answer? It was just sexual and I no idea he was with her too (lol). Awkward moment for me, as she on the other hand had no idea. Here is what I realized: To her, he was mean, aggressive and expected her to do the runaround for him, she even told me she invested a lot in him, and he would threaten her if he didn't get his way. I felt really sorry for her but who would want to be with a person like that?. With my situation it was very different, he was lovely, very nice and generous to a point where I always told him no, I don't need your help I can do it myself. He always tried to buy me things where I would politely turn him down. In my mind a sexual relationship does not include buying gifts or any other situation that belongs in a relationship status for love, NOT sex . We were good after that, the business partner and I. As for the Taurus, I cut him out of my life. I came to this decision after a heated argument, he was trying to blame me for the situation, oh boy. He played his victim card on me as if this was all my fault. I laughed at him and said, I want you out of my face and out of my life. We were in locked eye contact and I could see the emotions and reaction within him, there was hurt and pain, mixed emotions and gosh who knows. I made up my mind from there, stay far away Taurus please. This was 6 weeks ago, a close friend of his continues telling me, the Taurus feels remorseful, he wants to apologize and so on. I would love to reconcile but I don't know if I want him in my life or not, but then again I do not appreciate that I was thrown into a love triangle where the business partner to her knowledge, she was actually his girlfriend, they got together 4 months before I came on the scene. I was not impressed with how the situation was handled, I was stuck with a brokenhearted woman calling me asking me more questions about my relationship with him, I gave her no details as I realized he spent a lot of time with me over her. I was also waiting for her to then turn on me and as you all know, woman do get the jealousy bug now and then, so that came as well. She started stalking me from my job, asking people my whereabouts, what do I do, who do I hang out with. So I ignored it and will continue to ignore the situation and the Taurus. I do not hate him, he is a lovely man, he has serious issues, lying is one of them. In a weird sense I believe he lies so he does not hurt anyone. During our fateful argument gosh I was ready for a fight (lol) but the feedback I got from him is he is not over the hurt that was played on him years ago, so he was continually doing it now. He brought up every single thing I did to hurt him. e.g 'You were always mean to me!' My reply? You kept coming back for more! (lol) I laugh because it was so childish but I'm a well known smarty mouth once I get going. Although this experience happened to me I still love my Taurus men, maybe I am a bit to hard, hey I'm a Cancerian, but my heart itself is very soft.

SUN IN CANCER
MOON IN SCORPIO
VENUS IN GEMINI

COMPLICATED ME :D

Mirror of Aphrodite said...

@Anonymous Cancer,
You're obviously better than me because I think I woulda' killed that man for involving me in his mess, LOL. As a Taurus, I woulda' seen red. Head down, horns out, heels dug in.

Not that this applies to you or your situation, because you've rid yourself of him, but for some odd reason, an old saying popped into my head when I was reading your story so I figured I'd share it here for other women to ponder if need be, relating to their situations:

"If he'll cheat with you, he'll cheat on you."

Anonymous said...

Oh forgot to mention I LOVE 'WHY MEN LOVE BITCHES' When I first read it, I laughed, I am most of that :)

PS They do keep coming back, by then why bother? Keep moving forward until you've filtered out all the bad ones and the good ones are the only ones left standing, then make ya move :D

Devious99

Anonymous said...

@Aphrodite Bull
Anonymous from September Again. Thanks for the sound advice yet again.

The part you mentioned saying "Happy/Good" memories is what strikes me as a little odd. Our breakup was mutual however there was a lot of angst leading up to the break up. We argued and tempers flared and so he initiated a break and I agreed. Then finally it was a mutual "Never get back into one another's lives, I hate you" type agreement. Quite immature yes, so there was a period of hate ridden months. He was bitter and unwilling to even look at me. I always smiled at him politely and acknowledged him though.

As I've mentioned, we do keep in contact. He's been texting me rather frequently. I don't reply much and usually leave him hanging. I have read your "The disappearing reappearing man" article and felt this is what he's been doing previously. I do harbour some feelings for this man. Not strong enough for me to initiate one on one dates again or see him often. Plus my pride is a factor here.. So what's the best way to approach this? I do want him to like me... But I'm not sure if he's ready to handle a relationship again. How could I even go about this?

Thanks again (:

Mirror of Aphrodite said...

@Anonymous from September,
Maybe it ended badly, most do. I mean, breakups aren't fun. But prior to that, I bet he enjoyed something about you, whether he's ever told you that or not, or he wouldn't bother. And I think the best way to go about this is to continue to be a challenge of sorts, but maybe when you do bother to respond, ignite a conversation of sorts that's a little more involved than your usual conversations with him.

The next time you bother to respond, keep it short and sweet. Then the next time, give him a bit more attention again. Handle it that way and ease into it. The times that you give him a bit more attention, he'll notice. And the next time, when you're a bit short or don't respond at all, he'll notice. This type of activity will pique his interest and keep him guessing (interested). It's weird, I know. But hey, it's their game, women don't have a choice (we'll we do but it's either play the game or be run over), this is how it is - so play it.

Anonymous said...

I am a scorpio woman and after reading these posts I decided to ask the taurus males on here for their opinion on this, well everyone really. WARNING: This is a bit heavy!

So here goes, I met this taurus and we got to talking, he dropped me home one night and was such a gentleman, we talked a lot and kept in touch. We spoke daily for weeks via blackberry messenger. I knew the sexual attraction was raw and strong as he would literally be aroused for hours and he said that he really couldn't help it. It was so bad to the point where we had this embarrassing situation where we were at the beach, just a few hours after meeting and after being erect for at least 2 hours he couldn't get it to go down and had to get out the water with it still up. Yes there were people around, lol! This never changed really, it was the same every time we met and he kept saying I have to have sex with you soon because these erections are painful...

So he would come onto me really strong but I'm a scorpio female and I don't trust easily and believe that a man has to work to get what he wants. So we kept seeing each other, hanging out, talking, cuddling and I felt comfortable and entertained around him. I told him I wanted to do IT with him at some point because I did. We did the simplest things together, and it was always great. I knew we could grow together where i could trust hi enough to give all of me to him. But I must admit that I had doubts, I kept wondering where this was going, was he legit and honest? I even told myself on countless occasions that I would stop seeing him but well that never really happened. SO after a little over a month, we went out and he said, no alcohol because if we end up doing it, (I had never done it before) I want you to be of sound judgement, so we got a place for the night since he lived a bit far, not with the intention to do it but just to hang out and spend alone time together.

Long story short as I don't want to type much more than I already have, he came onto me then forced himself on?into me. He didn't stay very long or go in very deep but it hurt like hell (I had never done it before and he knew). After he got out I cried and he was like I'm so sorry, I never would have done it if i knew you would have reacted that way, etc. He stayed up with me most of the night holding me and comforting me and kept apologizing over and over. The following morning we went to the beach to talk things through, he was attentive and kept holding me and touching me and trying to make me laugh/smile. As soon as he got home he messaged me and said he knew that being alone might make me mad all over again and he didn't want me to be and that he was so so sorry.

The thing is I was violated and I don't know what to do. I know that he is genuinely sorry I think that his stubbornness led him to convince himself that i would be only slightly mad and get over it sooner... I'm so confused, we still talk, he says he feels overwhelmed with guilt and will only be ok if I'm ok. I do like him but I'm not sure if I can get past this thing. I think I have forgiven him but I can't forget and I can't help it but feel extremely mad at him at times to the point where I want to lash out. He says he is hurting and every time I lash out/tell him how I feel he says he hates himself for it and wants to just disappear but he will be a man and take it because it's his fault and he just wants me to be/feel better.

What's your take on this ever tangled web that I'm in?

Mirror of Aphrodite said...

@Anonymous Scorpio,
This is very troubling. I need to understand something. Did you say no? Or were you ready and in agreement and it was just too painful?

I'm getting the impression you were not in agreement because you stated you were violated. Stay away from him. He's already proved to you that he'll use force.

If this was a case of force and you said no and were not in agreement, then this is date rape. And if that's the case, then this should be/should have been reported.

I can't comment on anything further until I know what happened. Are you saying that you said no and he used force and this was date rape? Or are you saying you were in agreement and ready and it just became too painful?

Anonymous said...

I am a Taurus male.

Part I

I think a lot of the things on here are just plain BS. I have never considered myself a player. I have been in a real relationship only once, in college (2 years); she was a Cancer. She started being bossy and eventually pushed me away. I am very picky, but I thought she was the one, but with time her pushing got to me. I did shower her with gifts and devoted as much time as I could to her. At one point during summer vacation she blocked me from IM and that was it. When we met again at school I broke it off. After breaking up my friends in college told me that I acted as if I was married to her. Honestly, looking back now, doubt she thought I would break up with her. But that was over a decade ago, and even if I met with her again I would thank her for the experience. No ills, no qualms...would that be considered playing? At the same time I know that I would not want her to be the mother of my children.

Now in regards to Taurus males coming back and talking to you after years; I think it is more about closure and understanding OUR feelings. Yes even after relationships end, sometimes decades later, we are STILL analyzing. I do anyway.

Taurus are players? Doesn't apply to me. I am still a virgin, by choice. But maybe my Cancer relationship turned me into broken goods. I understand that, and accept it. I'm also surprised at how flaky so many of these stories seem to make Taurus men. I always believed a man's word is his bond. I don't make promises. However when I do, I keep them.

continued...part 2

Sun in Taurus, Moon in Aquarius, AC in Libra.

Anonymous said...

Part 2

I have met a Libra this spring after refusing to date for over a decade. She is older than me, about 5.5 years, and she made me realize that NOT all women are b*tches. Before I left (this is an overseas encounter), I asked her if we were dating or not. She told me we are friends, which while I think is BS, I'm willing to accept. Of course I keep in touch with her but I've cooled off some. I also did realize that I did the disappearing act on her. Now why did I do this famous Taurean trait? It was getting too hot too quickly, and I was about to leave. Knowing I couldn't devote as much time as I would want, and as much as she would probably want, analyzing it, for me, backing off and cooling off a little seemed like the best thing at the time. I simply analyzed the situation and tried not to hurt her. Is that considered playing?

Bottom line, I never knew Tauruses where such players. However I can see the mind games. Since we are introverted and observant, it's just the way we are wired. The 'mind games' are our way to test females by our standards. However a Taurus (or just me) will never accept a woman that has no purpose, lacks confidence, lacks financial stability, lacks charm, lacks femininity, and most importantly if she's classless. The one thing I forgot...RESPECT; if you're a doormat, why would I treat you differently? She has to respect herself. If a woman is classy and she respects herself, these two things sort of work into each other, for me she's already 70% there. I have gone out with 'friends', as in I consider them female friends and NOTHING else, and I learned what I enjoy. For me to turn my head after a woman, she has to be something else. Sadly, Tauruses do analyze everything, from your walk, how you talk to your friends, how you eat, how you do everything. I am mature enough to know what I want, and I won't settle for less...is that 'playing'? If a Taurus is spending time with you he is analyzing you as a mate. You have to consider the broad picture and considers years ahead to understand the mind of a Taurus. If you don't know why he dropped you after a few weeks or months...you did something, that's certain, something you did does not fit with his broader picture in the future. I know I'm worth it and I will not hand myself to just anyone. There are too many disappointed divorced singles. I'll die single before I do that. Picky sure, player? Still a virgin. No I'm not religious. Marriage? Maybe with a prenup to someone who is more than I hope to find, otherwise not a chance in hell for marriage.


Sun in Taurus, Moon in Aquarius, AC in Libra.

Mirror of Aphrodite said...

@Anonymous Taurus Male,
First of all, thank you for coming here and sharing your point of view, personal experiences and thoughts on the matter.

As you can see, this piece is titled, "Experiences With A Taurus Male." These are my experiences and I, myself, am a Taurus female. I know you think this is all BS, as you stated, but these ARE my experiences and, as you can see, many other women's experiences as well. So it's not BS, it's simply personal experiences, all of which will vary from person to person.

Additionally, the piece is centered on Taurus men who cave to their darker side. If you've never caved to your darker side, that's awesome, but others clearly have caved as you can see from the numerous personal experiences listed here. And perhaps that's the reason you can't relate to any of it - having never caved to the dark side.

I never deemed or referred to the sign of Taurus or Taurus men as players in this article. These are real life personal experiences being shared here. And if it just so happens that many of them appear to be players, then that just happens to be the personal experience one has had is all.

But again, this article is specifically focusing on the Taurus men that cave to their darker side and not all Taurus men, in general. Taurus is actually a very loyal sign, however, a Taurus who has lost his way is only human, as we all are, and will partake in exploring their darker side.

Anonymous said...

@Aphrodite

I was not in agreement, and I did say no but that didn't stop him from entering, and when he realized I really meant no and that I didn't want it, it was too late. I am so confused and I have lashed out so many times. I was not ready, he knew I had never had sex and he asked me if I was ready and I said no. He claims that he thought that I was simply afraid of the pain and once he started, I would continue. He also claims that he never imagined that I would have been so upset.

I am a very traditional woman and even if I will be 28 soon was willing to wait until marriage. I admit there were times I just wanted to throw in the towel (hence considering doing it with him at some point) but I managed to stay strong all these years. I feel like he ruined a part of me and he ruined a good thing between us.


Anyway, I did report it but didn't follow up because I am terrified of the long, drawn out process. I really am lost. I am a christian and believe in forgiven as God forgives me a sinner, every single time. But it's hard, i keep thinking he violated me and that makes me angry at him. Before that horrible ill fated night he was so sweet and attentive and made me feel completely comfortable and he made me laugh. Now I just wish I had never met him.

So in short, yes it was date rape.

Mirror of Aphrodite said...

@Anonymous,
Ok, this is very troubling indeed. No means no. It doesn't mean that he can assume that because he knows you and you're on a date with him or accompanied him there that he can force sex, and then imagine or fantasize that somehow, you'll enjoy the experience against your will once it's begun.

I'd say to follow up on the report. If you're too afraid or confused to do so, or fear scrutiny, then at the very least, cease any and all further communication with him. For your own good and also so that you don't taint any pending possible legal actions.

He thought no meant that you were afraid of the pain? He didn't think no meant that you didn't want to particpate in the encounter? He never imagined you'd be upset that he forced himself on you?

Hmm, I imagine he knew FULL WELL what he was doing was forcing himself onto you and I imagine that's the reason he was so attentive afterwards (for fear of you reporting it).

I think you need to seek some professional help. I suggest you do so asap so that you can begin to deal with the feelings of violation, the emotional scars and begin the healing process. Don't let this go, seek professional help for yourself immediately.

Maybe this is a good place to start (there's a hotline):

http://www.rainn.org/

Those folks will be better equipped to advise you.

Anonymous said...

@ Mirror of Aphrodite
Repling back to your post September 12, 2012 5:09 PM

As a Taurus, yes I saw those eyes narrowing in on me horns pointing nostrils flared (lol) I do remember getting ready to jump over him if he came charging. He still asks people about me, but because of how the situation ended I would rather forget and run, why? because I'm so sure he would want to put me in my naughty corner and sit me their for eternity (lol) In business, work and the bedroom we were very competitive with each other. As far as I think, I won and now I run (lol) Thanks again for your input and I had to laugh at your comment "If he'll cheat with you, he'll cheat on you." That's the saying I was looking for during my time with him! (lol) I knew deep down he was not being honest with me so I took this one for a ride to see where it was going (I'm also a metal monkey, too curious for my own good). He has moved out of town and of all places he moved to my home town where I go every weekend *groan* and the business partner has cut off all ties with him and has gone back to her HUSBAND she actually wasn't his girlfriend at all I later discovered, but she wanted him so badly (gosh did I run out of that triangle lol) No matter what experiences I have with Taurus people I love them I always will, I love how they are such earthly grounded/sensual people with lots of sensibilities, the attributes I lack :D

@Anonymous Scorpio
He did what?! No man should ever hold you responsible for their 'pain' of an erection because they need to have 'sex' that is a forceful, manipulated action, that is also a serious situation. I hope you find the right support because this isn't right :(


SUN IN CANCER
MOON IN SCORPIO
VENUS IN GEMINI

COMPLICATED ME :D

Devious99

Anonymous said...

Thanks for your advice Aphrodite and I have decided to follow up with the report, I am going in to give the statement this week to get the ball rolling.

I am still confused but a little less now that I have gotten an objective opinion. I still ask myself what if he is genuinely sorry and this was a genuine "mistake", but then I remember the scars that his mistake left, and my nieces, and I want at least one man to know that it is not ok to force any woman to have sex or to force himself onto her. I don't want this to ever happen to my nieces. So thanks.

Scorpio

Anonymous said...

Truer words have have never been spoken, I was married to a Taurus man for 15 years, it was like you knew him.

Anonymous said...

Leo woman- what a headf*ck. Trying to extricate myself from a taurus man. I've been wondering why my self esteem has been in the gutter since I started dating the guy. When we were on holiday he was the master of passive aggression and emotional abuse, made me feel like crap about myself and everything was my fault, had me in pieces on several occasions and he doesn't do apologies.. at least not until all hell has broken loose. What a nasty temper. It left me devastated each time as was such a huge shock after his gentleness and calm. All argument resolution was up to me, he just walked away and played the cold bastard. Scheming and tender at the same time. Tight with money but great at spending it on himself. Bought me loads of beautiful gifts and then treated me like total sh*t. Emotionally very childish, petty-like a dog with a bone if you do anything at all he interptrets as offensive to his ego; he will NEVER let it go. Met him when he was with someone else years ago and dumped him as soon as I found out, then met him again years later and he told me he had just broken up with someone- actually he hadn't but told me he had a few weeks after meeting me again. all hot one minute, but doesn't want a relationship the next. My head's done in and I have to get out before I am left permanently scarred...or worse, addicted to the great sex. Yes, that will be hard! A total contradiction. Wants you around with all the home lovin, home cooking and security; resents you for being around because he 'needs his space' but will control you from going out with your mates in case you get any other male attention. Shockingly traditional, or should I say sexist, attitudes to relationships. so, emotional immaturity, self-absorption, manipulation coupled with a real tendency to infidelity, bad temper, obstinacy, 'old-man stuck in his ways'and not changing for anyone, vindictively petty and hurtful to the extreme. Run. Run. Run.

Sad Cancer said...

I'm trying to forget a Taurus that I felt used me. I can't get over him no matter how hard I tried. He wanted to be with me at first and to make a long story short he left and went to another state. 9 months later he came back and I saw him in front of my doctors office and he was staring at me. What is he thinking? Can anyone tell me why he is staring? Oh yeah he wasn't alone, he was with another girl.

Anonymous said...

I am a Sagittarius woman and my Taurus guy stood me up and disappeared. Where to start, We have been officially been dating for two months. We met in a very crazy situation. My friend is a upcoming artist who needed her portfolio revamped . She came to me looking for photographers because I work in the industry. Needless to say my friend is a diva and she ran off two prior photographers. The make up artist who we met thru the second photographer introduced us to the new photographer who is my taurus guy. When we met I instantly thought he was attractive ,but he was sleeping with the makeup artist who introduced us. So I stayed away. The make up artist became jealous because she noticed the immediate chemistry and decided she no longer wanted to work with us and left. The next day he cut off all communication with the makeup artist and said he was tired of her antics and wanted nothing to do with her. So the shoot lasted about two weeks and over the time he would flirt and i would flirt back but i keep my distance. I saw him him everyday during that two week period , He knew that i really good at photoshop , I taught him a few things.So he would ask me my opinion about certain pictures and that my approval matters.When he asked me out , i immediately told him i didn't want to be in the same situation as him and the makeup artist and i didn't want to be caught up in the drama. He reassured me that he was done with her and i accepted his date. The first date went pretty good we went to the movies and afterwards we just hung out at his place. We talked for hours about his drama with his family and his love for photography . After the date i liked him but i felt more like a therapist . But i nudged it off to be like maybe he just going through a lot. The second date was different he catered to me, did the right things, and things ended up getting hot and heavy and we ended up sleeping together way sooner than i would have liked or expected. I chose not to stay the night and left.The next day he called me to see how I was doing. Two days later i ended up leaving to go out of town for business for two weeks. During the two weeks he called me and text me everyday. He was texting things saying he misses me he cant wait till i get back. When i got back he text me the next day asking did i make it back ok i told him yes. Three days later I go to his apartment , we hang out watch movies , I spend the night . He gets up and goes to work and kiss me and tells me to have a good day and i will see you later. I was like ok you do the same. Next day he goes on a cruise for a week, so i didn't expect to hear from him , but when he got back i still didn't hear from him so i text him and asked did he make it back he said yes. So at that point i was like i can take a hint you dont want to be bothered . Thirty minutes later he text me and asked me how i was doing and did i miss him . I told i was fine , and i just said i missed him a little. I asked him if he missed me he said yes. three days go by and i dont hear from him so i remembered on a previous date he told me he likes a particular food. I told him that i could cook that better than anyone he said when i come back from my vacation you should cook it, and i said ok .So I invited him over to my house to eat the next day because i knew that was his favorite food . He asked me what time i told him and his response was ok . The next day came no call , no text, no show. I was pissed and decided that he wasn't worth me calling, texting, or emailing. Even though I was highly upset I just moved on from it three days later he text me at 12:30 am and says hey like nothing happened. When I woke up I just saw it and deleted it. My question is did I miss something; things were going good until he stood me up? Did I sleep with him too soon and he lost interest or is he just a tool that thinks women should reward his bad behavior and chase after him? I also saw he stood me up for a marketing event to advance his career.

Mirror of Aphrodite said...

@Sag Woman,
Well, I think your best clue was getting a peek at the scenario that he developed with the makeup artist. I think this is just his M-O. Get the girl wrapped up in you, then sit back, push buttons and enjoy watching all the emotions.

Sounds like he's an insecure guy and these pranks make him feel manly and wanted. He probably lacks some social skills in the intimacy and/or emotional department and sounds immature.

It's the players old "sweep her off her feet" method I think. Don't chase him, whatever you do, don't chase him. He'll only engage you and tell you what you want to hear to keep the ego stroke from all the female attention working for him.

You might want to check out this piece here:

http://www.aphroditeastrology.com/2012/06/disappearing-reappearing-man-what-to-do.html

When a guy comes on real strong and puts lots of effort into the pursuit but falls short on the follow through - it's a sure sign he'll be gone as quickly as he arrived.

Insecure men needs lots of attention from women in order to feel confident and secure about themselves. Unless your willing to stroke that ego all day and play second to his "me first" attitude - I'd say bye bye. I wouldn't even bother with a response or an explanation. His actions are doing all the talking here and he seems to be more trouble than he's worth.

Anonymous said...

Thanks at Mirror of Aphrodite its @ Sag woman you helped me a lot i read the article the disappearing /re-appearing article you wrote it was great. I found out the real reason he stood me up and started to become hot and cold with me was because he was into someone else.They have been dating for six months while we were only for two months . They just posted their relationship online last night. From now on I will definitely take things a lot slower. Lesson Learned.

Sad Cancer said...

Hi Mirror of Aphrodite. Do you think if a woman moves on from the Taurus, he will have regret? I know alot of women put up with his BS but a woman who had enough of his games and leaves for good, I'm thinking he might regret what he did.

Mirror of Ap;hrodite said...

@Sad Cancer,
Yes, it's quite possible. Taurus are known to be sentimental and have a hard time letting go of the past. In time, it's possible that he'll reflect on the situation and have some regrets. He may or may not decide to revisit them - depends on how important it was to him.

Sad Cancer said...

@ Mirror of Aphrodite, I don't understand why he was staring at me? I know I shouldn't care but after being gone for 9 months and came back, you think he miss me? During the time he was gone, I tried to forget him by dating another person and the other man wanted to marry me. It was more like a rebound than anything. I tried to reconcile with the Taurus man by as to why he left, he said he wanted to start life right again. I told him I was dating and the guy wanted to marry me but it didn't happen. The Taurus man said sorry to hear that, and two months later on his Facebook page, he changed his status to single to married, and he let it stayed there for 4 days and change it back. He never did that before. What is he thinking? and I was wondering if I can invite you on my radio show to talk more about Taurus men. I do have a radio show and I think your article is interesting. Is there a way to contact you private? Thanks

Anonymous said...

Hi. Sagittarius girl here. Well, I've had my fair share of having a "dating experience" with a Taurus guy on an online dating site. We hit it off at first. He was funny, very attractive, and a great conversationalist. He started calling me and we spent time instant messaging each other just so we can talk. He then gave a snide comment that stirred me and got me somewhat insulted. That pushed my button. I still talked to him but suddenly blocked him. I then lied of not doing so and things just got ugly. He then stopped responding and even got to the point of him labeling me as a "sick person" and that he'd rather not associate with people like me. That has really gotten into me. We stopped talking for several months but to some unexplained reasons, I found myself messaging him again. I did apologize for my past behavior but it seems that he wouldn't change his perspective about me. He said that nothing has to be forgiven and it's time to move on. As much as I want to befriend this irresistible charming guy, I really had to back off. This time, for good.

Anonymous said...

I am floored and shocked by what just transpired with my Taurus fling. We are both married. We have been seeing eachother for almost 9 months now. In the begining, we had the nsa, no feelings, not trying to alter our statuses etc conversation. I was very confident in my readings that I should never expect him to leave his wife, that was comforting. Naturally however, over the months with sex that amazing, feelings and gooeyness started to develop. He had to travel for work and was going to be gone for 8 weeks. At week 4 the need for eachother was so strong, I had to go to him for a weekend rendezvous. When I got home, I let him know I made it safely. He told me that he told his wife he wants a divorce when I left! WHAT JUST HAPPENED?! I am a gemini and I am stunned! I dont know what to say or do. I cracked a joke about the proverbial greener grass, and taking the time to water your own grass. His answer: "The grass is actually much greener this time." Has he lost his mind? I also asked what if anything his development means to me/us... is there some expectation, I feel like his decision has changed everything. His answer: "I enjoy every minute we share together, You mean alot to me and I worry about your well being all the time, It is apparent that you need me as much as I need you, I know you have a plan, its your show, Our relationship is ever evolving, let it blossom on its own." He tells me he loves me daily now. Is this real life? What the heck just happened?! HELP ME... I dont understand and as we all know, verbalizing thoughts and feelings with enough detail for a gemini to understand is one of the only things a Taurus does not do well.

Mirror of Aphrodite said...

@Anonymous,
I've only got a few thoughts on this one unfortunately . . . 1.) Karma 2.) If he'll cheat with you, he'll cheat on you. Good luck!

Anonymous said...

I have no illusions of him being a keeper, or me being a keeper for that matter. I cant believe he did that. I just need to understand what he was thinking. I know im awesome, but really? The best part was that it was amazing, non commitial good lovin.- Gemini

Anonymous said...

(PART1)I’m an Aries and my story with this Taurus guy all started 11 years ago (sorry it will be a very long story… bear with me). I’ve known him through my older sister as they used to work together at a local video store. My sister told me about a really funny, calm and ok guy she is working with and that I should meet him…. Which I did by going to their video store acting as if I were there to rent a movie while I actually wanted to see who is that guy that even my hard to please older sister is paying compliments to.
So anyway I saw him for the first time and nothing special really happened… but WOW when he talks….His voice was dark, mature and sensual (When they say Taurus have good voice… they’re not kidding). A few days later I called the video store and he picked up the phone… I asked if my sister was there and he replied no and asked if I wanted to leave a message ( that was an excuse… I knew my sister didn’t work that day ), I said no and before he could hang up I started to talk to him about all sorts of things and we talked for close to an hour and half with interruptions here and there as he had customers. Before we hung up I can detect confusion in his voice… as of what just happened… I thought that was cute and that made my day 
For the next few weeks I called the video store frequently and every time we talked for hours…and I decided to go forward and asked if he use ICQ (back then it was very popular) he then replied he could… and that same night we chat for hours on ICQ which was fine…. But gosh did I miss his voice.
He was very honest with anything… and I also learned that he never had a girlfriend…which I could see why; as shy as he is…nonetheless I find him more and more attractive everyday…but never once did he gives me any hint about his feelings… I felt as if I was just another one of his friends… but to be honest if you know how real Taurus men are... there were more than enough clues of his feelings for me… but I just refused to see those clues.
A whole year passed with us calling each other on phone, chatting on ICQ and MSN and a going out with friends.
Then one night on ICQ… our conversation kinda went weird… in a good way…for the first time in a whole year he started flirting with me… it was really awkward but soooo cute…I could see right through him and asked him if he’s trying to get anything from me…to which he replied a straight yes… and that took me completely by surprise… I was disarmed and kept silent for a while and told him I needed to sleep… he didn’t try to force an answer out of me at all and just wish me good night.

Anonymous said...

(PART2)A few days later me and my sister invited him to our house along with a couple of our friends…he didn’t stay for long as he only knows my sister and myself…. But when he left… both my mom and my grand-mother was extremely pleased with this young man and both told me –NICE CATCH!!!… he was very polite and of course very shy lol.

Another few weeks passed without him ever mentioning anything about his flirty attitude that one night on ICQ… he didn’t want to pressure me I think. Then one day I went to his video store and asked if he wanted to go to my place after work to hang out and he agrees. That afternoon when we met at my place… we were alone… I can see him being kinda uncomfortable which was funny… I think he expected my mom or my sister to be there with us lol. After a few minutes of talking and a glass of water I asked him to follow me to my bedroom… there we keep talking for a while until he said he got to go… before he could stand up I grab him by his jacket to sit him back down and looked at him… and asked him why he never went back to that one night on ICQ? He started to blush and told me he thought I wasn’t comfortable with the situation and that I might need more time (how cute is that????) I just gave him a smile and asked him and he’s ok with an answer now? And he just nod… Then I asked what he sees for us in the future and that we are very different? He kept silent for a few seconds and stared at me straight into the eyes and say…
-I don’t know…I just thought you’re different…talking to you on phone, ICQ and MSN just doesn’t seem enough for me
-What I feel is really weird and intense…I seem to think about you for no reason at all and all the time…
-And having you here right in front of me just doesn’t seem enough… ( and again he started blushing)

That was amazing… at least to me it was…but I had to act cool since I’m an Aries and I don’t want him to know that I was completely enamored by what he just said…I was speechless and caught completely off guard…I kept silent and was doing my best to think of something smart to say…but nothing came to mind… nothing at all… He looked at me with a gentle smile and somehow he just saw right through me and told me:
-Let’s try this out… let’s learn more about each other on a different level…I want to know the YOU at home…the YOU I just saw… and I would like you to know more about me as well.

He made it sound sooooo easy…. Then grab one of my hand and started to say… those are tiny hands, let me take care of you…He stood up, gives me another smile and went home…What in the world just happened…I was in heaven that night…he didn’t log on ICQ that night, and I missed him sooooo much…but I wouldn’t know what to say anyway…

Anonymous said...

(PART3)A few days passed and I started to feel very uncomfortable… as I didn’t gave him any real answer at all but instead he was doing everything by himself and proud as I am… I kinda wanted to get the last saying in this… so again I went to the video store and ask him to come over after work which of course he agrees to. And that night once again we’re alone in my room and I couldn’t look at him straight in the eyes as I usually do…but gather all my courage and asked him if he wanted to date me? With another gentle smile and this time I even got a little pat on the head and he said… I waited for that answer for quite a few months now. My face was RED HOT… I think I was blushing…we kept talking for a while and this time I took his hands and didn’t want to let them go… ever…before he went home… he drag me close to him and give me the first hug!!! His right hand went through my hairs and he told me I can feel your warmth and heartbeat…Good night…I know mine will be divine. (When a Taurus man hugs you… you’ll never forget it)

He went to my place more often from that day on…We talked a lot about anything…and because I never get tired of his voice… and that one day arrived... before he left for home… I was expecting a hug as usual… which I did get… but this one lasted quite a bit longer and much tighter…then he eased up and gives me the first kiss on the forehead… then the cheek…and the lips…I was defenseless and abandon myself completely…

He moves very slowly in relationship…. But I Love every second of it. He’s very respectful of my needs and feelings… and never tried to force himself on me…We hug a lot and we kiss a lot and everyday was so exciting. One day during a passionate kiss, he slips his hand under my shirt and started to rub my back and I started to do the samething and he loves it…then I blow gently into his ears which got him completely aroused (that was cute as hell), I just found his weak spot lol… so I keep doing it and even give it a little lick…He looked at me and told me plz don’t do that unless you’re ready for whatever next is coming…and Proud me of course have to keep teasing him… and what was next was beyond this world… but we didn’t make love…I was not ready and he knew it.

Taurus people… especially my Taurus are extremely attune to physical contacts, they do love to touches you and it always felt so right… his hands was always warm and I more than welcome them.

A few months into our official relation… we had our first few arguments…I discover how possessive he is as time passes…He doesn’t like it when other guys touched me at all…while I don’t see what’s wrong with that, our arguments however stay light and short, He never scream or anything he just kinda keep silent and asked me why those guys needed to touch me.. and I just told him those are friendly physical contact and that he red too much into it…Then he apologized but I could see he still wasn’t happy about it…I asked him why didn’t it bother him before… and he told me I was not his girlfriend before and that things are kinda different now…and we both agrees that we shouldn’t take these things so seriously.

Anonymous said...

(PART4)After a year into our relationship… this is where it started to go from bad to worse….I have had many boyfriend before him while he never had any relationship before… and I do kept most of my ex as friend and good friends… while he thinks that that kind of thought doesn’t make sense at all we fight a lot on that topic because he hated it when I go out with my ex boyfriends…. One time I was supposed to go to the theater with one of my ex and he got very angry and told me he will not tolerate that since I was in a relationship with him and that my ex was in a relationship with another girl… and that it doesn’t make sense at all that… I was hurt that he didn’t trust me but I comply with his demand since I do think that make sense… but I made it sounds as if I was making him a favor this time.

From that day on things went even worse… one of my ex boyfriend actually got his MSN and started to talk to him about how lucky he is to be with me and all and my ex even told him that he was still in love with me…My Taurus was mad but he never actually told me anything about it…I actually learn about this at the end of our relationship 

We do have our sweet moments and all but overall… our relationship had gotten very tense everytime I go out with guys, especially when some of my ex are there.

We once went ice skating with a bunch of friends and one of the guy who had a crush on me for the longest time went to my Taurus and said hi to him… he replied with a single nod and before he could move on the guy told him to ease up and that he shouldn’t be so jealous…That was the first time I saw a real Bull l lost its temper with no filter whatsoever…within a few words… he made the other guy almost wanna cry in front of everyone… he then grab my hands and act as if nothing was wrong…That night we had a huge fight, I told him that the guy with the crush on me call me everyday and that I don’t want to talk to him and that I always cut it short….and I asked him what he wanted me to do??? He was furious and told me it’s not about what he wants… It’s about what I want…I never understood that until recently.

Anyway a few more months passed with us fight a lot more till that day I decided to end everything… and told him we should stop this relation…He was devastated and I was very sad.. but I thought that was the right thing to do back then…we did hook up together a week after but it was sort of a for old time sake date…I’ve missed him sooo much but I just couldn’t bear his controlling ways anymore… and I think he understood that so like always he never forced anything out of me, he didn’t try to get back together either… We just enjoy each other presence whenever possible… until me and my family moved and I didn’t contact him nor did I give him our new address or phone number…

Anonymous said...

(PART5)A few weeks passed and I called him because I missed him soo much and asked him to meet at the University… which of course he agrees to…We went into a private room for studying, but I couldn’t control myself and went and sit on his lap and we kissed for a long long time. That night he called my cell phone and asked what happened in that room, but I was too proud to admit to him that I miss his touch sooo bad… but instead I told him I am in a relationship with someone else….He got completely mad and told me how much of a bitch I am and just hang up…. Those words cut deeps and I still feel the cold in his voice till today.

We then haven’t heard from each other for the next 6 years…within this time, I have moved again and got into a relationship with 2 other guy one of them is current…until last year I saw an advertisement with my Taurus in it. I cried really hard that night and decided to call him the next day…As soon as I heard his voice all those years came rushing back into my head but I kept my cool and just asked him what’s new with him and all… He was busy and so was I so we agreed to go to the restaurant tomorrow night…needless to say I couldn’t sleep at all that night...I was thinking of him all night… and just couldn’t wait to see him. We finally met as he came to pick me up…I have matured much and learned to control myself so once we saw each other we both just smile at each other…but deep down I was in turmoil…I missed his voice sooo much, his touch and that gentle smile. I had a wonderful evening with him as we talked about anything, my current relationship is in bad shape and I’ve learn so much within those 6 years without him by my side…I now understand that even when he was mad at me with that guy calling me everyday… he wanted me to decided for myself, he thought I should be the one to make it clear to the other guy without him having to tell me what to do…I was so sad because I failed him that time and even thought he was being unreasonable and capricious...I’ve also taste my own medicine since my current boyfriend always go out with his ex girlfriend and I get very mad everytime...I’ve finally came to realise how easy I had it back then since my Taurus never once made me jealous… I never had to worried about anything at all his dedication to me was total and I took advantage of it…I was completely overwhelmed with sorrow and asked him why he didn’t call me at all during all this time…he suddenly turn cold and asked me should he had? And why didn’t I call him at all? My pride suddenly came right back to slap me in the face and again I was speechless… I wasn’t use to this coldness from my Bull but I guess I have to deal with it for now… so we kept on talking for a while and I also learned that he didn’t get into any relationship after me…that might be selfish but I was very happy hearing that… but of course I tried to act cool and ask if he was getting too picky…He shook his head and said probably and gave me a smile…He then avoid any further question about his personal life and just talk about random stuff which was fine as long as I get to hear this voice which has gotten even more manly…during dinner, I analyse every single part of his body…his hands seem to be as warm as ever, his eye was full of sorrow and he seems to have gain a little weight… but he still looks very solid… the rest of the evening was very calm and I felt very comfortable with him.

Anonymous said...

(PART6)A few days has passed and I have gotten into a big fight with my current boyfriend, and decide to call my Taurus guy… he immediately noticed I was in distress and ask me where I was… It was midnight and he didn’t want me to be out alone at that time so he went to pick me up and we walk all the way from my current boyfriend house to my own…I miss that nervous look from him as if something could have happened to me…but nothing nor him or I could do now. A few days later, I invited myself to my Taurus apartment which was a little awkward at first… then I started to tease him and then we had a friendly wrestling fight till he pinned me down on his bed…. Our eyes staring at each other… he then lean forward as he’s about to kiss me… I call out his name which got him completely frozen for a few seconds… and then he said… I’ll take you home…which he did.

For the next few weeks I called him all the time and we talk a little here and there… but he never call me at all…and that makes me angry… and I even asked him why he never call me at all to just say hello and get news from me like I did…He said he couldn’t do it and he probably won’t do it….I got very mad and said bye and we just hung up.
A year pass without any phone call at all till recently I called him and we talk a little over the phone…And once again I miss him so much… but I don’t know what to do anymore… I’m still with my current boyfriend and things have gotten a little better… but I still miss my Taurus so much…. I want him to be part of my life even if it’s just as a friend… but it seems so hard… and whenever I don’t get the same treatment from him as before… I get mad at him…I’m very confuse at the moment and don’t know what to do anymore…All I know is that I don’t want him to be out of my life…

Where did his gentleness go, why can’t he be nice to me as before???
I know this is a long story, but this is as short as I could make it… I even skip lots of details.
Could anyone, any Taurus man give any clue of how I can keep him around?

And for all the dark side from the topic…. Sorry none of them seem to apply this my Taurus except for the possessive part….If you get a real dedicated Taurus… don’t screw it up like I did…Cherish and accept them… that’s all they asked for… and hardship will never again be part of your vocabulary.

Thanks.

Anonymous said...

I'm a Pisces woman married to a very emotionally damaged Pisces man. I didn't know his darkness when we married but over 7 years it has affected our relationship. This weekend a Taurus man who is married to my husband's cousin danced with me at a wedding when we were both a bit tipsy. I don't dance as a rule since I'm not good at it and my husband doesn't either. My husband wanted to leave the party early and abruptly told me but I didn't want to go; it's him who doesn't like being with other people. In the end his cousin urged me to stay. I don't speak a negative word about my husband to his family but all the men are like him, very dark and broody and anti-social yet the women normal and his cousin knows this and I think she feels sorry for me.

So I was having innocent fun talking with everyone possible as I like to do, when all of a sudden her Taurus husband, who works in a heroes profession and has a strong, tall athletic build, grabs me by the hand pulls me into his body, sets my hips into his and proceeds to dance me beautifully. There was such an urgency about it and we fit so perfectly and it's been so long since I've felt a man touch me in such a firm yet gentle way that it was breathtaking and I got caught up in the moment until I realized how much we were enjoying it and had to break away. It could have been less than a minute it could have been 5 but it felt like eternity. His wife was there and she seemingly didn't care. I desperately tried to pass him off to her but she was encouraging me and he didn't want to stop but I couldn't continue ending it curtly.

No one knows how deprived I truly am. Yet I think that Taurus man knew what he was doing to some extent and though we've known each other for years, I never saw that coming. We don't speak each other's languages fluently so family dinners it's very small talk but it seems he made up for it. It was probably just his way of having fun since he likes dancing so he can not know what it did to me, though he gave me a sly smile, a wink and took a swig of my water bottle before we parted ways for the night and the next day we didn't make a lot of eye contact. Mostly, he stirred up desires that I've long put away living with a man who is cold and distant. I'd never leave my husband and feel guilty but still wanted to share this Taurus man experience that I'm trying to forget. Thanks, Taurus, for being such a flirt. What do you say to this, wise Mirror of Aphrodite?

Mirror of Aphrodite said...

@Anonymous Parts 1-6,
To answer your question, "Where did his gentleness go, why can’t he be nice to me as before???"

Hmm, well . . it went out the door. He didn't toss his gentleness there, you did. I'm sorry, I know that's probably not what you wanted to hear, but it's the reality here and I think you're reaching the same conclusion.

Bottom line, you betrayed him. Trust me, I'm a Taurus and I can tell you, I would NEVER date ANYONE who would even fathom spending time with exes over me and against my wishes, ignoring the fact that it's hurting me and ignoring my pleas for it to stop, out of respect and in order for the relationship to survive. Seeing exes while dating is NEVER, EVER going to lead you to a serious, long lasting relationship. It's disrespectful to the one you're currently dating at the time and it's selfish. You're putting yourself and your own needs before those of your partner and that is not how you have a relationship. Relationships require work and sacrifice. To be in one, you have to make compromises to keep it going and make your partner happy but more importantly, make THEM feel GOOD. Making your partner feel like crap, like they're not good enough, is never going to make a man want to be in a relationship with you. The point of a relationship is to make one another feel good, to care for one another and to fulfill their needs. Anything short of that and you shouldn't be IN a relationship, you should casually date. You can't have a happy relationship without doing the work.

To answer your other question, "Could anyone, any Taurus man give any clue of how I can keep him around?"

I'm not a Taurus man, I'm a Taurus woman - who was married to a Taurus man, together for 12 years. And I can tell you, LOYALTY and SECURITY is EVERYTHING to a Taurus. To have a relationship with a Taurus, you must be loyal to them. It makes them feel secure in a relatiionship. Without it, there will be no relationship. Also, once a Taurus feels betrayed, they won't go back for more disrespect and pain. They'll never trust you for as far as they could throw you after a betrayal has occurred. Never. (And speaking to him, contacting him and leaning on him, having him pick you up at your current boyfriends house . . all of that? Just an FYI, but that's only verifying his original suspicions about you that you can't be trusted, that you're not to be trusted. That you remain in contact with exes the entire time you're in a relationship with someone. It signifies to him that you're afraid to be alone and that you keep exes around so that you don't find yourself alone and can easily transition, at the drop of a hat, from one relationship to the next at will, whenever you like. Again, signifying to him that he cannot trust you to be loyal and provide security to him in a relationship.)

I imagine these are all of the things running through his head. And I'm not quite sure a Taurus will ever forget those things.

Anonymous said...

@Mirror of Aphrodite, Your honesty is exactly what I need right now. I’m very confused lately especially since I contact My Taurus last week. I took a walk in the park at the outskirt of town last night to try and sort things out… and guess who I met there? Someone gave me a tap on the shoulder and I turned around and see Mr. Bull asking me what I was doing there alone and at that hour…I made a joke telling him, PLZ don’t tell my mommy… and he burst out in laugh…Haven’t seen him laugh in ages… anyway we walk around for a while and then he drove me home.
I think I need to talk to my current boyfriend about the whole situation… I know I still love my Bull dearly, I want to apologize to him but not because I feel bad… but because I hurt him even though that wasn’t my intention… I’m not expecting my Taurus to forget anything and I’m more than willing to do anything that need to be done to get him to laugh again. I’ve noticed last night that light conversation about random stuff and avoiding all conversation about our private life got him more at ease….So I think I’ll keep things simple for while…hopefully that will reassure him that I’m not just looking for excitement.
I stopped contacting any of my exes a long time ago…excluding of course my Bull. I’m as impatient as any Aries out there, but after all those years…I think I’ve calm down quite a bit… but nowhere near Mr. Bull’s level… which took a whole freaking year to even flirt with me…boy this will really test my patience, but I love to think that I, that we deserve another try…I don’t want him to think that I’ve change but rather I want him to know that I’m ready and willing…I just don’t know where to start…

Anonymous said...

Here we go. Pretty tight observation.

Aries. likes to be told what to do. Great sex.
Taurus. Likes to go slow to take in everybit of the feelings in the moment. Great sex
Gemini. Needs to talk. Great sex
Cancer. Likes to be held. Great sex
Leo. Likes compliments and to be spoiled. Great sex.
Virgo. Likes to complain and have problems fixed. Great sex
Libra. Likes permission to do nothing. Great sex.
Scorpio. Likes figuring out or revealing mysteries. Great sex
Sag. Also likes to talk. Great sex
Capricorn. Likes to feel empowered or advantaged. Great sex.
Aquarius. Likes to pity. Great sex
Pisces. Likes to latch onto ur brain and call ur thoughts her own. Great sex.

Stop trying to figure Us out and instead give us what we want. U need us. we make ur food, build ur roads, and protect u when u sleep. Do not fkk with us. Jk. Ur all beautiful, despite the ugly inside.
Tm

Anonymous said...

Hello I'm an Aquarius woman fell in love with a taurus man best lover I've ever had as well as best friend! He comes and goes as he wishes has alot of girl "friends" and treats me like one he can pull from. Talks about stability marriage having children and importance of family everything I want! He then wants to take things slow and rejects my affection and my wanting to pleasure him when I want to rock his world. He leaves me confused and unsure of his true feelings. I can't seem to move on he's an electrical force that never goes away.

Anonymous said...

I am a Capricorn woman dating a Taurus male. I was employed by two Taurus men in the past and they were the biggest control-freak jerks I ever had the displeasure to know. If you have a stomach for roller coasters and low self-esteem to date a Taurus man, then go for it. My bull was married twice and cheated on both wives plus most of the girlfriends he has ever had. This was a huge red flag for me but I moved forward with him anyway (against my better judgment). Yes he is smooth with his words, polite, tender and fantastic at sex. We dated for four months and I broke up with him because he was still keeping in touch with an ex-girlfriend of two years who was begging him to move to the state where she lives. He did not tell her he was seeing someone (me), just seeing "people". This was a wake-up call for me. He did not love me or respect me enough to tell her about me so I broke it off.
After two months apart, and me an emotional train wreck, we are now seeing each other but not having sex; which is difficult because there is intense chemistry for both us. I let him make all the contact/calls. I called him once since we are dating again to tell him not to take my “I love you” for granted or lightly. We are getting to know each other on another level. He confessed/confided to me that he is afraid to give up control of his life, afraid of making another mistake (two failed marriages), and afraid that if someone really got to know him they would not love, or even like him anymore.
I think that his history of cheating and fears come from low self-esteem/insecurity. He has made some self-deprecating remarks and this feeds his need to have the adoration of women. I don't know if any one woman will ever be enough to satisfy his need to prove something to himself. I have a new prospective on it now since we are not having sex (I can think more clearly). Both of us are free to see others and I have let him know that I love him at the risk of playing my cards, so to speak.
Capricorn women are stable, secure and loyal and Taurus folk need and want that, almost to the point of being boring. He will stay at the same job for years; do laundry on the same day every week etc. He needs a lot of privacy and alone time. He is tight-lipped about his past when it comes to relationships but he has told me that some women he dated smothered/mothered him which he did not like at all.
This time around I am not so emotionally invested. I love him very much and can see us having a future together since we share so much in common. However, practical and self-respecting as I am, I will not wait forever, nor will I be a fish in his pond of woman. I told him this after he recently told me I will “be in his life forever one way or the other”. I told him that after a reasonable amount of time that I will move on, since I have never been able to be just friends with someone I have been intimate with. It’s just the way I am. It is true he does not let go of ex-girlfriends easily, but I will be the one who got away. I want all or nothing. We all deserve this ladies. :)

Anonymous said...

Cappy woman here adding my two cents. I find it interesting and appalling that Taurus men want security and loyalty from others without any margin for error; better not make a wrong move with them or else! But they toy and test women's emotions and put them through hell expecting them to wait and hang in there until Taurus makes up HIS mind. It's all on Taurus time. I guess that's where the "bull" in bullshit came from.

Capricorns also expect loyalty and devotion from their mates. Taurus and Caps are supposed to be very compatible. Both signs are also practical and no-nonsense types. But Caps are wise and they know when to back off and walk away if they are not being treated the way they should be...with respect and loyalty. You get what you give in life and Taurus expects to receive the very best from someone while they play selfish mind games. Then a normally self-respecting, smart, good woman goes crazy from the bullcrap of a Taurus who is not man enough to let her go (and stay away) if she is not the "one".

Dating for most people is about finding a lifetime mate. It is CRUEL for anyone to string someone along when either person knows from the beginning that they are not the "one". KARMA can be a real bitch...I love her.

Sad Cancer said...

I know Taurus men love to put women under their spell. My question is how does a women get out of that spell? It is so hard for me to let go of him cause I think about him 24/7 no matter where I go. Does Taurus men keep women under their spell by staring at them or what? I do notice Taurus men are known for staring at women.

Anonymous said...

My advice to Sad Cancer is to shut it down, shut down any and all emotions you have for this Taurus. I thought I had one that was different but he isn't. It's not a spell that they cast by staring at you. They are studying you like a predator studies its prey. I can usually see through the crap that some men try to pull but I was fooled and under his spell for about 6 months.

Step into the light girl and stop living under the oppressive shadow of this man’s spell. It’s called manipulation. Save yourself, believe me it is difficult because you may be in love with him by now. But please love yourself more; if you don’t this man will slowly kill you inside without any effort on his part whatsoever. They are very passive aggressive, very smooth. Get out now before you lose any shred of dignity you may still have. Trust me, when you do this, food taste sweeter, the sky is bluer, everything will come alive for you, and you will draw strength to not go back by taking your power back from him. You are worth it, he is not.

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